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The Power of Perspective

The Power of Perspective

by Linda-Ann

My mother was an incredible life and spiritual coach. Whenever I’d get upset, she’d ask, “Will this matter in five years? If not, let it go.” She always advised me to take a long term perspective on life.

If I had an argument with a boyfriend, and it wasn’t a fundamental problem in the relationship, she urged me to move on. When I was unhappy over giving a less than stellar presentation, she recommended that I learn from it and focus on the next one. If the issue would be insignificant in five years, she figured that it wasn’t worth getting stressed over it in the present.

Sage Advice

Her advice can be used for most disappointments you deal with. Put the situation into perspective by determining how big an impact it’s going to have in your life in a few years. If you’ll barely remember it, then learn what you can from it and put it behind you. Focus on what’s next for you and allow that vision to pull you forward.

You Have the Power of Perspective

Even if you have a major problem in your life, your perspective can make it better or worse.  Robert Schuller said, “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” You have control over how you respond to any situation. If you continue to ruminate over something that happened, or hold onto resentment over it, then you’ll have a hard time recovering.

You can become bitter if you get stuck in suffering. Focusing on a negative event can create a habit of focusing on what you don’t have. This can lead to making decisions that aren’t in your best interests in an attempt to avoid pain.

However, when you choose to find a way to overcome a circumstance, you can improve the quality of your life. A crisis can lead to opportunities you never would have noticed, thought of seeking out or taken advantage of.

Divorce, a lost job, a house burning down all can lead to something better if you keep your options open. First, acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to grieve. Then, switch your attention to what resources you have to create a new experience. Set your subconscious and the Law of Attraction to scan your life for opportunities. In a few months or a year, you could be in a much better position than you are today.

Consider the Outcome

Consider how different your life could be in five years.

  • Will the current setback still be a major stumbling block?
  • If so, how can you turn it into a launching pad?
  • How much will the situation matter in five years?
  • What can you do to improve the situation?

Your attitude and authority over the situation will determine how it will affect your life, for better or worse. When you take a longer term view of circumstances, you’ll have the strength and ability to triumph. And you’ll have less wear and tear on your psyche.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me. When an unpleasant or upsetting situation arises, I determine to put it into perspective. The Universe provides me with everything I need to triumph over the issue. I keep my mind and heart open for Divine Guidance. I declare that only good comes to me as a result of what’s happened.

Watch the accompanying video, A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

Everyone’s had a rough day, at some point. The challenge is to find a way to get through it with your equilibrium intact. Many years ago, I had one that had me drawing on my inner resources and perspective to make it to the end of the day. Learn the mindset shift I used that can help you  to prevail over a tough day.

Transcript:

Have you ever had a rough day? I mean, who hasn’t? It could be a day that starts with you being late, and goes from bad to worse. Or having communication snafus. But it’s a day that you can’t wait to end.

Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I had a tough day at work that seemed to last forever.  I’d like to share the mind shift tactic that got me through it.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I motivate people to transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, and wellbeing. And much of it depends on mindset, which is what I had to use on the rough day I had.

I’d just started working at a picture framing shop that was part of a chain. Customers would come in and pick out the mats and frames they wanted. But instead of leaving the artwork with us to do the work, we cut everything and showed them how to put it all together. That was a challenge all by itself.

The nightmare for me began one Saturday morning. It was pouring, and for some reason, we had more customers come in that morning than we’d had combined in the two weeks prior. The front part of the store, where we helped customers choose their materials, was packed with people.

The work overwhelmed the two of us who were working, so we called in a couple of reinforcements. One of them was the former manager of that shop. She put me to cutting mats, which wasn’t a great idea, as I was still getting used to the equipment.

When my mats didn’t pass her high expectations, she reamed me out in front of the entire store. It wasn’t just a mild rebuke or reprimand, but a full-on raging at me. It felt like it went on forever, but it was probably just a couple of minutes.

You know the cartoon with one person yelling, and the other person is blown back on their heels and their hair streams out behind them? That’s how I felt. Instead of walking out, I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.”

She gave me the job helping customers choose their mats and frames. I got a lot of sympathetic looks from the people I helped, but it made me more humiliated. I kept telling myself, “This day will end. I’ll eventually be home, eating dinner and watching TV.” The phrase became a mantra for me to keep me going, as people kept coming in and filling the store.

