comfort zone » Empowering Your Mind

How to Cope with the Inevitability of Change

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Aug 052021

by Linda-Ann Stewart

The world is changing all the time. Sometimes, it sedately plods along, but other times, change explodes and disrupts the status quo in a major way. When this happens, it’s normal to resist change, especially because it’s imposed on you.

Whether your choice or not, change is threatening and scary. Nothing will ever be exactly the same as it was. You don’t know what you may lose, and no one likes to leave their comfort zone or feel out of control. But there are times when massive change happens whether you like it or not.

How Change Affects You

For instance, a deadly pandemic creates a major upheaval in everyone’s life. As a result, you could have to find another job, or you need to move to a new location, or a loved one may become chronically ill. Unwelcome and unexpected change brings uncertainty, which leads to stress and ultimately to anxiety.

The Universe often nudges you out of your comfort zone with unwelcome conditions. If you don’t take the hint, it pushes more forcefully. The Universe wants you to keep expanding and evolving, and you can’t do that by staying in your old habits. You’ll have to let go of what no longer serves you to flow with the Universe and adjust to the new situation.

When change is sudden and affects your personal life, your normal response is to go into shock. Shock gives you time to process the reality of what’s happened. When you begin to emerge from the numbness, you may get anxious because you don’t know what to do. Or you do know what to do, and it’s overwhelming.

How to Handle the Uncertainty

When you find ways to handle the uncertainty, you feel more in control. Here are four steps you can do to take charge of your life.

1. Accept the change. The more you resist or deny the change, the less energy, resourcefulness or time you have to adjust to it. If you can’t accept the change yet, acknowledge that it has affected you. This is your first step to coping with it and moving forward.

2. Grieve the loss. For every change, something has to be left behind. There can also be opportunities, but often they come later in the process. At this point, if you have a sense of loss of what you valued, allow yourself the space to mourn. Only after grieving can you seek how to extract some good from the situation.

3. Deal with the anxiety. What can you do in the moment to reduce your anxiety? Maybe it’s to learn a new skill, do some research, or go to a caregiving support group. Or maybe all you can do in the moment is take some deep breaths to ground yourself.

4. Make a plan. No matter how small the steps might be, or even one tiny step, make a plan. This will bring you a sense of control, lower your stress, and allow you to think more clearly. When you take one step, figure out what the next two might be, and take them. Keep doing this until you build up momentum.

When you become proactive, you take charge and begin to adjust to the change that’s affecting your life. As you chart your course through the troubled waters, you can find a way to survive and thrive with the changes that have happened.

Affirmation:

I acknowledge that change has altered the course of my life. The Universe will guide me in my direction and give me definite insight into what to do next. I take the actions I know to take, and the next step now appears. Everything is in Divine Order and works out in my best interests.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

Don’t Slow Before the Finish Line

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Mar 082021

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I don’t watch much sports, but my husband and I do enjoy the summer and winter Olympics. Over the years, I’ve noticed something interesting about many athletes who are in speed contests. Whether they’re runners, ice skaters or cyclists, when they’re in a race, they often ease up as they approach the finish line. Sometimes the front runner, who has slowed down, is passed by another athlete who has kept up their pace until after they’ve crossed the finish line.

This isn’t just true about athletes. It’s also true in any kind of goal achievement. The same problem affects changing a habit or achieving a sales target. Do you have the finish line in sight and slow down or stop your efforts? Often, when someone is about to accomplish a goal, whether personal or professional, they sabotage their attempt. They’ll stop putting energy towards the goal, try to coast across the line, stop just short of it, or abandon it completely just before they’ve reached their objective. If you do this, you restrict the amount of abundance from the Universe.

Some Reasons You Hold Yourself Back (and what to do about them)

There are a variety of reasons for this kind of self-sabotage. Here are a three of them, and suggestions to maintain your progress until you’ve accomplished your goal.

Fear of success. You hold yourself back because you’re afraid of what success would bring, such as extra responsibility, criticism or envy of others. As long as you fall short of your aim, you avoid the potential consequences. For instance, you work on a project, but as you approach completion, you get distracted. Or you procrastinate finishing, because it’s not perfect. If you turn in a less than stellar result, you can use it as an excuse for not getting that promotion.

If you’re concerned about extra responsibility, take some extra training so you can deal with the additional authority. And you aren’t responsible for how someone else reacts to your success. Don’t take it personally. You are simply their latest scapegoat for their own insecurities. Just focus on doing your work to the best of your ability and take pride in that. The Universe supports you and will provide whatever help you need to deal with your concerns.

You overreach. You set a goal that is more than what you actually want. For instance, you state you want to lose twenty pounds, when your actual intention is to lose fifteen. The issue is that your subconscious knows your actual goal. You can’t fool it. Your subconscious will support you to your true target, but not any farther. That means that as you approach your desired weight, you start eating foods that aren’t on your diet. You indulge in some snack chips, then a cupcake, and your weight reduction grinds to a halt near your internal desire.

To remedy this, remember that your goal is an artificial ideal. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale, shift your attention to the process that’s getting you there. In this case, your attention would be on eating healthier foods, in smaller amounts, and getting more exercise. Small servings of desserts would only be for special occasions. Your reduced weight is then the outcome of your lifestyle shift.

This can be true of sales goals, as well. Spend more time concentrating on your daily task of creating and contacting leads instead of your eventual sales. Your process will result in with more sales than aiming at a target, though the target is helpful to keep you going in the right direction. Your goal tells the Universe what you want. Your job is to follow through with your process and the Universe will provide the result.

Stay in your comfort zone. You’ve set a goal that you’re comfortable achieving. You have confidence that you can reach your aspiration without much difficulty. It doesn’t stretch you and you just go through the motions to accomplish it. Once you do, you feel so good that you repeat the process so you can feel uplifted again. But you stay in the same place and don’t improve.

Stop limiting yourself. Open your mind to the abundance of the Universe. It is safe to accept more good. If you’re not expanding out of your comfort zone, that zone will shrink and it will be harder to maintain your current level of performance. Motivational gurus and coaches encourage people to choose a goal that scares them. This allows you to grow, learn and gain more confidence as you progress. What objective would make you feel a little intimidated and uncomfortable? Start taking steps, baby ones if need be, and accept the fear.

Focus on Your Steps

If you undermine your progress when approaching your goal, stop thinking about the end result. Instead, focus on the steps of your plan and your procedure for moving forward. When you accomplish one step, tackle the next one. That way, you won’t be as intimidated or concerned about where you are in relation to the finish line. And who knows, you might exceed your goal and reach the stars.

Affirmation:

The Universe wants the best for you and supports you in all your endeavors. Whatever you need to achieve your goal is provided. You’re Divinely Guided in your direction and activities. As you take the steps necessary, the Universe takes care of the result.

Watch the accompanying video, Overcome the Obstacles to Your Goal.

Sparks of Insight

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Jan 202021

Have you gotten stuck in a comfort zone? If so, this doesn’t help you to evolve, progress or improve your life. If you’re completely comfortable where you are, you need to do something that pushes you. There’s an old saying, “If always do what always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Life is expansion, change and if you don’t choose it willingly, Life has a habit of thrusting it on you. Step out and do something that makes you uncomfortable, like asking for some help, take a class in something you’re interested in, make that extra phone call you’ve been dreading. By expanding your comfort zone by just a bit, you’re attracting more good to you.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Finding Your Course in Unstable Times

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Jul 162020

by Linda-Ann Stewart

People are feeling knocked off balance by the Covid-19 situation, the shut-down, economic chaos, and everything else that has happened in the past few months. It’s hard to find direction, focus and to create a plan, when you don’t know what’s going to happen next. It’s like your foundation is gone and you’re walking on shifting sands. Unfortunately, I suspect this is probably going to be the situation for a while.

Upheavals Happen

We get used to life flowing on, smoothly, and think that’s the way it will always be. Often, changes happen only in one or two areas of life at a time. And, generally, there’s a warning and transition from one point to another. But then there are times when there’s a sudden upheaval that rocks every aspect of our lives. Losing a loved one, a natural disaster or man-made catastrophe can alter our entire internal and external landscape. And that’s what we’re dealing with now.

The Universe often uses these situations to knock us out of our comfort zone. We’ve stayed too long on one level of consciousness, or held onto people and conditions that we’ve outgrown. The more we fight moving on, the harder the transition will be for us. The flow of the Universe will shove us until we have to let go and allow it to take us to a greater life.

There are those who are still resisting the reality. As a result, they’ll have a harder time adjusting. Instead of trying to live as if everything will go back to what they’re used to, they could use that energy to plan for a new future. For the rest of us, the idea that we’re living in a new reality has sunk in. But we’re still struggling to adjust to and handle our sudden change of circumstances.

How to Get on Track

There are some strategies you can do that will help you get back on course.

Develop a new vision and plan. What worked a few months ago won’t work now, personally or professionally. We had similar issues after 9/11 and the 2008 recession. Those upheavals changed much of how we did things. This time, instead of face-to-face contact, we’re connecting virtually. In person meetings will return, but not at the level they were before. Virtual meetings for personal and professional interactions are here to stay. How can you incorporate this technology, and other changes, into your strategies?

Be flexible. Your goals may have to be adjusted on the fly. If you try to be too strict with how you achieve goals, you could find yourself missing your target. Conditions may change quickly, and you’ll have to roll with them. Create a plan B and C, just in case you have to alter course in an instant. What kind of contingency plans can you develop to deal with your circumstances?

Learn to live with uncertainty. It’s hard to get comfortable with this idea, because we want to be in control. It’s normal to want stability and security. But for a while, the conditions we’ve always depended on are going to be fluctuating. Letting go of the need for control will give you more freedom and ability to adapt. How can you open your mind to today’s available possibilities and opportunities?

Difficult times come and go, but with flexibility, you will survive. Although expansion may be on hold for now, this is when you need position yourself for future growth. As the months progress, you’re going to be acquiring new skills, abilities, and resources. They will serve you well in the future.

Affirmation:

Life is constantly changing. I now align myself with the flow of the Universe and accept that change is happening. I adjust to the shift that’s taking place, and find ways to thrive through it. Something wonderful for me emerges from this situation.

Watch the complementary video Finding Focus in Unsettled Times.

Stop Believing Your Excuses

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Apr 122018

Are you believing the excuses you’re telling yourself? These are the reasons why you aren’t going after what it is you want or taking an action that will move your forward to your dream. You may think that it’s a valid reason, but generally, it’s not. It’s simply a way to keep you in your comfort zone and from doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Learn how you can stop believing your excuses and start creating ones that support your goals.

Transcript:

Are you believing the excuses you’re telling yourself? These are the reasons why you aren’t going after what it is you want or taking an action that will move you forward to a goal or dream. You may think that it’s a valid reason, but generally, it’s not. It’s simply a way to keep you in your comfort zone and from doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

I’ve been a hypnotherapist for almost 30 years. Clients came to me to create change in their lives. They might want to stop smoking, lose weight, feel better about themselves, or reduce their stress, and they hadn’t been able to do it on their own. And much of those reasons were because the things that they were telling themselves about it. So one of my tasks was to de-hypnotize them of those incorrect/false beliefs. Think about that. And many of those beliefs were wrapped in excuses. I’d like to touch on how you can stop believing your excuses so you can have a freer, happier and more successful life.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, Heartvision Consulting. I’m a vision strategist and help women entrepreneurs align their heart with their vision. As a hypnotherapist and coach, I’ve helped clients achieve their goals. Now, as a vision strategist coach, I help women entrepreneurs who are stuck, scattered and tired of being run ragged by their business to align their heart with their vision, get clear, focused and accelerate their business to the next level.
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One of the things I do is help them to recognize their excuses and what they’re believing that’s holding them in that self-sabotaging feedback loop. It’s the same type of cycle you get into when you find yourself making excuses why you don’t…. go to the gym, refuse that cookie, make that follow up phone call, finish your project on time, stand up for yourself …. Fill in the blank. Those excuses become self-fulfilling prophecies.

You tell yourself why you can’t do something/aren’t doing it this time. If you keep telling yourself that same idea, it becomes a belief, and then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Without realizing it, you’re making sure that belief becomes true, which just confirms it for you. That’s the feedback loop you have to de-hypnotize yourself from and break.

For instance, I had a client come in to reduce stress. One of her complaints was that she didn’t have enough time and get everything done in her work. That’s a common enough complaint, isn’t it? Do you have it? There’s so much to do that we just run out of time and energy to get it all done, right? And you can’t do anything about that, right? Time is finite, right? Well… that’s a belief. And believing it means that your actions will make it into a reality. Bear with me.

My client and I worked to deal with some of her issues to reduce stress and this was one of the big ones. I gave her the suggestion that she was able to get twice as much done in half the amount of time. A bit of an exaggeration, but… she found that she got creative. She figured out how to ditch some of the things she really didn’t need to be concerned with and how to streamline others. Within a short time, my client was able to get all her work done with time to spare.

What excuses are you turning into beliefs and making real? What are you preventing yourself from having? The mind is very creative when you give it a goal, whether that idea is good, bad or indifferent. Belief becomes a goal. With my client, we just had to de-hypnotize her of the false belief and then get her mind focused on a new idea so it would figure out how to make it real.

For you to overcome your excuses, you have be become aware of them. Notice what you tell yourself whenever you’re avoiding something, or telling yourself “I can’t.” Those are 2 signs of an excuse coming on. Confront and challenge your excuse. Why do you think it’s true? When might it not be true? What can you do to undo it?

These are all things that I help a client with. But you can do it for yourself. When you de-hypnotize yourself of false beliefs, and start to focus on ones you want to be true, you’ll make them real. It takes some dedication, stay focused, but you can do it.

If you’d like more tips on how to make your day flow more smoothly, download my free guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Thank you for watching. I hope you’ve gotten some encouragement and direction to support yourself in your quest for your goals and dreams.

Read the accompanying article, What Are Your Excuses Telling You?

Avoid These 7 Traps That Sabotage Your Dreams

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Feb 142017

Do you have a dream or a vision that you’re not actively pursuing? Maybe you’re not taking action on it or you’re chronically preparing to start. If so, you’re not alone. Self-sabotage is an insidious, subversive and subtle act. It gets hidden amongst the busyness of your life. And it may even seem completely reasonable that you haven’t been able to make any progress toward your dream. But there are unseen forces at work within you that are holding you back.

Here are 7 ways that you undermine yourself and steps you can take to overcome these obstacles.

1. Lack of clarity. You only have a fuzzy idea of what you want. This isn’t very motivating and it won’t impel you to take action. When you don’t have a precise idea of your direction, you won’t take any steps. Specific ideas about your goals allow you to take specific steps towards achieving them, which leads to better results. It also gives the Law of Attraction an explicit pattern to follow.

2. No plan. You may want to go with the flow and resist the structure of a plan. But when you choose to let things unfold in this way, you’re going to be blown around by every circumstance that presents itself. There’s a saying, “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” In your busy life, if something doesn’t get prioritized, it doesn’t get done. Create an outline of a plan that serves you, so that the Law of Attraction can draw to you what you need. Your plan should include room for the unexpected.

3. Not working your plan. You’ve created a plan, put it in a drawer and gotten involved in your busy life. The immediate and the urgent have taken precedence. Or you may be dealing with the “shiny object syndrome.” Other enticing options have taken you off track and gotten you nowhere. This just creates confusion for the Universe, as it doesn’t know what you want. It’s ok to make course corrections periodically, but not every day. Assess your plan and get back to working it.

4. Not making your dream a priority. You have a plan, but you let other things get in the way. This may be day-to-day chores or plain old inertia. It’s simply easier to fall back into old habits than it is to clear space to work for your dream. Unless you decide that your dream is important, you’ll never achieve it. And the Universe won’t make it a priority, either. Focus on what you want, schedule taking action and following through.

5. Seeking approval. You’re trying to live up to other peoples’ expectations of you. And you put others’ agendas ahead of your own wants, needs and desires. For the most part, you don’t need their approval nor to meet their expectations. What you want is as important as what they do. Learn to say, “No,” when their expectations conflict with what you want. The Universe approves of you when you do.

6. Perfectionism. You won’t move forward until everything is perfect. This is an unrealistic and unreachable goal. Perfectionism comes from fear that you’ll make a mistake. Of course, you’re going to make mistakes. That’s how you learn and make course corrections. The Universe doesn’t expect your efforts to be flawless. Repeat to yourself, “Progress, not perfection.” As long as you have a vision and the beginnings of a plan, you can make some headway. You can build the rest as you go along.

7. Procrastination. This behavior is the worst of the offenders. It probably sinks more dreams than anything else. Either you put off starting or you put off uncomfortable or unfamiliar tasks that are necessary to your vision. Out of fear or rebellion, you chronically avoid making a decision or taking an action until the last minute. The Law of Attraction follows your lead and delays any good coming your way. Take some action, no matter how small and build momentum. One small step at a time is all you need to do to make progress.

Self-sabotage is an attempt to keep you safely confined in your comfort zone, so you don’t have to stretch or be anxious. Your subconscious is trying to protect you from the disappointment or rejection that you experienced when you were younger. Unfortunately, this strategy doesn’t support your dream or who you are now.

When you recognize that you’re sabotaging yourself, and that it’s a function of some outdated attempt at self-preservation, you can make changes. It will be uncomfortable at first, as all change is. And you’ll be tempted to step back into old patterns. But you have the power, wisdom and understanding to take charge and shift your world. Open the door to your dreams and step through.

Affirmation:
I realize the self-sabotage is an outdated attempt to keep me safe in a world that no longer exists. I now recognize any ways in which I undermine myself. It’s powerful to bring them out into the light so that I can see they are no longer needed. I now let go of what no longer serves me, and now establish new thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that support my dreams.

Build the Ability to Stretch Your Comfort Zone

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Sep 142016

Staying in your comfort zone becomes a habit. It’s safe there but living in that place will eventually erode your confidence and spirit. Create the habit of stretching out of your comfort zone. Learn some small ways to expand your comfort zone and build your confidence.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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