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Change Starts From Within

Change Starts From Within

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman happy she's changed

As a hypnotherapist, people come to see me professionally because they want some sort of change in their lives. Whether it’s to feel better about themselves, stop smoking, reduce weight, increase their self-confidence, improve their health, or have some other positive adjustment, they have made a choice that has brought them to my office. Together we figure out what they need to change within themselves, and what actions they need to take, to bring about the improvement in their lives.

Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don’t want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.

Change from the Inside Out

For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they’ve chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life’s challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they’ll start up again.

All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what’s wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.

Improving Self-Esteem

For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they’re not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don’t deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them.

The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.

Deal with Inner Attitudes

This doesn’t mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I’ve known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can’t pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that’s the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.

The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn’t going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren’t dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.

What Do You Need to Change?

Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, “What do I need to change within myself in order to…?” Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.

Permanent improvement in any area of life demands our making a choice for something different, begin to align our beliefs and attitudes so that the new idea is possible and desirable, and then take action to embody the new concept. All of these steps are necessary for there to be change. And when we begin to entertain the idea of change, the Universe will bring us opportunities to help it along. New people will show up in our lives, information will drop onto our desk, or some event may nudge it along. We just have to have the courage and commitment to take the leap into a brighter future.

Affirmation:

I now identify the areas of my life that I want to change and recognize what needs to happen for them to improve. I’m guided to understand what I need to change within myself to create the transformation in my life. The answer is clear. With my whole being, I’m willing to do what is necessary to improve. As I make the decision to change, the Universe supports me and brings whatever I need to help me.

Reframe to Empower Yourself

Reframe to Empower Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

"People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them." Epictetus

The way you think about a situation affects your emotions, actions and your ability to find solutions. When you look at a situation from a single perspective, you get stuck in however it’s making you feel at that moment. The situation doesn’t impact you as much as your opinion about it.

If you’re optimistic about being able to triumph over circumstances, then you’re empowered and have the ability to respond in a positive way. However, if you feel helpless, angry, or stressed, this closes down your creativity. Negative thoughts about a situation freeze your resourcefulness. Your negative emotions will keep you from being able to take actions that will benefit you. In that case, all you can do is to react in ways you’ve done before and get similar results. You’ll also limit the Universe from being able to create something good from it.

Shift Your Perspective

However, you have the power to change the way you think about any occurrence. When you look at the situation from a different angle, you open yourself up to new options and interpretations. You can do this by finding a way to reframe the incident.

Imagine you’re looking out of a window. You see the landscape from a single perspective.  Anything else outside of your view doesn’t exist. You might even judge it to be boring or threatening. Once you’ve decided your attitude towards it, then your choices, and the Universe’s, are limited.

But if you shift your position or your viewpoint in relationship to the window, suddenly you have a different angle on the scene. You notice things you didn’t before, such as beauty or support. You’ve put a different frame around the landscape. Now you have a greater appreciation for what’s there and change your conclusions.

Reframing a situation changes where you place your attention, and helps you to think differently about the conditions. When you think differently, you’re empowered to make different decisions.  Suddenly, a wider world of possibilities is available to you, and the Universe can bring you greater good.

How to Reframe a Situation

Reframing also opens the door for the subconscious to seek solutions. Your subconscious can discover new options and opportunities for you. Learning how to reframe takes a willingness to let go of your preconceived notions and entrenched attitudes. But it can pay off by not only making you feel better, but improving your approach to the circumstances.

1. Notice what’s upsetting you. The way you think about something causes you to feel an emotion. When you recognize you’re distressed, track it back to what you were originally thinking. You may become aware of an outdated idea, attitude or judgment.

2. How else can you look at the situation? Mentally, take a step back from your emotions. Challenge your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. Could there be some other interpretation? Consider a benefit that could come from the situation or what you could learn from it.

3. What’s something more positive you can tell yourself about the situation? You choose what you tell yourself about the circumstances. By taking a different inner position on the incident, you cultivate greater resources to make better decisions. If you can’t think of anything specific about the situation, use a generalized affirmation. “This, too, shall pass” or “Something wonderful comes from this” are ones I’ve used with great success.

Make Reframing a Habit

Your old ways of reacting to situations is a habit, but you can create new habits. When a circumstance arises that makes you uncomfortable, practice disputing your thoughts, beliefs and emotions about it. This breaks up old thought patterns to allow you to build new mental pathways that support your empowerment. Eventually, this process will become automatic.

Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” When you shift your position towards an event, you become aware of other options and actions you can take. As your actions change, so will the dynamics in the situation, and generally for your benefit. The Universe will have a channel to extract the good and present it to you in a way you may not expect.

Affirmation:

Whenever I experience a challenging situation, I immediately seek to find the good in it. I transform any upsetting thoughts about the circumstances into neutral or positive ideas. As I do, I allow the power of the Universe to flow through and create good from the situation. Something wonderful comes to me as a result.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Breaking the chains of outdated beliefs

When Sandy was a small child, she and her younger brother were playing in the same room. She was playing quietly with a doll, and he was pounding his truck with a rock. Her mother yelled at them to stop it, saying that they were “bad” and “destructive.” She went on to rant that they’d never receive anything good because they wouldn’t take care of it. Because of this episode, Sandy grew up believing that she didn’t deserve anything of value.

This belief had created a filter in Sandy’s life. Whenever she had an opportunity to improve her life or have something of importance, she sabotaged it. One time, she lost a precious necklace soon after she received it. Another time, after getting a promotion, she forgot a vital deadline and was demoted as a result. Her subconscious made her belief that she couldn’t be trusted into a reality.

Break with the Old Belief

One day, as she was relating the memory to a friend, she realized that her mother hadn’t been speaking to her. Suddenly, she recognized that her mother had been addressing her brother. Reassessing the situation from an adult perspective, Sandy understood her mother had been frustrated that her brother had destroyed every toy he’d gotten. Sandy’s entire belief system shifted, and she felt a surge of self-worth.

Although Sandy didn’t consciously choose the belief that she wasn’t worthy of anything good, it was one that she’d accepted before she was old enough to know better? Some of your beliefs are from single experiences that deeply impressed you, like Sandy’s. Others are hand-me-downs from your family or friends when you were too young to decide whether they were valid or not.

Your Beliefs Filter the World

For instance, you may have been a graceful dancer, but a jealous sibling or classmate told you that you were a klutz. If you accepted the judgment, from that point on you had a hard time walking without tripping over a blade of grass.

Or maybe you had a label pinned to you. Were you a strong minded child that refused to blindly follow instructions? If so, you may have been labeled a “troublemaker” by teachers and parents.  And from that point on, you put on that persona and causing trouble became your hobby.

You filter your world through your beliefs. They affect your decisions, behaviors, reactions, and actions. They also influence how you respond to people and situations and how others respond to you. Not only that, your subconscious mind makes sure that you confirm your beliefs. This is why Sandy lost the necklace, the dancer became clumsy, and the stubborn child became a troublemaker.

Assess Your Beliefs

But a belief isn’t set in stone. For instance, the incident with Sandy’s brother didn’t affect him at all. He became a truck driver with an impeccable record. A situation doesn’t create a belief. Your belief is simply an interpretation of events and your comprehension could be incorrect, as Sandy’s was. You may not have all the facts or information, just as Sandy didn’t. Your judgment is also affected by other beliefs and perceptions you have. Two different people would interpret the situation in very different ways, depending on their own experiences, perceptions and beliefs.

You can choose what to believe. If a belief isn’t working for you, then you can change it. Beliefs are created by what you focus on and accept as a reality. If you focus on a feeling of worthlessness, then that’s what you’ll believe. However, if you consciously recognize your true worth, and focus on that, you’ll start to feel deserving.

When you focus on the idea that life is a struggle, then you’ll only notice conditions that verify your belief. Choosing to believe that life can be easy and harmonious will switch your filter, and instruct your subconscious to find ways for life to flow smoother.

Are Your Beliefs Serving You?

Are your beliefs giving you the life you want or taking you where you want to go? If not, what do you need to believe to take you there? When the old belief surfaces, substitute the new one. It may feel threatening at first because you’re changing a long standing habit. But the sky won’t fall if you do.

After the old belief filter disappeared from Sandy’s mind, she got a promotion and this time she remembered her deadlines. Because she realized her value, she was able to accept value into her world. What beliefs do you choose to change so you can claim a better life?

Affirmation:

I reassess old, outdated beliefs and recognize which ones have been limiting filters for me. By identifying them and that they’re no longer useful, I take the first step to changing them. The Universe completely supports me in this endeavor. I give myself permission to change my belief to something more positive and that opens the door to success, health, harmony and abundance.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Coffee cup saying Choose Happy

Some years ago, I had a friend urge me to go write and work on my business in coffee shops. She loved to work around people, and said, “You’ll get so much done!” I unsuccessfully tried to explain to her that I couldn’t concentrate with other people around. Their activity and noise was too distracting. She never understood.

It was the classic difference between an introvert, like me, and an extrovert, like her. An extrovert loves being around people. Extroverts are buoyed up by the energy of people and ride that wave. Introverts get overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people. They might like to be around people for a short time, but then they have to go recharge in solitude. To an extrovert, being isolated would be punishment. For an introvert, it’s nirvana.

The Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts and introverts process information through different parts of the brain. For an introvert, the information has to go through more areas of the brain for them to come to a conclusion. They consider more deeply and thoroughly about a subject before they arrive at a decision.

Extroverts process information as they interact. They’re spontaneous, and like to talk a subject through or think out loud to reach an answer. While extroverts will say the first thing that comes to mind, introverts reflect about a question before they answer.

Being an introvert isn’t synonymous with being shy. I’ve known shy extroverts and outgoing introverts. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert depends on whether you get energized or depleted around groups of people and how you think. Introverts have rich inner lives, while extroverts need to be stimulated by outer experiences.

Each Type Has Value

Western society prefers and rewards extroverts, who are gregarious and risk takers. Eastern culture values introvert’s traits of reflection and seclusion. The West loves outgoing people and thinks that loners are somehow lacking in social skills. That’s not true, because introverts are much better listeners. But, in western society, introverts are often shamed and pressured to try to be like an extrovert. As a result, this decreases an introvert’s self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.

No one is fully an extrovert or introvert. It’s not either/or. It’s a spectrum. If you identify a bit with both of them, you may be an ambivert. This is someone who loves to be around people, but does need alone time afterwards to recharge.

Honor Yourself

No matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, accept your temperament and that it’s right for you. It reflects the individual that you are and what you need for your wellbeing. If you’re an extrovert, find a way to be around people in person or even virtually. However, if you’re an introvert, find your interaction limit, and give yourself permission to have alone time afterwards. 

Recognize how you gain energy, whether it’s being around people, in solitude, or a combination. Find a balance of social stimulation that works for you. Accept that how you think and process information may be different from others.

These traits aren’t learned. You’re born this way. Don’t let anyone shame or pressure you to conform to their idea of who they think you should be. Honor and respect your temperament. You’ll be happier, healthier and be able to utilize your strengths to create a life that suits you.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I recognize my strengths and use them in a positive way. I also understand that others may be different from me. As I listen to my inner self, it guides me to create balance and joy in my life. I now honor and respect myself and what I need for my wellbeing.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

What Are You Expecting?

What Are You Expecting?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine you’re at a networking meeting where you don’t know anyone. You feel out of place and just a little anxious. A nicely dressed woman walks in your direction. Uneasy, you prepare to introduce yourself and smile at her. But she never makes eye contact, walks right by and you feel snubbed.

You filtered her actions through your beliefs and expectations. Because you already felt insecure, you believed she deliberately ignored you. The truth is that she probably was focused on someone across the room that she knew and never even noticed you. But you interpreted her actions to be what you expected, which was to be ignored, rather than she just wasn’t aware of you.

We See What We Expect

As we go through life, it’s human nature to notice things that reinforce what we already believe. For example, a salesperson gets uncomfortable with a potential client being quiet during a sales conversation. The salesperson thinks the client has no interest in the product, when the client is actually trying to figure out how they can pay for the item.

Negative people seek out any information that downplays optimism being beneficial so they can validate being pessimistic. A self-confident, outgoing person expects people to like them. They believe that everyone they meet is a potential friend, and because of their attitude, most people respond to their warmth.

Expectations Shape Results

Everything in your life is filtered through what you expect and believe. Anything that disputes or questions your perceptions is demeaned or dismissed. When you have so narrow a focus, you won’t notice other ideas or opportunities that present themselves to you. Possibilities may be all around you, but since you’re not expecting them, you overlook them. And sometimes, if they’re presented to you, you rebuff them because they don’t fit into the picture you have in your mind.  

If your beliefs and expectations are the lens through which you view life, then that outlook is where your focus is. Wherever you put your attention affects your actions. For instance, when you expect an idea or project to be rejected, you don’t put a lot of effort into it. So your expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because your decisions, behaviors and actions influenced the outcome.

Change Your Filter

The way to see things differently, so your results improve, is to change the filter through which you view conditions. When you have a disappointing encounter, ask yourself the following questions.

  • What did you expect from it?
  • Was your expectation unrealistic?
  • Did you misread the situation?
  • Did your actions or inactions contribute to the outcome?
  • Were you open and accepting of other options?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?            
  • How can you change your beliefs to be more aware of opportunities?

These questions will begin to break through your mental assumptions, allowing you to consider other interpretations. As Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Change your expectations, and you’ll start seeing a whole new world of possibilities.

Affirmation:

I release limiting beliefs and expectations. They come from the past and no longer support the life I want. I now look at situations from a more objective viewpoint. Possibilities abound in my life, and I recognize opportunities when they come my way. I attract the best that Life has to offer.

Watch the complementary video, Check Your Preconceptions at the Door.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Are You Expecting Too Little?

Are You Expecting Too Little?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I was involved with someone who never kept his promises. Glenn was always late for a date and never called when he said he would. And, in this pre-cell phone era, I couldn’t call him. To reduce my frustration, I decided not to have any expectations of him. Also, I didn’t want to have my beliefs of how I thought he should act interfere in the relationship.

Unfortunately, since there were no consequences for his actions, it just encouraged his callous behavior. One day, when he was again a half-hour late, I’d had enough and I left. Later, we had a “discussion” about it and all of his other broken agreements with me. Faced with either treating me with more respect or having the relationship end, he said he’d live up to his promises.

The Problem with Low Expectations

The idea that prompted my original attitude was that when you have low expectations, then you’re delighted whenever something special comes your way. Trying to have the perfect relationship, best job, or ultimate success can keep you from enjoying the moment. You’re always living in the future, dissatisfied and unhappy in the present.

However, the attitude of,  “Don’t have any expectations. That way you’re not disappointed with what you get,”  means that you never strive to improve your life. You settle for what you have, happy with crumbs that life throws you, and don’t believe it can get any better. And with this attitude, your subconscious will only give you what it already has. It can’t give you anything more because you’re instructing it not to.

Why to Aspire for More

Aspiring for something better, and not reaching the apex, can bring disappointment. And disappointment hurts. After a failure, many people stop trying. They’re afraid to want more, and just try to be grateful for what they have. But then they don’t work hard towards anything, because why strive when they don’t believe they’ll achieve anything?

In that case, unfortunately, life responds according to our low expectations. By not expecting anything better, we don’t work for it. Being satisfied with the status quo, we don’t take any actions to stand up for ourselves. By not seeking to improve our job position, we will never put forth any effort to move up.  

But is giving up and being complacent the way to grow? Isn’t striving part of the learning process? Without moving toward a vision or a goal, then you’re not progressing. Very few people succeed the first, second or even fifth time. You learn something new with each attempt, and it makes you stronger and wiser.

Avoid Having Unrealistic Expectations

Although having unrealistic expectations can undermine the ability to achieve your goals and destroy your happiness, sensible ones can enrich your life. Working toward a realistic goal can build skills, character and get you closer to the life you want.

Wanting to lose 50 pounds in a month would be unrealistic. Deciding to reduce by 5 pounds a month is doable. It may take you awhile to reach your goal weight, but by the time you’ve lost the weight, you’ll have spent months living with your new eating behaviors. This would give you a better chance of maintaining your weight.

Hoping to become manager of your department a month after you first get the job would be unrealistic. However, meeting deadlines and giving more than asked would get you noticed. Before long, you could be asked to lead up a project that would put you on the promotion track.

Balance Your Expectations

When you have expectations, you’re able to gauge whether your goals are progressing properly or not. They allow you to measure whether you’ve met your objectives. If you haven’t, you adjust them and keep going.

As with everything, there are extremes to having expectations. Having too little can get you stuck in a dead end job, unhappy relationship, or stagnant life. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, you’ll constantly be dissatisfied, unhappy and may eventually give up. However, when you have realistic expectations that require you to work towards them and grow, they’ll enrich your life.

What I wanted from a relationship was more than Glenn could give me. He continued to treat me as a convenience. Although it was difficult for me, I eventually ended the relationship with him. I wanted and expected better treatment and respect. Only by desiring something different, taking action towards it, and expecting that your actions will be successful, will you be able to experience something greater in your life.