Of course, finally, the day did end. Once the manager left for the day, my original coworker commiserated with me, telling me that the manager had often raged like that. Fortunately, that was the only time I ever encountered that manager.

A couple of months after this episode, the shop was sold and my services no longer required. That was fine with me. It had been a difficult job, with long hours and low pay, and that incident hadn’t improved it.

When you’re having a rough day, remember that it’s temporary. It will pass, and things will get better. Find some concept, an affirmation, or mantra that supports you and helps you to maintain your equilibrium as you slog through the mess.

Visualize it being over, as I did. I even celebrated when another hour would pass. “One more down, only X number left.” You can even break it down into getting through one minute at a time.

Eventually, the day will simply be a memory that will lose its importance. I do still remember that experience many decades later, but mainly for how I got through it.

For more tips and articles on mindset, motivation and empowerment, visit my blog http://www.EmpoweringYourMind.com Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Power of Perspective.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

At some point, everyone has to deal with someone who is irate. It may be a loved one, a boss, a friend or a customer. If they’re open to listening to your explanations, then you can relate to them on an equal basis and find a resolution. But if they’re irrational, and ignore your reasons, let go of the need to have them understand, at least at that point. They’ll just dismiss your explanation, because it doesn’t agree with what they want to hear or want you to do. You may just need to do what you need to, without telling them why. Because no matter what you say or do, they’re not going to understand.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.” William James

Studies keep reinforcing that you can change your life by changing the way you think about it. People have gone from living out of their car to being millionaires by transforming their attitudes. Others have uncovered a confidence in themselves and been able to reach their dreams. Your world changes when your beliefs change. Because when your attitudes change, your actions and behaviors change as well.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Sometimes, it’s hard to know when you’re being taken advantage of. Maybe you tolerate inappropriate behavior, risk your own well being, and don’t even realize it. How can you recognize when this happens? There are some important cues that can tell you that someone has gone over your line. Once you begin to identify the signals, you can then decide how to handle the situation.

Transcript:

On social media a while back, someone I’ve known for quite some time  took advantage of our connection and regularly needled me. I pretty much ignored it, taking the advice of, “Don’t feed the trolls.” Usually, if someone who trolls you doesn’t get a reaction, they lose interest and leave you alone. They go trolling for people who are more responsive. But when this person escalated the attacks on me, I blocked them.

When the comments were benign, they were a nuisance, but didn’t bother me. This person was just looking for attention. But I drew the line when the comments got malicious. For me, that went way beyond what I would tolerate. The intent was disturbing.

Are there any areas where you’re tolerating inappropriate behavior? I don’t mean just on social media. Maybe, to keep the peace, you’re making concessions that make you uncomfortable or even resentful. For instance, you help someone out, but they expect much more. And you give in because you feel guilty. Or, in business, you cater to a customer who demands more of your time or resources than they’re entitled to. You capitulate because you’re afraid you’ll lose them as a customer.

How do you know when to draw the line? Pay attention to how you’re feeling about the interaction. When you feel agitated, confused, offended, upset, or like I did, disturbed, those are generally signals that someone has crossed a line. That’s when you need to decide what to do to support your well being and peace of mind. You have a right and a responsibility to yourself to take action. It could be just saying, “No,” or “Enough,” and following through on that intention. Or you may have to go further, like I did.

Should I have drawn the line earlier, before the comments escalated? For instance, should I have told them to stop needling me and be civil if they wanted to continue to converse with me? Possibly. But, they already knew what would happen if they went too far. And, knowing this person, I suspect a further warning wouldn’t have worked and the result would have eventually been the same. If a person deliberately chooses to be unpleasant, then there’s no reason for me to give them further  attention.

Draw your lines, set your limits, and by doing do, you show that you respect yourself and your values.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Why Is Focus Important for Success?

Why Is Focus Important for Success?

Ingafay Faison Cavitt and I met at a virtual networking event. She introduced herself as a Confidence Coach for Women. Since that was one of my specialties in my hypnotherapy practice, we scheduled a video call to get to know one another better. She works with women in direct sales to become the person they were destined to be. At the end of our conversation, she decided that my approach as a focus coach would work well on her podcast.

Being able to focus is vital to being successful in business, so that’s the approach we decided to take. I shared my story of  how, when I focused on one item at a time on a long to-do list, I was finally able to complete items in a short period. Ingafay agreed that doing one thing at a time is more productive.

We discussed how getting distracted can feel rewarding, but you don’t get much done. And it can cause you to seek out more distractions. Oddly enough, one hour of focused time is equivalent to many more hours of distracted time.

I shared 4 steps that anyone can use to develop the skill of focus. One of those steps was to take breaks after a period of concentration to give the mind time to recover. Ingafay asked if a break could be like doing household chores and I said, “Yes.”

At the end of the podcast, she asked me about something I’d mentioned  when we’d had our first conversation. She asked, “Can you talk again about introverts and extroverts?” I explained that introverts and extroverts need different types of stimulation to focus for productivity. Extroverts work best around other people and introverts work best alone. I shared how a friend had tried me to work her way, and I couldn’t. I really enjoyed talking with Ingafay and wished we had more time. We both have the mission to lift women up, support and empower them to have better lives. Women have the power to fulfill their dreams.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Uphold Your Boundaries for Greater Self-Worth

Uphold Your Boundaries for Greater Self-Worth

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Traffic light that signals both stop and go

When I was a child, I didn’t agree with the phrase, “Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile,” when referring to how people treat you. I believed that people were kind and would treat others the way they’d want to be treated. As an adult, I learned this wasn’t always true. I’ve encountered many people who tried to take advantage of, or dominate, me.

Originally, I’d explain my boundaries because I expected my limits to be respected. But over and over again, people ignored my limits and steamrolled over them. As I became older and wiser, I realized that the phrase should often be, “Give them a millimeter and they’ll take your soul.”

Boundaries vs. Barriers

There’s a difference between boundaries and barriers. Barriers are walls based on fear of getting hurt, getting too close, or being exploited. Barriers are designed to keep people away. These barricades were probably developed because of painful experiences you had in the past. Unfortunately, barriers don’t just keep others out. They imprison you and prevent you from having your best life. And you deserve the best that the Universe has to offer.

Boundaries are the limits you set on the kind of treatment you’ll allow from another person. This person can be someone you know socially, personally or professionally. These limits define where you leave off and the other person begins. In Universal mind, we are all one. But on the physical plane, we are separate individuals. You have your values and rights, and they have theirs. They’re not entitled to impose on you or vice versa.

Your boundaries are a function of your sense of self-worth, values and self-respect. If you lack these, then you may be allowing people to demean or abuse you. Boundaries are established from a position of strength, assurance, and self-value. They ensure that your rights are respected when people get close to you. They install a sense of safety for you, as well as for the other person. They know where your lines are drawn, and that they must respect them or suffer the consequences.

How to Establish Boundaries

It’s not easy to set and keep boundaries. There are some people who will continue to push against your boundaries to test them, no matter what you say. Others will honor them. But it’s your responsibility to make sure your limits are upheld by the following:

Decide what you’ll tolerate. It’s best to make this determination before the situation arises. Will you allow someone to tease you unmercifully if they’re a family member? What if they’re a boss or a client? Figure out the characteristics of good and bad clients, coworkers, and friends and set your intention to the Law of Attraction to attract positive people. A signal that a boundary has been breached is if you feel uncomfortable with certain interactions. As much as possible, avoid those who continually violate your boundaries.

Stand up for your rights. You have a right to be treated with dignity. Learn to say, “No,” or “Enough,” to those who are uncivil, discourteous or rude. Most people are simply trying to get their needs met. The ones who take advantage are simply trying to get their needs met at your expense. Realize their behavior isn’t yours to fix. It’s their problem and only they can change it. They may not choose to because it’s been getting them what they want. The Universe doesn’t ask that you be a martyr to people to make them feel better.

Consequences. How will you handle behavior that goes past your limit? You can’t change other people. But you can insist that they treat you the way you want. If they don’t, then decide ahead of time what the consequences will be if they don’t. What are you willing to do? Actions speak louder than words. Don’t use a repercussion as an empty threat or manipulation. Both will fail. Instead, state the potential result if they disregard your boundary again, and if they do it anyway, take follow through on your warning. If they refuse to respect you, it’s appropriate to close the door on any future interaction with them. The Universe will find other people that are better for you.

