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Is Your Glass Half-Full Or Half-Empty?

Is Your Glass Half-Full Or Half-Empty?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I’m sure you’ve heard of the test to determine if a person is an optimist or a pessimist. Imagine a table with a glass with water in fifty percent of it. A person is asked “Is the glass half-full or half-empty?” Disregarding whether the glass has just had water poured into it, or half of the water poured out, the optimist will say “Half-full,” and the pessimist will say “Half-empty.” Both are right, and both are looking at the glass from their own perspective, through their own mental filters. Those filters also affect the way they look at the rest of their lives.

The Difference Between a Pessimist and an Optimist

The pessimist will expect the worst to happen. They don’t want to get their hopes up so they’ll never be disappointed. And they rarely are. Since they’re looking for the worst, they’ll generally find it. If a negative thinker receives a compliment at work, he’ll brush it off, figuring it was a fluke and will never happen again. Since they expect the worst, they don’t use their resources to discover a solution. Their life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, they give up and become stuck where they are.

Conversely, the optimist will look on the bright side, and find it. They’re the ones that “make lemons into lemonade.” Since they look for a way to turn a disaster into an opportunity, they’ll generally create a way to do so. If a person with a positive attitude is praised for a project well done, he’ll accept the congratulations and appreciate it. Optimists expect life to improve, so they look for solutions and take action.

How Realism Impacts Both

There is a difference between pessimism and realism. Suppose you have just enough in your bank account to pay all of your bills. A pessimist may get depressed over this state of affairs, and decide that “I don’t have any extra money for fun, and the situation will never get any better,” which simply tells the subconscious not to find a way to improve the situation.

Someone who is too optimistic may choose to spend some of their income on a good dinner, believing that something will turn up to recoup the money before the bills are due. That’s when a realistic attitude is helpful. A realistic optimist will think “Wow, there’s enough money to pay the bills this month. And since there’s nothing constant in the Universe but change, my financial situation will get better,” instructing their creative mind to keep working on a solution.

Optimists Aren’t Born

Pessimism is actually stressful and hard on the body. Studies have shown that pessimists have more physical illnesses and die at a younger age than optimists. Many people think that if they’re an optimist or pessimist, it’s a permanent condition. Not so. Optimists are not born, they’re trained that way. (The same is true of pessimists.) As children, we might pattern ourselves after the way a parent, friend, or teacher acted towards life; or we might choose the opposite approach. Either way, we learn to either look at the shadow or at the sunny side of life.

Being optimistic doesn’t mean that a person is a Pollyanna, wears rose-colored glasses and never recognizes that something is difficult, hurtful, or sad. It just means that they don’t dwell on it. They choose to focus on the good in life, and look for a way for things to improve. In doing so, they’re instructing their creative mind to find a way to turn the obstacles into a benefit. The Chinese character for “challenge” is the same as the character for “opportunity.”

How to Become an Optimist

Becoming an optimist means changing the way you focus on the events in your life. Listen to what you tell yourself about things. Are they negative? Are they actually accurate? For instance, if a friend betrays you, do you think, “I can’t trust any of my friends, and I’ll never find a friend I can trust?” Simply because one friend betrayed you doesn’t mean that all of them are disloyal. Challenge your own negative beliefs and attitudes. They are not facts. They are simply how you have been trained to think about a situation. If you have been trained one way, you can train yourself to think about it differently.

Give yourself a pep talk, such as “Lois betrayed me. She pretended to be my friend for her own agenda. That’s not my issue, it’s hers. Looking back, I realized that something was amiss in the relationship. I have other friends who have been trustworthy. I’m learning more and more to pay attention to my feelings about who can be trusted. There are lots of nice people with integrity in the world, and I can meet them.” This changes the focus of your attention from “no solution” to “solutions are available.”

Just as when a person sees the glass half-empty or half-full, altering the focus can change your filters. When you change your filters, this transforms the way you perceive life. So, instead of seeing the glass as half-empty, you can begin to see the opportunities of the glass being half-full.