Affirmation:

I give myself permission to accept greater abundance and success into my life. I keep my expectations realistic as I work towards my goals. Even if I don’t succeed the first time, I learn from the situation and try again. Only good comes to me as I pursue my dreams.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

Welcome the Opportunity of Change

by Linda-Ann Stewart

There is nothing permanent except change. Heraclitus

“There is nothing permanent except change.” Heraclitus

As humans, we tend to resist change, especially when it’s thrust upon us. We want to stay with the status quo, even when what’s familiar is holding us back and making us uncomfortable. But life is change. You aren’t the same person you were yesterday. Your life is slightly different than it was last year. Sometimes change is gradual and sometimes it comes at you all at once. The Universe is always urging you forward, to expand into a greater awareness.

When change is thrust upon you, your first instinct may be to ignore it and hope for the best. But this only wastes energy. Unfortunately, resistance just delays the inevitable and makes it harder to deal with the issue when it erupts all over your life. If you haven’t prepared to handle the fallout, the consequences can be disastrous. Resisting makes the Cosmic 2″ x 4″ board that metaphorically hits you become a 4″ x 8″ board.

Accept What’s Coming and Adjust

When you’re driving, and see a curve ahead, you adjust your speed and steering ahead of time. For big events in your life, you make plans, like a party, wedding, birth, or retirement. You recognize that each of these occasions requires thought and preparation, or there could be complications. Most people even make a will and take out insurance as protection against unforeseen circumstances.

Not all of change is beneficial. But even if you don’t want the change, don’t put blinders on. Accept that it’s happening. When you shift from fighting against the change to accepting it, you free up your inner resources, creativity and innovation.  You begin to flow with the Universe. William James, philosopher and psychologist, said, “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” You aren’t giving up or giving into misfortune; you’re recognizing the reality of the situation and addressing it.

Looking Ahead

When change starts to push into your life, pay attention. There will be signals that change is in the offing. You could have a dip in your revenue, a recurring sign that you need to attend to your health, or trusted tactics not working as well as they once did. This isn’t an excuse to overreact, but to start planning ahead for a potential shift.

Stay aware of the currents of life and where they’re taking you. Life leaves clues. Look ahead to where you may be headed, and make plans to avoid a potential crisis. When you’re forward thinking, you’re able to notice difficulties that may be in the offing. The Universe will give you choices, and it’s easier to make a wise decision before, instead of during, you’re in the middle of the situation. Problems generally show up with a hidden opportunity. When you keep your mind open to how you can capitalize on a situation, you’ll find a way to do so.

Be Proactive

Instead of reacting when you’re forced to, be proactive and make plans ahead of time. This gives the Law of Attraction time to act. Anticipate future problems and find ways to turn them to your advantage. This means you meet the issue on your terms, and can triumph over it. Even if the change isn’t as extreme as you expect, you still have exercised your creativity concerning the situation. Being proactive improves your sense of control, empowerment, and reduces your stress.  It can also help you develop a better outlook on life and increase your coping skills.

Change pushes you to grow, to become more resilient, flexible and innovative. You become a better person as you learn to adjust to new situations and circumstances. When you seek out the best of a situation, you may find something much better than you ever expected. Embrace change, prepare for it, and you will thrive.

Affirmation:

Change is the way the Universe urges me to grow. I welcome change, anticipate it and prepare for it to wash through my life. As I accept that I’m able to transform through shifting conditions, I’m Divinely guided to the direction I need to take for my Highest Good. I bless the situation, and know that something wonderful manifests for me. 

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

The Journey to Finding Clarity

The Journey to Finding Clarity

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Clarity Focus Goal

Many decades ago, I was in a relationship that wasn’t working for me. I unsuccessfully tried discussing it with my boyfriend. I even tried to be more of the person he wanted me to be (I was young and naïve, and it was a disaster). I couldn’t put my finger on how or why we were out of sync, but I knew we were.

When we first started dating, I’d told him I wanted us to be equals and partners, and he’d agreed. But, finally, in an argument, I discovered he really wanted a different kind of relationship, in which he had all the power and made all the decisions. And he’d been trying to maneuver me into becoming his ideal partner. Because our expectations were in opposition, we were moving in different directions, and it was pulling us apart.

