“No part of my mind is affected by others’ negativity. I remain connected with my True Self. I recognize that they have their own issues, and those problems have nothing to do with me. ”
So many times, you’re influenced by other people’s negative moods. It can be hard not to be, and it’s tempting to try to change them so that you feel better. But they have a right to feel bad, and they have to learn how to work their way through it for themselves. It’s their issue, not yours. Many times, trying to change their mind will just make the problem last longer or get worse. Detach from it (and them, if you need to), let them have their mood, and don’t let yourself get caught up in it.
How to Use Positive Reframe Strategies for Stress Relief
Reframing means that you look at a situation from a different perspective. When you shift the way you think about a situation, it changes your emotions and attitude about it, bringing a sense of relief and lightness. This article includes 4 ways shift your outlook and ease your stress.
What to Do When You Just Can’t Make the Decision
Do you sometimes find it hard to make a decision? It’s tough when there are so many choices and you get confused by them. Learn 5 ways to improve your decision making skills that will help make it easier to make a choice that is best for you.
The Successful Optimist
The language you use makes a difference because when you explain things in a positive way, you’re more likely to get what you wanted. But optimists aren’t born. They develop that way over years and you can learn how to be an optimist. Discover how just making a couple of tweaks to your words and attitude can start changing you from a pessimist to an optimist.
Are you believing the excuses you’re telling yourself? These are the reasons why you aren’t going after what it is you want or taking an action that will move your forward to your dream. You may think that it’s a valid reason, but generally, it’s not. It’s simply a way to keep you in your comfort zone and from doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Learn how you can stop believing your excuses and start creating ones that support your goals.
Transcript:
Are you believing the excuses you’re telling yourself? These are the reasons why you aren’t going after what it is you want or taking an action that will move you forward to a goal or dream. You may think that it’s a valid reason, but generally, it’s not. It’s simply a way to keep you in your comfort zone and from doing something that makes you uncomfortable.
I’ve been a hypnotherapist for almost 30 years. Clients came to me to create change in their lives. They might want to stop smoking, lose weight, feel better about themselves, or reduce their stress, and they hadn’t been able to do it on their own. And much of those reasons were because the things that they were telling themselves about it. So one of my tasks was to de-hypnotize them of those incorrect/false beliefs. Think about that. And many of those beliefs were wrapped in excuses. I’d like to touch on how you can stop believing your excuses so you can have a freer, happier and more successful life.
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, Heartvision Consulting. I’m a vision strategist and help women entrepreneurs align their heart with their vision. As a hypnotherapist and coach, I’ve helped clients achieve their goals. Now, as a vision strategist coach, I help women entrepreneurs who are stuck, scattered and tired of being run ragged by their business to align their heart with their vision, get clear, focused and accelerate their business to the next level.
.
One of the things I do is help them to recognize their excuses and what they’re believing that’s holding them in that self-sabotaging feedback loop. It’s the same type of cycle you get into when you find yourself making excuses why you don’t…. go to the gym, refuse that cookie, make that follow up phone call, finish your project on time, stand up for yourself …. Fill in the blank. Those excuses become self-fulfilling prophecies.
You tell yourself why you can’t do something/aren’t doing it this time. If you keep telling yourself that same idea, it becomes a belief, and then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Without realizing it, you’re making sure that belief becomes true, which just confirms it for you. That’s the feedback loop you have to de-hypnotize yourself from and break.
For instance, I had a client come in to reduce stress. One of her complaints was that she didn’t have enough time and get everything done in her work. That’s a common enough complaint, isn’t it? Do you have it? There’s so much to do that we just run out of time and energy to get it all done, right? And you can’t do anything about that, right? Time is finite, right? Well… that’s a belief. And believing it means that your actions will make it into a reality. Bear with me.
My client and I worked to deal with some of her issues to reduce stress and this was one of the big ones. I gave her the suggestion that she was able to get twice as much done in half the amount of time. A bit of an exaggeration, but… she found that she got creative. She figured out how to ditch some of the things she really didn’t need to be concerned with and how to streamline others. Within a short time, my client was able to get all her work done with time to spare.
What excuses are you turning into beliefs and making real? What are you preventing yourself from having? The mind is very creative when you give it a goal, whether that idea is good, bad or indifferent. Belief becomes a goal. With my client, we just had to de-hypnotize her of the false belief and then get her mind focused on a new idea so it would figure out how to make it real.
For you to overcome your excuses, you have be become aware of them. Notice what you tell yourself whenever you’re avoiding something, or telling yourself “I can’t.” Those are 2 signs of an excuse coming on. Confront and challenge your excuse. Why do you think it’s true? When might it not be true? What can you do to undo it?
These are all things that I help a client with. But you can do it for yourself. When you de-hypnotize yourself of false beliefs, and start to focus on ones you want to be true, you’ll make them real. It takes some dedication, stay focused, but you can do it.
If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.
Thank you for watching. I hope you’ve gotten some encouragement and direction to support yourself in your quest for your goals and dreams.
What are you doing to show yourself that you matter? Are you indulging yourself with self-pity, not standing up for yourself, eating too much, indulging in unhealthy substances, etc.? Or are you making sure you get enough sleep, exercise, eat properly, socialize with people who treat you well? If you don’t care for yourself, why would anyone else? Life treats you the way that you treat yourself. Take steps that show you that your health, well-being and peace of mind is important. Only when you treat yourself as if you count will Life reflect that attitude.
Caroline was a massage therapist who worked in a spa. The spa did all the marketing and scheduled her clients for her, and paid her per client. But Caroline thought she could have more freedom and get more clients on her own. She left the spa, and opened her own office.
But she discovered that she hated the administrative chores the spa had done for her, such as scheduling, paying utilities, and marketing. This caused her to be chronically forgetful. She’d forget to take business cards when networking, pay her bills, or write down appointments, which caused her to miss them. Although her clients knew and liked her, they learned not to trust her and they went elsewhere. Because of her refusal to work on the details of her business, she made less than she had at the spa.
Finally, one of her friends confronted her and said that Caroline’s excuses were clues she was leaving herself. Caroline realized that she really just wanted to give massages. She gave up her business and returned to the spa, where she could let others handle the tasks she despised. She needed the structure the spa gave her. Even though she was giving up control, she was gaining the freedom she’d craved.
Do you chronically defend yourself, to yourself or others about why you didn’t do what you had agreed to do? At your core, you just didn’t want to do whatever it was. Something within you was preventing it. You’re giving yourself a message that you haven’t listened to yet.
When you use excuses, you’re giving the Law of Attraction conflicting information. On one side, you’ve agreed to something, and on the other, you are reluctant to follow through. By not being clear, the Law of Attraction won’t know what you really want. You’ll just idle in neutral until you decide which way you really want to go.
There are times when excuses are valid. For example, if you had a flat tire on the way to work. Or an important phone call delayed your leaving for an appointment. Events that are unexpected and unavoidable are legitimate reasons why you weren’t able to fulfill a promise. But the question to ask yourself is, are your explanations reasonable or are they just trying to get you out of trouble?
The stories you tell yourself are hints as to how motivated you are to achieve your goals, dreams and vision. They may be telling you how you feel about your commitment or your direction. Here are some of the possible messages your excuses are communicating:
Fear. You’re afraid of the next step or where it may take you. Or you’re not confident that you know how to accomplish your task, goal or agreement. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Generally, when you bring the fear into your awareness, you realize it has little validity. Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to gain that confidence?” It could be something as simple as learning a new skill.
Not the right goal/dream/vision. You could be going in the wrong direction. Or your task, vision or your motivation to achieve it isn’t strong enough. When you find yourself not taking the actions you need to, ask yourself if you’re ambivalent over your goal. If there’s a part of you holding back, you need to address its concerns. Are you really committed to your dream or vision? If not, choose another one or scale back on your current one.
It’s a “should.” You think you “should” want a particular goal. Others have told you that it’s the right one for you. But it doesn’t really resonate with you, or you felt pressured into doing it. This one is especially true when you’ve agreed to do something you really didn’t want to do, such as participate in a charity event. Is it really your priority, or someone else’s? To simplify your life, decline someone else’s objective for you and focus on what you really want
These are just a few of the excuses we make. The only way you’re going to fulfill your goals is if you transcend your excuses. Listen to the message they’re telling you. When you hear it, and change your responses, you’ll be happier and on track to your dream.
Affirmation:
I now become aware of the excuses I make. I realize that they’re giving me powerful messages about what’s holding me back. Since the Universe only wants the best for me, it must be my beliefs and attitudes that are sabotaging me. By understanding the messages I’m giving myself, I’m able to change my beliefs and thus change my responses to support my dreams.
6 Exercises for Positive Emotions: Start Your Upward Spiral Today
Over the past few years, many researchers have found new and scientifically proven ways to increase positive emotions and well-being. The techniques described in this article have all been shown to boost positive emotions. They take some commitment, but they’re well worth the effort. Choose one, practice, and enjoy the changes.
7 Myths About Meditation Preventing You From Grasping The Amazing Benefits of Mindfulness
Meditation is becoming commonplace. But there are lots of misconceptions about it. People think mistake the goals and how to practice it. Meditation improves your concentration, self-awareness, and productivity, and your ability to show up in the world.When you’re able to better connect with yourself, you improve your relationship to yourself and others.
How to Make the Best Decision When You Have Too Many Options
Research has shown that when people are faced with too many choices, it can produce anxiety that actually makes us less likely to choose. As a result, we’re less likely to succeed. A study has the best strategy to use confronted with a large number of choices. When you’re having trouble choosing from too many options, use this technique to reduce your stress.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
Answer: Most of us do have some unconscious resistance to moving forward in some area of our lives. The challenge is to figure out what it is that’s holding us back. Who are you trying to please? What would change if you did move forward, and what would leave your life? What would you eliminate from your life with the change? They may be things that consciously you want to let go of, but they’re holding on for some purpose.
Consider what those reasons might be, even if they don’t make sense. Many times, once we discover what’s been hanging us up, it doesn’t make much sense to us in the present. Remember that the reason was created a long time ago.
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
A person can work like crazy to get ahead, have great ideas, great connections, and great opportunities, but still fail. Usually, it’s due to a negative, self-defeating attitude. Through either early training or hard knocks, they believe that nothing they do is going to succeed. Therefore, it doesn’t. They can’t contradict their expectations. Studies have shown that a person with a positive outlook will go farther and achieve more. An optimistic person seems to not only attract more opportunities, but they seem to know better how to make them pay off. And the good news is that optimists aren’t born, they’re created. With some work, you can have a better mental attitude and become an optimist.
4 Proven Ways to Bounce Back From Failure
Setbacks are normal, and are actually teaching moments. The only time you fail is when you quit trying. That said, it can be difficult to get back into the swing when you feel you swung and missed. Part of the ability to do it more easily has to do with learned behavior, and part has to do with personality. The tips in this article can help you recover, learn from the experience and try again.
Are You a Goal-Getter?
When you set a goal, you may be uncertain about your chances of success in achieving it. But you think there’s at least a good possibility for it to happen. Wouldn’t you like to increase your odds of success? This article shares 7 steps to achieving the goals you want to accomplish.
How to Program Your Mind to Kick the Bad Habit
We all have bad habits of one kind or another. Sometimes, we excuse ourselves when we try to overcome them and don’t succeed. They’re just so much a part of us and it’s hard to change them. They exist because at some time in the past they helped us. But that time is past and if you want to eliminate them, use the 3 steps in this article.
In the New Testament, Jesus told a parable about a farmer sowing seeds. Some fell on hard ground and were eaten by the birds. Still others fell on rocky soil and sprouted, but didn’t have enough soil or water to grow, and therefore died. Some fell on ground that was choked with weeds, and were able to begin to grow. But the weeds choked the life out of them. However, some fell on rich, deep soil, sprouted, were watered, and grew into plants that produced many more seeds.
These seeds are like your thoughts. Some fall on ground that is too hard to accept anything new and are eaten by those who wish us to fail. Other thoughts begin to sprout, but there’s not enough positive nourishment to allow them to expand. Still more fall into thought patterns that are choked with negativity and old ideas, and the life is choked out of the ideas. But when you’ve prepared your mind, through actions, positive focusing, and affirmations, the seeds that are sown into that ground find welcome. They are able to germinate, sprout and grow, and bring much more good into your life.
~ Linda-Ann Stewart
“No part of my mind is affected by others’ negativity. I remain connected with my True Self. I recognize that they have their own issues, and those problems have nothing to do with me. ” 