Affirmation:

I know that I perceive life through the filters of my own beliefs. Those beliefs aren’t facts, they’re simply based on conclusions I’ve drawn from past experiences, and from the way I’ve learned to process that information. I now realize that there are many other ways to view the events of my life, and I now choose to change my focus to a more positive one. I actively search for a positive way to look at the situations of my life, a way that supports my well being. As I do, I’m instructing my creative mind to discover ways to improve my life.

Reprogram Your Negative Self-Chatter

Reprogram Your Negative Self-Chatter

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Thoughts in a head

Have you ever monitored what you say to yourself? Listened to the self-talk that chatters away without your being aware of it? Automatic phrases, such as “I can’t do this,” “I’m not worthy,” “I can’t handle this,” “I can’t afford it” and others. You may even find yourself saying them to the people in your life. These are beliefs that have been programmed into you, just like into a computer. Suppose the boss asks you to come into his office. Your first reaction may be “Uh, Oh. I’m in trouble,” even though he may want to praise you.

These ideas come from your past, but  they create a self-fulfilling feedback loop in your subconscious. Without your being aware of it, they provide background noise in your life. Is it any wonder that it’s hard to make any changes? They echo the words of parents, siblings, friends, teachers, anybody whose opinion you ever accepted, whether it was true or not. You were hypnotized into believing them, and you’ve stayed true to the conditioning.

How to Reprogram Negative Thoughts

An affirmation is a statement that confirms what you hold to be true, and though we generally use the term for positive declarations, these statements can be either positive or negative. When you tell yourself over and over that you’re not worthy , it convinces your subconscious that this is what you want, and your subconscious creates this reality.

The first step is to become aware of what you’re telling yourself. Write down these statements. Then formulate a sentence that counters what you’ve been believing all these years. Use it repetitively, because that’s how you were programmed in the first place. By hearing the same or similar things over and over.

Remain conscious of the background noise of your thoughts. And when the negative statement rises up, use your new phrase. Be patient. That original idea has been there a long time. It’ll take time, consistence, and persistence, but eventually you’ll change the thought to one that more truly reflects the Universe’s loving opinion of you.

Affirmation:

I monitor my self-talk and now become aware of what I’m telling myself. I realize that these negative ideas came from the past and have no relation to my present life. I recognize my own worth and the authority of my positive declarations. I am patient, consistent and persistent in reprogramming my mind, for I know that the changes are happening with every constructive affirmation that I state.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Register for her FREE Design Your Best Day guide and guided meditation video at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Seek Persistence, Not Perfection

Seek Persistence, Not Perfection

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.” Calvin Coolidge

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.” Calvin Coolidge

There’s an old saying, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” But that concept puts so much pressure on people. They figure that if they can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. So, because they’re afraid of failing, or of doing less than their best, they procrastinate, or they get paralyzed and do nothing.

But perfection is not only overrated, it’s impossible. When you seek perfection, you don’t try anything new, because you’re unsure of the results. Or if you do try something new, it’s only what you know you’ll do well. You don’t do anything new or challenging that will allow you to grow or develop. But you don’t build proficiency in a vacuum. It takes time to develop the skill and knowledge to be able to excel at something.

Perfectionism Affects Your Mental Health

Seeking perfection is detrimental to your mental health, as it creates stress and anxiety. The pursuit of perfection also results in low self-esteem and depression. Your self-talk becomes abusive, as you berate yourself for always falling short of an impossible standard. Perfectionism promotes the opposite of what you seek, which is wellbeing and success.  

The obsession with perfection is prompted by the fear of failure and disapproval. You’re trying to live up to some unrealistic expectations, generally from childhood, and fear rejection if you don’t succeed. So by staying in your comfort zone and don’t try anything new, you can’t fail or be criticized. This causes you to avoid challenges, risk, growth and innovation.

Developing Persistence

My father used to say, “You don’t fail until you stop trying.” There’s a theory that leaders should seek failure, rather than success, because failing teaches you valuable lessons. You learn more about yourself, are able to cultivate creativity, and acquire empathy through failure. You discover what doesn’t work, and are able to apply that to your next attempt. Failure also fosters persistence. Each time you fail, you’re one step closer to success, if you keep trying.

Beginning meditators give up when they aren’t able to quiet their mind chatter. The point of meditation is the practice. The more you persist, the easier it will be to not give attention to the distracting thoughts that fly through your mind. Perseverance also gives the Law of Attraction a focus, letting it know that your idea is something you really want.

Instead of focusing on the outcome of perfection, focus on the process of what you’re trying to achieve. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does build expertise. Repetition forms muscle memory, and creates a habit. Training crafts mastery, which is as close to perfection as anyone can get. But you have to continue to practice, or else you begin to lose the skills.

Persistence Builds Character

Simply put one foot in front of the other and keep going. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but it continues with taking another step and another. Focus on what you accomplish each day. What did you learn? How can that lesson be put to use in moving forward? You’re more productive, efficient and effective, simply by continuing to take action.

Perseverance is necessary for a child to learn to walk, a writer to finish a book, or someone to change a habit. Giving up isn’t an option if you want to reach your goal. When you persist, despite obstacles, you build strength and resilience. This becomes a positive cycle that will bring you more success and self-confidence. Let go of the illusion of perfection, and embrace the power of persistence.

Affirmation:

I recognize that perfection is the province of the Universe, not the physical world that I live in. I let go of the need to live up to unrealistic expectations. Those ideas belong in the past. Now, I focus on my goal and take steps to bring it into reality. I learn from any setbacks, and apply that knowledge to my path as I commit myself to moving forward.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Affirmation Results in a Week?

Affirmation Results in a Week?

Question about affirmations

Question: Will I see results within a week if I look in the mirror and loudly say affirmations about confidence?

Answer: Looking in the mirror and loudly stating an affirmation about confidence will begin to reprogram your subconscious mind. Using your voice, with a lot of emotion behind it, is very effective to impress your subconscious. The more you can say it, just like when you learned to read, the more it re-conditions the subconscious. To make your subconscious accept it quicker, you’ll need to use the affirmation any time during the day that you feel your confidence sagging.

I don’t know if you would see a significant result within a week, but I imagine that you’d notice a subtle improvement in that time. This is an issue you’ve had for a while, and it won’t change overnight. You’ll have to keep at it for permanent progress.

To determine what affirmation to use, you’d need to discover where and under what circumstances you feel a lack of confidence. Is it in social situations, at work, or with specific people? And then you’d need to create an affirmation that would address that issue. To develop them, you could read books or go to websites devoted to confidence building.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Are You Shoulding on Yourself?

Are You Shoulding on Yourself?

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Your attitude determines your direction

My mom was an awesome life and spiritual coach. One of her main recommendations was to eliminate what she called the “must, ought, shoulds” in your life. When you use any of these three words against yourself, you increase your sense of shame, anxiety, pressure, and guilt.

Statements such as, “I should lose weight,” “I ought to be more productive,” or “I must exercise,” don’t inspire you to comply. These phrases are an attempt to force yourself to do what some inner part of you thinks is important. But coercion of that sort backfires because it’s human nature to rebel against that type of control.

Why You Resist

Often, to escape the negative feelings, you do exactly the opposite, or do something that gives you pleasure. But then, you feel even more guilt, which causes you to further avoid what your inner bully is trying to make you do. This just makes you feel worse. And around and around it goes.

The part of you that’s pushing you this way is doing it to try to help you. It doesn’t feel like support, but that inner voice is trying to get you to do something it thinks will be beneficial for you. That part just isn’t going about it very effectively. Instead of encouraging, it’s trying to pressure you.

How to Take Back Your Power

When you notice that automatic voice in your head, ask yourself these questions:

  • Why should I do what it wants me to do?  
  • What would change if I acted on what it wants?
  • What would the result or benefit be for me?
  • Is this something I want?

If the outcome is one you want, you can shift your response from resistance to making a deliberate choice to act. You can reframe “must,” “ought,” and “should” to “I choose to” or “I choose not to.” If you decide to take the action, that inner voice isn’t winning. Instead, by changing your attitude, you’re taking your power back.

Think about how you’ll feel afterwards by following through. For one thing, you’ll free yourself from that oppressive voice. And second, you’ll you receive the benefits of the action. And lastly, you’ll feel better about yourself and have more energy to do the things you love.

Affirmation:

I now let go of the “must, ought, shoulds” in my life. They aren’t serving a purpose for me anymore. I accept authority over my life. I’m guided by Divine Mind into my right thoughts and actions. The Universe supports, encourages and inspires me to make the choices that bring me the life I desire and deserve.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Stop Shaming Yourself

Stop Shaming Yourself

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Break the inner chains that bind you.

When I used to facilitate tobacco-cessation classes, I told the participants not to condemn themselves if they relapsed. Feeling ashamed would just make them feel powerless and they’d give up. It’s much like someone on a diet who eats a cookie and figures, “Oh, well. I’ve failed. I might as well eat the whole bag.” In reality, the relapse is simply an opportunity to learn what else they need to do to become a nonsmoker. They’ve stumbled onto a trigger that they hadn’t planned on or had no strategy in place to deal with.

Shame and Guilt Are Different

Most of us dump shame on ourselves at one time or another. Shame is different from guilt. Shame is usually deposited on us by someone else, or can be an exaggerated form of guilt. Guilt signals us when we’ve violated some reasonable standard or value, so that we learn the lesson and don’t do it again. Such as accidentally stepping onto someone’s foot, feeling upset that it happened, apologizing or making amends, and moving on with our lives.

However, guilt morphs into shame when we do something we regret, and then the emotion grows to infect every aspect of our lives. Shame permeates our whole beingness and isn’t just about what we’ve done, but about who we are.

The more we wallow in guilt, and transform it into shame, the more powerless and worthless we feel. When that happens, we tend to act in self-destructive ways to try to numb the pain of how bad we feel, as well as verify the low opinion of ourselves.

A smoker will smoke more, someone with an eating disorder will spiral into more of the problem, a couch potato will avoid getting any exercise, a rage-aholic will lash out at those close to them, a workaholic will spend less time at home, and even those with no major addiction problems will do more of what made them feel ashamed in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle.

Stop the Cycle of Shame

As with everything else, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If our full attention is on how bad we are because of the awful thing we did, and we focus on that to the exclusion of anything good we’ve done, our subconscious has no other choice than to continue to recreate the negativity. It’s only doing what it perceives we want. The Universe doesn’t want us to suffer like that. It’s all our doing.

It’s not easy to stop the cycle. We’ve been trained to be very critical of ourselves. Our culture tends to shame those who don’t meet its measure of perfection. I’ve even heard spiritual people say, about someone going through a challenge, “I wonder what was in their consciousness to bring that into their experience?” It’s just another form of judging a person for not meeting some impossibly high standard.

It’s About Learning

We’re here to learn lessons, to become skilled at love, power and manifestation. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t be here. This life is a process of training. A child doesn’t walk the first time they stand up. They fall, and try again. After learning to balance, they then take a step and tumble down. They’re learning how to use their muscles. Eventually, through trial and error, they are able to walk, run and skip.

As we learn, we practice our new abilities each day. Sometimes we backslide to learn another aspect of the lesson. A child doesn’t shame themselves for not being able to walk as soon as they emerge into this world. They learn from their mistakes and get on with the process. We need to be more like children when we don’t succeed immediately, because the more we slip-up, the more we get to experience new facets of our lesson.

Whenever that shaming voice begins to shout, remember that the original issue isn’t about the whole being, it’s about a single event. Focus on that one incident, learn what you need to do differently, make any amends necessary, forgive yourself, and implement the changes you want to make. Then let it go and move on. In this way, we release and direct Universal energy to grow and evolve.

