Aug 152017
 

Your motivation causes you to take action every day. Sometimes, you want something that doesn’t fit with who you are. In that case, you either achieve your goals or avoid them. Learn 3 tips to align your motivation with what will work for you.



Transcript:
When I talk about motivation in this context, I’m not talking about it as emotional inspiration to get you to make changes. I’m talking about basic motivation, the kind that causes you to take action in everyday situations. Do your inherent motives motivate you to achieve the goals you think you want?

For instance, I had a friend who wanted to be a runner. He’d always pictured himself as a runner, had bought the shoes, read books on it. But actually getting himself out the door to do it… wasn’t happening. It wasn’t right for him. Instead, he found that he preferred the comfort and community of an indoor gym. He had to align his personality and motives with what worked for him.

All you have to do to notice your motives is to look at your life. Are you doing what it is you want to get you where you want to go? If not, check what your motivation might be. You may be wanting something that doesn’t fit with your personality. And since it’s so out of your comfort zone, and out of character, you won’t fulfill it.

However, consider what you can do to satisfy that desire. Scale it back or shift it somehow. When you do follow-up after a networking meeting, if making phone calls makes you cringe, send cards instead. If you want to be an oil painter, but the smell of the paint makes you nauseous, switch to acrylic’s or watercolor. There’s more than one way to climb a mountain.

My coaching tip for you is to:
1st – assess what you truly want.
2nd – become aware of your actions towards it.
3rd – pick a way to achieve it that works for you.
When you align your motives to actions that are natural for you, you’ll be much happier and more successful.

Read the accompanying article Are Your Motives Clear?

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Aug 102017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

For awhile on my Facebook Business page, someone I knew made belittling and insulting comments. From his remarks, it was obvious he had read only the title of my post, didn’t have any knowledge of the topic nor had read the content. Over time, instead of consistently sharing an idea or article to serve my audience, I posted less and less. My unconscious motivation was to avoid his harassment and not subject my other readers to his attacks. This action was not in my best interest and sabotaged my efforts to share subjects of interest with my followers.

MotivationAre your actions matching up with what you want? Mine weren’t. If not, it’s time to look at what’s motivating you and compare it to the outcomes you desire. That’s what I had to do, once I became aware of what I was doing. To eliminate the aggravation, I banned him from the page. Since it’s public, he can read the page but he can’t interact on it.

Napoleon Hill said, “Your every act is the result of a given cause—your motives.” Your motivation may come from earlier in your life, and you haven’t updated it to support you in the present day. Mine came from childhood when I didn’t want to offend anyone. This time, I decided it was better to risk upsetting this one person than it was to stop reaching out to my followers.

The motivation you had when you were younger may have been beneficial, but the way you execute it now isn’t working for you. For instance, being a class clown brought Joe good attention in high school, but interferes with his job as an adult. Instead of entertaining his boss, he gets written up for distracting his coworkers and not meeting his deadlines. His motivation is to get acknowledgement, but the behavior isn’t fulfilling its purpose anymore.

Or consider when the football star was a bully in high school, it brought him admiration. But in his life now, it doesn’t get him respect, which is what he craves. Instead, he alienates the very people he wants to impress.

Conversely, good intentions can lead to bad results. The grade A student in school, who kept her head down and studied hard, got good grades in school. Teachers praised her for being so quiet and unassuming. But as an adult, it keeps her from taking credit for her work or putting herself forward for advancement.

And then there’s the big sister who was commended for taking care of her younger siblings. But now, when she takes care of everyone, they deplete her energy and bank account. Both of these women had positive motivations and behaviors that were appropriate when they were young. But when they got older, the same type of actions no longer benefited them.

Most motivations operate unconsciously. You’re not aware of why you’re doing what you’re doing. Your motivation may be valid, but the way you fulfill it may be an outdated remnant of the past. It’s important to get clear on the reason that’s driving your actions so you can obtain the outcomes you want.

To recognize where you may be sabotaging yourself, and how to get your motives and actions aligned, explore these suggestions.

1. Are you disappointed, puzzled or confused about why you’re not getting the outcomes you expect? This is a signal that something is amiss. Awareness is the first step, because before you can resolve a situation, you have to acknowledge there’s a problem.

2. Examine your actions. What results have they brought you in the past, and are they bringing similar ones now? If not, then there’s a mismatch between your behavior and your desired outcome. It’s tempting to just change your actions without going deeper. But at the first sign of stress, it’s normal to return to the behavior that’s familiar. Discover what your incentive is so you can stay on track.

3. Assess the purpose behind your action. What is it trying to do for you? It may be trying to protect you or bring you recognition. You may be trying to avoid something uncomfortable, through procrastination or a search for perfection. Or you could be seeking to attract something better into your life, such as acknowledgement or friends. That reason steers your impulses.

4. Now that you know your motivation, how can you modify your beliefs and actions to receive your desired outcome? Once you’ve understood what you need to change, you have a better chance of success. Whenever you get stressed, remind yourself of why you’re changing your habits and stick to it.

Unconscious ideas and urges create situations that you don’t expect. When you get clear on your motives, you can then intentionally change the way you’re fulfilling them. It’s never easy to break with the past, but you have a greater chance of success when you clarify your reasons.

Affirmation:
I now get clear on the motives for my actions. If the way I fulfill that purpose no longer serves me, I set my intention to change it. The Universe completely supports me in my efforts to improve my life.

Watch the accompanying Coaching Tip video Are You in Alignment with Your Motivation?

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Jun 232017
 

Sparks of InsightNegative thinking is defensive or reactive. When you’re reacting from past experiences, you’re expecting the same as you got before. If you’re defensive, you’re using that as a way to protect yourself from disappointment or hurt. If you can’t be positive, at least find a way to turn the thoughts around to at least be neutral. Open up to different possibilities.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Book Review-What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business

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May 292017
 

What You Think of Me is None of My Business
by Terri Cole-Whittaker

This title would be a fantastic mantra for most of us. We spend too much time trying to please other people. In doing so, we twist ourselves out of shape, compromise our deepest beliefs, abandon and stifle our uniqueness.

This book is all about our relationship to ourselves and others and how to be true to our real selves. Ms. Cole-Whittaker systematically goes through the different areas that we restrict ourselves to gain approval, such as abundance, guilt, health, relationships, competition and dismantles our excuses for doing so.

In her chapter on “Everyone Can Win,” she addresses the dissatisfaction of employees, and gives guidance to them and their bosses about how to improve their fulfillment.

Each chapter ends with some self-awareness questions and strategies, and includes three affirmations to implement the changes. This book will change the way you think about every area of your life. And as we know, when you change the way you think, your life changes in response.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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May 192017
 

Sunset Crater, Flagstaff AZHow to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions
Unfortunately, when we’re feeling down, it colors our opinions about ourselves and our lives. And then those thoughts inspire our decisions and actions, which generally are detrimental to our lives. Learning our negative triggers, and having strategies in place, can stop that downward spiral. This article gives some tips and techniques to use to break that negative cycle.

Complaining Is Bad For Your Health, According To Science
Not only is it unpleasant to be around a complainer, it can become a habit with negative consequences. Constant negativity can take a toll on your physical health as well as your mental health. Here are some reasons that will make you think twice about going down that path.

Your Brain Actually Shrinks While You Sleep To Help You Learn
While you sleep, your brain rests and prepare for the next day. You aren’t preoccupied with external stimuli, and your brain can normalize itself so you can learn new things. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, this article could easily give you some motivation to do so.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Apr 212017
 

Sparks of Insight“Divine ideas flow through me at all times. I rejoice in them and am guided as to how to put them in my life. I am provided with everything I need to fulfill them in my life.”

Everything we have in life started with an idea in someone’s mind, from making tomato sauce to the microwave. Every improvement in your life began as an idea that you had that things could be better. These ideas are always flooding though you, you just have to open your mind to receive them and then act on them.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Apr 132017
 

10 Difficult Life Situations And How To Make The Best Out Of Them
No one’s life is perfect, smooth and harmonious all the time. Life is messy and not all situations are under our control. We lose people and circumstances change. The best we can do is take them philosophically and find the best in them. Here are 10 life situations that many of us deal with and how to approach them.

Grand Canyon National Park - Near Yaki PointThe Psychological Strategy That Will Up Your Game in Anything You Apply It To
In order to change your experience, you need to change your attitude behind your current behavior. How important is it? What will it bring you? Here are some tips to help you achieve your goals more easily and quickly.

13 Realistic Self-Care Tips That Will Keep You Calm In Stressful Times
Everyone gets stressed and overwhelmed at times. To decompress, you need to take care of yourself so you stay mentally and physically healthy. Meditation and deep breathing are helpful. But these tips are ones that everyone will enjoy and be able to implement without any training. For instance, one of the tips is to zone out watching TV.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Mar 092017
 

Grand Canyon Sunset - East of Yaki PointUnwanted Situations Will Keep Happening Until You Learn Your Lesson
Making mistakes is a part of being human. By making a mistake, we have an opportunity to learn from it and do better next time. Sometimes the lessons come with subtle clues that we overlook. This article is one person’s experience with learning some hard lessons after things had fallen apart.

5 Reasons Why You’re Good Enough As You Are
Many of my clients have said, “I don’t feel like I’m enough.” These feelings aren’t based in reality. They come from statements made to and about us by others that we accepted uncritically. They’re beliefs that can be changed. Learn some tips to find better beliefs that are more rational.

9 Secrets That Will Help You Achieve Your Success
There is no secret sauce to success. It’s just a lot of work and doing things that are necessary for success. You’ll have to overcome limiting beliefs and motivate yourself. Here are some tips that will help you fulfill your innate potential for success.

Mar 082017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Self-esteem is a basic necessity for all success in personal and professional life. When you like and respect yourself, then you’re likely to make the choices that lead to creating the outcomes that you want. Your self-worth is created by your attitudes about yourself based on what ideas you accepted as a child and the things you tell yourself as an adult.

Your self-image plays a large part in the development of your self-esteem. Your self-image is formulated from your experiences, judgments, labels you’ve accepted, and your talents or your liabilities. These have helped to shape your beliefs about yourself that feed into your self-worth.
Woman with outstretched arms

You always act like the person you believe yourself to be. How do you see yourself? Do you perceive yourself as a competent and dynamic individual? Or do you doubt yourself and your abilities? Do you focus on what you’ve done wrong, or what didn’t turn out the way you wanted? This will erode your self-image and contribute to a low self-esteem.

If you have a strong, healthy self-image, then you make healthy decisions that support your vision, dreams and goals. You’ll exercise to stay fit, eat healthy, and avoid substances that would impair your health. These choices may be difficult or inconvenient, such as quitting smoking, ending a one-sided relationship, or finding another job that gives you a better chance to advance in your career. But you protect your health and well-being because you view yourself as someone who is proactive.

Your self-image forms the filter through which you view yourself and how you respond to situations around you. It demands that you remain consistent with your concept of yourself. Suppose you perceive yourself as a supportive person, who likes to make everyone happy. If so, to be congruent, you won’t stand up for yourself when you’re taken advantage of, even at the cost of your welfare.

For instance, Clarisse owned a service-based business. Initially, her attitude was that she offered a service that happened to be a business. With that approach, she was supportive, sympathetic and enabling of everyone who came to her. But her customers took advantage of her after she’d done work for them. After promising to pay, they reneged, saying they couldn’t afford it. Her business began to flounder.

To be successful, she had to shift her view of herself as a businessperson. She realized she wouldn’t be able to help anyone if she wasn’t in business. She changed her inner position to one of being a businessperson who provides a service. With this outlook, she made decisions based on what was good for the business.

To fulfill her desire to be of service to those who needed it, she selectively provided her service pro-bono to a client every once in a while. But they no longer were the majority of her clientele. Her business began to thrive.

Your self-image is malleable. You can impact it, making it stronger and more effective. But to do so, you’ll have to let go of some imbedded, old ideas. They may even be ones that you value, but they’re not helping you or your self-esteem.

Clarisse had to let go of her self-concept of being of service to everyone who needed her. That way was destroying her business. One major change she made was insisting on payment up front. She also set and kept boundaries, in the form of policies. If someone violated a policy, she refused to work with them. And she refused to take responsibility for others’ decisions that prevented them from living up to their agreements with her.

If you want to have more impact, be more effective and more successful, the first place to start is with improving your self-image. Here are a few suggestions of what to do.

1. Let go of the judgments and labels from your childhood. They belong in the past and don’t reflect who you are now. Besides, they were simply someone’s, usually mistaken, opinion and don’t define you in the present.

2. Stop of focusing on what’s wrong with you.
You’ll always be able to find something to criticize in yourself or what you do. Break that habit as it’s not helpful. Instead, focus on what’s right about you.

3. Make a list compliments that you’ve received.
Don’t dismiss them as untrue or someone just being nice. Accept that they’re true of you.

No matter what your dreams, you’ll always make decisions, and act, in alignment with your self-image. To become the person you want to be, and achieve your dreams, you’ll need to change it so it supports what you want in your life. You can do it. Just consider the life that awaits you and stay focused on your dreams.

Affirmation:
The Universe loves and approves of me as I am. I accept my true worth. It’s safe to let go of old concepts that aren’t true of who I am. I now acknowledge the things that I do that are good and right. People like me, and I accept that I am likeable. I now shift my self-image to reflect the person I want to be.

Watch the Monthly Mindset Coaching Tip Video, Meditation to Improve Your Self-Image, that was inspired by this article.

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Feb 282017
 

Stake Your Claim: Exploring the Gold Mine Within
By Emmet Fox

This book was the first one by this author that I ever read. The practical, spiritual advice from it made him one of my favorite metaphysical authors. Dr. Fox was a well-known spiritual teacher and his insight is timeless.

The title of the book refers to staking your claim to the good that you want in your life. Short, to the point essays about peace, prosperity, empowerment and much more form the chapters of this book. Each essay addresses a different subject, and stands alone in its wisdom.

The counsel in this book will uplift your thoughts, help you gain a more positive, spiritual outlook on what ever difficulty you might be experiencing, and help you live a richer, fuller life. Because of the short essays, this is the perfect book to read in the morning to get the day started right, just before going to sleep, or at any other time when you only have a few minutes to spare.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart