Nov 152017
 

How many roles do you fill? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? This contributes to a feeling of overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. Learn a couple of techniques of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.



Transcript:

How many roles do you have? Mother, father, wife, husband, sister/brother, business owner, worker, manager, daughter, son, and on and on? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? Like you have too many people who want you to help them, or want something from you, and they all want it now? This contributes to a feeling of stress and overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. And trying to can impact your personal and professional life. I’d like to give a couple of suggestions of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. For almost 30 years, I’ve been a hypnotherapist. Clients came to see me to create change in their lives. Over time, I discovered that they had to also have a vision of where they wanted to end up with that change to be truly successful. Now, as a vision strategist, I help women entrepreneurs get clear, focused and get back in control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always fighting against being a people pleaser. In the past, my needs took second place to what others wanted. If a group I was volunteered for asked me to be part of committee, I’d generally say “yes,” even when the time involved impacted my work or well being. The wake-up call came when I got so over involved with different organizations that my health was affected. That’s when I developed the ability to say “no.” I realized I couldn’t be all things to all people, and still be there for myself. I couldn’t please everyone. Can you?

For instance, you know you can’t satisfy all of your potential customers. Some will just be more trouble than they’re worth. You’ll have to choose your values and peace of mind over what they want from you. Setting boundaries on your time may be your first step. For instance, you don’t answer the phone outside of office hours. Or, if you need to be on call, you establish some rules for customers who abuse the privilege.

In my first years as a hypnotherapist and coach, I learned not to give my home number to clients (this was in the years before cell phones). Too many called in the evening, just to talk. So what kind of boundaries can you set? It’s just another way of saying “no.”

If people in your personal life demand what you struggle to give, it’s important to use both of those strategies. Learn to say “no” to requests that you know will mean you have to sacrifice something important to you. And establish boundaries for when you will and won’t be available, what you’re willing to do and not do. Especially if they’re things that the person asking can do for themselves. You can’t please everyone, and you need to take care of your well being or you won’t be able to be there for others.

Years ago, I had to end my association with some of the organizations I’d been involved with. They couldn’t accept that I wasn’t at their beck and call anymore. It was hard, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if my health hadn’t been involved. But learning to say “no” was a valuable lesson. It’s one that has served me well in my personal and professional life since.

What can you say “no” to? How can you set boundaries in your life? These are very important abilities to develop. They allow you to prioritize what’s important for you. And when you do that, you’ll reduce your stress and have more peace of mind.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I really encourage you to practice these techniques. I know they’ll make a difference in your life.

Read the accompanying article, Conquer the Distress of Overwhelm.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Nov 022017
 

Rainbow and Main Falls at Victoria FallsStress Kills! 5 Ways to Keep Your Stress Levels Low
It’s not just determination and hard work that separate the successful from the unsuccessful. The ability to manage stress is what sets apart successful entrepreneurs from not-so-successful ones. This article uses the advice from business people who run multi-million dollar companies on how they deal with their stress.

The Best Way to React When Someone Is Shouting at You in Anger
Yelling is not healthy for relationships and its results do not yield long term positive results. When someone yells at you, they’re trying to intimidate and bully you. This article examines the reasons behind yelling, and how you can defuse the situation.

Is Meaning The Path To Happiness?
Are you looking for happiness? Most people are, but look in the wrong places. The pursuit of pleasure may give you transient pleasure, but it will fade quickly. Instead, explore the four pillars of meaning that this article mentions. This will bring you greater fulfillment and satisfaction.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Oct 192017
 

Grand Canyon Rim TrailHow to Always Solve a Problem Once and for All
Many people aim for a band-aid solution, without ever getting to the cause of a problem. Unfortunately, the band-aids never hold and they’re back at the starting point again. This article gives a couple of techniques to easily find the cause of a problem. And once you have the cause, you can find a permanent solution.

Seven Ways to Overcome Inertia and Get Yourself Unstuck
It’s hard to break habits and get moving in a different direction. This article shares ways to overcome your reluctance to change and to help build momentum towards achieving your goals. For instance, one of the suggestions is to shock yourself into change by asking, “What are the consequences of not doing so?”

15 Things to Remember When You Don’t Believe in Yourself
Almost everyone had periods of self-doubt. It can rob you of courage, confidence and happiness. Rarely is it beneficial. But it’s a part of life. Just don’t get stuck there. When you begin to doubt yourself, use these as inspiration to encourage yourself.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Oct 122017
 

Rainbow at SnowbowlKnowing My Values Has Filled up the Long-Existed Missing Gap in My Life
Your values are an important piece of who you are. But few people can articulate what they are. Values affect your decisions, your actions and what fulfills you, without your being aware of it. When you know your values, you can choose your decisions to support them. This article gives instructions on how to find your values and live by them.

9 Difficult Decisions the Happiest People Always Get Right
You’re about as happy as you decide to be. One way to be happier is to do the right thing. Many people will take the easy way out, but this leads to a lack of self-respect. Instead, make decisions and follow through on them. Here are nine decisions to make that will make you happier in the long run.

How to Develop Trust through Self-Trust
Self-trust is a major component of your success. When you have it, you have a good relationship with yourself. You also have credibility with yourself. This article covers the four core building blocks to self-trust. Cultivate this trait and you’ll notice a rise in your self-respect and self-esteem.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Book Review-Healing the Shame that Binds You

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Oct 032017
 

Healing the Shame that Binds You (Recovery Classics)
by John Bradshaw

Many people grow up in dysfunctional families that have caused them to feel ashamed of natural needs, desires, and sometimes of just being. This results in their not feeling worthy, effective, or mattering. Healing The Shame That Binds You not only addresses the core issues behind the toxic shame that people feel, explains how it formed and where it comes from, it also gives valuable direction on how to heal it.

Most of us have been exposed to some sort of toxic shame, and carry it with us. This shame prevents us from living up to our potential, accepting ourselves, and accepting all the good Life has to offer us. The author examines these issues, to give the reader a deep understanding on how shame formed, different ways it manifests (such as panic attacks, addictions, and compulsions), and steps to take to resolve the problem.

This book isn’t just one of theory and information. It includes meditations, exercises, new behaviors to practice, and affirmations. Different methods of healing are explained and demonstrated. Anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional home, or who absorbed a sense of shame would benefit from reading this valuable source.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Stop Fighting Yourself

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Sep 202017
 

Do you have personality traits that you’re rejecting by trying to fit yourself into a mold that works for others, especially in your career? If so, you’re going to be wasting energy and not being as productive as you could be. Accepting yourself and working with your characteristics will make you much happier and more successful.




Transcript:
Do you have natural characteristics that involves your work life, that you’re fighting against?
I’m not talking about procrastination or perfectionism, which are learned traits. But what natural characteristics are you trying to repress them to fit into what everyone else expects from you? When you do, it’s a form of self-rejection. Not only does it erode your self-esteem, but it reduces your effectiveness.

For instance, years ago, I took a creative writing class that met at 9am every Thursday. I’m not at my peak at that time. I’m functional at best. A group of us from the class formed an organization to sponsor what became an international writing contest. I was secretary of the group and took notes at our meetings. One day, the president suggested we meet at 8am. I’m not a morning person. The person who sat next to me in class said, “Don’t do that to Linda-Ann. Haven’t you noticed that she doesn’t mentally join the class and start participating until 10am?” We all laughed, and because it was true, the president set the meeting at 10am.

How about you? Is there a personality trait you have that you’re fighting against? Are you trying to fit into someone else’s mold? I know that there are times it’s unavoidable. But if you are, you’re wasting your time and energy. They could be better used to accepting your idiosyncrasies and viewing them as your strengths. In other words, you know how to optimize your productivity.

For example, do you work best listening to music? How can you do that in a way that doesn’t affect others? Do you prefer to work in groups? What about teams? Maybe you can find a partner or partners to bounce ideas off of, so you can collaborate with them and have a sense of camaraderie.

When you’re able to honor your personality traits, you build a sense of self-trust and feel better about yourself. What are your idiosyncrasies? How can you accept and adjust them to fit into your work? When you’re able to do this, not only will you be more productive and successful, and be a whole lot happier.

Read the accompanying article Achieve Success through Self-Trust.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

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Sep 152017
 

Sparks of InsightWhere are you giving away your power? Where is your power going? Are you letting others manipulate you through guilt, anger? Are you letting some unhealthy substance control your actions, or not acting in healthy ways? Are you feeling helpless or hopeless? All of these are symptoms of your handing your power over to someone or something else. You have separated yourself from your Higher Self. You have a right to reclaim yourself and your power. Think about where you’ve given your power away and say, “I reclaim my power!”

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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Sep 082017
 

RainbowyClouds-yikrp55aT-smMake Someone Else’s Day, and 3 Other Ways to De-Stress
Unfortunately, we live in a highly stressed world and many are just trying to survive. Although it’s important to be effective at your job, it doesn’t have to impair your mental, emotional and physical well being. This article suggests 4 ways to reduce your stress and improve your happiness.

Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know
People with low self-esteem tend to be over-critical of themselves. And many people have this problem and don’t know it. This article gives some symptoms, so you can assess if you suffer from it. Only by becoming aware of the issue can you start to remedy it.

5 Ways To Stop Doubting Yourself
Self-doubt destroys reaching for your dream. It holds you back and can undermine you in ways you’re not aware of. You make excuses or avoid challenges. The opposite of self-doubt is self-confidence. This articles gives ways to eliminate self-doubt and regain your confidence so you can attain your dreams.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Achieve Success through Self-Trust

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Sep 072017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Emerson-Self-trustQuote“Self-trust is the first secret of success.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you know what you want? Many people don’t know what they want because they don’t trust themselves to achieve it. They’d rather not want anything than be disappointed. They distrust the validity of their own desires and doubt their judgment because of past failures.

Before you take steps towards accomplishing a dream, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. You need to know that you can access the knowledge, develop the habits, and find the opportunities to create your goal.

What exactly is self-trust? It’s a belief in yourself, trusting that you’ll be there for yourself, that you can handle what life throws at you. It means that you’re accountable and responsible for yourself. When you’re able to depend on yourself, you have confidence that you’ll be on your side. Self-trust ensures that you’re interested in and supportive of your wellbeing.

Being able to trust yourself is the first ingredient you need to be successful in all areas of your life. Not trusting yourself means you don’t believe you’ll finish what you intend to do. Distrusting yourself undermines your relationship with yourself and everyone else, including the Universe.

In business, it’s said that “People do business with those they know, like and trust.” The same is true of your personal life. You’re attracted to those you like and trust and vice versa. Are you trustworthy enough for you to be friends or do business with? If not, how can you reach that place of inner assurance?

Self-trust doesn’t just happen. It has to be built, the same as in any relationship. When you first meet someone, you rarely trust them immediately. Over time and through experience, they have to show that they’re truthful and reliable. You develop a relationship with yourself the same way. Here are four ways in which you can start to cultivate a sense of self-trust.

1. Honor your values. Your values are principles you choose to live by. They’re standards of behavior or ideals that you uphold, like integrity, service, or family. There will be times when it’s hard to stay true to them. But if you don’t, you’ll feel inauthentic and like you’ve abandoned yourself. And you’ll sense a separation from the Universe. When you live according to your values, it builds your self-worth and self-esteem.

2. Honor yourself. Pay attention to your health and wellbeing. When you need to take care of yourself, refuse extra demands on your time. You’re as important as anyone else, and if you don’t treat yourself well, no one else will do so either. If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do or can’t fulfill, be kind to them (and yourself) and say no. As you support your worth, you’ll develop a positive self-regard.

3. Honor your agreements and commitments. If you do consent to perform some action, follow through and fulfill it. Not doing so breaks a promise to yourself and others. And those who break promises can’t be trusted. The same is true when you agree to a condition, like not to track mud onto the carpet. Keeping appointments you make also falls under this heading. Be on time or as close to it as possible. By doing so, you’re fostering self-respect and earning the respect of others.

4. Honor your decisions. After you make a decision, stick to it, unless you get new information that affects your choice. Stop seeking others’ approval for your choices. Take responsibility for your decisions and for their consequences. Some people won’t like that you’re being autonomous, but that’s their problem. It’s your life and you make the choices based on your experiences and what’s important to you. Rely on your own authority.

Trust grows more trust, in yourself and others. When you believe in yourself, it allows for innovation, creativity, and the flexibility to change directions when needed. The more you trust yourself, the more you trust the Universe and the Law of Attraction. You’re able to let go of fear and doubt, and have faith that you live in a beneficial universe.

Affirmation:
The Universe perceives me as a worthwhile human being. It has given me everything I need to succeed, personally and professionally. It’s my responsibility to exercise the qualities It has bestowed upon me. As I advocate for myself, I feel more whole and authentic.

Watch the accompanying video Stop Fighting Yourself.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.

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Sep 012017
 

Flagstaff Aspen Rainbow6 Money Habits That Could Cripple Your Business Over Time
Unfortunately, 50% of businesses fail within the first five years. And one of the issues that failure can be due to is faulty money management. This isn’t true just for businesses, but for personal finances, as well. But you can change those poor money habits and improve the course of your success.

Get Rid of These 3 Thoughts We All Have That Stunt Our Growth of Resilience
We’ve all experienced adversity, grief and trauma in our lives. Sometimes we’re able to overcome it, and other times, we stumble and get stuck. Learn some steps on how to recover and start making progress again.

10 Powerful Ways to Stand Up for Yourself in Any Situation
Sometimes, when there’s an unpleasant situation, we take the path of nonresistance. We try to avoid conflict by going along to get along. But that rarely gives us beneficial results. Instead, it encourages the offender to continue and makes us feel helpless. When you stand up for yourself, you feel and become stronger. Here are some great steps to take charge of your life.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart