Aug 102017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

For awhile on my Facebook Business page, someone I knew made belittling and insulting comments. From his remarks, it was obvious he had read only the title of my post, didn’t have any knowledge of the topic nor had read the content. Over time, instead of consistently sharing an idea or article to serve my audience, I posted less and less. My unconscious motivation was to avoid his harassment and not subject my other readers to his attacks. This action was not in my best interest and sabotaged my efforts to share subjects of interest with my followers.

MotivationAre your actions matching up with what you want? Mine weren’t. If not, it’s time to look at what’s motivating you and compare it to the outcomes you desire. That’s what I had to do, once I became aware of what I was doing. To eliminate the aggravation, I banned him from the page. Since it’s public, he can read the page but he can’t interact on it.

Napoleon Hill said, “Your every act is the result of a given cause—your motives.” Your motivation may come from earlier in your life, and you haven’t updated it to support you in the present day. Mine came from childhood when I didn’t want to offend anyone. This time, I decided it was better to risk upsetting this one person than it was to stop reaching out to my followers.

The motivation you had when you were younger may have been beneficial, but the way you execute it now isn’t working for you. For instance, being a class clown brought Joe good attention in high school, but interferes with his job as an adult. Instead of entertaining his boss, he gets written up for distracting his coworkers and not meeting his deadlines. His motivation is to get acknowledgement, but the behavior isn’t fulfilling its purpose anymore.

Or consider when the football star was a bully in high school, it brought him admiration. But in his life now, it doesn’t get him respect, which is what he craves. Instead, he alienates the very people he wants to impress.

Conversely, good intentions can lead to bad results. The grade A student in school, who kept her head down and studied hard, got good grades in school. Teachers praised her for being so quiet and unassuming. But as an adult, it keeps her from taking credit for her work or putting herself forward for advancement.

And then there’s the big sister who was commended for taking care of her younger siblings. But now, when she takes care of everyone, they deplete her energy and bank account. Both of these women had positive motivations and behaviors that were appropriate when they were young. But when they got older, the same type of actions no longer benefited them.

Most motivations operate unconsciously. You’re not aware of why you’re doing what you’re doing. Your motivation may be valid, but the way you fulfill it may be an outdated remnant of the past. It’s important to get clear on the reason that’s driving your actions so you can obtain the outcomes you want.

To recognize where you may be sabotaging yourself, and how to get your motives and actions aligned, explore these suggestions.

1. Are you disappointed, puzzled or confused about why you’re not getting the outcomes you expect? This is a signal that something is amiss. Awareness is the first step, because before you can resolve a situation, you have to acknowledge there’s a problem.

2. Examine your actions. What results have they brought you in the past, and are they bringing similar ones now? If not, then there’s a mismatch between your behavior and your desired outcome. It’s tempting to just change your actions without going deeper. But at the first sign of stress, it’s normal to return to the behavior that’s familiar. Discover what your incentive is so you can stay on track.

3. Assess the purpose behind your action. What is it trying to do for you? It may be trying to protect you or bring you recognition. You may be trying to avoid something uncomfortable, through procrastination or a search for perfection. Or you could be seeking to attract something better into your life, such as acknowledgement or friends. That reason steers your impulses.

4. Now that you know your motivation, how can you modify your beliefs and actions to receive your desired outcome? Once you’ve understood what you need to change, you have a better chance of success. Whenever you get stressed, remind yourself of why you’re changing your habits and stick to it.

Unconscious ideas and urges create situations that you don’t expect. When you get clear on your motives, you can then intentionally change the way you’re fulfilling them. It’s never easy to break with the past, but you have a greater chance of success when you clarify your reasons.

Affirmation:
I now get clear on the motives for my actions. If the way I fulfill that purpose no longer serves me, I set my intention to change it. The Universe completely supports me in my efforts to improve my life.

Watch the accompanying Coaching Tip video Are You in Alignment with Your Motivation?

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Aug 052017
 

Sparks of InsightI’ve heard people say that, although they once had close relationship with God, they feel a distance or complete absence of the Divine. They wonder why God has abandoned them. The Universe still indwells and surrounds them. What has happened is that they’ve changed their relationship with themselves or with God. They either have moved away from their connection, by feeling depressed or traumatized, or they have evolved and they need to update their relationship. No matter what, God hasn’t moved. It’s just that they have changed their perspective. If you’re feeling distant from your center, then you’re the one who has moved.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jul 132017
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

River-6Ty5Bo4ac-sm

One day, my father and a neighbor left for work at exactly the same time. They entered the freeway with the neighbor’s car directly behind my father’s. My father went with the flow of traffic, not changing lanes in a vain attempt to seek a faster route. The neighbor, however, wove in, out and through the traffic, trying to get ahead.

When my father finally left the freeway about 10 miles later, the neighbor was only one car ahead him. All that effort, stress, and extra gas had resulted in the gain of only two car lengths. Trying to maneuver to get ahead, she’d made very little progress, was frustrated in her attempts and irritated her nerves. She allowed her impatience to make a bad commute into a worse one.

Many times, when you try to compel a situation to move faster than it was designed to, you sabotage your efforts. It can even cause the circumstance to resist and push back. For instance, you can’t convince someone to love, accept or approve of you. The more you try to persuade them, the more you drive them away.

The same is true of not being able to force someone to hire you. You have to let them make the decision to do so. A salesperson that pressures a potential customer to buy their product will alienate that customer. When you try to shove your will onto a situation, you get the opposite of what you want.

By trying to control conditions, you’re tying up your inner resources. You’re stressed by your efforts and it interferes with your innovation, creativity, the ability to listen and to make plans. It also blocks your subconscious from seeking and finding other solutions.

When I was growing up, my mother used to repeat the proverb, “Don’t push the river, it flows by itself.” She explained that, no matter what you did, you couldn’t force the river to flow any faster. I realized she meant to not try to force events to unfold, because all you’ll is to waste energy. For example, have you ever tried to will yourself to fall asleep? The more you try, the more awake you become. You have to let go and allow it to happen.

But, at the same time, you also can’t just hope the river will take you where you want to go. You have to provide the right conditions to maximize your results. For example, to get to sleep more easily, you have to create a calm environment. There’s a fine line between going with the flow and swimming with the current.

If you just drift, the water could crash you onto rocks, or divert you into another tributary. However, if you swim with the current, you’re cooperating with the river and using its energy to propel you downstream. You’re also in better control of where you go. If it tries to tangle you in brush at the bank, you’re able to move away from the trees and back into the flow.

When it seems that no matter what you do, you get swept into eddies at the edge of the river or slammed onto rocks, assess your direction. Somehow, you’re not working with the current and the results are telegraphing that something is amiss. You need to address some aspect of your vision, mindset or plan.

Check your vision. Is it clear enough? Does it reflect what you really want? If it’s your business, do you have a product or service the public wants and needs? Have you communicated it in a way they realize its value? If you have a clear vision, then keep it in front of you every day.

Check your mindset. Do you believe your dream is attainable? Are you inspired to work towards your vision? Do you feel like you deserve what you’re seeking? If your mindset supports your vision, stay focused on where you want to go.

Check your plan. Do you have a step by step plan? Is it right for you? Is it taking you in the direction of your vision? Are you working it every day? If your plan is on track, make sure you’re taking consistent actions to keep you moving forward.

If you’re constantly frustrated with your progress, take a step back and consider. Are you trying to push the river to make it go faster? If so, you’re just wasting energy. Other elements may need to develop before you can get into the center of the channel. Be patient and persistent. When these three key items are aligned, you’ll be in the flow and swimming with the current.

Affirmation:
The Universe isn’t holding my good back from me. It wants me to have all the good I can accept. I now allow things to unfold in Divine Time for my Highest Good. I let go of trying to force events and let the Universe guide the situation. I take the actions I know to take, and align myself with the flow.

Watch this month’s Mindset Coaching Tip video, Stay the Course, which accompanies this article.

As a speaker, hypnotherapist, and vision coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps business and professional women who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to create their vision, prioritize, and focus so they increase their productivity, prosperity and peace of mind. If you'd like some help to reach your goals, email her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com with "Complimentary Consultation" in the subject line.
Jul 062017
 

Sunset Crater, Flagstaff AZWhat To Say To Yourself To Be Happier And More Successful
Do you have a negative voice in your head, telling you that you’re worthless, you can’t be a success, or undermining in some way? They influence your decisions and actions on a daily basis, limiting you and keeping you from fulfilling your potential. But when you can turn those negative thoughts around, they can be positive ideas to guide your life. This article gives 9 very positive self-talk scripts that you can use to flip those negative thoughts into positive ones.

Are You Wired for Resilience?
What would you do if you were assured of success? Most people are wired to avoid painful experiences, which limits them and makes their world smaller. Rather than allow the difficult situations hold you hostage, learn how to process them more quickly. Learn the skills in the article to improve your well being and bounce back from adversity.

3 Warning Signs You’re Dealing With An Aggressive Manipulator
Unfortunately, at some point, we all have to deal with manipulators. They may be coworkers, managers, or family members. They use passive-aggressive or intimidating patterns of behavior to get what they want. It can be indirect and sneaky or overt, as in a bully. This article delves into what makes them that way and the warning signs of one.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jun 292017
 

Sun RaysHow to Master Your Mind: Part One- Who’s Running Your Thoughts?
Your mind creates your life, but if destructively, it can ruin you. Your mind and your thoughts affect how you perceive and interpret reality. This affects your decisions and actions. So learning how to master your mind is one of the most important things you can do if you want a better life. This article specifically addresses the parts of you that create negative thoughts in your mind.

The Secret To More Meaningful Work
I doubt it’s any surprise that surveys find that 52% of people are unhappy in their work. A desire for meaningful work ranks higher than money or promotions. But meaningful work doesn’t have to be found elsewhere. It can be found right where you are. Learn how you can find motivation and meaning in the work you have now.

Are Your Beliefs About Power Leaving You Powerless?
Many people grow up with a distrust of power, because they’ve seen it used destructively. They may even have been the victims of ruthlessness. Because of that, there’s a basic misunderstanding of what power actually is. True leaders use power to help others. Learn not only how power can be beneficial, but how to avoid having it corrupt you.

Jun 232017
 

Sparks of InsightNegative thinking is defensive or reactive. When you’re reacting from past experiences, you’re expecting the same as you got before. If you’re defensive, you’re using that as a way to protect yourself from disappointment or hurt. If you can’t be positive, at least find a way to turn the thoughts around to at least be neutral. Open up to different possibilities.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Jun 232017
 

Flagstaff Aspen Rainbow7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind
Your thoughts determine the quality of your life. They’re like nutrition for your mind.It’s not easy to have the discipline, but the rewards are tremendous. Use the ways in this article to monitor your thoughts so you have a fulfilled life.

‘No’ Is A Complete Sentence: 11 Tips
This is a lesson I’ve learned and that I share with my clients. It’s an essential one of you want to be authentic, stay on your purpose and honor your priorities. It’s not easy, but the tips from this article will give you the strategies you need to hold your ground.

Psychological Well-being Can Shorten the Road to Wellness
A large percentage of business leaders believe that a good business culture gives them a competitive advantage. Yet, an almost equal amount believe they have a problem with employee retention and engagement. Including psychological well-being in wellness programming makes a huge impact in employees happiness.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Why do I get drowsy with affirmation recording?

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Jun 142017
 

Question about affirmationsQuestion: I’ve created my own affirmation recording, with the statements delivered quickly in a monotone, and then I repeat them. With the pace being so fast, why do I get drowsy when I listen to it?

Answer: If you’re saying them in a droning voice, you could actually be putting yourself into a mild hypnotic state by the tone and way you say them. Also, anything you do often, by routine, and don’t think much about, will do that. In that state, the subconscious is actually more receptive to the statements.

Also, it could be that the statements are delivered too fast. If there’s little space between the statements, your mind could be getting overloaded with the data and will start to shut down to try to process it. It’s like you’re eating too fast and your mind can’t digest what’s being said. You need time to wrap your mind around what they say, mean, and feel their accomplishment. Your feeling is what will power them.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Trending Articles of the Week

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Jun 092017
 

Sun Rays10 Reasons You Should Meditate Every Day
Research shows that there are many physical and emotional benefits to meditating. It helps to reduce stress, decision making, and having more control over your emotions, among others. This article covers several of them, explaining why meditation is so important.

Count It: How Many Times These Business Leaders Tried Before They Succeeded (Infographic)
How many times have you tried something before you gave up? What if the next time was the one in which you succeeded? This is a cute infographic showing how many times some scientists, businessmen and entrepreneurs failed before they succeeded. It will give you some motivation and encouragement to see that success doesn’t come quickly.

The Placebo Effect Can Mend Your Broken Heart, Study Suggests
This article specifically addresses life after divorce, but the strategy it suggest could be used after any loss. The idea is basically find something that makes you feel better, with the attitude that it might help you move beyond your grief. As long as you’re doing something positive, it can influence your brain and reduce your pain. This article goes into greater depth about the strategy and how it actually affects you.

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Jun 012017
 

Grand Canyon Sunset - East of Yaki Point7 Ways To Truly Master Your Own Mind
Your thoughts determine the life you have. To have a better life, you need to master your thoughts. You need to be aware of whether you’re planting noxious weeds or beautiful flowers. This article gives you several easy, practical ways to become a better steward of your thoughts.

90% Of Startups Fail: Here’s What You Need To Know About The 10%
This article’s goal isn’t to discourage you, but to make you aware of what to do to be successful. If you pay attention to the reasons most fail, and take actions to avoid them, you’ll have a much better chance to succeed. Learn the 4 characteristics to emulate, and find a way to do so.

You’re Not Going to Believe What I’m about to Tell You
This is a cute comic that illustrates why facts won’t change a person’s opinion. Instead, facts will cause a person to hang on harder to their misconception. The comic is very clever and clear, describing a psychological behavior called the backfire effect. Enjoy this comic to find a way to counteract this effect and learn how to consider something different.