“Nothing is ever lost in Divine Mind. I can never be separated from my good, for it is the Presence and Power within me. Whatever that has been missing now returns to me, because it is mine by Divine Right.”
Everyone experiences loss at some time in their lives, whether it’s a friend moving away, a loved one passing on, a marriage breaking up, or one’s investments reducing. Each of these losses creates a vacuum in your life, to be filled by its equivalent or something better. If you believe something is lost for good, then you’re telling your subconscious not to recover it. However, the good it represents is still there for you to claim, maybe in another form. You may not have the exact, same person, place or thing magically returned to you. But it could be something comparable comes to you in a different way. Keep your mind open for the possibilities.
My mother was an incredible life and spiritual coach. Whenever I’d get upset, she’d ask, “Will this matter in five years? If not, let it go.” She always advised me to take a long term perspective on life.
If I had an argument with a boyfriend, and it wasn’t a fundamental problem in the relationship, she urged me to move on. When I was unhappy over giving a less than stellar presentation, she recommended that I learn from it and focus on the next one. If the issue would be insignificant in five years, she figured that it wasn’t worth getting stressed over it in the present.
Sage Advice
Her advice can be used for most disappointments you deal with. Put the situation into perspective by determining how big an impact it’s going to have in your life in a few years. If you’ll barely remember it, then learn what you can from it and put it behind you. Focus on what’s next for you and allow that vision to pull you forward.
You Have the Power of Perspective
Even if you have a major problem in your life, your perspective can make it better or worse. Robert Schuller said, “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” You have control over how you respond to any situation. If you continue to ruminate over something that happened, or hold onto resentment over it, then you’ll have a hard time recovering.
You can become bitter if you get stuck in suffering. Focusing on a negative event can create a habit of focusing on what you don’t have. This can lead to making decisions that aren’t in your best interests in an attempt to avoid pain.
However, when you choose to find a way to overcome a circumstance, you can improve the quality of your life. A crisis can lead to opportunities you never would have noticed, thought of seeking out or taken advantage of.
Divorce, a lost job, a house burning down all can lead to something better if you keep your options open. First, acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to grieve. Then, switch your attention to what resources you have to create a new experience. Set your subconscious and the Law of Attraction to scan your life for opportunities. In a few months or a year, you could be in a much better position than you are today.
Consider the Outcome
Consider how different your life could be in five years.
Will the current setback still be a major stumbling block?
If so, how can you turn it into a launching pad?
How much will the situation matter in five years?
What can you do to improve the situation?
Your attitude and authority over the situation will determine how it will affect your life, for better or worse. When you take a longer term view of circumstances, you’ll have the strength and ability to triumph. And you’ll have less wear and tear on your psyche.
Affirmation:
The Universe wants the best for me. When an unpleasant or upsetting situation arises, I determine to put it into perspective. The Universe provides me with everything I need to triumph over the issue. I keep my mind and heart open for Divine Guidance. I declare that only good comes to me as a result of what’s happened.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
Everyone’s had a rough day, at some point. The challenge is to find a way to get through it with your equilibrium intact. Many years ago, I had one that had me drawing on my inner resources and perspective to make it to the end of the day. Learn the mindset shift I used that can help you to prevail over a tough day.
Transcript:
Have you ever had a rough day? I mean, who hasn’t? It could be a day that starts with you being late, and goes from bad to worse. Or having communication snafus. But it’s a day that you can’t wait to end.
Many years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I had a tough day at work that seemed to last forever. I’d like to share the mind shift tactic that got me through it.
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I motivate people to transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, and wellbeing. And much of it depends on mindset, which is what I had to use on the rough day I had.
I’d just started working at a picture framing shop that was part of a chain. Customers would come in and pick out the mats and frames they wanted. But instead of leaving the artwork with us to do the work, we cut everything and showed them how to put it all together. That was a challenge all by itself.
The nightmare for me began one Saturday morning. It was pouring, and for some reason, we had more customers come in that morning than we’d had combined in the two weeks prior. The front part of the store, where we helped customers choose their materials, was packed with people.
The work overwhelmed the two of us who were working, so we called in a couple of reinforcements. One of them was the former manager of that shop. She put me to cutting mats, which wasn’t a great idea, as I was still getting used to the equipment.
When my mats didn’t pass her high expectations, she reamed me out in front of the entire store. It wasn’t just a mild rebuke or reprimand, but a full-on raging at me. It felt like it went on forever, but it was probably just a couple of minutes.
You know the cartoon with one person yelling, and the other person is blown back on their heels and their hair streams out behind them? That’s how I felt. Instead of walking out, I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.”
She gave me the job helping customers choose their mats and frames. I got a lot of sympathetic looks from the people I helped, but it made me more humiliated. I kept telling myself, “This day will end. I’ll eventually be home, eating dinner and watching TV.” The phrase became a mantra for me to keep me going, as people kept coming in and filling the store.
Of course, finally, the day did end. Once the manager left for the day, my original coworker commiserated with me, telling me that the manager had often raged like that. Fortunately, that was the only time I ever encountered that manager.