Affirmation:

Shame is a denial of Universal love. Any shame I feel is false information about who and what I am. I am a worthwhile child of the Infinite. I give myself credit for the good that I’ve done. Whenever I take a mis-step or make a mistake, I realize that it’s simply part of my learning process. Guilt is a signal that I violated my own standards. I learn the lesson, make amends, forgive myself and let it go. In so doing, I move forward in my spiritual awareness and evolution.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Change Starts From Within

Change Starts From Within

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman happy she's changed

As a hypnotherapist, people come to see me professionally because they want some sort of change in their lives. Whether it’s to feel better about themselves, stop smoking, reduce weight, increase their self-confidence, improve their health, or have some other positive adjustment, they have made a choice that has brought them to my office. Together we figure out what they need to change within themselves, and what actions they need to take, to bring about the improvement in their lives.

Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don’t want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.

Change from the Inside Out

For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they’ve chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life’s challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they’ll start up again.

All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what’s wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.

Improving Self-Esteem

For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they’re not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don’t deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them.

The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.

Deal with Inner Attitudes

This doesn’t mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I’ve known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can’t pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that’s the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.

The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn’t going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren’t dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.

What Do You Need to Change?

Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, “What do I need to change within myself in order to…?” Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.

Permanent improvement in any area of life demands our making a choice for something different, begin to align our beliefs and attitudes so that the new idea is possible and desirable, and then take action to embody the new concept. All of these steps are necessary for there to be change. And when we begin to entertain the idea of change, the Universe will bring us opportunities to help it along. New people will show up in our lives, information will drop onto our desk, or some event may nudge it along. We just have to have the courage and commitment to take the leap into a brighter future.

Affirmation:

I now identify the areas of my life that I want to change and recognize what needs to happen for them to improve. I’m guided to understand what I need to change within myself to create the transformation in my life. The answer is clear. With my whole being, I’m willing to do what is necessary to improve. As I make the decision to change, the Universe supports me and brings whatever I need to help me.

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Will I be optimistic in 3 weeks?

Question about affirmations

Question: If I say an affirmation for three weeks, will I see results and think only positive thoughts by then?

Answer: If you begin saying a positive affirmation, and say it consistently every day for three weeks, you’ll notice an improvement in your attitude. However, you’ll need to catch each negative thought and idea and change it to a positive for the results to be most effective.

And you won’t have a permanent change in your thoughts after just three weeks. You’ll need to keep up with the affirmation, and transforming your negative thoughts even after that. But the negative thoughts will be fewer and you’ll be more positive overall.

This isn’t something you can do for a few days, weeks or months and then stop doing. It’s a focused change of thinking that must continue. You won’t have to be as diligent later on, because you’ll be more aware of your negative thoughts and automatically change them to positives. Affirmations aren’t magic. You have to use them consistently for them to work.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Emmalou Penrod M.A., of Healing Your Families, and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. In our initial conversation, we realized we had something in common. We both had been trained to use hypnosis to improve people’s lives! She’s a retired schoolteacher, and now coaches families to have more peaceful homes. She’s a parenting and family strengthening expert, and brings her knowledge of counseling to help heal families.

As we talked, we had such a connection that she invited me to be interviewed on her podcast at WinWinWomen.tv. Although family issues aren’t my professional area of expertise, one topic that affects everyone is self-worth. My specialties as a hypnotherapist were stress management, success programming and self-esteem/self-worth issues. Since Emmalou and I agreed that having better self-worth made better parents, we decided that would be a great topic to cover.

In the interview, we began by talking about how I became a focus coach for women small business owners. I explained that women tend to be scattered because of all their responsibilities. It’s difficult for them to focus for any length of time on any one thing. But focus is necessary to accomplish anything.

Then Emmalou asked about the opposite of focus, “What do you think of multitasking?”

“Multitasking” is a myth,” I answered, and explained why. She said she’d heard it described as “a lie,” which is also true. Multitasking keeps your brain fractured between all the different tasks. It breaks your train of thought, so you can’t build up momentum on any project or task.

This led into discussing the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem can be impacted by outside variables and self-worth is more internal and fundamental. And both are impacted by having a strong inner critic. Emmalou liked my perspective on the inner critic not being a bad guy, but fulfilling a role that a person has outgrown.

Emmalou asked how a person could improve their self-worth. I answered that being kinder to oneself and being mindful helped to support and build self-worth. At the end of the conversation, I shared three simple steps on how to be kinder to yourself.

Because of Emmalou’s background, expertise and knowledge, I loved talking with her about this subject. I could have gone on for hours, but we had to fit into the podcast’s time frame. But I have articles on this topic here and on my website to help you reclaim your worth. And Emmalou has articles on her blog to help you become a better person, and thus, a better parent.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Listening To Your Intuition

Listening To Your Intuition

by Linda-Ann Stewart

A while back, I was lunching with someone who stated that she didn’t want to get between one of my friends and myself. I almost blurted out, “Since when?” Many years prior, that’s exactly what she’d tried to do. But I caught myself before the statement came out of my mouth. I reminded myself that she’d changed in the ensuing years, and that she was just trying to be helpful. I mistook my intuition for old information and second-guessed myself. A few months later, I found out that my initial spontaneous response was correct.

Intuition Is a Natural Ability

We’re born with the natural ability to instinctively know when someone is lying to us, when they’re trustworthy, when they’re threatening. But many people grow up in hostile environments, with family’s who erode that knowledge. For instance, in an alcoholic home, the child may recognize that Papa gets nasty and sleepy when he drinks that smelly stuff, but Mama says, “No, Papa’s just tired.” Since the grownup knows more, the child ignores his/her judgment. Parents may insist that no one outside of the immediate family can be trusted and the child shouldn’t tell anyone what goes on in the home. As children, we look to authorities to confirm or deny our truths to help us learn discernment.

The instinct of who to trust is still there in all of us, buried and ignored. It’s been called the “Still, small voice,” and is always whispering to us. Most of the time we don’t hear it, mistake it for something else, or our fears override it. Learning to tune into it again takes practice.

Fear Isn’t Intuition

In my experience, if you experience obsessive thoughts about a situation, such as “He always lies,” or “They’re going to steal my idea,” that’s not intuition, but old information trying to protect you. The subconscious is comparing the current situation to a past condition. The concerns may or may not be correct, depending on the circumstances. But generally it’s just mind chatter, coming from past fears.

However, if you have an instinctive response, as I did, to a situation, then I’d suggest you pay attention. Investigate further if you have a nagging feeling that won’t go away that something just isn’t right. A visceral, physical response to something going on is a definite sign. Having nightmares, tense muscles, anxiety, intestinal upsets, or frequently getting sick may begin to happen if you ignore the signals. This is the intuition getting more serious and forceful in its attempts to get noticed.

How to Determine What the Message Is

Once you identify that something has caught the attention of your intuition, begin using your analytical mind. Is everything that’s going on congruent? Do the person’s actions and statements match? Are they contradicting themselves, or what you know to be true? When you discuss the situation, do you feel satisfied with their responses, and how they treat your concerns, or are you still uneasy?

Ask the Universe for clarity. It’s amazing, once you do that, how often the truth comes out. But you have to be open to what you hear, because sometimes the answer will mean you have to make some hard choices. And there are also times when the more positive answer is harder to believe in the light of our old experiences.

Practice Being Guided

One way to learn to discriminate between your fears, logic and intuition is to begin asking to be guided in different ways. For instance, ask what you need to wear that day, what order you should do your errands, what route should you take to work, etc. You’ll begin to notice that sometimes you’ll be guided to do something out of the ordinary that proves to be of benefit to you.

As you learn to distinguish between your rational mind and intuitive promptings, you’ll be better able to pay attention to your instinct and let it direct and protect you. It’s always there, whispering into your mind. Tuning into your intuition will help you live a safer, smoother and more harmonious life.

Affirmation:

The Universe is guiding me at every moment of time and every point of space. It is always whispering to me. My intuition comes from that soft voice flowing through my subconscious. I have a true instinct of who is trustworthy, and when there is danger. I can now distinguish between my rational mind, my fears, old concerns and my intuition giving me relevant guidance. The Universe now provides me with clarity about any situation and I am able to correctly recognize the awareness.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.