Nov 152017
 

How many roles do you fill? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? This contributes to a feeling of overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. Learn a couple of techniques of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.



Transcript:

How many roles do you have? Mother, father, wife, husband, sister/brother, business owner, worker, manager, daughter, son, and on and on? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? Like you have too many people who want you to help them, or want something from you, and they all want it now? This contributes to a feeling of stress and overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. And trying to can impact your personal and professional life. I’d like to give a couple of suggestions of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. For almost 30 years, I’ve been a hypnotherapist. Clients came to see me to create change in their lives. Over time, I discovered that they had to also have a vision of where they wanted to end up with that change to be truly successful. Now, as a vision strategist, I help women entrepreneurs get clear, focused and get back in control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always fighting against being a people pleaser. In the past, my needs took second place to what others wanted. If a group I was volunteered for asked me to be part of committee, I’d generally say “yes,” even when the time involved impacted my work or well being. The wake-up call came when I got so over involved with different organizations that my health was affected. That’s when I developed the ability to say “no.” I realized I couldn’t be all things to all people, and still be there for myself. I couldn’t please everyone. Can you?

For instance, you know you can’t satisfy all of your potential customers. Some will just be more trouble than they’re worth. You’ll have to choose your values and peace of mind over what they want from you. Setting boundaries on your time may be your first step. For instance, you don’t answer the phone outside of office hours. Or, if you need to be on call, you establish some rules for customers who abuse the privilege.

In my first years as a hypnotherapist and coach, I learned not to give my home number to clients (this was in the years before cell phones). Too many called in the evening, just to talk. So what kind of boundaries can you set? It’s just another way of saying “no.”

If people in your personal life demand what you struggle to give, it’s important to use both of those strategies. Learn to say “no” to requests that you know will mean you have to sacrifice something important to you. And establish boundaries for when you will and won’t be available, what you’re willing to do and not do. Especially if they’re things that the person asking can do for themselves. You can’t please everyone, and you need to take care of your well being or you won’t be able to be there for others.

Years ago, I had to end my association with some of the organizations I’d been involved with. They couldn’t accept that I wasn’t at their beck and call anymore. It was hard, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if my health hadn’t been involved. But learning to say “no” was a valuable lesson. It’s one that has served me well in my personal and professional life since.

What can you say “no” to? How can you set boundaries in your life? These are very important abilities to develop. They allow you to prioritize what’s important for you. And when you do that, you’ll reduce your stress and have more peace of mind.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I really encourage you to practice these techniques. I know they’ll make a difference in your life.

Read the accompanying article, Conquer the Distress of Overwhelm.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Nov 102017
 

Grand Canyon Train TracksWhen You Understand Stress You Can Manage It
To survive in this world, you need to learn what stress is and how you can handle it. This is especially true for entrepreneurs. We all know the damage stress can do to our mental and physical health. There is a purpose for stress, and when you understand what that is, you can take steps to deal with it.

How People Make Decisions That Are Bad For Them
It’s not so much how people make bad decisions, but why they make them. Bad decisions may seem that the right idea at the time, but they can seriously impact our lives. There are all sorts of reasons we do make decisions that are bad for us, and this article explores three of them. It also gives three keys to consistently make great decisions.
[mindset, intentionally make decisions with self-knowledge]

So Apparently There Are 4 Kinds of Introversion
Introversion is a misunderstood personality trait. Most people believe it means that a person is shy. That’s not necessarily the case. There are shy extroverts, just as there are shy introverts. This article describes a theory that there are four types of introverts: social, thinking, anxious and restrained. Only one of them could be associated with being shy. The article also includes a quiz for introverts who are curious which type of introvert they might be.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Nov 022017
 

Rainbow and Main Falls at Victoria FallsStress Kills! 5 Ways to Keep Your Stress Levels Low
It’s not just determination and hard work that separate the successful from the unsuccessful. The ability to manage stress is what sets apart successful entrepreneurs from not-so-successful ones. This article uses the advice from business people who run multi-million dollar companies on how they deal with their stress.

The Best Way to React When Someone Is Shouting at You in Anger
Yelling is not healthy for relationships and its results do not yield long term positive results. When someone yells at you, they’re trying to intimidate and bully you. This article examines the reasons behind yelling, and how you can defuse the situation.

Is Meaning The Path To Happiness?
Are you looking for happiness? Most people are, but look in the wrong places. The pursuit of pleasure may give you transient pleasure, but it will fade quickly. Instead, explore the four pillars of meaning that this article mentions. This will bring you greater fulfillment and satisfaction.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Oct 262017
 

GC-RimTrail-sm-09237 Incredible Techniques to Easily Solve the Root of Any Problem
Everyone has bad habits, and makes the same mistakes over and over. Generally, we treat the symptoms and play whack-a-mole with them. To solve your problems, you need to find out what’s causing them and be proactive. Here are several time tested solutions to get to the why.

Five Habits Of Controlling People
Controlling people are those who need others to behave and respond in the ways they want them to. As a matter of fact, they insist on it. Learning how to determine when someone is trying to control you is important for your well being. Here are some of the ways they try to control you so you can recognize what’s happening.

10 Questions to Help You Cultivate Authentic Grit
Grit enables you to pursue goals, even when the going gets tough. Authentic grit, according to the author, also inspires and motivates others. This quality can be cultivated if you want something badly enough. The questions he offers help you to determine what’s important enough to you to persist.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Oct 192017
 

Grand Canyon Rim TrailHow to Always Solve a Problem Once and for All
Many people aim for a band-aid solution, without ever getting to the cause of a problem. Unfortunately, the band-aids never hold and they’re back at the starting point again. This article gives a couple of techniques to easily find the cause of a problem. And once you have the cause, you can find a permanent solution.

Seven Ways to Overcome Inertia and Get Yourself Unstuck
It’s hard to break habits and get moving in a different direction. This article shares ways to overcome your reluctance to change and to help build momentum towards achieving your goals. For instance, one of the suggestions is to shock yourself into change by asking, “What are the consequences of not doing so?”

15 Things to Remember When You Don’t Believe in Yourself
Almost everyone had periods of self-doubt. It can rob you of courage, confidence and happiness. Rarely is it beneficial. But it’s a part of life. Just don’t get stuck there. When you begin to doubt yourself, use these as inspiration to encourage yourself.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Are You Putting the Cart Before the Horse?

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Oct 052017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“Action without planning is the cause of every failure.” Alec Mackenzie, time management expert

Quote-Mackenzie-Action

Last year, my husband and I hiked a mile-and-a-half down the South Kaibab trail in the Grand Canyon. We planned and trained for almost a year. When the day arrived, we had the right boots and equipment, and enough food and water to sustain us. Unfortunately, many people on the trail hadn’t had the same foresight.

There are warnings all over the park and at the trailhead about how much water a hiker needs. But sadly, many hikers we saw took only a fraction of the water they needed. We witnessed several people in distress due to dehydration: weak, tired or dizzy. A family fought over their child’s small bottle of water, because they’d already drunk their allotment. Two women hiked the dirt and rock trail, that was hundreds of feet above the canyon floor, in high heels. One turned ankle in the wrong place could have been disastrous.

These visitors let their enthusiasm overrun their common sense. Instead of thinking ahead, they impetuously jumped into an experience and suffered for it. Fortunately, most Grand Canyon visitors survive with just blisters, sore muscles and a headache from dehydration. But they could have avoided those consequences if they’d just heeded the warnings and considered what they’d need for a safe hike.

Unfortunately, many people act in a similar way when they get an idea. They leap into action before they even know what to do. In our Western culture, action is idolized. Supposedly, if you just take action, any action, you’ll be successful. Action is considered a panacea and always brings you results, so the thought goes. But how many people do you know who are so busy that they barely have a personal life, but they’re not achieving their goals?

Some people want to let the Universe guide their way. They don’t have any direction, and just react to whatever shows up in their path. In this case, the Universe is simply acting on their strongest desires. And those desires change from day to day. Even when you let the Universe guide you, have a vision of where you want to end up. You can always intend, “This or something better.” Then the Law of Attraction can draw what you need to manifest your greater good.

Have you ever seen a skyrocket firecracker flying through the air? It spirals all over the place because it has thrust, but no guidance system. Most of the time, it goes up to explode in a beautiful display, but there are occasions when it swirls down to the ground and sets something on fire. This is what it’s like when you jump into action before developing a plan. You’re probably going to go up, but you don’t have any control over your direction. And you also have a good chance of crashing and burning.

The same is true if you have a plan, but you don’t know where you want to end up. If you have no vision, it’s like throwing darts at a target while blindfolded. You don’t know where your target is, so you waste your energy and ammunition. This happens if you have a marketing plan, before you settle on a niche. You spray the consumers with information, but because it’s not aimed properly, it’s ineffective. Instead, you need to find the right people for your product or service then spend your energy on connecting with them.

There are times when jumping into action, without a plan, can be helpful. But it has to be strategic. You want to build up some momentum, stir up some information, gain clarity or some other specific reason. Doing that is a plan in itself. You know the results you want from your actions.

Conversely, you need to keep from getting stuck in the planning process. Your plan isn’t going to ever be perfect. You’ll tweak it along the way. And there will be times when it will change completely, as you get feedback or knowledge. Making progress is better than perfecting your plan.

When you’ve decided to create something new in your life, be intentional about it. Don’t “Put the cart before the horse.” Keep your priorities straight and make sure you have some sort of plan. Life can be treacherous and catch you off guard. If you’re going for a trek in unfamiliar territory, isn’t it a good idea to heed the warnings, make sure you have the right equipment and plenty of resources to sustain you? This isn’t just good advice for the Grand Canyon, but also for every area of your life. Make sure your horse draws your cart, and you’ll make faster progress.

Affirmation:

I decide what direction I want to go in, and the Universe then lights my path. It ensures that I receive whatever I need for the fulfillment of my desire. I stay on track and take the steps I need towards my vision. Each step illumines the next one. And the Universe provides me with whatever is for my Highest Good.

Watch the complementary video Think Before You Leap.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.

Book Review-Healing the Shame that Binds You

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Oct 032017
 

Healing the Shame that Binds You (Recovery Classics)
by John Bradshaw

Many people grow up in dysfunctional families that have caused them to feel ashamed of natural needs, desires, and sometimes of just being. This results in their not feeling worthy, effective, or mattering. Healing The Shame That Binds You not only addresses the core issues behind the toxic shame that people feel, explains how it formed and where it comes from, it also gives valuable direction on how to heal it.

Most of us have been exposed to some sort of toxic shame, and carry it with us. This shame prevents us from living up to our potential, accepting ourselves, and accepting all the good Life has to offer us. The author examines these issues, to give the reader a deep understanding on how shame formed, different ways it manifests (such as panic attacks, addictions, and compulsions), and steps to take to resolve the problem.

This book isn’t just one of theory and information. It includes meditations, exercises, new behaviors to practice, and affirmations. Different methods of healing are explained and demonstrated. Anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional home, or who absorbed a sense of shame would benefit from reading this valuable source.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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Sep 212017
 

Grand Canyon Train TracksAre Our Workplaces Getting Ruder?
Rudeness, disrespect or insensitive behavior at work affects job performance in a major way, and its incidence is increasing. It harms your relationships and your mental and physical health. But incivility doesn’t just impact us at work. We experience it in our private lives, too. This article gives 4 suggestions on how to deal with the issue at work. But these approaches can also be used in other areas of our lives.

5 Practical Steps to Stop Procrastination for Good
If you’re a procrastinator, you tend to delay acting until a deadline is looming. Unfortunately, that generally means you do sub-par work and never live up to your potential. This article, paraphrasing a TED Talk on the subject, gives a clever metaphor for what happens in a procrastinators brain. It also gives 5 steps to derail procrastination and a link to the TED Talk the author mentions.

Three Ways to Put A Positive Spin on (Almost) Anything
We know that research has shown that being positive is good for the mind and body. But there are just times when stuff happens, and it becomes incredibly difficult. The author of this article experienced such a period. She got through it by using 3 strategies. They’re ones that I’ve used for many decades and teach my clients. They work and are proven to improve your mood and attitude in a short time.

Sparks of Insight

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Sep 152017
 

Sparks of InsightWhere are you giving away your power? Where is your power going? Are you letting others manipulate you through guilt, anger? Are you letting some unhealthy substance control your actions, or not acting in healthy ways? Are you feeling helpless or hopeless? All of these are symptoms of your handing your power over to someone or something else. You have separated yourself from your Higher Self. You have a right to reclaim yourself and your power. Think about where you’ve given your power away and say, “I reclaim my power!”

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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Sep 082017
 

RainbowyClouds-yikrp55aT-smMake Someone Else’s Day, and 3 Other Ways to De-Stress
Unfortunately, we live in a highly stressed world and many are just trying to survive. Although it’s important to be effective at your job, it doesn’t have to impair your mental, emotional and physical well being. This article suggests 4 ways to reduce your stress and improve your happiness.

Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know
People with low self-esteem tend to be over-critical of themselves. And many people have this problem and don’t know it. This article gives some symptoms, so you can assess if you suffer from it. Only by becoming aware of the issue can you start to remedy it.

5 Ways To Stop Doubting Yourself
Self-doubt destroys reaching for your dream. It holds you back and can undermine you in ways you’re not aware of. You make excuses or avoid challenges. The opposite of self-doubt is self-confidence. This articles gives ways to eliminate self-doubt and regain your confidence so you can attain your dreams.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart