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How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk

How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk

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We all experience negative self-talk from time to time. That criticizing, judging inner voice that tears you down, and undermines your confidence and abilities. In this video, I share a mindset shift to help you defuse that self-sabotaging habit and train your mind to support you. Watch How to Defuse Negative Self-Talk.

Transcript:

Welcome to my channel. Do you ever experience negative self-talk? You know what it sounds like, right? Things like, “I’m can’t do anything right,” “I’m not enough,” “I don’t have what it takes.”

We all attack ourselves with statements like this at some time or other. Not only are they not helpful, but they make your life more difficult, don’t they? In this video, I’d like to share a short mindset shift to help you defuse negative inner dialogue that might be undermining you.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

Negative self-talk sabotages you by discouraging you from trying something new, or from working to overcome obstacles. But those self-judgements and self-criticisms are simply opinions. They’re not facts. They come from the past, or from others who passed them onto you. Those negative statements are simply someone’s perspective, filtered through their ideas, beliefs and attitudes.

You may think that the statements might have been proven right, but that’s because you’ve trained your brain to make them right. Or make you think they’re correct. When you make unhelpful sweeping claims like this, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy. They’re not facts. They’re opinions that you’ve trained your mind to confirm for you.

When one of these statements makes its way into your awareness, realize it’s simply an opinion. Listen to it objectively. Can you learn anything from it? If not, dismiss it as a figment from the past that no longer has any validity. And replace it with a statement that is much more constructive and uplifting.

The more you substitute positive statements for negative ones, the more you’re training your brain to support your endeavors, so you can reach your highest potential.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Transformative Power of Self-Talk.

The Transformative Power of Self-Talk

The Transformative Power of Self-Talk

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“We are what we think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We are what we think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have, at your disposal, a very powerful tool that can reshape your brain and your mind, thereby transforming your life. You use it every day, consciously or unconsciously. Whether you call the process self-talk, affirmations or auto-suggestion, the results are the same. The thoughts and statements you repeat wire your brain and create your experience. 

Your Statements Change Your Brain

If your thoughts are generally positive, your brain builds neurons in areas of the brain that support motivation, constructive behaviors, and increased self-worth. However if you’re more pessimistic, the areas in your brain form more connections for anxiety, depression and self-doubt.

Your internal dialogue directs your attention, whether you habitually criticize, or deliberately boost your confidence. Your mind doesn’t distinguish or care if you use positive or negative statements. It creates the pathways you instruct it to. And those pathways then affect your thoughts, moods, actions and behaviors.

When you do something that falls short of your expectations, do you say, “I can’t to do anything right?” Or do you say, “Ok, I learned something and I’ll do better next time?” The way you talk to yourself affects how you behave. The first statement wires your brain to discourage you from trying again. The second wires you for creativity and to problem solve.

You Can Train Your Brain How to Think

You can intentionally train your mind how to think. I don’t mean tell yourself that, “I’m the greatest pianist of all time.” Your conscious mind would instantly deny that, and erase the effectiveness of the phrase. In this case, repeat something like, “My skills and abilities are improving every time I practice.”

When you choose the positive idea you want your brain to accept, make it one that is under your control and that’s believable. Repeat it over and over, out loud, flooding your brain with the statement. You need to pay attention to what you’re telling yourself so you build neurons that support your intention. By feeding your mind new, more positive statements, you’ll create new pathways in your brain that support optimism and empower your highest potential.

Affirmation:

I know the Universe wants to give me all the good I choose. I simply need to align my mind to receive that good. I am now choosing a greater good for myself and changing my brain and subconscious mind to accept it. I feed my mind with positive ideas that support healthy, happiness, and harmony. The more I focus on my good, the more good I experience.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back

Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back

As children, we often believe false ideas about ourselves that adults told us. These ideas become beliefs, and we act on them as if they were true, even though they weren’t. You can begin to rewrite those old stories, using the simple exercise in this video. Watch Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me for mindset tips.

Did you know that, as children, we believe stories about ourselves, and then act on them as if they’re true? A budding artist gets told by a teacher that she has no talent, so she abandons her passion. An elementary school teacher can’t explain math, then blames her students for being dumb when they don’t understand. In the years following, the students under perform in that subject. A frustrated parent lashes out and tells a child that they’ll never amount to anything. And the child grows up to sabotage themselves just before they’re about to succeed.

All of these opinions are demonstrably false, but the children who received them accepted the ideas were true. Then those children grew up acting on the lies, and those falsehoods became self-fulfilling prophecies. Do you carry any such stories that you believed that then became true for you?

Judgements that you’ve accepted about yourself were programmed into you earlier in life. Just because you believe them doesn’t make them accurate. I’d like to share a short, mindset exercise to help you begin to erase those lies and rewrite your story about yourself.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

Here’s the exercise. Divide a piece of paper into two columns. In the first column, write down something you’ve been believing, some judgement, some idea from childhood that’s been holding you back. Something like, “I’m not good enough.”

Beside it, in the second column, write, “That’s a lie” or “That’s a falsehood” or any other phrase that denies its validity.

Below, in the first column again, write the opposite of that false belief, such as, “I am enough.” Include comments from friends, co-workers, or even superiors that support your new idea about yourself.

Include any objective measurement that confirms this new belief. Then, in the second column, write, “This is the truth,” or “This is the fact,” or anything else that confirms it for you.

It may take some time, but this exercise will help you deconstruct childhood programming, and recognize and accept what is true about you. Keep repeating the new idea to yourself. As you do, you’ll begin acting on your new belief, which will change the course of your life for the better.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, What Stories Are You Telling Yourself That Are Holding You Back?

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself That Are Holding You Back?

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself That Are Holding You Back?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When Tammy was very young, her mother had a good friend with several children Tammy’s age and younger. When the lady would come to visit, her brood would come with her. They’d bully Tammy, play with her toys, destroy them and steal from her. When Tammy objected, the lady said that she had no right to complain, because Tammy had advantages that her children didn’t have.

This idea was reinforced several times during Tammy’s childhood. If Tammy excelled, there was often a teacher or adult who told her that she was making others, who hadn’t done as well, feel bad. As a result, the story she told herself was that if she made herself small and invisible, others would feel better.

Did it work? No. They never felt better. Tammy has worked her entire life to overcome the story that her achievements harmed others. That story derailed her in many areas of her life.

What Are Your False Stories?

Unfortunately, many times, opinions that we received from adults when we’re kids build into self-sabotaging beliefs. What false stories are you telling yourself that are holding you back? They may be ideas that an adult or friend told you when you were a child.

The ideas may not have been malicious, but simply to deal with an unfortunate or uncomfortable situation for them. And although you were never meant to take those ideas to heart, they might have impressed you deeply. Then, you created a whole false impression about yourself based on them.

Think about some of the beliefs you hold about yourself and your world that have been undermining you. Ask yourself:

  • “Where does that belief come from?”
  • “What was the intention of the person who gave it to me?”
  • “Is it actually true?”
  • “Does that belief serve a purpose now?” 
  • “If so, what?”
  • “What can I do to change it?”

Update Your Stories

When Tammy finally realized how those adults had impacted her, one way she began to dismantle the story was to ask herself, “What kind of adult says those things to a child?” That helped her realize that the adults were being unreasonable and cruel to her. The adults were trying to protect their kids, or other children, at her expense.

When you’re able to realize your self-sabotaging beliefs were often based on someone else’s frustration,  inadequacy, or convenience, you can begin to deconstruct them. They don’t benefit you now, or reflect who you are. It’s time to dispose of them, and begin creating stories that reflect who you truly are. Develop beliefs and stories about yourself based on reality, your strengths, values and abilities, and that support your goals and aspirations.

Affirmation:

I deserve to be myself. I give myself permission let go of old, false and outdated ideas that I once accepted about myself. They never reflected who I was. The Universe loves and approves of me as I am. I now accept myself, right here and right now, knowing that who I am is enough. It is safe for me to be true to myself.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Overcome the Self-Talk Paradox

Overcome the Self-Talk Paradox

Many people have trouble using positive self-talk or affirmations, because they feel that they’re lying to themselves. They’re missing the point of what self-talk or affirmations seek to accomplish. This is the paradox concerning self-talk. When you state one idea that you immediately deny, you undermine your statement. By understanding the point of self-talk, and a tip to use it more effectively, you can overcome this contradiction, and be successful at transforming your life. Watch Overcome the Self-Talk Paradox.

Transcript:

Welcome. Some people have a problem with using self-talk, as they believe they’re lying to themselves. Do you know what I mean? For them to be able to accept their statement, they think they need to have already achieved the object, or the goal, of their statement. But they’re missing the point of what self-talk seeks to accomplish. This is a sort of imposter syndrome, and I’d like to share a reason causing it, and one way to handle the challenge.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

The purpose of self-talk is that it is directive. What that means is that it describes something you aspire to, that you want to be, have or achieve in your life. Self-talk gives your conscious, and subconscious mind, guidance as to what you are choosing for yourself. You haven’t gotten there yet, but this is something you are choosing.

If you’ve already accomplished the object of your statement, or your goal, then your self-talk is simply confirming what you presently have in your life, right? Because self-talk is aspirational, therefore you’re aspiring to something. Self-talk isn’t for something you’ve already achieved.

The way to handle the challenge of thinking that you’re lying to yourself, that reaction, is to realize it’s simply your subconscious mind bringing up old programming. Your subconscious is just trying to help you in an outdated way. Thank it for its concern, and then tell it you want it to support you in this new direction. Then repeat your self-talk declaration, with energy and determination. That will imprint your subconscious more powerfully with the transformation you want. With the direction you want to go.

Think about what that direction is, and create a self-talk statement that you can give to yourself consistently and persistently.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Please read the accompanying article, 4 Steps to Transforming Your Thoughts through Self-Talk.

Don’t Believe Everything You Tell Yourself

Don’t Believe Everything You Tell Yourself

Many of the things we tell ourselves aren’t accurate or true about us. But we still believe and act on them. They affect our lives. You have the power to change those ideas, but first you have to recognize them. Here are some questions to ask yourself to shift your perspective and create a new life. Watch Don’t Believe Everything You Tell Yourself.

Transcript:

Welcome. Today, I’d like to discuss self-talk and how it affects your life. And what you can do to improve the things you tell yourself so your life changes.

We tend to believe what we tell ourselves, good or bad, don’t we? And then we act on that belief, whether it’s true or not. The majority of what you believe about yourself was likely accepted when you were young and you don’t notice it much anymore. But it has the power to undermine you and affect your actions. Ask any athlete. What they tell themselves about their performance affects it. But how much of what you tell yourself is actually true?

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

In my hypnotherapy practice, I helped people change what they told themselves, and their behaviors began to change as well. When you were a child, were you told you were klutzy, and now you trip over your own feet? What if that was a comment that was made during a single event and you took it to heart?

Too many times, as children, we believe something that was said to us and then we make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. And it affects us for the rest of our lives.

This happens when we’re adults, as well. For instance, also as a hypnotherapist, I worked with many smokers who told themselves they couldn’t quit. Their subconscious accepted that as fact, and no matter what they tried, they never succeeded at quitting smoking. When they came to me, one of the first things we addressed was dismantling that false belief. Only then could they be successful at stopping smoking. What idea have you accepted as an adult that you want to change?

Don’t believe everything you tell yourself, because many times those thoughts and their subsequent beliefs are wrong. They were created a long time ago, and no longer apply. What if you changed the unproductive things you told yourself to something more uplifting and constructive? Your subconscious would begin to accept those statements as true, and adjust your beliefs and actions accordingly. What could that change in your life?

  • What thought or belief can you now assess in a new light, from a new perspective?
  • And how can you change it so that it supports the life you want?

Start today, and focus on one area of your life. Be deliberate in the way you talk to yourself, and watch how your life changes. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Please read the accompanying article, 4 Steps to Transforming Your Thoughts through Self-Talk.

How to Turn Failure into Success

How to Turn Failure into Success

If you’re working to change a habit, learn a skill or build a business, you’re going to fail at some point. No one likes it, but it’s part of the process. This simple mindset shift will help you to overcome the disappointment and turn that failure into success. Watch How to Turn Failure into Success.

Transcript:

Welcome. In today’s video, I’d like to share a mindset tip on how to handle failure and cultivate success.

No one likes to fail, do they? But no one who succeeds hasn’t failed at their endeavor, at least once. Whether it’s changing habits, learning a skill, or building a business, everyone has setbacks, right?

It’s well known that while inventing the light bulb, Edison failed to find the right filament thousands of times. Instead of letting it defeat him, he said, “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways it will not work.” What a way to think about it!

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus mentor, writer and hypnotherapist. These videos are dedicated to empower you to focus and align your heart with your vision so you can achieve your goals.

Inventors and entrepreneurs fail frequently, as do those learning skills and those who want to change habits. They fail before they find success. Any “overnight success” has been at work at it for a long time. Along the way, they’ve learned valuable lessons that they’ve built on. Ways they discovered didn’t work, or needed to be tweaked.

Anyone who has achieved a goal or learned a skill or changed a habit has had mistakes and setbacks. It’s part of the process of learning, growing and discovery. If you haven’t failed, it will be harder to maintain your success, because you won’t have learned as much. Failure encourages resourcefulness.

My mindset tip for you is that if you fail, at anything, in your personal or professional life, learn what you can from it. Integrate that knowledge, and then say, “Next.” Take your next step. Each step you take will bring you closer to the success you seek if you persist, keep learning and stay focused on your goal and vision. Learn and say, “Next.”

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you’d like to be notified when I release more videos on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel and click on the bell. As always, stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Failure: The Great Teacher.

Mindset, the First Step to Success

Mindset, the First Step to Success

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Steps to Success

When you want to move towards a goal, which comes first, action or mindset? Many coaches  advise you to get into action as quickly as you can. They say that swirling around in planning can suck the life out of a project, which is true. They also say that you’ll build your mindset as your actions are successful.

But if action was the first step to fulfill your vision, then everyone who did it would be successful. So many people jump into motion without considering where they’re starting and where they’re headed.

If mindset wasn’t important, then every person who started a business, quit smoking or set a goal would have been successful by simply taking action. And you know that isn’t the case. The vast majority of people don’t achieve their goals and their businesses fail. In fact, according to Bloomberg, 8 out of 10 businesses fail. Some of the failures are due to not taking action, but most of them are related to a mindset issue.

What Your Mindset Is Composed of

Your mindset is a combination of thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about your vision. It frames your mental patterns about your life and your goal. Because you filter your world through your mindset, it also affects the way you respond to situations. The Law of Attraction operates through your mindset by drawing to you what you mainly think about. Just take a look at your life to see what the tendency of your mindset has been.

Your mindset has to be in alignment with your vision if you want to be successful in any area of life. Along with focus, it spurs your actions. By influencing the decisions you make, it can prevent you from taking action due to a fear of failure or success. To confirm some old concept about yourself, or success, it can also promote wrong action.

Without the right mindset, you could avoid following through with clients or making behavior changes that would improve your life. The wrong mindset is like dragging a 100 pound anchor behind you. You might be able to keep moving, but it’s exhausting and you’ll soon give up. Your mindset is your motivation to move forward, and action is the result.

How Your Mindset Obstructs You and What to Do

Do you have a focused mindset or does it vacillate day to day? An inconsistent mindset produces erratic actions, which leads to failed results. There are several ways your mindset interferes with your actions.

1. You don’t want to do the work. Instead of accepting a step by step approach, you want your vision to magically appear in your life. To remedy this, decide how important what you want is to you. If it’s off the charts, then get started on the consistent actions you need to take.  

2. You don’t want to step out of your comfort zone. Even though you’re not happy where you are, you’re not motivated enough to take the actions necessary to get to where you want to be. The only way to grow is to step into areas that feel scary and unfamiliar. Realize that fear is a normal response to the unknown.

3. You want to avoid pain. Change is difficult. Often you have to let go of ideas and behaviors that have been part of you for a long time. The discomfort will only last a short time. Accept that the benefits of your vision outweigh the pinch of releasing a mindset that no longer works for you.

4. You’re afraid of how the result will affect you and your loved ones. One of the side effects may be that you change the way they think of yourself and your world. And once you’ve accomplished your aim, you fear how others may feel about it. After you realize your vision, your whole world will improve and you’ll feel better about yourself. And the loved ones who are truly on your side will be supportive of your accomplishment.

5. You lack commitment to your vision. You’re ambivalent about whether or not you want to move forward. Many times, you’ll get close to accomplishing your goal, only to back away from it. The next time you’re on the threshold, understand that the fear is simply trying to keep you safe. Step through the doorway and keep going.

How to Move Forward

Once you’ve addressed your mindset and gotten it to support your endeavors, start taking small, consistent actions. This convinces your subconscious that you truly want your vision. Then the Law of Attraction will be successful in drawing possibilities to you. Taking action also builds momentum that helps you stay on course. Only by establishing your vision, and being consistent in your mindset, will you be able to take effective action. Your mindset plus your actions results in success.

Affirmation:

I release any idea, thought or belief that has undermined the accomplishment of my vision for my life. I fully commit myself to moving forward towards my vision. I attract all that I need for the fulfillment of my goals and vision. I deserve it and the Universe completely supports my endeavors.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

If you criticize others for some reason, it says more about you than it does about them. Your criticism shows your mental filters, and what causes you discomfort or irritation. It also indicates what you criticize yourself about, because what people object to in others, they tend to object to in themselves. So when you feel tempted to criticize someone, stop and consider what the condemnation says about you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

What does success mean to your subconscious mind? It may not be what it means to your conscious mind. Sometimes, if you have an old concept of feeling ineffective, the subconscious will consider it a success if you reinforce that old idea. Your subconscious seeks to reinforce your old self-image, making it “right.” So what is your self-image concerning success? Do you need to update it?

~ Linda-Ann Stewart