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Why Kindness Matters

Why Kindness Matters

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Hanging hearts

Kindness is a natural tendency that grows stronger when cultivated. Even toddlers instinctively help others. Altruism helps cultures to survive and thrive. When we cooperate, have compassion and empathy for each other, despite our differences, we can build and grow individually and as a group. Kindness binds society together.

How Kindness Affects You

Our brains were developed for us to be kind to each other. When you help someone, chemicals rush through your brain creating euphoria, empathy, connection, and well being.  Kindness also increases self-esteem, self-worth and optimism. It feels good to be considerate of others, and that encourages you to repeat the behavior. Practicing kindness rewires your brain to create more neural pathways for compassion and empathy.

Choosing to be kind is in your enlightened self-interest, as long as you’re doing it for others and not just for yourself.  Helping others lowers blood pressure, reduces stress and anxiety, and decreases risks for cardiovascular disease, among other benefits.  If you’re kind out of a sense of routine or obligation, you miss out on the advantages of someone who gives out of caring for others.  Kindness must be a sincere interest in others well being.

All major spiritual traditions consider kindness to be integral to their teachings. When you’re able to give of yourself, you’re at peace with yourself and your fellow humans. You open channels to allow more blessings to flow into your life. 

How Kindness Affects Others

You have no idea how a small act of kindness can impact someone. A smile, opening the door for someone, or a simple “thank you” can not only make a person’s day, but alter the course of their life. They may not remember you, but they’ll remember that you improved how they felt. Whether small acts or large, doing good for others creates change that goes far beyond what you’ll ever know.

Kindness spreads, like ripples in a pond. When you’re kind, with no expectation of reward, it inspires other people to follow your lead. They also become altruistic, and others pay it forward. Your impact multiplies as it affects even more people. If you want to make the world a better place, start with one good deed a day because that generosity will be contagious. Being kind is a gift to yourself, society and the world.  

Affirmation:

Kindness is an innate trait within me, and I now choose to practice it in all ways. I choose to be kind in my interactions with others. As I do good for others, expecting nothing in return, I uplift my spirit and the world around me. I am compassionate towards the people around me, knowing that they have their own trials to bear. Kindness is contagious, and others are inspired by my example. My life and the world at large is a better place due to my kindness and compassion.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To boost productivity and reduce overwhelm, register for her FREE guide, Design Your Best Day, at Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Reprogram Your Negative Self-Chatter

Reprogram Your Negative Self-Chatter

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Thoughts in a head

Have you ever monitored what you say to yourself? Listened to the self-talk that chatters away without your being aware of it? Automatic phrases, such as “I can’t do this,” “I’m not worthy,” “I can’t handle this,” “I can’t afford it” and others. You may even find yourself saying them to the people in your life. These are beliefs that have been programmed into you, just like into a computer. Suppose the boss asks you to come into his office. Your first reaction may be “Uh, Oh. I’m in trouble,” even though he may want to praise you.

These ideas come from your past, but  they create a self-fulfilling feedback loop in your subconscious. Without your being aware of it, they provide background noise in your life. Is it any wonder that it’s hard to make any changes? They echo the words of parents, siblings, friends, teachers, anybody whose opinion you ever accepted, whether it was true or not. You were hypnotized into believing them, and you’ve stayed true to the conditioning.

How to Reprogram Negative Thoughts

An affirmation is a statement that confirms what you hold to be true, and though we generally use the term for positive declarations, these statements can be either positive or negative. When you tell yourself over and over that you’re not worthy , it convinces your subconscious that this is what you want, and your subconscious creates this reality.

The first step is to become aware of what you’re telling yourself. Write down these statements. Then formulate a sentence that counters what you’ve been believing all these years. Use it repetitively, because that’s how you were programmed in the first place. By hearing the same or similar things over and over.

Remain conscious of the background noise of your thoughts. And when the negative statement rises up, use your new phrase. Be patient. That original idea has been there a long time. It’ll take time, consistence, and persistence, but eventually you’ll change the thought to one that more truly reflects the Universe’s loving opinion of you.

Affirmation:

I monitor my self-talk and now become aware of what I’m telling myself. I realize that these negative ideas came from the past and have no relation to my present life. I recognize my own worth and the authority of my positive declarations. I am patient, consistent and persistent in reprogramming my mind, for I know that the changes are happening with every constructive affirmation that I state.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Register for her FREE Design Your Best Day guide and guided meditation video at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Seek Persistence, Not Perfection

Seek Persistence, Not Perfection

by Linda-Ann Stewart

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.” Calvin Coolidge

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.” Calvin Coolidge

There’s an old saying, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” But that concept puts so much pressure on people. They figure that if they can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. So, because they’re afraid of failing, or of doing less than their best, they procrastinate, or they get paralyzed and do nothing.

But perfection is not only overrated, it’s impossible. When you seek perfection, you don’t try anything new, because you’re unsure of the results. Or if you do try something new, it’s only what you know you’ll do well. You don’t do anything new or challenging that will allow you to grow or develop. But you don’t build proficiency in a vacuum. It takes time to develop the skill and knowledge to be able to excel at something.

Perfectionism Affects Your Mental Health

Seeking perfection is detrimental to your mental health, as it creates stress and anxiety. The pursuit of perfection also results in low self-esteem and depression. Your self-talk becomes abusive, as you berate yourself for always falling short of an impossible standard. Perfectionism promotes the opposite of what you seek, which is wellbeing and success.  

The obsession with perfection is prompted by the fear of failure and disapproval. You’re trying to live up to some unrealistic expectations, generally from childhood, and fear rejection if you don’t succeed. So by staying in your comfort zone and don’t try anything new, you can’t fail or be criticized. This causes you to avoid challenges, risk, growth and innovation.

Developing Persistence

My father used to say, “You don’t fail until you stop trying.” There’s a theory that leaders should seek failure, rather than success, because failing teaches you valuable lessons. You learn more about yourself, are able to cultivate creativity, and acquire empathy through failure. You discover what doesn’t work, and are able to apply that to your next attempt. Failure also fosters persistence. Each time you fail, you’re one step closer to success, if you keep trying.

Beginning meditators give up when they aren’t able to quiet their mind chatter. The point of meditation is the practice. The more you persist, the easier it will be to not give attention to the distracting thoughts that fly through your mind. Perseverance also gives the Law of Attraction a focus, letting it know that your idea is something you really want.

Instead of focusing on the outcome of perfection, focus on the process of what you’re trying to achieve. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does build expertise. Repetition forms muscle memory, and creates a habit. Training crafts mastery, which is as close to perfection as anyone can get. But you have to continue to practice, or else you begin to lose the skills.

Persistence Builds Character

Simply put one foot in front of the other and keep going. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but it continues with taking another step and another. Focus on what you accomplish each day. What did you learn? How can that lesson be put to use in moving forward? You’re more productive, efficient and effective, simply by continuing to take action.

Perseverance is necessary for a child to learn to walk, a writer to finish a book, or someone to change a habit. Giving up isn’t an option if you want to reach your goal. When you persist, despite obstacles, you build strength and resilience. This becomes a positive cycle that will bring you more success and self-confidence. Let go of the illusion of perfection, and embrace the power of persistence.

Affirmation:

I recognize that perfection is the province of the Universe, not the physical world that I live in. I let go of the need to live up to unrealistic expectations. Those ideas belong in the past. Now, I focus on my goal and take steps to bring it into reality. I learn from any setbacks, and apply that knowledge to my path as I commit myself to moving forward.

As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Change Starts From Within

Change Starts From Within

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Woman happy she's changed

As a hypnotherapist, people come to see me professionally because they want some sort of change in their lives. Whether it’s to feel better about themselves, stop smoking, reduce weight, increase their self-confidence, improve their health, or have some other positive adjustment, they have made a choice that has brought them to my office. Together we figure out what they need to change within themselves, and what actions they need to take, to bring about the improvement in their lives.

Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don’t want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.

Change from the Inside Out

For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they’ve chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life’s challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they’ll start up again.

All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what’s wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.

Improving Self-Esteem

For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they’re not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don’t deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them.

The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.

Deal with Inner Attitudes

This doesn’t mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I’ve known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can’t pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that’s the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.

The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn’t going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren’t dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.

What Do You Need to Change?

Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, “What do I need to change within myself in order to…?” Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.

Permanent improvement in any area of life demands our making a choice for something different, begin to align our beliefs and attitudes so that the new idea is possible and desirable, and then take action to embody the new concept. All of these steps are necessary for there to be change. And when we begin to entertain the idea of change, the Universe will bring us opportunities to help it along. New people will show up in our lives, information will drop onto our desk, or some event may nudge it along. We just have to have the courage and commitment to take the leap into a brighter future.

Affirmation:

I now identify the areas of my life that I want to change and recognize what needs to happen for them to improve. I’m guided to understand what I need to change within myself to create the transformation in my life. The answer is clear. With my whole being, I’m willing to do what is necessary to improve. As I make the decision to change, the Universe supports me and brings whatever I need to help me.

Live Authentically

Live Authentically

If you’re not living authentically, then you probably feel out of tune with yourself. Being true to yourself is important for you to feel whole. To discover what living authentically means to you, ask yourself these 4 questions. They’ll open the door to self-discovery and a greater sense of well being. Watch Live Authentically.

Transcript:

Do you ever feel like you’re out of phase with your true self? Like you’re trying to squeeze into a suit that doesn’t fit? If so, you’re probably doing something that’s not genuine for you. When people act in ways that aren’t natural for them, they feel like they’re betraying themselves. Being authentic isn’t just a self-improvement catch-phrase, it’s an instinctive imperative.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. For over 30 years, I’ve helped people achieve their goals in life and business. I learned that self-worth and authenticity was important for a greater sense of well being.

When you’re living authentically, you feel in tune with yourself, with greater self-acceptance and self-worth. The challenge is to discover how you can be more authentic in your life. To do so, you’ll have to become aware of what makes you feel aligned with your inner self.

You can ask yourself some questions, like:

  * When do I feel out of tune with myself?

  * What can I do in those situations to improve my well being?

  * When do I feel the most whole and at ease with myself?

  * What actions do I need to take to feel the most authentic?

By pausing to think over these questions, you’ll open a new door. You’ll begin to figure out what you need to do to be in alignment with your deepest self. As Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

As you take small, daily steps to being more authentic, and accepting yourself, you’ll learn how important it is to be true to yourself.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video and would like to be notified of future videos in which I’ll give you tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel. Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

Accept Your Introvert or Extrovert Temperament

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Coffee cup saying Choose Happy

Some years ago, I had a friend urge me to go write and work on my business in coffee shops. She loved to work around people, and said, “You’ll get so much done!” I unsuccessfully tried to explain to her that I couldn’t concentrate with other people around. Their activity and noise was too distracting. She never understood.

It was the classic difference between an introvert, like me, and an extrovert, like her. An extrovert loves being around people. Extroverts are buoyed up by the energy of people and ride that wave. Introverts get overwhelmed and overstimulated by being around too many people. They might like to be around people for a short time, but then they have to go recharge in solitude. To an extrovert, being isolated would be punishment. For an introvert, it’s nirvana.

The Differences Between Extroverts and Introverts

Extroverts and introverts process information through different parts of the brain. For an introvert, the information has to go through more areas of the brain for them to come to a conclusion. They consider more deeply and thoroughly about a subject before they arrive at a decision.

Extroverts process information as they interact. They’re spontaneous, and like to talk a subject through or think out loud to reach an answer. While extroverts will say the first thing that comes to mind, introverts reflect about a question before they answer.

Being an introvert isn’t synonymous with being shy. I’ve known shy extroverts and outgoing introverts. Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert depends on whether you get energized or depleted around groups of people and how you think. Introverts have rich inner lives, while extroverts need to be stimulated by outer experiences.

Each Type Has Value

Western society prefers and rewards extroverts, who are gregarious and risk takers. Eastern culture values introvert’s traits of reflection and seclusion. The West loves outgoing people and thinks that loners are somehow lacking in social skills. That’s not true, because introverts are much better listeners. But, in western society, introverts are often shamed and pressured to try to be like an extrovert. As a result, this decreases an introvert’s self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence.

No one is fully an extrovert or introvert. It’s not either/or. It’s a spectrum. If you identify a bit with both of them, you may be an ambivert. This is someone who loves to be around people, but does need alone time afterwards to recharge.

Honor Yourself

No matter whether you’re an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, accept your temperament and that it’s right for you. It reflects the individual that you are and what you need for your wellbeing. If you’re an extrovert, find a way to be around people in person or even virtually. However, if you’re an introvert, find your interaction limit, and give yourself permission to have alone time afterwards. 

Recognize how you gain energy, whether it’s being around people, in solitude, or a combination. Find a balance of social stimulation that works for you. Accept that how you think and process information may be different from others.

These traits aren’t learned. You’re born this way. Don’t let anyone shame or pressure you to conform to their idea of who they think you should be. Honor and respect your temperament. You’ll be happier, healthier and be able to utilize your strengths to create a life that suits you.

Affirmation:

The Universe accepts me as I am. I recognize my strengths and use them in a positive way. I also understand that others may be different from me. As I listen to my inner self, it guides me to create balance and joy in my life. I now honor and respect myself and what I need for my wellbeing.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

The Necessity Of Boundaries

The Necessity Of Boundaries

by Linda-Ann Stewart

In my hypnotherapy practice, when a client would come to see me with self-esteem issues, I’d discuss the topic of “boundaries” with them. Some of my clients had never even heard of the idea of boundaries and I had to explain it to them. “Boundaries are like limits you would set with a child,” I’d say, “telling them not to touch the stove, for their own safety. Or not to hit their sibling.” Most of my clients could relate to that.

However, the idea of telling an adult how to treat them could be a foreign concept. “But they should know how to treat me,” my client might say. This is true, but people have different ideas of how to treat each other. And everyone has their own agenda to make them feel more comfortable. Unless you are direct and clear about what you’ll accept and what you won’t accept, the other person won’t know.

What Are Your Current Boundaries?

Boundaries are an important part of life. Think of the boundaries you have now. You wouldn’t allow someone to reach into your pocket or purse and steal your money without complaining. You’ve drawn the line there. Where are some of your other boundaries? In personal relationships and friendships, what kind of limits have you set? Do you allow friends or loved ones to put you down, beat you, take advantage of you? If so, this is an area in which you need to strengthen your boundaries.

When I was little, my parents taught me that having boundaries was a good thing. But as I got into school and made friends, having boundaries meant that I wouldn’t be liked. When a friend hit me and I complained to her mother, the mom told me that I had to forgive her daughter and continue playing with her. The mom encouraged my feelings of compassion for her daughter so that I wouldn’t reject her. From that, I learned to let people walk all over me. 

Why Boundaries Are Necessary

Without boundaries, we allow the world to treat us as they want to. Not as we expect to be treated, but in ways that are convenient for them. Boundaries are necessary for our safety, and to teach others how we expect to be treated. If we don’t teach people to value us, then we have only ourselves to blame when they take advantage of us. A boundary is the communication of how we choose to be treated, and what the consequences are if we’re not treated that way. Sometimes, you don’t even have to state it as long as you have it firmly planted in your consciousness. Your attitude will communicate it clearly.

When I began setting boundaries and standing up for them, it was scary. The people who didn’t value me began to leave my life. In any relationship, when one person changes, then the relationship itself changes. My “friends” weren’t willing to change with the relationship. But then I started attracting people to me who treated me the way I wanted to be treated. And I didn’t have to tell them how. Since I’d gotten it clear in my mind that I wouldn’t be browbeaten anymore (boundary), and if I was I’d end the relationship no matter how much I cared about the person (consequence), that commitment to my well-being communicated itself.

Boundaries Are Your Right and Responsibility

You have a right to establish the standards by which you choose to be treated. The Universe gave you that right by your having been born. You don’t have to accept treatment that devalues you as a person or as an expression of the Universe. You also have a responsibility to yourself, to the Universe, and to the other person to decide on your boundaries. If you don’t, then you’re allowing other people to choose how you will be treated and you’re at their mercy. By setting and maintaining boundaries, you’re accepting the responsibility for your well being. Boundaries demonstrate that you value yourself and that you value the relationship enough to create a secure environment in which it can grow.

Affirmation:

I have a right and responsibility to myself and the Universe to establish meaningful boundaries. I deserve to be treated well, with respect. If my boundaries are violated, I have the right to act on the consequences that I’ve decided on to keep myself safe and secure. I do this with compassion for the other person, but also with compassion for myself because my well being is more important than someone else’s convenience.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Emmalou Penrod M.A., of Healing Your Families, and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. In our initial conversation, we realized we had something in common. We both had been trained to use hypnosis to improve people’s lives! She’s a retired schoolteacher, and now coaches families to have more peaceful homes. She’s a parenting and family strengthening expert, and brings her knowledge of counseling to help heal families.

As we talked, we had such a connection that she invited me to be interviewed on her podcast at WinWinWomen.tv. Although family issues aren’t my professional area of expertise, one topic that affects everyone is self-worth. My specialties as a hypnotherapist were stress management, success programming and self-esteem/self-worth issues. Since Emmalou and I agreed that having better self-worth made better parents, we decided that would be a great topic to cover.

In the interview, we began by talking about how I became a focus coach for women small business owners. I explained that women tend to be scattered because of all their responsibilities. It’s difficult for them to focus for any length of time on any one thing. But focus is necessary to accomplish anything.

Then Emmalou asked about the opposite of focus, “What do you think of multitasking?”

“Multitasking” is a myth,” I answered, and explained why. She said she’d heard it described as “a lie,” which is also true. Multitasking keeps your brain fractured between all the different tasks. It breaks your train of thought, so you can’t build up momentum on any project or task.

This led into discussing the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem can be impacted by outside variables and self-worth is more internal and fundamental. And both are impacted by having a strong inner critic. Emmalou liked my perspective on the inner critic not being a bad guy, but fulfilling a role that a person has outgrown.

Emmalou asked how a person could improve their self-worth. I answered that being kinder to oneself and being mindful helped to support and build self-worth. At the end of the conversation, I shared three simple steps on how to be kinder to yourself.

Because of Emmalou’s background, expertise and knowledge, I loved talking with her about this subject. I could have gone on for hours, but we had to fit into the podcast’s time frame. But I have articles on this topic here and on my website to help you reclaim your worth. And Emmalou has articles on her blog to help you become a better person, and thus, a better parent.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – StoryVan.tv

Podcast Interview – StoryVan.tv

I recently had the pleasure of talking with Bonnie McDonald Dixon on her StoryVan.tv show. She and her husband, Greg, live in their RV and travel around Canada and the U.S., and get to know all sorts of people. She and Greg interview some of those people on their video podcast.

She and I met through a networking meeting, and hit it off. Years ago, I traveled from Arizona to Texas in an RV a couple of times, and once from Arizona to the East Coast and up to Maine. I enjoyed RVing, and could resonate with Bonnie and Greg’s fascination with it.

Bonnie is a health advocate with decades of experience in the natural health business. She’s warm, humorous, and has a passion to help people. One of the ways she does this is a website for those who live on the road or overseas. She and Greg  have a website with tips and ideas for people who want to live the nomad lifestyle like they do. Their HealthyWealthyCamper.com website includes health and income creation ideas for those who travel.

In our discussion on the show, Bonnie was interested in my hypnotherapy background and how it informed my coaching women who suffer from the shiny object syndrome. We all suffer a bit from the shiny object syndrome. Getting distracted while you’re going through life is natural. The problem comes when you get stuck in that cycle.

On the show, she and I talked about some of the causes of the shiny object syndrome, reasons why it can occur, as well as some of the consequences of it. Stress is one of the problems it creates, and stress shuts down creative thinking. During our conversation, I mentioned a couple of secrets about the subconscious mind and stress that can help people to know.

Bonnie was curious if the shiny object syndrome might impact your self-esteem. I responded that your self-esteem and self-respect can take a dive if you succumb to the shiny object syndrome because you’re not keeping promises to yourself.

I enjoyed our talk and was disappointed when the show ended. Even then, we chatted a bit. She’s truly an amazing person and one I am honored to have met and spent some time with.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Respond to Criticism

How to Respond to Criticism

For many people, criticism brings up bad memories of having someone harass them, call them a name or put them down. Now, when someone critiques them, they react in a way that isn’t helpful. Instead, there’s a way to change your reaction so that you’re more empowered in the situation. Discover a 5 step process to retrain yourself to deal with criticism in a much more positive way.

Transcript:

For many people, criticism brings up bad memories of having someone harass them, call them a name or put them down. Has this happened to you? If so, when someone critiques you in the present, you probably get defensive or go into fight or flight mode. When you’re in that condition, you can’t be objective or even think clearly, right? All you can do is react to the situation as you might have in the past.

I’d like to share what you can do in that situation to change your reaction into one that might be able to help you grow. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, vision empowerment strategist and I’ve had to deal with my fair share of criticism.

Criticism isn’t always intended to find fault with you. Some criticism is constructive to help you get better at something. This kind of criticism offers a solution or is feedback that you can learn from. But when you’re reacting, it’s hard to determine if there’s anything of use for you in the comment. Like I said, you can’t think clearly when you think you’re attacked.

Here are some steps to take to respond more positively to criticism so you can take back your power.

First and foremost, don’t react. If it’s from someone who wants to manipulate you, you take back control when you don’t react to them. Also, when you stop reacting to a bully’s harassment, they lose interest.

Next, take some deep breaths. Calm yourself so you can think more clearly. Give yourself that time.

Then, consider the source. Is it a bully who loves to humiliate others or is it someone who has your best interests at heart.

Either way, assess to see if there’s any merit to the comment. Is there anything valid in what they said or is it simply their opinion? What, if anything, can you learn from the comment?

Once you’ve learned what you can, decide what to do about it. If there is some improvement you can make, figure out how you want to go about doing that. And then dismiss the comment. It’s served its purpose.  If it’s from a bully, and there’s nothing of value for you, dismiss it. Yeah, I know, easier said than done. But it can be done with practice.

When you start responding to criticism from a more empowered place, your confidence and self-esteem increase. Criticism no longer impacts you as deeply as it did. It takes practice to retrain yourself to take these steps, but it’s well worth the effort.

To be notified of future mindset videos, please like my YouTube channel.

Thank you for watching. Stay Focused.

Read the accompanying article, Is the Fear of Criticism Holding You Back?