The Result of Establishing Boundaries

Eventually, the people who tried to intimidate me left my life, either through their choice or mine. It’s not easy to establish and maintain boundaries, but it’s certainly better than letting people abuse you. When you set boundaries, you train people how you expect to be treated. And you instruct the Law of Attraction about the kind of people to draw into your life. People will respect you more, disappear or you’ll let them go, depending on the situation. By standing up for yourself, you’re building self-confidence, authenticity and courage. And best of all, you will retain your soul.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me and I deserve the best that Life has to offer. I am worthy of being treated well in all of my relationships. I have the right to decide how I want to be treated, and to insist that I be treated that way. The Universe completely supports me as I establish my boundaries. As I uphold my boundaries, the Law of Attraction brings me people who will respect them.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

The Necessity Of Boundaries

The Necessity Of Boundaries

by Linda-Ann Stewart

In my hypnotherapy practice, when a client would come to see me with self-esteem issues, I’d discuss the topic of “boundaries” with them. Some of my clients had never even heard of the idea of boundaries and I had to explain it to them. “Boundaries are like limits you would set with a child,” I’d say, “telling them not to touch the stove, for their own safety. Or not to hit their sibling.” Most of my clients could relate to that.

However, the idea of telling an adult how to treat them could be a foreign concept. “But they should know how to treat me,” my client might say. This is true, but people have different ideas of how to treat each other. And everyone has their own agenda to make them feel more comfortable. Unless you are direct and clear about what you’ll accept and what you won’t accept, the other person won’t know.

What Are Your Current Boundaries?

Boundaries are an important part of life. Think of the boundaries you have now. You wouldn’t allow someone to reach into your pocket or purse and steal your money without complaining. You’ve drawn the line there. Where are some of your other boundaries? In personal relationships and friendships, what kind of limits have you set? Do you allow friends or loved ones to put you down, beat you, take advantage of you? If so, this is an area in which you need to strengthen your boundaries.

When I was little, my parents taught me that having boundaries was a good thing. But as I got into school and made friends, having boundaries meant that I wouldn’t be liked. When a friend hit me and I complained to her mother, the mom told me that I had to forgive her daughter and continue playing with her. The mom encouraged my feelings of compassion for her daughter so that I wouldn’t reject her. From that, I learned to let people walk all over me. 

Why Boundaries Are Necessary

Without boundaries, we allow the world to treat us as they want to. Not as we expect to be treated, but in ways that are convenient for them. Boundaries are necessary for our safety, and to teach others how we expect to be treated. If we don’t teach people to value us, then we have only ourselves to blame when they take advantage of us. A boundary is the communication of how we choose to be treated, and what the consequences are if we’re not treated that way. Sometimes, you don’t even have to state it as long as you have it firmly planted in your consciousness. Your attitude will communicate it clearly.

When I began setting boundaries and standing up for them, it was scary. The people who didn’t value me began to leave my life. In any relationship, when one person changes, then the relationship itself changes. My “friends” weren’t willing to change with the relationship. But then I started attracting people to me who treated me the way I wanted to be treated. And I didn’t have to tell them how. Since I’d gotten it clear in my mind that I wouldn’t be browbeaten anymore (boundary), and if I was I’d end the relationship no matter how much I cared about the person (consequence), that commitment to my well-being communicated itself.

Boundaries Are Your Right and Responsibility

You have a right to establish the standards by which you choose to be treated. The Universe gave you that right by your having been born. You don’t have to accept treatment that devalues you as a person or as an expression of the Universe. You also have a responsibility to yourself, to the Universe, and to the other person to decide on your boundaries. If you don’t, then you’re allowing other people to choose how you will be treated and you’re at their mercy. By setting and maintaining boundaries, you’re accepting the responsibility for your well being. Boundaries demonstrate that you value yourself and that you value the relationship enough to create a secure environment in which it can grow.

Affirmation:

I have a right and responsibility to myself and the Universe to establish meaningful boundaries. I deserve to be treated well, with respect. If my boundaries are violated, I have the right to act on the consequences that I’ve decided on to keep myself safe and secure. I do this with compassion for the other person, but also with compassion for myself because my well being is more important than someone else’s convenience.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Emmalou Penrod M.A., of Healing Your Families, and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. In our initial conversation, we realized we had something in common. We both had been trained to use hypnosis to improve people’s lives! She’s a retired schoolteacher, and now coaches families to have more peaceful homes. She’s a parenting and family strengthening expert, and brings her knowledge of counseling to help heal families.

As we talked, we had such a connection that she invited me to be interviewed on her podcast at WinWinWomen.tv. Although family issues aren’t my professional area of expertise, one topic that affects everyone is self-worth. My specialties as a hypnotherapist were stress management, success programming and self-esteem/self-worth issues. Since Emmalou and I agreed that having better self-worth made better parents, we decided that would be a great topic to cover.

In the interview, we began by talking about how I became a focus coach for women small business owners. I explained that women tend to be scattered because of all their responsibilities. It’s difficult for them to focus for any length of time on any one thing. But focus is necessary to accomplish anything.

Then Emmalou asked about the opposite of focus, “What do you think of multitasking?”

“Multitasking” is a myth,” I answered, and explained why. She said she’d heard it described as “a lie,” which is also true. Multitasking keeps your brain fractured between all the different tasks. It breaks your train of thought, so you can’t build up momentum on any project or task.

This led into discussing the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem can be impacted by outside variables and self-worth is more internal and fundamental. And both are impacted by having a strong inner critic. Emmalou liked my perspective on the inner critic not being a bad guy, but fulfilling a role that a person has outgrown.

Emmalou asked how a person could improve their self-worth. I answered that being kinder to oneself and being mindful helped to support and build self-worth. At the end of the conversation, I shared three simple steps on how to be kinder to yourself.

Because of Emmalou’s background, expertise and knowledge, I loved talking with her about this subject. I could have gone on for hours, but we had to fit into the podcast’s time frame. But I have articles on this topic here and on my website to help you reclaim your worth. And Emmalou has articles on her blog to help you become a better person, and thus, a better parent.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How Are You Programming Your Inner GPS?

How Are You Programming Your Inner GPS?

You have an inner GPS that guides you to your goal or vision, just as an external GPS will tell you the route to take to a destination. You program your inner GPS either deliberately or inadvertently, and it will keep you on course or take you off it. But you can correct its course by staying aware of your direction. Learn the 3 things to stay aware of as you progress towards your vision, and how they program your inner GPS.

Transcript:

I’m sure you know what a GPS or Global Positioning System is, right? It’s a device that you use, usually in a car, to direct you to your destination. You decide where you want to end up, program that into the GPS, and it calculates the best route to get you there. Then, step by step, the GPS tells you the route to take.

You also have an inner GPS that you program to guide you to a goal you select. Your inner GPS operates on the vision of what you want, and then your GPS figures out how to get you there. Very similar process to the GPS you use in your vehicle.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach. I’d like to share the 3 things, after your vision that you use to program your inner GPS.

What if you’re not keeping your attention on your vision? Maybe you’re afraid you won’t be able to achieve it, or you get distracted by something else along the way. Your GPS operates on where you aim your attention.

There’s a saying, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If your attention strays from your vision, you have effectively reprogrammed your inner GPS to wherever you’re redirecting your focus. It may or may not be where you’ve consciously chosen to go.

You can determine whether or not you’re on course to your vision. You’ll have landmarks, or goals, along the way that you know you should be passing or achieving. If you find you’re off course, check if you’ve unknowingly changed your GPS’s programming.

1. Where has your attention been? Has it been on your desired destination or on something else? Have you not been keeping your attention on where you want to go, or have you been distracted?

2. What’s your attitude about your vision? Do you want it badly enough to work towards it? Or are you afraid of the changes it would bring? 

3. What actions have you been taking? Are they ones that propel you towards your vision or to some other destination?

Constantly monitor your attention, attitudes and actions, which all combine to program your inner GPS with your vision. When you assess them and they’re all aligned, then your inner GPS will keep you on course to your destination.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Update Your Internal GPS to Reach Your Vision.