May 132022
 

For many people, criticism brings up bad memories of having someone harass them, call them a name or put them down. Now, when someone critiques them, they react in a way that isn’t helpful. Instead, there’s a way to change your reaction so that you’re more empowered in the situation. Discover a 5 step process to retrain yourself to deal with criticism in a much more positive way.

Transcript:

For many people, criticism brings up bad memories of having someone harass them, call them a name or put them down. Has this happened to you? If so, when someone critiques you in the present, you probably get defensive or go into fight or flight mode. When you’re in that condition, you can’t be objective or even think clearly, right? All you can do is react to the situation as you might have in the past.

I’d like to share what you can do in that situation to change your reaction into one that might be able to help you grow. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, vision empowerment strategist and I’ve had to deal with my fair share of criticism.

Criticism isn’t always intended to find fault with you. Some criticism is constructive to help you get better at something. This kind of criticism offers a solution or is feedback that you can learn from. But when you’re reacting, it’s hard to determine if there’s anything of use for you in the comment. Like I said, you can’t think clearly when you think you’re attacked.

Here are some steps to take to respond more positively to criticism so you can take back your power.

First and foremost, don’t react. If it’s from someone who wants to manipulate you, you take back control when you don’t react to them. Also, when you stop reacting to a bully’s harassment, they lose interest.

Next, take some deep breaths. Calm yourself so you can think more clearly. Give yourself that time.

Then, consider the source. Is it a bully who loves to humiliate others or is it someone who has your best interests at heart.

Either way, assess to see if there’s any merit to the comment. Is there anything valid in what they said or is it simply their opinion? What, if anything, can you learn from the comment?

Once you’ve learned what you can, decide what to do about it. If there is some improvement you can make, figure out how you want to go about doing that. And then dismiss the comment. It’s served its purpose.  If it’s from a bully, and there’s nothing of value for you, dismiss it. Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But it can be done with practice.

When you start responding to criticism from a more empowered place, your confidence and self-esteem increase. Criticism no longer impacts you as deeply as it did. It takes practice to retrain yourself to take these steps, but it’s well worth the effort.

To be notified of future mindset videos, please like my YouTube channel.

Thank you for watching. Stay Focused.

Read the accompanying article, Is the Fear of Criticism Holding You Back?

May 052022
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Breaking chain

Fear of criticism is a frequent stumbling block when you want to change or achieve a goal. When you want to break a habit or grow as a person, others may object and find fault with your behavior. This is to manipulate you to remain the same so they won’t become uncomfortable with the changes you’re making.

Artists and creative people of all types often don’t express the fullness of their talent for fear of jealousy and being belittled. It’s not unusual to try to hide, conform or underachieve to avoid being singled out.

If the fear of criticism is affecting you, it probably stems from being unmercifully criticized as a child. You could have had adults, or other children, censure you for being too different.

Maybe bullies humiliated you, a teacher demeaned you, or you had a disapproving parent. These wounds can impact the way you view yourself and other people. It can also block your connection to the Universe, as you’re concerned that It doesn’t approve of you. But the Universe accepts you fully, as you are.  

There’s a difference between criticism, constructive criticism and feedback. The first is focusing strictly on a perceived problem. The other two identify an issue in order to seek a solution.

What You Do Doesn’t Matter

Unfortunately, a person who criticizes you is going to do so no matter what you do. This is a conclusion I came to after many years of trying to appease people around me. Criticism is what they do to make themselves feel superior and in control, and has nothing to do with you.

Remember, the best defense is a good offense. They’re attacking you, not because there’s something wrong with you, but because they feel insecure. And, take it from one who tried for years, there’s nothing you can do to reassure them. 

They’re going to condemn you, not for what you’re doing or not doing, but because of what they aren’t doing and who they are. Sadly, you can’t gain their approval. This is hard to accept, but the only thing you can do is move forward and do what you feel is right for you. The Universe completely supports you in choosing what is best for you.

Transform Your Beliefs about It

First, consider the kind of person who would be this way. It’s likely to be someone who feels vulnerable, envious or fearful and is lashing out at you. They’re trying to build themselves up by tearing you down. It doesn’t absolve them of responsibility, but when you realize it isn’t about you, it’s easier to let it go.

Second, keep reminding yourself that anyone who criticizes you is simply coming from their own point of view, opinion and issues. What they might find fault with in you is something that they might be uncomfortable with, or don’t like within themselves. They probably aren’t even seeing you clearly, but filtering their view of you through their own perceptions and misconceptions.

Third, remind yourself that you’re an adult now, and can handle the kind of criticism that might arise. You’re no longer a helpless child, and you don’t need to depend on anyone’s approval anymore. You know that everyone has as much access to achieving their dreams as you do. If they don’t, it’s not your fault or responsibility. They are every bit as much a part of the Universe as you are. They have It’s love and support, just as you do.  

Wayne Dyer said that when you achieve more, you can EXPECT to be criticized. It’s true. When you begin to achieve your dreams, then those who haven’t achieved theirs will may be bitter and want to hold you back, as well. That’s their issue, not yours. It’s okay for you to be visible now and to shine. The Universe wants that for you.

Affirmation:

I bless and release those who are not in harmony with me or my plans. The Universe accepts and approves of me fully, just as I am. I have a right to my choices and goals, and to live my life my way. The Universe guides and directs my decisions to be for my highest and best good. It completely supports me in my endeavors, providing me with all that I need.

Watch the accompanying video, How to Respond to Criticism.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Sparks of Insight

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Dec 132021
 
Sparks of Insight

If you criticize others for some reason, it says more about you than it does about them. Your criticism shows your mental filters, and what causes you discomfort or irritation. It also indicates what you criticize yourself about, because what people object to in others, they tend to object to in themselves. So when you feel tempted to criticize someone, stop and consider what the condemnation says about you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Aug 312020
 
Sparks of Insight

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember–the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”- Zig Ziglar

Sometimes people criticize you simply because they’re envious and that’s the only way they can make themselves feel better. If they put you down, somehow it elevates them and they can feel superior. When this happens, just consider the source and go about your business. It’s not your job to make them feel better. Your job is to fulfill your potential.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Oct 222018
 

Sparks of InsightIt is so easy to fall into the trap of being critical. Our society actually encourages it. When you judge another person, condition or situation, you’re limiting Universal energy from flowing through you. Judging is a false way of feeling superior or powerful. As soon as you condemn, you’ve labeled it and restricted any benefit that could come from it or to you. And many times, what you’re judging in others is what you’re critical of in yourself. When you become aware of judging any person or thing, catch yourself and stop. Realize that you may not know all the details. Lighten up with others and with yourself.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem by Acknowledging Yourself

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Sep 122018
 

A lot of people have a strong inner critic that tears them down, no matter what they do. Instead of helping you, this can undermine your confidence and motivation. To combat this critical inner voice, build yourself up by appreciating yourself and what you do. Linda-Ann will share some specific tips that will cause you to feel better about yourself and accomplish more.



Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m LAS. A lot of people have a strong inner critic. Do you? It’s a part of you who is always criticizing you and everything you do… or don’t do. It tells you that you’re not good enough, not doing enough, not accomplishing enough… just not enough.

Many of my clients have said that they just didn’t feel like they were enough. That was the way they put it, “I don’t feel like I’m enough.” Have you ever felt that way? You may think that always criticizing yourself can push you to do more, but the opposite is, in fact, true. It can actually sabotage you because it undermines your confidence and motivation. I mean, why try when it’s never enough, right?

Today, I want to give you some specific ways you can respond to the constant criticism you hear from yourself. These tips help to shift your attention to something more positive and build you up rather than tear you down. It’s something I do with my clients, both in my coaching and hypnotherapy practice.

Linda-Ann Stewart of Heartvision Consulting, vision strategist. Using my 30 years of experience as a hypnotherapist, I help women business owners and entrepreneurs align their heart with their vision, chart their course and focus on the strategies that will bring them greater success and prosperity on their terms.

When we talk, I urge them to pay attention to what has changed or improved since our last session. To what they have accomplished. Many of them first tell me nothing is different. But as they talk, they realize just how much has changed and what they have accomplished.

We focus on their progress, and by doing so, are able to build on it. It’s a simple technique of acknowledging what they’ve done, instead of focusing on what they haven’t done. When you focus on what you HAVE done, then you’re motivated to do more. You build up momentum, because you’re feeling successful. And success breeds success.

For instance, I once had a friend, Laura, who used this technique of acknowledging what she’d done. She had a strong inner critic that paralyzed her. Do you ever feel that way? She discovered a way to combat that inner critic. She’d acknowledge her small wins each day. In her journal, she’d list that she’d eaten breakfast, fed the dog, washed her dishes, etc.

These are all daily tasks that had to be done each day, right? And you might wonder why she’d write down these daily tasks shortly after she got up. But it made her feel like she’d accomplished something. It triggered the reward circuit in her brain and released pleasure chemicals into her body. It energized her to keep going and do more. It got her out of the paralysis. Sounds good, right?

I’m sure you’ve heard of a gratitude journal, where you write down things that you’re grateful for each day. Some research is now showing that doing the same thing with your accomplishments, no matter how small, can turn your mood around and make you feel more motivated. It can make you feel like you’re good enough, just like when my clients would start to acknowledge their changes. Acknowledging 3 small wins each day for 7 days can lift your self-esteem for 3 months. Wouldn’t that be great? And it’s simple to do.

Just make a commitment to recognize what you’ve done during the day. It can be in a journal form, or on your phone or calendar. You can acknowledge small achievements, like my friend Laura did, or bigger ones. But don’t just limit this to your accomplishments. Also recognize when you’ve made a small step forward. Not just that you’ve finished a project, but that you’ve worked on a small part of it. Give yourself credit for your effort, not just the results. What can you acknowledge yourself for today?

For instance, acknowledge when you declined that donut, or only had one bite of it, or had a salad for lunch. When you balanced your checkbook or paid down your credit card. Or when you made that one follow up call you’d been dreading. All of these are valid actions to celebrate.

Other items you can appreciate about yourself are your strengths, your values, and your talents. For instance, you are consistent in sending out an ezine every month. That’s something to acknowledge. Or when you fulfill a promise, to yourself or someone else, like being on time for a lunch date. Or if you’ve been wanting to draw, and finally put a pencil to paper, that’s something to be proud of.

When you begin to focus on what’s good about you and what you do, instead of what’s negative, you’ll feel better about yourself. You’re praising yourself for being who you are in your life. You’ll feel like you’re making progress, which is important. Because progress means you’re moving forward. It’s encouraging and inspiring. And isn’t that a better way to motivate yourself?

If you’d like some help in achieving your goals, apply for a complimentary Clarify Your Vision coaching consultation.

Thank you for watching. I hope to hear from you that acknowledging yourself has made you feel more motivated and enough. Take care.

Read the accompanying article, 3 Reasons to Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

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