Aug 102017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

For awhile on my Facebook Business page, someone I knew made belittling and insulting comments. From his remarks, it was obvious he had read only the title of my post, didn’t have any knowledge of the topic nor had read the content. Over time, instead of consistently sharing an idea or article to serve my audience, I posted less and less. My unconscious motivation was to avoid his harassment and not subject my other readers to his attacks. This action was not in my best interest and sabotaged my efforts to share subjects of interest with my followers.

MotivationAre your actions matching up with what you want? Mine weren’t. If not, it’s time to look at what’s motivating you and compare it to the outcomes you desire. That’s what I had to do, once I became aware of what I was doing. To eliminate the aggravation, I banned him from the page. Since it’s public, he can read the page but he can’t interact on it.

Napoleon Hill said, “Your every act is the result of a given cause—your motives.” Your motivation may come from earlier in your life, and you haven’t updated it to support you in the present day. Mine came from childhood when I didn’t want to offend anyone. This time, I decided it was better to risk upsetting this one person than it was to stop reaching out to my followers.

The motivation you had when you were younger may have been beneficial, but the way you execute it now isn’t working for you. For instance, being a class clown brought Joe good attention in high school, but interferes with his job as an adult. Instead of entertaining his boss, he gets written up for distracting his coworkers and not meeting his deadlines. His motivation is to get acknowledgement, but the behavior isn’t fulfilling its purpose anymore.

Or consider when the football star was a bully in high school, it brought him admiration. But in his life now, it doesn’t get him respect, which is what he craves. Instead, he alienates the very people he wants to impress.

Conversely, good intentions can lead to bad results. The grade A student in school, who kept her head down and studied hard, got good grades in school. Teachers praised her for being so quiet and unassuming. But as an adult, it keeps her from taking credit for her work or putting herself forward for advancement.

And then there’s the big sister who was commended for taking care of her younger siblings. But now, when she takes care of everyone, they deplete her energy and bank account. Both of these women had positive motivations and behaviors that were appropriate when they were young. But when they got older, the same type of actions no longer benefited them.

Most motivations operate unconsciously. You’re not aware of why you’re doing what you’re doing. Your motivation may be valid, but the way you fulfill it may be an outdated remnant of the past. It’s important to get clear on the reason that’s driving your actions so you can obtain the outcomes you want.

To recognize where you may be sabotaging yourself, and how to get your motives and actions aligned, explore these suggestions.

1. Are you disappointed, puzzled or confused about why you’re not getting the outcomes you expect? This is a signal that something is amiss. Awareness is the first step, because before you can resolve a situation, you have to acknowledge there’s a problem.

2. Examine your actions. What results have they brought you in the past, and are they bringing similar ones now? If not, then there’s a mismatch between your behavior and your desired outcome. It’s tempting to just change your actions without going deeper. But at the first sign of stress, it’s normal to return to the behavior that’s familiar. Discover what your incentive is so you can stay on track.

3. Assess the purpose behind your action. What is it trying to do for you? It may be trying to protect you or bring you recognition. You may be trying to avoid something uncomfortable, through procrastination or a search for perfection. Or you could be seeking to attract something better into your life, such as acknowledgement or friends. That reason steers your impulses.

4. Now that you know your motivation, how can you modify your beliefs and actions to receive your desired outcome? Once you’ve understood what you need to change, you have a better chance of success. Whenever you get stressed, remind yourself of why you’re changing your habits and stick to it.

Unconscious ideas and urges create situations that you don’t expect. When you get clear on your motives, you can then intentionally change the way you’re fulfilling them. It’s never easy to break with the past, but you have a greater chance of success when you clarify your reasons.

Affirmation:
I now get clear on the motives for my actions. If the way I fulfill that purpose no longer serves me, I set my intention to change it. The Universe completely supports me in my efforts to improve my life.

Watch the accompanying Coaching Tip video Are You in Alignment with Your Motivation?

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Jul 282017
 

Woman with outstretched arms 9 Things That Make You Unlikable
Being likeable is something that you can cultivate within yourself, and can improve your performance. Being unlikable can create problems with your relationships and the way people perceive you. But some characteristics can sneak up on you. Learn what they are and how you can change them.

Meditation For Beginners: 11 Easy Tips
Numerous studies show amazing benefits for your mind, body and spirit. It reduces stress and makes you more productive. But many people don’t know how to begin this valuable practice. Here are some great tips to use to begin meditating.

Can Optimism Boost Women’s Lives?
A recent study of 70,000 women found that optimism reduces their risk of dying of all sorts of diseases by 30%. This article explores the ways these women express their optimism and how it affects their decisions. Optimism can be learned, and this article points to some ways that it can improve your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jul 252017
 

More than 99 percent of adults experience the fears of failure and rejection. They are often times caught in the trap of feeling, “I can’t, but I have to.” It affects everything from your professional to your personal life. In this video, sales trainer shares his proven 4 step formula for overcoming these fears and changing your attitude from negative to positive.

To discover your current level of self-confidence and how to take action toward building greater confidence in yourself, take Brian Tracy’s Self-Confidence Assessment.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jul 212017
 

Sparks of InsightDo you reject or abandon yourself at times? When someone verbally attacks you, do you defend yourself? Do you allow someone to take the credit for what you’ve done? Do you mentally castigate yourself for minor infractions? If you’re doing this to yourself, why would you expect others to treat you better than you do? Other people take their cues of how to treat you from you. If you aren’t standing up for yourself, against your inner judge, then other people will take advantage of you, too. What can you do to stand by and accept yourself more?

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jul 062017
 

Sunset Crater, Flagstaff AZWhat To Say To Yourself To Be Happier And More Successful
Do you have a negative voice in your head, telling you that you’re worthless, you can’t be a success, or undermining in some way? They influence your decisions and actions on a daily basis, limiting you and keeping you from fulfilling your potential. But when you can turn those negative thoughts around, they can be positive ideas to guide your life. This article gives 9 very positive self-talk scripts that you can use to flip those negative thoughts into positive ones.

Are You Wired for Resilience?
What would you do if you were assured of success? Most people are wired to avoid painful experiences, which limits them and makes their world smaller. Rather than allow the difficult situations hold you hostage, learn how to process them more quickly. Learn the skills in the article to improve your well being and bounce back from adversity.

3 Warning Signs You’re Dealing With An Aggressive Manipulator
Unfortunately, at some point, we all have to deal with manipulators. They may be coworkers, managers, or family members. They use passive-aggressive or intimidating patterns of behavior to get what they want. It can be indirect and sneaky or overt, as in a bully. This article delves into what makes them that way and the warning signs of one.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jul 052017
 

Positive Imaging: The Powerful Way to Change Your Life
by Norman Vincent Peale

I’ve worked with visualization and imaging for over forty years, and in that time have read many books on the subject. This is one of the best books I’ve read that not only describes the process, but also explains how it can specifically help in various aspect of your life.

Dr. Peale doesn’t define imaging as a magical process that alone will make all your problems disappear, but as one that opens up the way for solutions and guidance. Once the goal has been set and visualized, then there must be “discipline, determination, patience, and persistence” for the idea to become reality. Using examples and success stories, Dr. Peale explains how imaging can improve self-esteem, finances, success, worry, relationships, health, faith and much more.

Known for his wisdom and ability, Dr. Peale helps people change their attitudes towards their everyday problems. This book shows how using the natural ability of imaging, your challenges can be conquered. The technique he describes is very simple, and is used by everyone each day. I recommend it highly for anyone wanting to learn more about the important tool of visualization.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Jun 162017
 

Sparks of Insight“The Universe loves and approves of me. As an individualized expression of the Universe, I love and approve of myself. I am worthy of all the good that Life can hold.”

Self-worth is important for a life of success and well-being. When you reject yourself, then you’re rejecting an expression of the Universe. No matter what you’ve done, the Universe accepts you. Your actions are separate from who you are. You are a unique individual, who deserves to be loved.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Jun 092017
 

Sparks of InsightThere is only one person that you can change and that’s yourself. It would be nice if you could change the way others behaved and thought. But you can’t. It’s a hard lesson to learn. You can’t keep others from sabotaging their lives, hurting themselves, or how they feel about you. The one thing you can do is change the kind of treatment you’ll accept. If you’re being criticized, hurt, abused, or in some other destructive way, you have the ability to say “no” to it. Set boundaries, and establish consequences if they violate your limits. Even if the decision is to no longer associate with them. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. You may not be able to change another person, but you can change the way they treat you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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Jun 092017
 

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The Placebo Effect Can Mend Your Broken Heart, Study Suggests
This article specifically addresses life after divorce, but the strategy it suggest could be used after any loss. The idea is basically find something that makes you feel better, with the attitude that it might help you move beyond your grief. As long as you’re doing something positive, it can influence your brain and reduce your pain. This article goes into greater depth about the strategy and how it actually affects you.

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Jun 012017
 

Grand Canyon Sunset - East of Yaki Point7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind
Your thoughts determine the life you have. To have a better life, you need to master your thoughts. You need to be aware of whether you’re planting noxious weeds or beautiful flowers. This article gives you several easy, practical ways to become a better steward of your thoughts.

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You’re Not Going to Believe What I’m about to Tell You
This is a cute comic that illustrates why facts won’t change a person’s opinion. Instead, facts will cause a person to hang on harder to their misconception. The comic is very clever and clear, describing a psychological behavior called the backfire effect. Enjoy this comic to find a way to counteract this effect and learn how to consider something different.