Apr 132018
 

Sparks of Insight“No part of my mind is affected by others’ negativity. I remain connected with my True Self. I recognize that they have their own issues, and those problems have nothing to do with me. ”

So many times, you’re influenced by other people’s negative moods. It can be hard not to be, and it’s tempting to try to change them so that you feel better. But they have a right to feel bad, and they have to learn how to work their way through it for themselves. It’s their issue, not yours. Many times, trying to change their mind will just make the problem last longer or get worse. Detach from it (and them, if you need to), let them have their mood, and don’t let yourself get caught up in it.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Apr 062018
 

Sparks of InsightWhat are you doing to show yourself that you matter? Are you indulging yourself with self-pity, not standing up for yourself, eating too much, indulging in unhealthy substances, etc.? Or are you making sure you get enough sleep, exercise, eat properly, socialize with people who treat you well? If you don’t care for yourself, why would anyone else? Life treats you the way that you treat yourself. Take steps that show you that your health, well-being and peace of mind is important. Only when you treat yourself as if you count will Life reflect that attitude.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Apr 052018
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Message_Bubbles-2103156Caroline was a massage therapist who worked in a spa. The spa did all the marketing and scheduled her clients for her, and paid her per client. But Caroline thought she could have more freedom and get more clients on her own. She left the spa, and opened her own office.

But she discovered that she hated the administrative chores the spa had done for her, such as scheduling, paying utilities, and marketing. This caused her to be chronically forgetful. She’d forget to take business cards when networking, pay her bills, or write down appointments, which caused her to miss them. Although her clients knew and liked her, they learned not to trust her and they went elsewhere. Because of her refusal to work on the details of her business, she made less than she had at the spa.

Finally, one of her friends confronted her and said that Caroline’s excuses were clues she was leaving herself. Caroline realized that she really just wanted to give massages. She gave up her business and returned to the spa, where she could let others handle the tasks she despised. She needed the structure the spa gave her. Even though she was giving up control, she was gaining the freedom she’d craved.

Do you chronically defend yourself, to yourself or others about why you didn’t do what you had agreed to do? At your core, you just didn’t want to do whatever it was. Something within you was preventing it. You’re giving yourself a message that you haven’t listened to yet.

When you use excuses, you’re giving the Law of Attraction conflicting information. On one side, you’ve agreed to something, and on the other, you are reluctant to follow through. By not being clear, the Law of Attraction won’t know what you really want. You’ll just idle in neutral until you decide which way you really want to go.

There are times when excuses are valid. For example, if you had a flat tire on the way to work. Or an important phone call delayed your leaving for an appointment. Events that are unexpected and unavoidable are legitimate reasons why you weren’t able to fulfill a promise. But the question to ask yourself is, are your explanations reasonable or are they just trying to get you out of trouble?

The stories you tell yourself are hints as to how motivated you are to achieve your goals, dreams and vision. They may be telling you how you feel about your commitment or your direction. Here are some of the possible messages your excuses are communicating:

Fear. You’re afraid of the next step or where it may take you. Or you’re not confident that you know how to accomplish your task, goal or agreement. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Generally, when you bring the fear into your awareness, you realize it has little validity. Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to gain that confidence?” It could be something as simple as learning a new skill.

Not the right goal/dream/vision.
You could be going in the wrong direction. Or your task, vision or your motivation to achieve it isn’t strong enough. When you find yourself not taking the actions you need to, ask yourself if you’re ambivalent over your goal. If there’s a part of you holding back, you need to address its concerns. Are you really committed to your dream or vision? If not, choose another one or scale back on your current one.

It’s a “should.” You think you “should” want a particular goal. Others have told you that it’s the right one for you. But it doesn’t really resonate with you, or you felt pressured into doing it. This one is especially true when you’ve agreed to do something you really didn’t want to do, such as participate in a charity event. Is it really your priority, or someone else’s? To simplify your life, decline someone else’s objective for you and focus on what you really want

These are just a few of the excuses we make. The only way you’re going to fulfill your goals is if you transcend your excuses. Listen to the message they’re telling you. When you hear it, and change your responses, you’ll be happier and on track to your dream.

Affirmation:
I now become aware of the excuses I make. I realize that they’re giving me powerful messages about what’s holding me back. Since the Universe only wants the best for me, it must be my beliefs and attitudes that are sabotaging me. By understanding the messages I’m giving myself, I’m able to change my beliefs and thus change my responses to support my dreams.

Watch the accompanying video, Stop Believing Your Excuses.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Mar 292018
 

Step Through Woods4 Proven Ways to Bounce Back From Failure
Setbacks are normal, and are actually teaching moments. The only time you fail is when you quit trying. That said, it can be difficult to get back into the swing when you feel you swung and missed. Part of the ability to do it more easily has to do with learned behavior, and part has to do with personality. The tips in this article can help you recover, learn from the experience and try again.

Are You a Goal-Getter?
When you set a goal, you may be uncertain about your chances of success in achieving it. But you think there’s at least a good possibility for it to happen. Wouldn’t you like to increase your odds of success? This article shares 7 steps to achieving the goals you want to accomplish.

How to Program Your Mind to Kick the Bad Habit
We all have bad habits of one kind or another. Sometimes, we excuse ourselves when we try to overcome them and don’t succeed. They’re just so much a part of us and it’s hard to change them. They exist because at some time in the past they helped us. But that time is past and if you want to eliminate them, use the 3 steps in this article.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Mar 232018
 

Woman with outstretched arms This Is Your Brain Under Hypnosis
As a hypnotherapist, this article was especially interesting to me. Unfortunately, so many people have misconceptions about this process, including that it doesn’t exist. Now, neuroscientists are taking an interest in and researching it. They’re beginning to understand its mechanisms. This article shows an experiment with one of those mechanisms.

You Are What You Think
Neuroscience tells us to “Be careful what you wish for,” because you may get it. Your brain follows your attention, and will take you where it thinks you want to go. This applies to both positive goals and to negative thoughts. This article gives you 4 steps to creating your perfect world and solving problems using the power of thought.

“You’ve got this!”: How “You Statements” enhance self-regulation
Life is a giant game of self-regulation. If you can manage yourself and your thoughts, then you’ll have a better life. However, it’s not easy to develop and act on these skills. Positive and supportive self-talk are very helpful in sticking to it. Research is showing that giving yourself positive support in the second or third person is much better than just saying, “I.” Learn how your inner dialogue helps you to improve your self-management skills.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Mar 162018
 

Step Through Woods6 Tactics Narcissists Will Use To Silence You
Only a true professional can diagnose a mental disorder. That said, we all should recognize when people try to manipulate us. Narcissism is one of those disorders that can be relatively benign or all the way to downright toxic. Learning about their behaviors can help you spot who they are and what they’re doing so you can take care of yourself. And many of these tactics are also used by bullies or controlling people.

Neuroscience: This Simple 10-Minute Exercise Will Give Your Brain an Immediate and Lasting Boost
We all want our brains to work at their best, especially when we’re making a decision or working on a project. But sometimes, we feel like we’re wading through molasses. Scientists have found a quick exercise that can give you a 14 percent gain in cognitive performance. And that could make all the difference.

How To Rewire Your Brain For Happiness
You can literally create new neural pathways that lead to compassion, gratitude, and joy instead of anxiety, fear, and anger. It does require conscious effort, but all change starts with that. If you knew you could experience more positive emotions, wouldn’t you make the effort? This article gives you some direction on how to do that.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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Feb 222018
 

Sunset Crater plant How We Can Help People By Saying ‘No’
When someone asks you for help, as an entrepreneur, “No” can be a gift for them and for you. For one thing, you’re too busy to help everyone who asks for it. Letting them know why you’re declining to help can be more valuable than if you’d spoon-fed them information.

A neuroscientist who studies decision-making reveals the most important choice you can make
Apparently, the surest way to maximize happiness has nothing to do with experiences, material goods, or personal philosophy. Instead, it comes more from the company you keep for some surprising reasons.

3 Toxic Thinking Habits That Feed Your Insecurity
What makes you feel insecure about yourself, your relationship, or your life? Surprise! The culprit is your very own mind. This article reveals three toxic thinking habits that keep you feeling insecure, plus offers three ways to feel more confident.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Jan 262018
 

Sparks of InsightPeople tend to think that all stress is bad. But what is bad is chronic stress or situations that overwhelm your inner resources. Some stress is beneficial, because it helps push you to discover new abilities and solutions. Just as you exercise to build muscle, some stress stretches you to reach farther. The secret is to know when you’re being stretched too thin or pushed beyond your limits. It’s at those times when you need to take steps to retreat and retrench. Meditate, relax, take a walk, reduce some of the pressure you put on yourself. Because too much stress distresses you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Jan 192018
 

Sunset Crater, Flagstaff AZCreating the Right Attitude for Success
If you’re not reaching the kind of success you want, you need to assess where you’re holding yourself back. It may mean you need to develop some new skills. But more likely, it’s a result of your attitude. Believe it or not, having the right attitude for success is a skill. And it’s not just about having a positive one. This article covers some of the attitudes you need to readjust or cultivate to achieve success.

10 Life-Changing Tips for Highly Sensitive People
Some people love conflict and argument. They need it to feel stimulated. But then there are other people, an estimated 15-20% of the population, who are sensitive. They feel overstimulated in situations others deal with easily. There isn’t anything wrong with sensitive people. They’re just wired differently. If you’re one of those people, here are some valuable tips on how to accept yourself and start thriving.

7 Things To Do If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
Do you often feel overwhelmed with too much to do, and too little time in which to get it done? Technology promised to make life easier, but it has failed in that promise. And we’re expected to do more and more, just to keep up. So far, we can’t clone ourselves so we have more bodies to get it all done. Instead, we have to find ways to deal with the unrealistic demands. Here are some suggestions on how to approach your life if you feel overwhelmed.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Make Yourself a Priority to Reduce Overwhelm

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Nov 152017
 

How many roles do you fill? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? This contributes to a feeling of overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. Learn a couple of techniques of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.



Transcript:

How many roles do you have? Mother, father, wife, husband, sister/brother, business owner, worker, manager, daughter, son, and on and on? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? Like you have too many people who want you to help them, or want something from you, and they all want it now? This contributes to a feeling of stress and overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. And trying to can impact your personal and professional life. I’d like to give a couple of suggestions of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. For almost 30 years, I’ve been a hypnotherapist. Clients came to see me to create change in their lives. Over time, I discovered that they had to also have a vision of where they wanted to end up with that change to be truly successful. Now, as a vision strategist, I help women entrepreneurs get clear, focused and get back in control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always fighting against being a people pleaser. In the past, my needs took second place to what others wanted. If a group I was volunteered for asked me to be part of committee, I’d generally say “yes,” even when the time involved impacted my work or well being. The wake-up call came when I got so over involved with different organizations that my health was affected. That’s when I developed the ability to say “no.” I realized I couldn’t be all things to all people, and still be there for myself. I couldn’t please everyone. Can you?

For instance, you know you can’t satisfy all of your potential customers. Some will just be more trouble than they’re worth. You’ll have to choose your values and peace of mind over what they want from you. Setting boundaries on your time may be your first step. For instance, you don’t answer the phone outside of office hours. Or, if you need to be on call, you establish some rules for customers who abuse the privilege.

In my first years as a hypnotherapist and coach, I learned not to give my home number to clients (this was in the years before cell phones). Too many called in the evening, just to talk. So what kind of boundaries can you set? It’s just another way of saying “no.”

If people in your personal life demand what you struggle to give, it’s important to use both of those strategies. Learn to say “no” to requests that you know will mean you have to sacrifice something important to you. And establish boundaries for when you will and won’t be available, what you’re willing to do and not do. Especially if they’re things that the person asking can do for themselves. You can’t please everyone, and you need to take care of your well being or you won’t be able to be there for others.

Years ago, I had to end my association with some of the organizations I’d been involved with. They couldn’t accept that I wasn’t at their beck and call anymore. It was hard, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if my health hadn’t been involved. But learning to say “no” was a valuable lesson. It’s one that has served me well in my personal and professional life since.

What can you say “no” to? How can you set boundaries in your life? These are very important abilities to develop. They allow you to prioritize what’s important for you. And when you do that, you’ll reduce your stress and have more peace of mind.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I really encourage you to practice these techniques. I know they’ll make a difference in your life.

Read the accompanying article, Conquer the Distress of Overwhelm.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.