Nov 152017
 

How many roles do you fill? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? This contributes to a feeling of overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. Learn a couple of techniques of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.



Transcript:

How many roles do you have? Mother, father, wife, husband, sister/brother, business owner, worker, manager, daughter, son, and on and on? Do you ever feel like they’re pulling you in a hundred different directions all at once? Like you have too many people who want you to help them, or want something from you, and they all want it now? This contributes to a feeling of stress and overwhelm, because you can’t do it all. And trying to can impact your personal and professional life. I’d like to give a couple of suggestions of how you can prioritize yourself in a way that supports your mental and physical health.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. For almost 30 years, I’ve been a hypnotherapist. Clients came to see me to create change in their lives. Over time, I discovered that they had to also have a vision of where they wanted to end up with that change to be truly successful. Now, as a vision strategist, I help women entrepreneurs get clear, focused and get back in control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always fighting against being a people pleaser. In the past, my needs took second place to what others wanted. If a group I was volunteered for asked me to be part of committee, I’d generally say “yes,” even when the time involved impacted my work or well being. The wake-up call came when I got so over involved with different organizations that my health was affected. That’s when I developed the ability to say “no.” I realized I couldn’t be all things to all people, and still be there for myself. I couldn’t please everyone. Can you?

For instance, you know you can’t satisfy all of your potential customers. Some will just be more trouble than they’re worth. You’ll have to choose your values and peace of mind over what they want from you. Setting boundaries on your time may be your first step. For instance, you don’t answer the phone outside of office hours. Or, if you need to be on call, you establish some rules for customers who abuse the privilege.

In my first years as a hypnotherapist and coach, I learned not to give my home number to clients (this was in the years before cell phones). Too many called in the evening, just to talk. So what kind of boundaries can you set? It’s just another way of saying “no.”

If people in your personal life demand what you struggle to give, it’s important to use both of those strategies. Learn to say “no” to requests that you know will mean you have to sacrifice something important to you. And establish boundaries for when you will and won’t be available, what you’re willing to do and not do. Especially if they’re things that the person asking can do for themselves. You can’t please everyone, and you need to take care of your well being or you won’t be able to be there for others.

Years ago, I had to end my association with some of the organizations I’d been involved with. They couldn’t accept that I wasn’t at their beck and call anymore. It was hard, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if my health hadn’t been involved. But learning to say “no” was a valuable lesson. It’s one that has served me well in my personal and professional life since.

What can you say “no” to? How can you set boundaries in your life? These are very important abilities to develop. They allow you to prioritize what’s important for you. And when you do that, you’ll reduce your stress and have more peace of mind.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I really encourage you to practice these techniques. I know they’ll make a difference in your life.

Read the accompanying article, Conquer the Distress of Overwhelm.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.

Avoid These 7 Traps That Sabotage Your Dreams

 Article  Comments Off on Avoid These 7 Traps That Sabotage Your Dreams
Feb 142017
 

Sunset Crater, Flagstaff AZDo you have a dream or a vision that you’re not actively pursuing? Maybe you’re not taking action on it or you’re chronically preparing to start. If so, you’re not alone. Self-sabotage is an insidious, subversive and subtle act. It gets hidden amongst the busyness of your life. And it may even seem completely reasonable that you haven’t been able to make any progress toward your dream. But there are unseen forces at work within you that are holding you back.

Here are 7 ways that you undermine yourself and steps you can take to overcome these obstacles.

1. Lack of clarity. You only have a fuzzy idea of what you want. This isn’t very motivating and it won’t impel you to take action. When you don’t have a precise idea of your direction, you won’t take any steps. Specific ideas about your goals allow you to take specific steps towards achieving them, which leads to better results. It also gives the Law of Attraction an explicit pattern to follow.

2. No plan. You may want to go with the flow and resist the structure of a plan. But when you choose to let things unfold in this way, you’re going to be blown around by every circumstance that presents itself. There’s a saying, “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” In your busy life, if something doesn’t get prioritized, it doesn’t get done. Create an outline of a plan that serves you, so that the Law of Attraction can draw to you what you need. Your plan should include room for the unexpected.

3. Not working your plan. You’ve created a plan, put it in a drawer and gotten involved in your busy life. The immediate and the urgent have taken precedence. Or you may be dealing with the “shiny object syndrome.” Other enticing options have taken you off track and gotten you nowhere. This just creates confusion for the Universe, as it doesn’t know what you want. It’s ok to make course corrections periodically, but not every day. Assess your plan and get back to working it.

4. Not making your dream a priority. You have a plan, but you let other things get in the way. This may be day-to-day chores or plain old inertia. It’s simply easier to fall back into old habits than it is to clear space to work for your dream. Unless you decide that your dream is important, you’ll never achieve it. And the Universe won’t make it a priority, either. Focus on what you want, schedule taking action and following through.

5. Seeking approval. You’re trying to live up to other peoples’ expectations of you. And you put others’ agendas ahead of your own wants, needs and desires. For the most part, you don’t need their approval nor to meet their expectations. What you want is as important as what they do. Learn to say, “No,” when their expectations conflict with what you want. The Universe approves of you when you do.

6. Perfectionism. You won’t move forward until everything is perfect. This is an unrealistic and unreachable goal. Perfectionism comes from fear that you’ll make a mistake. Of course, you’re going to make mistakes. That’s how you learn and make course corrections. The Universe doesn’t expect your efforts to be flawless. Repeat to yourself, “Progress, not perfection.” As long as you have a vision and the beginnings of a plan, you can make some headway. You can build the rest as you go along.

7. Procrastination.
This behavior is the worst of the offenders. It probably sinks more dreams than anything else. Either you put off starting or you put off uncomfortable or unfamiliar tasks that are necessary to your vision. Out of fear or rebellion, you chronically avoid making a decision or taking an action until the last minute. The Law of Attraction follows your lead and delays any good coming your way. Take some action, no matter how small and build momentum. One small step at a time is all you need to do to make progress.

Self-sabotage is an attempt to keep you safely confined in your comfort zone, so you don’t have to stretch or be anxious. Your subconscious is trying to protect you from the disappointment or rejection that you experienced when you were younger. Unfortunately, this strategy doesn’t support your dream or who you are now.

When you recognize that you’re sabotaging yourself, and that it’s a function of some outdated attempt at self-preservation, you can make changes. It will be uncomfortable at first, as all change is. And you’ll be tempted to step back into old patterns. But you have the power, wisdom and understanding to take charge and shift your world. Open the door to your dreams and step through.

Affirmation:
I realize the self-sabotage is an outdated attempt to keep me safe in a world that no longer exists. I now recognize any ways in which I undermine myself. It’s powerful to bring them out into the light so that I can see they are no longer needed. I now let go of what no longer serves me, and now establish new thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that support my dreams.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.