Browsed by
Category: Article

Transform Motion Into Action

Transform Motion Into Action

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Merry go round

Cookie was a fantastic artist, and art was her passion. She had all the tools of the trade, brushes, paint, easel, palette, canvas, etc. But she didn’t paint much. Being a wife and mother took up most of her attention. But she did make time to read artist’s magazines, go to art shows and talk with people about art.

She kept her skills sharp with her imagination. Neither the mind or body can tell the difference between the imagination and reality. When she saw something she’d like to paint, she’d describe how she’d get it onto canvas to her daughter. This satisfied her creative urge. She had hundreds of unpainted pictures in her head. The problem was that they didn’t make it to canvas so other people could appreciate them.

Doing the training and foundational work to support your goal or passion is important. You also need to have focus and know where you’re going. Without knowing how to draw, mix colors or compose the picture, an aspiring artist could start throwing paint onto a canvas and have it look nothing like they wanted. Working towards a goal, you could splash around great energy and enthusiasm, but create nothing worthwhile.

The Difference Between Motion and Action

Don’t confuse motion with action. Motion is when you do busy work that causes you to procrastinate taking action. You could spend your life in motion, like walking on a treadmill trying to get to China, but never get anywhere. It will build muscle and endurance but won’t get you where you want to go. Motion activities can be helpful, like when Cookie read her artist’s magazines. It creates a structure, supports your goal and can motivate you. But motion won’t translate into momentum.

When you have a goal, don’t get stuck in thinking, planning, organizing, and strategy. They’re motion related and all vital and necessary. But if they become all that you do, you’ll get stuck on the treadmill and never achieve your goal. They create the form for the Universe to flow into, once you act on them, by themselves, they accomplish nothing.

Visualizing your goal, and how you’d feel when you achieve it, is important. But it can also distract and derail you, as it did Cookie. It could fulfill your desire to accomplish it without actually making any headway. To remedy this, make sure you stay motivated. If you have a hard time converting from the planning stage to the action phase, remember your why you’re doing this. Why do you want this goal? What will it do for you? What will change in your life? These answers can inspire you forward.

When to Take Action

When you’ve done all you can with your planning, take some action. You may not know yet what to do, but getting moving in a direction will ground your decision. This isn’t just motion, throwing paint on the canvas. You’ve set the groundwork. Now it’s time to build some momentum. It communicates to your inner mind that you’re ready to move forward. Action also makes your goal more real and believable to you.

Maxwell Maltz, author of “Psychocybernetics,” said “Your automatic guidance system cannot guide you when you’re standing still.” You’ll be guided when you have your goal, steps and planning in place, motivation, and take action. Even if nothing happens immediately, because  you’ve dedicated yourself to your goal, you’ll be Divinely guided to contacts, opportunities or information that you need. Action also intensifies the energy of the Law of Attraction.

All of Cookie’s motion activities finally resulted in her getting into action after her daughter grew up. Eventually, she joined a group of producing artists. In that supportive environment, she began painting again. She created dozens of beautiful paintings that will be loved for years to come.

Motion activities, such as training, strategizing and planning, build the foundation and framework for you. You can use them to inspire motivation to get you into action towards your goal. And once you’re in action, you’ll gather steam and momentum. Are you ready to move towards your dreams? Then take that first step now.

Affirmation:

I accept that my talents and abilities are gifts I need to develop. They are innate and need to be shaped and molded so that they can create a beautiful life vision. Once I’ve done my foundational work, I start taking action. My efforts are Divinely guided, and everything I need for success is now provided.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

Is the Fear of Criticism Holding You Back?

Is the Fear of Criticism Holding You Back?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Breaking chain

Fear of criticism is a frequent stumbling block when you want to change or achieve a goal. When you want to break a habit or grow as a person, others may object and find fault with your behavior. This is to manipulate you to remain the same so they won’t become uncomfortable with the changes you’re making.

Artists and creative people of all types often don’t express the fullness of their talent for fear of jealousy and being belittled. It’s not unusual to try to hide, conform or underachieve to avoid being singled out.

If the fear of criticism is affecting you, it probably stems from being unmercifully criticized as a child. You could have had adults, or other children, censure you for being too different.

Maybe bullies humiliated you, a teacher demeaned you, or you had a disapproving parent. These wounds can impact the way you view yourself and other people. It can also block your connection to the Universe, as you’re concerned that It doesn’t approve of you. But the Universe accepts you fully, as you are.  

There’s a difference between criticism, constructive criticism and feedback. The first is focusing strictly on a perceived problem. The other two identify an issue in order to seek a solution.

What You Do Doesn’t Matter

Unfortunately, a person who criticizes you is going to do so no matter what you do. This is a conclusion I came to after many years of trying to appease people around me. Criticism is what they do to make themselves feel superior and in control, and has nothing to do with you.

Remember, the best defense is a good offense. They’re attacking you, not because there’s something wrong with you, but because they feel insecure. And, take it from one who tried for years, there’s nothing you can do to reassure them. 

They’re going to condemn you, not for what you’re doing or not doing, but because of what they aren’t doing and who they are. Sadly, you can’t gain their approval. This is hard to accept, but the only thing you can do is move forward and do what you feel is right for you. The Universe completely supports you in choosing what is best for you.

Transform Your Beliefs about It

First, consider the kind of person who would be this way. It’s likely to be someone who feels vulnerable, envious or fearful and is lashing out at you. They’re trying to build themselves up by tearing you down. It doesn’t absolve them of responsibility, but when you realize it isn’t about you, it’s easier to let it go.

Second, keep reminding yourself that anyone who criticizes you is simply coming from their own point of view, opinion and issues. What they might find fault with in you is something that they might be uncomfortable with, or don’t like within themselves. They probably aren’t even seeing you clearly, but filtering their view of you through their own perceptions and misconceptions.

Third, remind yourself that you’re an adult now, and can handle the kind of criticism that might arise. You’re no longer a helpless child, and you don’t need to depend on anyone’s approval anymore. You know that everyone has as much access to achieving their dreams as you do. If they don’t, it’s not your fault or responsibility. They are every bit as much a part of the Universe as you are. They have It’s love and support, just as you do.  

Wayne Dyer said that when you achieve more, you can EXPECT to be criticized. It’s true. When you begin to achieve your dreams, then those who haven’t achieved theirs will may be bitter and want to hold you back, as well. That’s their issue, not yours. It’s okay for you to be visible now and to shine. The Universe wants that for you.

Affirmation:

I bless and release those who are not in harmony with me or my plans. The Universe accepts and approves of me fully, just as I am. I have a right to my choices and goals, and to live my life my way. The Universe guides and directs my decisions to be for my highest and best good. It completely supports me in my endeavors, providing me with all that I need.

Watch the accompanying video, How to Respond to Criticism.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

Is Your Attention on Your Intention?

Is Your Attention on Your Intention?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Where are you putting your attention? Is it on your intention, vision or what you want to create in your life? There’s an expression, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Whatever you’re focusing on will be the direction your energy will go, whether it’s towards your dream or away from it. This is true whether you want to start a new habit of meditating every day, write more, or follow up on leads for your business. Is your attention on what you want or do you get sidetracked?

To achieve your goal, you need to have a plan and benchmarks to follow. But you may get distracted or scattered as you try to act on them. It’s inevitable that crises will happen and unexpected tasks get shoved into your schedule. This only becomes a problem if these issues become chronic. Your subconscious may have been trained to keep you off track by creating problems. The solution is to refocus on what’s really important first and deal with the unexpected later in the day.