Does Something Feel Off?

Have you ever been in a situation that wasn’t going the way you wanted, but you didn’t know what was wrong? You may not even realize that there was a problem, but you were uncomfortable with the circumstances?

You could be in the middle of a relationship that’s not working, a job that you don’t like or your business has stalled. Because you’re in the middle of it, you may not be aware that there is an issue. You just know that things don’t seem right and you’re discontented. You could have outgrown where you are, and the Universe is trying to communicate that to you through your discomfort.

Many people in this situation unconsciously start trying different tactics to fix a problem before they even know exactly what’s amiss. They may jump from strategy to strategy, trying different things and not following through on any of them. All this does is create chaos and make things worse.

How to Gain Clarity

If you feel unsettled, you need to get clear on what the issue is before you can resolve the problem. Here are some ways to find that insight. 

Awareness. Before you can solve a problem, you have to admit you have one. I knew I had a problem in that relationship, even if I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes, you try to ignore the issue, hoping it will resolve itself. Sometimes, it will. But most often, you have to acknowledge that something is wrong before you can begin to address it.

Clarity. Once you’ve recognized that something isn’t right, you have to discover the source of the problem. In my relationship, it turned out that we were mismatched and had different goals. Diagnose the issue by describing what the symptoms are. Identify where or what’s keeping you stuck or making you uncomfortable.  

Journaling. To dig deeper into what might be going on, journal about the situation first thing every morning for at least three days. Write for fifteen to twenty minutes. When you write, keep the pen moving, and don’t critique or edit what you’re writing. This keeps your conscious mind at bay and allows vital information to surface from your subconscious mind.

Ask for Guidance. Ask your Higher Self for clarity and guidance in the situation. When you do, you quit trying to control the outcome, and you allow the Universe to reveal insight and understanding to you.

Finding the Solution

Once you’ve identified the problem, you’re on your way to finding the solution. “A problem well stated is a problem half solved,” Charles Kettering said. Your subconscious mind is your ultimate problem solver, but you have to articulate the issue before your creative mind can work on it.

Once you’ve gotten clarity about what’s wrong, your subconscious will start coming up with ideas of what to do. You might be surprised how how quickly answers start appearing. They may not be the outcome you want, but they’ll be the direction you need to go. For instance, my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, but it was best for both of us. Doors will open for a better life for you, like they did for me.

Affirmation:

The Universe knows what’s making me discontented and uncomfortable. I now open my mind to recognize and acknowledge what the issue is. The Universe knows the answer to this problem and reveals it to my mind now. I allow the Universe to guide me to the steps I need to take to resolve the issue for my Highest Good.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation to Gain Clarity.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

What’s Your Priority?

What’s Your Priority?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Railroad tracks that split in two directions

When you start to work on a project, have you ever have something else come up that needed your attention? It dragged you away from your priority, while you dealt with the more immediate concern. Did this develop into a pattern for you, so that every time you began to shift your attention to your project, another distraction would arise?

If so, it’s an unconscious tactic to resist moving forward with your vision. You may have an unknown block to creating your goal. Or you could be concerned about leaving your comfort zone. Your subconscious is simply giving you the means to stay where you are.

Resisting Your Priority

Your priority is whatever goal or vision you’re currently working on, and the steps that can bring it into reality. This could be making your business a success, improving your health, or cleaning out the garage. It needs to be attended to before you deal with anything else. And your priority takes precedence over anyone else’s demands on you.

Resistance can take many aspects. You can recognize it if you’re procrastinating some action having to do with your goal. Washing the dishes first could be an excuse to avoid dealing with your priority. If you want to reduce weight, and decide to have that slice of pie at a party, then you’re giving in to the part of you that doesn’t want that slim figure. Or you could just keep postponing diving into a project that needs to be done. All of these are subconscious devices to keep you where it feels familiar.

The Cost of Distractions

It’s also easy for life to distract you from what’s significant. So many other things demand your attention when you’re trying to fulfill your priorities. Answering email, washing the dog, a friend calling you in distress can all be excuses not to put your needs first. Whatever you pay attention to, even if it’s something that’s been thrust on you, becomes your priority for that moment. You have to consciously make a choice of what is most vital to you.

When other things clamor for your attention, and you focus on them and ignore your goal, you’re giving your subconscious the direction to continue to keep you off track. Unless you take action on your goal first, your subconscious will continue to divert you. It follows your direction. When you let yourself be distracted, it takes the message that you want it to continue to undermine your goal.

The Difference Between Immediate and Urgent

You have to determine what needs your attention now, and what can wait for a few hours. It’s hard not to confuse the immediate from the urgent. An email that needs to be answered today means that it can be responded to later. It can be put off until after you spend time on your goal.

If you have something that’s urgent, it needs to be addressed before you work on your goal. For instance, a computer crash prevents you from doing your work. The computer has to be fixed before anything can be done in the area of your business. A crisis can deter you for a short time. But when it’s over, get refocused and back on course. 

Suppose your goal is to eat healthier and avoid sugar. When you have dinner at your mom’s, your priority is to pick the foods that fit your plan. Even if she’s upset when you don’t have a piece of her chocolate cake, choose to stick to your goal. Your seeking health trumps her being offended. Besides, shouldn’t she support your goal to be healthier?

If you want to establish a spiritual practice, you have to set aside time to meditate and read. When you allow other concerns to impede your practice, you establish that they’re more crucial  than your spiritual growth. When you stand firm in your goal, you communicate to the Universe that you recognize the value of your inner life.

Resolving Resistance

When you have a goal, you have to create the plan to achieve it. You’ll develop steps, and then prioritize them, figuring out what comes first, then second and so on. Each day, make your vision your priority and take some action towards it. Only by doing so will you undo the resistance that has been trying to sabotage your plans.

Distractions will diminish, and you’ll handle them better, because your subconscious will get the message that you intend to fulfill your desire. As you make your vision a priority, you’ll be creating the habit of attending to it a step at a time. Step by step, you’ll get to your goal, and your vision will become a reality.

Affirmation:

I now prioritize myself and my vision. No one can stop me but me. What I want is important, and I set my intention to follow through on it. I push through my resistance, in whatever form it takes. Every day, I take positive action in the direction of my goal. As I do, I establish the habit of supporting myself and my priorities.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity..To achieve
your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

The Power of Perspective

The Power of Perspective

by Linda-Ann

My mother was an incredible life and spiritual coach. Whenever I’d get upset, she’d ask, “Will this matter in five years? If not, let it go.” She always advised me to take a long term perspective on life.

If I had an argument with a boyfriend, and it wasn’t a fundamental problem in the relationship, she urged me to move on. When I was unhappy over giving a less than stellar presentation, she recommended that I learn from it and focus on the next one. If the issue would be insignificant in five years, she figured that it wasn’t worth getting stressed over it in the present.

Sage Advice

Her advice can be used for most disappointments you deal with. Put the situation into perspective by determining how big an impact it’s going to have in your life in a few years. If you’ll barely remember it, then learn what you can from it and put it behind you. Focus on what’s next for you and allow that vision to pull you forward.

You Have the Power of Perspective

Even if you have a major problem in your life, your perspective can make it better or worse.  Robert Schuller said, “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” You have control over how you respond to any situation. If you continue to ruminate over something that happened, or hold onto resentment over it, then you’ll have a hard time recovering.

You can become bitter if you get stuck in suffering. Focusing on a negative event can create a habit of focusing on what you don’t have. This can lead to making decisions that aren’t in your best interests in an attempt to avoid pain.

However, when you choose to find a way to overcome a circumstance, you can improve the quality of your life. A crisis can lead to opportunities you never would have noticed, thought of seeking out or taken advantage of.

Divorce, a lost job, a house burning down all can lead to something better if you keep your options open. First, acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to grieve. Then, switch your attention to what resources you have to create a new experience. Set your subconscious and the Law of Attraction to scan your life for opportunities. In a few months or a year, you could be in a much better position than you are today.

Consider the Outcome

Consider how different your life could be in five years.

  • Will the current setback still be a major stumbling block?
  • If so, how can you turn it into a launching pad?
  • How much will the situation matter in five years?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?

Your attitude and authority over the situation will determine how it will affect your life, for better or worse. When you take a longer term view of circumstances, you’ll have the strength and ability to triumph. And you’ll have less wear and tear on your psyche.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me. When an unpleasant or upsetting situation arises, I determine to put it into perspective. The Universe provides me with everything I need to triumph over the issue. I keep my mind and heart open for Divine Guidance. I declare that only good comes to me as a result of what’s happened.

Watch the accompanying video, A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.