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A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

A Tip on How to Endure a Rough Day

Everyone’s had a rough day, at some point. The challenge is to find a way to get through it with your equilibrium intact. Many years ago, I had one that had me drawing on my inner resources and perspective to make it to the end of the day. Learn the mindset shift I used that can help you  to prevail over a tough day.

Transcript:

Have you ever had a rough day? I mean, who hasn’t? It could be a day that starts with you being late, and goes from bad to worse. Or having communication snafus. But it’s a day that you can’t wait to end.

Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I had a tough day at work that seemed to last forever.  I’d like to share the mind shift tactic that got me through it.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I motivate people to transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, and wellbeing. And much of it depends on mindset, which is what I had to use on the rough day I had.

I’d just started working at a picture framing shop that was part of a chain. Customers would come in and pick out the mats and frames they wanted. But instead of leaving the artwork with us to do the work, we cut everything and showed them how to put it all together. That was a challenge all by itself.

The nightmare for me began one Saturday morning. It was pouring, and for some reason, we had more customers come in that morning than we’d had combined in the two weeks prior. The front part of the store, where we helped customers choose their materials, was packed with people.

The work overwhelmed the two of us who were working, so we called in a couple of reinforcements. One of them was the former manager of that shop. She put me to cutting mats, which wasn’t a great idea, as I was still getting used to the equipment.

When my mats didn’t pass her high expectations, she reamed me out in front of the entire store. It wasn’t just a mild rebuke or reprimand, but a full-on raging at me. It felt like it went on forever, but it was probably just a couple of minutes.

You know the cartoon with one person yelling, and the other person is blown back on their heels and their hair streams out behind them? That’s how I felt. Instead of walking out, I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.”

She gave me the job helping customers choose their mats and frames. I got a lot of sympathetic looks from the people I helped, but it made me more humiliated. I kept telling myself, “This day will end. I’ll eventually be home, eating dinner and watching TV.” The phrase became a mantra for me to keep me going, as people kept coming in and filling the store.

Of course, finally, the day did end. Once the manager left for the day, my original coworker commiserated with me, telling me that the manager had often raged like that. Fortunately, that was the only time I ever encountered that manager.

A couple of months after this episode, the shop was sold and my services no longer required. That was fine with me. It had been a difficult job, with long hours and low pay, and that incident hadn’t improved it.

When you’re having a rough day, remember that it’s temporary. It will pass, and things will get better. Find some concept, an affirmation, or mantra that supports you and helps you to maintain your equilibrium as you slog through the mess.

Visualize it being over, as I did. I even celebrated when another hour would pass. “One more down, only X number left.” You can even break it down into getting through one minute at a time.

Eventually, the day will simply be a memory that will lose its importance. I do still remember that experience many decades later, but mainly for how I got through it.

For more tips and articles on mindset, motivation and empowerment, visit my blog http://www.EmpoweringYourMind.com Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, The Power of Perspective.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Podcast Interview – Mindset, Vision, Focus

Podcast Interview – Mindset, Vision, Focus

Janice Porter and I met in a networking group and shortly thereafter had a Zoom call to get to know each other better. She’s a Relationship Marketing Specialist and an amazing LinkedIn trainer, who gave me some tips on my LinkedIn profile, which I followed. She’s all about relationship building, online and offline, to grow your business and turn your connections into clients and referral partners. Relationships are so important to her that she has a podcast called Relationships Rule.

We hit it off in our call and, as a result, she asked me to be a guest on her podcast, to talk about focus and how it’s so easy to get scattered. It was a delightful conversation, wandering from how she struggles with being scattered to tips on how to stay focused to mindset to how success begins within. We even discussed whether I believe curiosity is innate or not.

We both are very curious people and it can take us both down rabbit holes. I can spend hours exploring an idea. She has a similar challenge. These tangents don’t help us when we’re trying to accomplish something. I gave her a suggestion, which I use, which can make sure our curiosity doesn’t undermine our goals.

We had a meandering conversation, but kept coming back to focus. We explored tactics to keep yourself focused. She also brought up that she didn’t really like to establish vision and goals. I explained why they’re beneficial and how you can create them in a way that will work with the subconscious mind.

As we discussed mindset, we explored how it’s more than positive thinking. It’s much more global than just optimism. We both weren’t so positive when we were younger and now choose to be positive. It is a choice about how to perceive a situation.

I mentioned how television news engages our emotions, which means it sends us into a light state of hypnosis. This can mean you accept what’s being said without analyzing it. I suggested to read news items, as you can be more objective.

We touched on the subject of believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s a good bet you’ll sabotage your goals and dreams. She asked what I noticed when someone started to believe in themselves. They immediately change their actions, and start getting better results.

At her request, I gave my last piece of advice.  Focus is a skill you can develop. You can learn how to practice focusing and how to do train yourself to do so. We knew we could have continued our conversation, but unfortunately, our time was limited and we had to end it there.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

At some point, everyone has to deal with someone who is irate. It may be a loved one, a boss, a friend or a customer. If they’re open to listening to your explanations, then you can relate to them on an equal basis and find a resolution. But if they’re irrational, and ignore your reasons, let go of the need to have them understand, at least at that point. They’ll just dismiss your explanation, because it doesn’t agree with what they want to hear or want you to do. You may just need to do what you need to, without telling them why. Because no matter what you say or do, they’re not going to understand.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

Sparks of Insight

“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.” William James

Studies keep reinforcing that you can change your life by changing the way you think about it. People have gone from living out of their car to being millionaires by transforming their attitudes. Others have uncovered a confidence in themselves and been able to reach their dreams. Your world changes when your beliefs change. Because when your attitudes change, your actions and behaviors change as well.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Where Do You Draw the Line?

Sometimes, it’s hard to know when you’re being taken advantage of. Maybe you tolerate inappropriate behavior, risk your own well being, and don’t even realize it. How can you recognize when this happens? There are some important cues that can tell you that someone has gone over your line. Once you begin to identify the signals, you can then decide how to handle the situation.

Transcript:

On social media a while back, someone I’ve known for quite some time  took advantage of our connection and regularly needled me. I pretty much ignored it, taking the advice of, “Don’t feed the trolls.” Usually, if someone who trolls you doesn’t get a reaction, they lose interest and leave you alone. They go trolling for people who are more responsive. But when this person escalated the attacks on me, I blocked them.

When the comments were benign, they were a nuisance, but didn’t bother me. This person was just looking for attention. But I drew the line when the comments got malicious. For me, that went way beyond what I would tolerate. The intent was disturbing.

Are there any areas where you’re tolerating inappropriate behavior? I don’t mean just on social media. Maybe, to keep the peace, you’re making concessions that make you uncomfortable or even resentful. For instance, you help someone out, but they expect much more. And you give in because you feel guilty. Or, in business, you cater to a customer who demands more of your time or resources than they’re entitled to. You capitulate because you’re afraid you’ll lose them as a customer.

How do you know when to draw the line? Pay attention to how you’re feeling about the interaction. When you feel agitated, confused, offended, upset, or like I did, disturbed, those are generally signals that someone has crossed a line. That’s when you need to decide what to do to support your well being and peace of mind. You have a right and a responsibility to yourself to take action. It could be just saying, “No,” or “Enough,” and following through on that intention. Or you may have to go further, like I did.

Should I have drawn the line earlier, before the comments escalated? For instance, should I have told them to stop needling me and be civil if they wanted to continue to converse with me? Possibly. But, they already knew what would happen if they went too far. And, knowing this person, I suspect a further warning wouldn’t have worked and the result would have eventually been the same. If a person deliberately chooses to be unpleasant, then there’s no reason for me to give them further  attention.

Draw your lines, set your limits, and by doing do, you show that you respect yourself and your values.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Learn To Say “No”

Learn To Say “No”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Years ago, I got caught up in too many outside activities. During this period, I was assistant secretary of a community organization that planned a yearly event, the secretary of a creative group that held a yearly contest, a member of an artist’s co-operative, attended classes, acted in community theater, and wrote publicity articles for the same community theater.

I was so stressed that I got very little sleep and my health began to suffer. Finally, I began backing out of some of the responsibilities. For the first time in my life, I had to tell people “No, I can’t do it anymore.” The head of the community theater group pleaded with me to continue writing articles, because “There’s no one else available.” I stuck to my guns, even though it was excruciatingly hard. And I learned that I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else did step in and write the articles.

An Important Skill

Learning when to say “no” is an important skill. For if you don’t establish what you can do and what you choose not to do, the world will take advantage of you. You have a right to say “no.” In life, there are always choices. When I wanted to be able to sleep and be healthier, I had to cut some activities out of my life. I then focused on a couple of activities that I felt were most important to me. In another situation, a person may decide they want to go hiking instead of going to a family dinner with their parents. You sometimes have to choose between what others’ want from you and what it is that you really want to do.

When I realized that I was resenting my involvement in so many organizations, I knew I had to let some go. I wasn’t doing myself any good. And even though individually they were activities that I enjoyed, I couldn’t give them my best. In learning to say “no,” I stated to the Universe, and to the world, what I was saying “yes” to. You can do the same. By saying “no” to some things or people, you’re saying “yes” to yourself and to the things that you choose to experience in your life.

Affirmation:

I know that I always have choices to make in my life. Sometimes, I must choose between equally enjoyable situations. In other cases, I must decide whether to please myself or others. I now give myself permission to say “no” to conditions in my life that drag me down or that aren’t of benefit to me at the present time. I realize that as I say “no” to some circumstances that I resent, I’m saying “yes” to myself and to what I really want to experience.

Uphold Your Boundaries for Greater Self-Worth

Uphold Your Boundaries for Greater Self-Worth

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Traffic light that signals both stop and go

When I was a child, I didn’t agree with the phrase, “Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile,” when referring to how people treat you. I believed that people were kind and would treat others the way they’d want to be treated. As an adult, I learned this wasn’t always true. I’ve encountered many people who tried to take advantage of, or dominate, me.

Originally, I’d explain my boundaries because I expected my limits to be respected. But over and over again, people ignored my limits and steamrolled over them. As I became older and wiser, I realized that the phrase should often be, “Give them a millimeter and they’ll take your soul.”

Boundaries vs. Barriers

There’s a difference between boundaries and barriers. Barriers are walls based on fear of getting hurt, getting too close, or being exploited. Barriers are designed to keep people away. These barricades were probably developed because of painful experiences you had in the past. Unfortunately, barriers don’t just keep others out. They imprison you and prevent you from having your best life. And you deserve the best that the Universe has to offer.

Boundaries are the limits you set on the kind of treatment you’ll allow from another person. This person can be someone you know socially, personally or professionally. These limits define where you leave off and the other person begins. In Universal mind, we are all one. But on the physical plane, we are separate individuals. You have your values and rights, and they have theirs. They’re not entitled to impose on you or vice versa.

Your boundaries are a function of your sense of self-worth, values and self-respect. If you lack these, then you may be allowing people to demean or abuse you. Boundaries are established from a position of strength, assurance, and self-value. They ensure that your rights are respected when people get close to you. They install a sense of safety for you, as well as for the other person. They know where your lines are drawn, and that they must respect them or suffer the consequences.

How to Establish Boundaries

It’s not easy to set and keep boundaries. There are some people who will continue to push against your boundaries to test them, no matter what you say. Others will honor them. But it’s your responsibility to make sure your limits are upheld by the following:

Decide what you’ll tolerate. It’s best to make this determination before the situation arises. Will you allow someone to tease you unmercifully if they’re a family member? What if they’re a boss or a client? Figure out the characteristics of good and bad clients, coworkers, and friends and set your intention to the Law of Attraction to attract positive people. A signal that a boundary has been breached is if you feel uncomfortable with certain interactions. As much as possible, avoid those who continually violate your boundaries.

Stand up for your rights. You have a right to be treated with dignity. Learn to say, “No,” or “Enough,” to those who are uncivil, discourteous or rude. Most people are simply trying to get their needs met. The ones who take advantage are simply trying to get their needs met at your expense. Realize their behavior isn’t yours to fix. It’s their problem and only they can change it. They may not choose to because it’s been getting them what they want. The Universe doesn’t ask that you be a martyr to people to make them feel better.

Consequences. How will you handle behavior that goes past your limit? You can’t change other people. But you can insist that they treat you the way you want. If they don’t, then decide ahead of time what the consequences will be if they don’t. What are you willing to do? Actions speak louder than words. Don’t use a repercussion as an empty threat or manipulation. Both will fail. Instead, state the potential result if they disregard your boundary again, and if they do it anyway, take follow through on your warning. If they refuse to respect you, it’s appropriate to close the door on any future interaction with them. The Universe will find other people that are better for you.

The Result of Establishing Boundaries

Eventually, the people who tried to intimidate me left my life, either through their choice or mine. It’s not easy to establish and maintain boundaries, but it’s certainly better than letting people abuse you. When you set boundaries, you train people how you expect to be treated. And you instruct the Law of Attraction about the kind of people to draw into your life. People will respect you more, disappear or you’ll let them go, depending on the situation. By standing up for yourself, you’re building self-confidence, authenticity and courage. And best of all, you will retain your soul.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for me and I deserve the best that Life has to offer. I am worthy of being treated well in all of my relationships. I have the right to decide how I want to be treated, and to insist that I be treated that way. The Universe completely supports me as I establish my boundaries. As I uphold my boundaries, the Law of Attraction brings me people who will respect them.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Podcast Interview – Thrive Through Greater Self-Worth

Emmalou Penrod M.A., of Healing Your Families, and I were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. In our initial conversation, we realized we had something in common. We both had been trained to use hypnosis to improve people’s lives! She’s a retired schoolteacher, and now coaches families to have more peaceful homes. She’s a parenting and family strengthening expert, and brings her knowledge of counseling to help heal families.

As we talked, we had such a connection that she invited me to be interviewed on her podcast at WinWinWomen.tv. Although family issues aren’t my professional area of expertise, one topic that affects everyone is self-worth. My specialties as a hypnotherapist were stress management, success programming and self-esteem/self-worth issues. Since Emmalou and I agreed that having better self-worth made better parents, we decided that would be a great topic to cover.

In the interview, we began by talking about how I became a focus coach for women small business owners. I explained that women tend to be scattered because of all their responsibilities. It’s difficult for them to focus for any length of time on any one thing. But focus is necessary to accomplish anything.

Then Emmalou asked about the opposite of focus, “What do you think of multitasking?”

“Multitasking” is a myth,” I answered, and explained why. She said she’d heard it described as “a lie,” which is also true. Multitasking keeps your brain fractured between all the different tasks. It breaks your train of thought, so you can’t build up momentum on any project or task.

This led into discussing the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem can be impacted by outside variables and self-worth is more internal and fundamental. And both are impacted by having a strong inner critic. Emmalou liked my perspective on the inner critic not being a bad guy, but fulfilling a role that a person has outgrown.

Emmalou asked how a person could improve their self-worth. I answered that being kinder to oneself and being mindful helped to support and build self-worth. At the end of the conversation, I shared three simple steps on how to be kinder to yourself.

Because of Emmalou’s background, expertise and knowledge, I loved talking with her about this subject. I could have gone on for hours, but we had to fit into the podcast’s time frame. But I have articles on this topic here and on my website to help you reclaim your worth. And Emmalou has articles on her blog to help you become a better person, and thus, a better parent.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

“4 Ways To Allow Your Inner Wisdom To Help You”

“4 Ways To Allow Your Inner Wisdom To Help You”

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Our culture considers asking for help a sign of weakness. You’re supposed to be able to take care of things by yourself. And most people were taught that “God helps those who help themselves,” which discourages turning even to God for assistance. So, you work to become self-reliant and try to bootstrap your way through the challenges of your life without any assistance.

But there’s a place where you can always go for help. Within you, there’s an innate core of creativity and resourcefulness that’s available for you to call upon. Most people don’t turn to it because our culture also doesn’t trust anything it can’t control. And you certainly can’t predict how instinct or intuition work.

Inner Guidance

Although you may not actively seek out inner guidance, you often tap into your instinct without realizing it. Whenever you have a gut response or a hunch, you’ve accessed it. You may get a sense that the person you’re dealing with isn’t trustworthy. Or you have an impulse not to take that particular route home. These are the types of incidents that cause you to automatically access your instinct.

Your instinct generally catches your attention through a physical or emotional feeling. Some people are more tuned into it than others. It’s very basic, and operates on an unconscious level. Instinct’s main drive is to keep you safe and help you survive.

Instinct is something you’re born with. But you can also draw on your intuition, which comes from your knowledge and experience. Intuition can be developed and be a valuable tool for guidance or to help you discover solutions. It’s simply letting the subconscious mind satisfy one of its essential purposes, to solve problems.

Whenever you need some direction or guidance, you can always ask your own inner creative power for help. It’s always willing, available and functioning. As you begin to listen, you’ll notice an idea come to mind, a word, a sense, or a slight urge in a specific direction. It may take awhile for the subconscious to come up with a solution, but since its always working, it will find one.

Access Inner Wisdom

Here are some ways to begin accessing and developing this valuable wisdom:

1. Ask for help, a solution or direction from your inner wisdom. A good way to do this is to write down the request. Then, ask about it several times a day, and let it go each time. This keeps the request at the top of the subconscious mind’s “To do” list, and lets it know that the issue is important. Answers may come when least expected, such as when your mind is occupied with something else. Be open to any ideas or promptings that might come and write them down.

2. Before bed, ask a question and forget about it. Then, “Sleep on it.” This allows the creative mind to mull over the request while you’re in slumber. In the morning, when you’re awake, an answer or at least a possibility to follow will probably present itself. If not, ask again that night.

3. Whenever receiving an answer, idea, sense, or hunch, acknowledge it. Even deciding not to act on the concept recognizes the impulse and validates it.  Valuing the creative mind’s efforts gives it permission and power to ponder the issue even more. French philosopher Theodore Simon Jouffroy said, “The subconscious mind will not take the trouble to work for those who do not believe in it.”  The subconscious needs to know that it’s being listened to and trusted.

4. Use your conscious mind to evaluate the idea and decide if it’s appropriate or fits the situation. The subconscious isn’t going to be right on target every time. It may come up with ideas that are close, but won’t actually work. Let your subconscious mind know if it’s on the right track or not. If it’s not, get more specific to allow your creative mind find a more suitable solution. But if it’s close and just needs more refinement, give your subconscious more information as to what is right about the idea and what doesn’t work. Then start the process over again.

This is a practice. You’re developing an unconscious awareness to be able to use it deliberately for conscious insight. By doing so, you can then take inspired action. And just as when you’re cultivating any skill, the more you use it, the stronger and more accurate it’ll become.

Affirmation

My intuition is a resource I can call upon for guidance and help. It’s a natural ability that I can develop as I use it. I’m simply tapping into my subconscious mind’s essential purpose to solve problems. I pay attention to any sense, prompting, idea or hunch that arises. As I listen to it and take the impressions seriously, the stronger and more accurate it is. I trust that my subconscious mind has the knowledge to direct me to the Divine Right solution.

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

How Are You Programming Your Inner GPS?

How Are You Programming Your Inner GPS?

You have an inner GPS that guides you to your goal or vision, just as an external GPS will tell you the route to take to a destination. You program your inner GPS either deliberately or inadvertently, and it will keep you on course or take you off it. But you can correct its course by staying aware of your direction. Learn the 3 things to stay aware of as you progress towards your vision, and how they program your inner GPS.

Transcript:

I’m sure you know what a GPS or Global Positioning System is, right? It’s a device that you use, usually in a car, to direct you to your destination. You decide where you want to end up, program that into the GPS, and it calculates the best route to get you there. Then, step by step, the GPS tells you the route to take.

You also have an inner GPS that you program to guide you to a goal you select. Your inner GPS operates on the vision of what you want, and then your GPS figures out how to get you there. Very similar process to the GPS you use in your vehicle.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach. I’d like to share the 3 things, after your vision that you use to program your inner GPS.

What if you’re not keeping your attention on your vision? Maybe you’re afraid you won’t be able to achieve it, or you get distracted by something else along the way. Your GPS operates on where you aim your attention.

There’s a saying, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If your attention strays from your vision, you have effectively reprogrammed your inner GPS to wherever you’re redirecting your focus. It may or may not be where you’ve consciously chosen to go.

You can determine whether or not you’re on course to your vision. You’ll have landmarks, or goals, along the way that you know you should be passing or achieving. If you find you’re off course, check if you’ve unknowingly changed your GPS’s programming.

1. Where has your attention been? Has it been on your desired destination or on something else? Have you not been keeping your attention on where you want to go, or have you been distracted?

2. What’s your attitude about your vision? Do you want it badly enough to work towards it? Or are you afraid of the changes it would bring? 

3. What actions have you been taking? Are they ones that propel you towards your vision or to some other destination?

Constantly monitor your attention, attitudes and actions, which all combine to program your inner GPS with your vision. When you assess them and they’re all aligned, then your inner GPS will keep you on course to your destination.

To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com

Thank you for watching. Stay focused.

Read the accompanying article, Update Your Internal GPS to Reach Your Vision.