Establish Your Priorities

A plan is necessary and you have to work your plan to achieve success. Establishing your priorities is an integral part of fulfilling your intention. You have to make your next step or goal your primary mission each day. If you don’t, you’ll allow life’s diversions to pull you off course. It all depends on where you put your focus. Because wherever you put your attention makes that task or situation your priority.

For instance, let’s say you want to finish a project. But when the phone rings, you answer it, interrupting your work. By answering, you’ve allowed your phone to take precedence over your task. And you give your subconscious the message that the call is more important than your project. That means your subconscious will create more interruptions because it follows your lead.

On a personal level, you may want to lose weight. But you’re tempted by indulging in a bowl of ice cream. If you decide to eat the ice cream, your attention has shifted from weight loss to treating yourself. You’ve made pampering yourself your priority and have undermined your intention of losing weight. Do this more than a couple of times in a short time frame and you’ll create a habit that will destroy your original goal.

Your Intentions Are Important

In a professional capacity, many people will set their interests aside to help a coworker work on a report. The coworker is capable of doing it by themself, but they want help. Instead of taking the responsibility of handling it, the coworker finds someone to assist or support them.

Unfortunately, the person who has agreed to help ignores their own priorities to fulfill the other person’s goal. In helping, they’re acting on someone else’s agenda and not attending to their own. This occurs when you don’t let the phone go to voicemail, frequently check your email or don’t put a sign on your door saying, “Do Not Disturb,” when you need to complete a project. When you don’t focus on and stand up for your intention, then you allow another person’s goal to take precedence over yours.

Focus on Your Priorities

In general, women especially tend to put other people’s wants ahead of their well-being. Their focus is to try to make sure everyone else is happy and satisfied before they address their own intentions.  They forget that others are just as capable of fulfilling their own desires.

How often do you give an employee a task or train a coworker and say to yourself, “It would be easier and faster to do it myself?” When you fall into this trap of doing the work yourself, you’re telling them that you don’t believe they can do their job. You’re also instructing your subconscious to keep you overwhelmed. Again, you’re setting aside your priorities to handle someone else’s.

When you give your employee a task and allow them to complete it, you’re helping to build their confidence. Once trained, a coworker will be able to take some responsibility off your shoulders. This will give you more time to focus on your priorities.

How to Be Intentional

Every day, you have hundreds of decisions to make. Many of those have to do with your intention, vision or dream. To stay focused on it, you have to stay conscious and mindful, and not fall into the trap of just reacting to whatever shows up. Whenever you have something unexpected occur, ask yourself, “Is this someone else’s agenda?” and “Will this interfere with my intention?”

If the answer to these questions is, “Yes,” then you have to choose what’s more important, your intention or theirs. But remember, the only way you’ll be able to fulfill your dream is to keep your attention on your intention.

Affirmation:

The Universe supports me in all my endeavors.  I keep my intention in mind at all times. Whenever anything unexpected takes place, I stay conscious and mindful and make decisions that support my intention. I realize that everyone has the ability to take care of their own challenges. By attending to my agenda, I’m empowered and empower others to handle their own.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

4 Ways You Sabotage Yourself (and how to deal with them)

4 Ways You Sabotage Yourself (and how to deal with them)

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Do you want to lose weight, change a habit, learn a skill, or build a business? When you have a goal, and you’re not making any headway towards accomplishing it, you could be unconsciously sabotaging yourself. This is frustrating and discouraging, especially if you don’t know what’s preventing your progress.

If this is true for you, you’re probably making decisions that worked for you in the past, but haven’t been updated. Those old ideas aren’t helping you to grow, expand or to achieve your vision. Instead of acting unconsciously, the solution is to be more deliberate about your choices.

Overcome Self-Sabotage

Here are some common ways you sabotage yourself and how to overcome them.

1. You crave freedom. You don’t want to be limited by routine or structure and you seek to be spontaneous. Although spontaneity is important to enrich your personal life, it can undermine your professional goals. Impulsiveness causes you to follow whatever idea is uppermost in your mind at the time. This brings chaos and confuses the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction acts on what you focus on. When you’re not focused, the Law won’t know what to bring you. Unfortunately, spontaneity is the opposite of consistency, which is necessary for success.

Instead of winging it, create a structure and plan for yourself. Routine serves the purpose of freeing your mind to be more spontaneous in other areas of your life. Create a plan of what you’re going to do the next day. This gives the Law of Attraction the instruction of what you want. Allow time and space for the unexpected to take place.

2. You react to situations. When you react to a situation, you act in the same way you’ve done in the past. This doesn’t serve you when you want to change your future. You can’t do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. The only way to receive a different outcome is to change the way you think about the situation and act towards it. When you change the way you think, the Law of Attraction can change your experience.

Instead of reacting, consciously choose how to respond. If the situation happens often, you’ll want to plan your action ahead of time. Then, when it happens the next time, take a few deep breaths before you respond. When you think through an action, either before or at the time, you’re coming from place of power. When you feel empowered, you have more of a connection to the Universe.

3. You give up after a setback. If you fall off your diet, you might be discouraged and abandon your diet altogether. When you hit a block while learning to play the piano, you quit. Setbacks are going to happen. They’re a gift from the Universe. Two steps forward and one back allow you to solidify progress. Setbacks are also the way you discover what doesn’t work and help you to figure out what will succeed.

Setbacks don’t obstruct you unless you let them. Instead, they can be stepping stones. Since they are going to arise, plan for what you’ll do when they do. What would be the common setbacks you will experience? Decide on specific actions to take, or statements you’ll repeat to yourself to keep you on course. Your determination and commitment energizes the Law of Attraction, making it easier for it to perform for you.

4. You procrastinate. Procrastination is generally triggered by fear. You don’t know how to do a task, you dread the tedium, you’re concerned that it won’t be good enough and so you resist beginning it. Because of that, you wait until the last minute to attend to the project. This is stressful, and because you delayed, you rarely can give it your best effort. Also, stress blocks access to your intuition and guidance from the Universe.

You may have to force yourself, but do one tiny chore concerning the project. Just start with a single action. Decide to spend five minutes on it each day. Taking small steps will build up momentum, and you’ll whittle away at the task. Very quickly, it won’t seem so difficult, and you’ll find it easier to complete it. Now that you’re not resisting, you’re more in the flow of inspiration from the Universe.

By deliberately changing your responses, you take charge of your life. This empowers you with greater freedom, creativity, success and peace of mind.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me. I let go of old ideas and reactions, as they no longer serve me. I open my mind and heart to the Universe to guide and direct my every thought and action. As I stay mindful of my responses, I stay in the flow of Universal Good. Changing my thoughts, changes my actions, and thus changes my life.

Watch the accompanying article, How to Stick to Your Goals.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

7 Ways You Sabotage Your Goals

7 Ways You Sabotage Your Goals

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Reach Goal

All you have to do to find out what your priorities have been is to look at your life. It’s a perfect reflection of your thoughts, beliefs, and choices. If you’re an entrepreneur and don’t have enough income, where have you been putting your energy? Has it gone into checking your email all day long or into promoting your business? Being out of shape means that watching TV, surfing the internet, or eating junk food have been more important to you than exercising.

Everything you have in your life is a result of  your past choices. You make decisions each day and then act on them. When you’re hungry, you can reach for a cupcake or have an apple. If you eat a cupcake for a snack every day, you’ll probably gain weight. Munching on the apple means you’ll have  better health. All the choices you make have consequences, either good or bad.

Change Your Choices

If you want something different in your life, you’ll need to start making different choices and following them through with a plan of action. To lose weight, reduce your calorie intake, portion sizes and increase your exercise. For more business, take action to become more visible and let people know about your product or service. 

Decisions are made in different ways, for different reasons, and not always consciously. Unfortunately, sometimes the actions you take sabotage what you really want. Learning to identify how your decisions are made can make the difference between success and failure. Once you become more aware of what prompts your decisions, you can formulate strategies to keep you on track and make decisions that will move you forward.

When Your Choices Sabotage Your Goals

Choices can sabotage you when they’re made:

1. Unconsciously. You could simply be acting out of a habit you created in the past. Although, you have the best of intentions, you fall into old patterns that undermine your goals. What can you do to break that habit and create a new one that supports your vision?

2. Based on past programming. For instance, you accepted ideas from people who told you that you wouldn’t be successful. By continuing to act on this, you’re limiting yourself for no reason. They didn’t know or couldn’t recognize your potential. Reassess them and reprogram your beliefs.

3. To avoid uncomfortable emotions. Change can be threatening. Achieving your goal could bring up outdated beliefs that don’t want to let go. So you choose the path of least resistance to keep from confronting those ideas. You have to decide which is most important to you, continued comfort or facing your fears.

4. Due to procrastination. This is similar to the last one. Once you move forward, you’re going to be in uncharted territory. You could be risking failure, criticism, or more responsibility. Find out why you procrastinate and develop a way of handling it.

5. Because you didn’t make a choice. You decided to put off making a decision. But not making a choice is a choice in itself. You’ve simply chosen not to change or take any action towards your goal. What do you need to do to decide to take action?

6. Trying to change too much all at once. Some people dive in and try to change their entire lives at one time. If you aren’t forced to do this, through divorce or some other trauma, don’t overwhelm yourself. The subconscious doesn’t like to change too much at one time. Take one area and work on it until it’s underway, then start on another.

7. From a sense of overwhelm or stress. Unfortunately, decisions made under duress are rarely for the best. They usually are made in reaction to outside circumstances and not well thought out. Step back, take a deep breath, and assess the situation before you make a choice.

Make Your Choices Work For You

Once you recognize how you make decisions, you can create a plan to keep you on the path to your goal. You simply break the old habit by establishing a new one.

You want to be able to consciously make decisions. The only way to be effective at achieving your goals is to know your target and aim for it. Some people weigh the pros and cons, and some decide what feels right. Whatever way you make choices, be aware of what you want and make a plan. Then stay on track and work your plan. And each day, make sure your choices support your endeavor.

Affirmation:

The Universe is always supporting my endeavors. It wants me to be abundant and successful. I am always Divinely guided. When I have a goal, I create a plan to achieve it. Any resistance to moving forward is now dissolved. It no longer serves a purpose. I commit myself to my goal and work my plan every day.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

5 Tips to Maintain Your Motivation

5 Tips to Maintain Your Motivation

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

There’s a saying that you can only motivate yourself. You have to supply the desire for an improvement to make the effort to accomplish your goal. But sometimes, your determination flags and you need a boost. The good news is that you don’t always have to go it alone.

For instance, when I was facilitating smoking cessation classes for the county health department, I had a reputation for being very motivating. Once someone had convinced themselves to commit to the classes, I found ways to encourage them to follow through.

They wanted to accomplish the difficult goal of quitting smoking and wanted group support to achieve it. The group dynamic kept them focused on their goal and gave them inspiration to keep going. But, first, they had to want to quit smoking. No one else could make them want that goal.

Motivation for a Goal

To achieve any goal, you have to be motivated and willing to make changes, put forth energy, and take action of some sort. Your motivation is the driving force and the reason you want a better outcome. No one else can provide this reason for you.

Necessity can provoke you to move forward. For instance, you have to find a job or else you won’t be able to pay your bills, and will end up indigent. Or you discover that your health is in danger unless you make some lifestyle changes. But even then, the possibility of severe difficulties in life doesn’t always motivate people to change. For many people, the danger has to be immediate. They have to feel the pain.  

So how do you develop and maintain your motivation, whether it’s something you want or need?

Ways to Stay Motivated

Have you ever gone to motivational program and been inspired? The program aroused your intrinsic desire for something better for yourself and caused you to take action. But not long after the event was over, the excitement probably wore off and your enthusiasm flagged.

Every day, you need some stimulation that will keep you motivated and on course. Here are 5 tips to fuel your drive and keep you stimulated.

1.  What’s your “why?” Uncover your big why, which is your reason and purpose for wanting your goal. What is your goal going to get or give you? How will it improve your circumstances? Get detailed. It has to be an aspiration that connects with you. Once you’ve discovered your why, keep referring back to it.

2.  Fill your mind with motivation. Read inspirational books, listen to motivational podcasts, and be around uplifting people. Study people who have accomplished what you want to achieve or who overcame obstacles similar to yours. This will add motivation to your efforts.  

3.  Get creative. When you get bored, discouraged or want to take a break, find a new way to approach the steps to your goal. For instance, change your routine. If you’re always working in your home office, go to a park. Find alternative ways to stay interested in the actions you need to take.  

4.  Acknowledge your progress. Don’t just check a task off your to do list. That feels good, of course, but to make a bigger impact, congratulate yourself on completing that step. Reward yourself. This is a powerful technique to encourage yourself to keep going.

5.  Accept support. Find an accountability or empowerment partner, and ask them to help keep you focused. This is one of the roles of a coach. People who tell a partner what they intend to do, and then report their progress, achieve their goal 76% of the time. 

The smoking cessation classes I facilitated used every one of these steps and had a great success rate. The participants needed different ways of keeping themselves motivated, just as everyone with a bold goal does. These tips will motivate, support and inspire you, too, to stay on course to your vision.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation to Stay Motivated to Achieve a Goal

Affirmation:

The Universe completely supports my goals and aspirations. It wants the best for me and knows why my goal is important. The Universe supplies me with all the inspiration and motivation I need to take action. I am Divinely guided and directed in Right Action for my goal and aspiration. My next step is made clear to me.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

What Is Your Motivation for Change?

What Is Your Motivation for Change?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Time for Change Dial

When a hypnotherapy client came into my office wanting to make a change, one of my jobs was to find out what was motivating them. Was their motivation stronger than their attachment to what they were experiencing? For instance, I’d have smokers come to me and say, “I really want to want to quit smoking.” (No, that wasn’t a typo.) They hadn’t made the commitment to quitting, even though they knew they need to. Until their determination was stronger than their attachment to their habit, nothing would happen.

Subconscious Patterns

In the subconscious mind, the strongest idea wins. When the desire to stop smoking is more powerful than continuing, then the person will quit. This is true for any change, whether it be weight management, self-esteem, success, prosperity, relationship issues or anything else. Only when the desire for the new pattern becomes stronger than the attachment to the old will change occur.

Many times, the old pattern will have more energy to begin with because it’s familiar. People tend to like to hold onto what they’re used to, because they don’t know what the change will bring with it. But as a person contemplates the advantages of the new, feels the excitement and enthusiasm about it, then the subconscious will create the pathway for the new pattern to manifest.

Tips for Change

What change do you want to make in your life? Do you want more prosperity, self-acceptance, success, a better relationship, weight management, improved health? Write down what you want. Ask yourself what keeps you where you are and write that down. What changes in behavior, attitude, or belief do you need to make for your goal to succeed?

What is it that motivates you for your goal? If it’s to meet someone else’s expectations or to impress another, that won’t be strong enough to convince the subconscious. The reason for your goal has to be deeply meaningful to you. And your motivation has to be stronger than your desire to remain in your current situation.

You must be committed to do whatever is necessary for the change. Once you’ve determined your motivation, write it down and look at it several times a day. From your list of what changes you need to make, pick one per day to add to your behaviors. Before long, you’ll have accomplished your goal.

Affirmation:

I bring to mind what it is that I want. I know that the Universe wants it for me. I discover what my motivation is for the change I desire. As I contemplate how my goal feels, I uncover other reasons to accept it. I commit myself to do whatever I need to do to accomplish my goal. I deserve it.

Loving Others Begins With Yourself

Loving Others Begins With Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Hearts

On Valentine’s Day, we show our love to the significant others’ in our lives; our husbands, partners, friends and family. But what do you do to show love for yourself? What are you doing to take care of yourself, and of your needs? Many of us have been taught to ignore our needs, that we’re selfish if we think of ourselves first. However, we’ve taken this idea too far and don’t think of ourselves at all. Charity and love begin at home, with you.

A person who does everything for everyone else, and nothing for himself/herself will eventually burn out. Ultimately, their needs will be taken care of some way, generally in a way that isn’t enjoyable. The inner self will cry out for attention, beginning with small warnings, such as a cold, tension, anxiety, or feelings of being overwhelmed. But if the inner self is ignored, it will escalate it’s demands by creating more discomfort. Many people experience some sort of health crisis because their inner self needs some consideration. The health issue could be fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, heart disease, or even cancer.

Attend to Your Needs

When you first begin to attend to your needs, you may get resistance from the people in your world. Suddenly, you’re not serving them like you’ve done in the past. They’re being forced to take responsibility for themselves. They may even call you “selfish.” Before you agree with them, evaluate whether they have an agenda for this accusation. Do they want you to do things for them, or fulfill their desires (not their needs, but their desires)?  If so, they’re trying to manipulate you to return to your old ways so that they’re more comfortable.

The challenge is to know how to balance self-love with other-love. But self-love must come first. That’s the bottom line. Your needs must be your primary concern, or else you may not be able to do for others. Your loved ones may even have to take care of you. However, once you begin to take care of your needs, you’ll actually have more energy, more life, and more love to give to others because you feel so much better.

Affirmation:

I begin to assess my needs, and know that my needs are more important than someone else’s desires. I take care of my responsibilities, but I also have a responsibility to take care of myself. I give myself permission to attend to my needs, despite any outer resistance. I remember that I’m the most important person in my world. I need to fulfill my needs so that I have more to give to others.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

The Importance of Self-Acceptance

The Importance of Self-Acceptance

by Linda-Ann Stewart

When I was fourteen, I was fitted with braces. At that age, shiny metal covering your teeth  severely impacts your self-image. Friends who’d already been fitted with braces did their best to hide them. They refused to smile and kept their mouths closed so no one would see the silver glint.

However, their attempts to hide the braces brought more attention to the fact that they were cursed with this awful dental appliance. Their self-consciousness opened the door for bullies to call them, “metal mouth.” I decided not to try to cover up the fact that I was wearing braces. After they were attached, I smiled and laughed as I normally did. Because I wasn’t embarrassed about them, bullies didn’t get any reaction teasing me, so they left me alone.

But the best response came in my typing class. Cindy sat in front of me, and at the beginning of each class, she’d turn around to chat for a few moments. Six months after I’d begun wearing the braces, as usual, she turned to say hi. She looked startled, and asked,

“When did you get braces?”

“Six months ago,” I replied.

“No, that’s impossible,” she said. “I talk to you every day, and I would have noticed.”

Except that she hadn’t noticed, because I’d accepted them as normal.

People Take Your Lead

If you don’t pay attention to your imperfections, no one else will. They’ll take your lead concerning your assessment of yourself. When you accept yourself as you are, you’re not concerned about how others perceive you. You’re not afraid of their judgements and are able to be more authentic. Because you don’t pay attention to your limitations, they’re not so apparent to other people.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for improvement. I couldn’t wait to get the braces removed and looked forward to that day. Accepting yourself means that you’re not resisting, criticizing or hating a part of yourself, all of which creates a block to improvement. Self-acceptance simply recognizes and acknowledges the reality of what is. From that perspective, you can plan how to make changes, if that’s what’s necessary.

The Opposite of Self-Acceptance

Self-rejection, which is the opposite of self-acceptance, makes you defensive. You’re sensitive about the part of you that you feel is lacking, and concerned that others will attack you over it. Because you expect to be confronted, often that’s what happens, as it did with the bullies and my friends. You might even overcompensate for what you think is a fault, by bringing it to others attention deliberately or accidentally, when it wasn’t necessary.

For instance, you’re interviewing for a job that you have the experience for, but don’t have a degree in the area. You feel insecure about the shortcoming, and your nervousness makes a bad impression on your interviewer. However, if you considered that your experience made up for no degree, your confidence would have influenced the interviewer more positively.

Benefits to Accepting Yourself

There are a lot of personal and subjective benefits for accepting yourself. These would include raising your self-esteem and self-confidence, allowing you to be more authentic in your life, enabling you to feel comfortable with yourself and more.

There are also objective benefits to self-acceptance. All of these benefits are helpful in both your personal and professional life.

You’re more open with others, so you don’t push people away. People are attracted to you and want to get to know you. Your relationships are better and deeper.

You’re able to be more present with other people. Because you’re not concerned about your imperfections, you can listen to the other person and understand what they’re saying. As a result, you have better communication and connection with them.

If others do notice your shortcomings, it doesn’t bother you. Often, they’re just curious and want some background information. And if they’re rude, it’s easier to realize that the issue is with them, not you, so you don’t take it personally.

Practice Self-Acceptance

Everyone has imperfections. Accepting them means you approach situations feeling empowered and have more resources to deal with challenges. Practice self-acceptance and notice how much freer and happier you feel.

I was thrilled to get my braces removed two months earlier than expected. But my main reason to be happy wasn’t because I was rid of the metal. I was ecstatic because I could once again have popcorn, taffy and bubble gum. And you know what? No one mentioned that the braces were gone.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I now accept myself, with all my imperfections. I feel more comfortable with myself and this communicates to the world around me. With this attitude, I can now change and improve myself. More good flows to me and through me as I open the door to a greater sense of well being.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance.

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]

The Power Of Self-Acceptance

The Power Of Self-Acceptance

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman with outstretched arms
Woman with Arms in the Air — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

You own a manual within you that contains all the wisdom, understanding and knowledge you need to resolve or heal any undesirable condition in your life. One of the most powerful tools in that manual is self-acceptance. When you accept yourself fully, you begin to release the blocks to your good and your Higher Self. This doesn’t mean that you may not want to choose to change some things about yourself. But you have to acknowledge that something exists, and accept that it is part of you before you can transform it.

I had a client who had been told that no part of her was adequate to anyone in her life. When we began working together, she was afraid I’d be offended by her past and how she’d coped. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. Because I reassured her that she had acted appropriately and understandably for her situation, she began to realize that she wasn’t a terrible person.

The Universe Accepts You

The Universe accepts you as you are. If you feel rejected or abandoned, realize that those feeling come from past experiences. This is how you feel about yourself, not how the Universe feels about you. However, you’ve believed that you deserved it, and continued to reject or abandon yourself in the present.

As the sessions with my client progressed, she was able to validate her emotions of fear, anger, and sadness as being signals to herself that something detrimental was occurring or had occurred in her life. As she accepted herself, and listened to what her feelings told her, she was able to turn her life around.

When you accept yourself, along with everything you think and feel as being proper, you start to reconnect with your Higher Self. For it is only when by cherishing yourself that you can experience the love of the Divine.

Affirmation

I now accept myself fully, knowing that the Universe accepts me as I am right now. I recognize that my perceptions, my feelings, my ideas are just right for me. I validate myself and give myself permission to be who I am. It is safe to be me. I deserve to be here. Every part of my being is loved and cherished by the Universe. Therefore, I also love and cherish myself. 

[suffusion-the-author display=’description’]