optimism » Empowering Your Mind

How to Become More Positive When Things Go Wrong

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Jan 072021

By Linda-Ann Stewart

Haven’t you had days when everything seemed to go wrong? You spilled your coffee on your proposal, the copier jammed, and you had a flat tire. Or maybe you’ve had times when the future looked dark and it was hard to see any light. When you’re down, it’s hard to see that there’s a way up. It becomes difficult to remember a time when things went well.

In these times, it’s challenging to stay positive, even when you know that being optimistic brings better results. You know shifting into a more upbeat frame of mind can turn things around and open doors for you. But when you’re down, it’s hard to focus on being positive. And this shuts down your ability to innovate.

What if you had a journal of evidence to remind you of times when things worked out? When you read about instances when you had good things happen, your mood lifts. Shifting your attention to something better changes your perspective and life flows more smoothly. You open to a broader range of possibilities and engage your creative mind to find solutions.

When you keep a journal of times when you were happy or when a situation worked out, it keeps you focused on the positive. And a journal gives you something to refer to when you need a mental boost. The more often you add to this journal, the more you train your mind to look for joy in everyday occurrences. You create an upward spiral of positivity that buoys you up when things go wrong.

There are several types of journals you can keep, and none of them take much time to update each day. Consider creating one of the following:

Gratitude. Evidence shows that writing three to ten gratitudes each day can improve your attitude within three weeks. People who keep a gratitude journal feel better about their lives as a whole and make more progress on their personal goals. Also, they better at bouncing back after adversity.

Falling Star. This is when you have something amazing drop into your lap. For example, you talk to someone in line at the store and gain a new customer. Or you mention that you need a plumber, and your neighbor gives you a great reference for one. By remembering that good things come when you least expect it, you prime your mind to seek opportunities for you.

Bright Side. This is when a situation looks grim, but suddenly turns around. For instance, I had to find a new home insurance policy after my old one had increased substantially. My new agent found one, with the same coverage, for almost half the price. This one could also be called “Dawn,” as in, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”

Awe. What inspires awe for you? A beautiful sunset, a hummingbird hovering, or crashing waves? Awe can be found in the smallest of moments and can bring a sense of happiness and joy. When you take note of them, you remember how you felt at that time. Referring to a moment of awe can reduce stress and improve your well being.

Manifestation or the Law of Attraction. When have you successfully attracted or manifested something you were focusing on? Describe it in this journal so you can recall it in the future. Include your attitude and belief about the situation. Your item could be as simple as finding a great parking place or as complex as being offered the perfect job. This journal can encourage and support your spirituality.

Daily practice with any of these types of journals conditions your mind to seek out the positive, which keeps you more optimistic. And being able to refer to them when you’re down reminds you that things can, and will, get better. It brings you back into a sense of balance. It takes a bit of effort and dedication, but the rewards will be long lasting.

Affirmation:

The Universe supports all of my endeavors. When I keep my thoughts positive, I provide a clear channel through which the Universe can work. I stay positive by remembering times when events have gone well for me. In so doing, it creates an upbeat attitude and allows me to be more effective.

Watch the accompanying video, Use Journaling for Mindfulness and Success.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Guided Meditation for Kindness

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Dec 102020

Do you want to be happier, more positive, kinder and have better emotional control? Studies show that meditating on kindness and compassion can bring you all that and more. Linda-Ann leads you through a short meditation that induces a sense of compassion towards yourself and others. And you’ll also learn how you can maximize its effectiveness in your daily life.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. Do you want to be happier, more positive, kinder and have better emotional control? There’s a very simple way to do that. It’s by meditating on kindness and compassion. Within two weeks of practicing this type of meditation every day, you’ll notice an improvement in all that I mentioned.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a vision strategist. This type of meditation will also cause you to feel better about achieving your goals. A meditation like this will actually change your brain to cause you to be more compassionate. Isn’t that amazing?

To give you an idea of how to do it, I’m going to lead you through a very short example of this type of meditation.

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Bring to mind someone you love and care about deeply. As you think of them, imagine a warmth in and around your heart towards this person. Notice your feelings of love, caring, well being and good will towards this person. You want the best for them. Imagine a golden light surrounds your heart and contains all of these beautiful feelings. Imagine that light goes out towards that person, filling them with all these wonderful feelings.

As you do, say phrases like the following to yourself, feeling each one as a wish for that person:

May you be whole.

May you be well.

May you filled with peace.

May you be happy.

Take a deep breath. Now, imagine all the good wishes from that golden light directed towards yourself. Feel them. Again, repeat phrases like the following:

May I be whole.

May I be well.

May I filled with peace.

May I be happy.

Take a deep breath… and open your eyes. It feels good, doesn’t it?

You don’t have to use the phrases the I used. Find phrases that work for you. The best results happen when you do this type of meditation for 30 minutes a day. As you go through the process, you can add different types of people.

For instance, imagine an acquaintance or someone neutral, someone that you know but don’t really feel one way or the other about. Send them compassion. And then imagine someone that you’ve had a falling out with, a conflict with, or some other negative experience with. Send them good will. This meditation will help to free you from the burden of the negative emotions associated with that person.

Although the recommendation is to devote 30 minutes a day to the meditation, once you know how to do it, you can practice it at any time during the day. When you get up, you can send good wishes to your loved ones. On the way to work, you can send good will to your fellow commuters. And, eventually, when you have to deal with a grumpy boss or nasty customer, you can imagine sending them kindness. It may not improve their disposition, but it’ll do wonders for yours.

I’ll post links to a recordings that can help you. The first is a Compassion Meditation by the Greater Good Science Center that will lead you through the entire half-hour sequence. The second is a short song on Loving-Kindness, by Karen Drucker. You can memorize the easy chant and use it during your daily life. It’s one I sometimes use when I’m walking or when I’m driving.

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com. You’ll receive the guide, as well as a training video that walks you through it with tips and directions to support you in accomplishing your goal.

Thank you for watching. May you be filled with peace and happiness.

Read the accompanying article, The Kindness Paradox: Give Kindness and Receive Joy .

The Kindness Paradox: Give Kindness and Receive Joy

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Dec 032020

by Linda-Ann Stewart

How do you feel when someone is kind to you? For instance, when a friend sends you a card, gives you a compliment or your spouse does the dishes for you. Don’t you feel uplifted? And how do you feel when you do something nice for someone else? Maybe you do an errand for a friend, call to see how they’re doing, or help a neighbor carry in her groceries. Don’t you feel a sense of satisfaction? And what if you see someone be generous to a stranger? Doesn’t that give you a warm glow and motivate you to do something considerate, too?

When you see, do, or are the recipient of kindness, it releases hormones that cause you to feel good, inspired and happy. It stimulates the reward centers of the brain. Within a few minutes the hormones have stopped flowing, but by remembering the action, you can recreate the joy. Kindness is like a pebble thrown into a pond, with the ripples extending outward and touching places unseen.

The Benefits of Kindness

The paradox of kindness and compassion is the benefits it brings to the one who acts, as well as the recipient. Not only do you impact the person you’re giving to, you’re receiving good feelings in return. Remember what your mother used to say, “It’s better to give than receive”? In this case, you receive far more than you give.

Showing kindness and compassion to others bestows the following on you:

You’re more attractive to others, personally and professionally.
People like and trust you more.
You’re more creative.
Your self-esteem and self-worth increases.
Your optimism and positive thinking grows.
You feel calmer and happier.
Your stress, pain, anxiety, depression and blood pressure reduces.

Kindness Can Be Challenging

Sometimes being kind can be challenging. There are people who irritate you and you may want to lash out at them. But you don’t know what has happened in their life that has caused them to be annoying. These are times when being altruistic and compassionate can have the best results. You may just change someone’s life, in addition to your own.

For instance, consider being kind in the following conditions:

Smile and compliment the grouchy clerk. They might have had a bad day full of grumpy customers and it’s rubbed off on them.
Let the aggressive driver into the lane in front of you. They may be running late to an important appointment that could be vital to their well being.
Don’t complain when the elderly gentleman cuts ahead of you in line at the grocery store. He may have mild dementia and not have even noticed you were there.

In difficult situations, consider what the other person might be dealing with that’s caused them to be rude. You’re not kind just for them. You do it for you, because it’s better for your health, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Focus on Kindness

The more you focus on being kind, the more you want to be kind. And the kinder you are, the more you’ll grow that area of your brain. Pure altruism brings you all the rewards mentioned and more. As you’re being kind to others, don’t forget to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. You deserve to be treated well, too, by yourself and others.

In the Christmas season, we focus on peace and goodwill towards others. Why can’t we have this spirit all year long? Think of the life we’d all have. It begins with each one of us being kind, on a daily basis. It’s a very simple mindset that takes on a joyful life of its own.

AFFIRMATION:

Whenever I have a choice of how to respond to a situation, I choose kindness. Kindness allows the spirit of the Universe to flow through me, blessing my life and the life I impact. I cultivate a generous spirit and compassionate attitude towards myself and others. I generate peace and goodwill towards all people, every day of the year.

Watch the accompanying video, Guided Meditation for Kindness.

Sparks of Insight

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Nov 022020

“A positive attitude is like a fire. Unless you continue to add fuel, it goes out.” – Alexander Lockhart

You can’t remain positive in a void. If you try to coast on your attitude, it will falter. In the face of our negative world, you need to read encouraging literature, be around uplifting people, and minimize your exposure to negative news. It’s too easy to be dragged down by the worlds (and other people’s) pessimistic perspectives. Keep feeding your optimism, in any way you can.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

For Success, Seek Well-being First

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Sep 042020

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Many people chase after the elusive dream of success, thinking it will bring them happiness. They work harder and harder, but continue to feel unsatisfied. They achieve periodic goals or milestones, and get transitory elation from them, but that jubilation doesn’t last. What if they have it backwards? What if a sense of well-being leads to success, rather than the other way around?

We all know successful people who are driven and unhappy. So, it’s true that some people are successful even though they’re miserable. However, they’re using work as a drug to avoid their distress. They’re trying to fill a deep well of insecurity and inadequacy with power and control. But they’ll never have enough success to feel happy or complete.

Why Well-being Matters

Studies show that people who have a sense of well-being and optimism have a likelier chance of achieving the success they seek. They also have a greater sense of satisfaction in their lives, both personally and professionally. They’re more productive, creative and resilient in life. Since that’s the case, wouldn’t it be a better idea to seek well-being before success?

Your brain and subconscious can be altered by your focus. When you take positive actions, you rewire the brain and build more resources for the subconscious mind to use to help you. You can improve your happiness and well-being with some simple exercises to change the way you think.

How to Cultivate a Sense of Well-being

You can train your mind with the habit of being more positive and peaceful. Here are four ways to cultivate a sense of well-being and create more satisfaction in your life.

Be kind to others. Volunteering and helping others engenders well-being and improves productivity. Even just smiling at others increases your happiness. Recently, a couple of my friends have been sending cards to their acquaintances and they feel uplifted by doing so. I’ve been one of their recipients and it’s uplifted me as well. For this kind of boost, you can also send an email that acknowledges or compliments a friend or coworker.

Be mindful. For only a couple of minutes a day, just be present with yourself. Notice how you feel, mentally and physically. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings. Scan your body to notice where it might be tense, and then relax that area. Because I spend so much time on the computer, I will periodically close my eyes and relax various areas of my body. What impacts the mind, impacts the body and vice versa. When your mind is tense, so is your body. And when your body is relaxed, your mind is at peace.

Do deep breathing. A couple of minutes every day do some deep breathing. Breathe in for a count of four, breath out for a count of eight. This signals your nervous system to calm down. After stressful experiences, practicing this activity has quickly lowered my blood pressure to almost normal. This is a good exercise when you feel pressured with a deadline or decision. You’ll be more effective coming from a peaceful frame of mind.

Keep a gratitude journal. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for. This exercise makes you notice positive things around you. One day last month, a heavy rainstorm came and passed while I was in the grocery store. It seems like a small thing, but I was grateful that my timing was such that I didn’t get wet. Studies show that within three weeks of daily gratitude practice, you’ll be more optimistic.

You only need to do one of these each day to notice an improved mood and mindset within a few weeks. When you have a sense of well-being and a more positive mindset, your actions have a better outcome. Instead of waiting to be successful to be happy, why not feel better while you’re working towards success?

Affirmation:

The Universe created me to be successful and supports me in my endeavors. There is a Divine plan for my success in life. Everything I need for success is provided. To align myself with the Universe’s plan for me, I cultivate my sense of well-being, happiness and positive attitude.