A couple of months after this episode, the shop was sold and my services no longer required. That was fine with me. It had been a difficult job, with long hours and low pay, and that incident hadn’t improved it.
When you’re having a rough day, remember that it’s temporary. It will pass, and things will get better. Find some concept, an affirmation, or mantra that supports you and helps you to maintain your equilibrium as you slog through the mess.
Visualize it being over, as I did. I even celebrated when another hour would pass. “One more down, only X number left.” You can even break it down into getting through one minute at a time.
Eventually, the day will simply be a memory that will lose its importance. I do still remember that experience many decades later, but mainly for how I got through it.
For more tips and articles on mindset, motivation and empowerment, visit my blog http://www.EmpoweringYourMind.com Thank you for watching. Stay focused.
Janice Porter and I met in a networking group and shortly thereafter had a Zoom call to get to know each other better. She’s a Relationship Marketing Specialist and an amazing LinkedIn trainer, who gave me some tips on my LinkedIn profile, which I followed. She’s all about relationship building, online and offline, to grow your business and turn your connections into clients and referral partners. Relationships are so important to her that she has a podcast called Relationships Rule.
We hit it off in our call and, as a result, she asked me to be a guest on her podcast, to talk about focus and how it’s so easy to get scattered. It was a delightful conversation, wandering from how she struggles with being scattered to tips on how to stay focused to mindset to how success begins within. We even discussed whether I believe curiosity is innate or not.
We both are very curious people and it can take us both down rabbit holes. I can spend hours exploring an idea. She has a similar challenge. These tangents don’t help us when we’re trying to accomplish something. I gave her a suggestion, which I use, which can make sure our curiosity doesn’t undermine our goals.
We had a meandering conversation, but kept coming back to focus. We explored tactics to keep yourself focused. She also brought up that she didn’t really like to establish vision and goals. I explained why they’re beneficial and how you can create them in a way that will work with the subconscious mind.
As we discussed mindset, we explored how it’s more than positive thinking. It’s much more global than just optimism. We both weren’t so positive when we were younger and now choose to be positive. It is a choice about how to perceive a situation.
I mentioned how television news engages our emotions, which means it sends us into a light state of hypnosis. This can mean you accept what’s being said without analyzing it. I suggested to read news items, as you can be more objective.
We touched on the subject of believing in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s a good bet you’ll sabotage your goals and dreams. She asked what I noticed when someone started to believe in themselves. They immediately change their actions, and start getting better results.
At her request, I gave my last piece of advice. Focus is a skill you can develop. You can learn how to practice focusing and how to do train yourself to do so. We knew we could have continued our conversation, but unfortunately, our time was limited and we had to end it there.
“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.” William James
Studies keep reinforcing that you can change your life by changing the way you think about it. People have gone from living out of their car to being millionaires by transforming their attitudes. Others have uncovered a confidence in themselves and been able to reach their dreams. Your world changes when your beliefs change. Because when your attitudes change, your actions and behaviors change as well.
Years ago, I got caught up in too many outside activities. During this period, I was assistant secretary of a community organization that planned a yearly event, the secretary of a creative group that held a yearly contest, a member of an artist’s co-operative, attended classes, acted in community theater, and wrote publicity articles for the same community theater.
I was so stressed that I got very little sleep and my health began to suffer. Finally, I began backing out of some of the responsibilities. For the first time in my life, I had to tell people “No, I can’t do it anymore.” The head of the community theater group pleaded with me to continue writing articles, because “There’s no one else available.” I stuck to my guns, even though it was excruciatingly hard. And I learned that I wasn’t irreplaceable. Someone else did step in and write the articles.
An Important Skill
Learning when to say “no” is an important skill. For if you don’t establish what you can do and what you choose not to do, the world will take advantage of you. You have a right to say “no.” In life, there are always choices. When I wanted to be able to sleep and be healthier, I had to cut some activities out of my life. I then focused on a couple of activities that I felt were most important to me. In another situation, a person may decide they want to go hiking instead of going to a family dinner with their parents. You sometimes have to choose between what others’ want from you and what it is that you really want to do.
When I realized that I was resenting my involvement in so many organizations, I knew I had to let some go. I wasn’t doing myself any good. And even though individually they were activities that I enjoyed, I couldn’t give them my best. In learning to say “no,” I stated to the Universe, and to the world, what I was saying “yes” to. You can do the same. By saying “no” to some things or people, you’re saying “yes” to yourself and to the things that you choose to experience in your life.
Affirmation:
I know that I always have choices to make in my life. Sometimes, I must choose between equally enjoyable situations. In other cases, I must decide whether to please myself or others. I now give myself permission to say “no” to conditions in my life that drag me down or that aren’t of benefit to me at the present time. I realize that as I say “no” to some circumstances that I resent, I’m saying “yes” to myself and to what I really want to experience.
In my hypnotherapy practice, when a client would come to see me with self-esteem issues, I’d discuss the topic of “boundaries” with them. Some of my clients had never even heard of the idea of boundaries and I had to explain it to them. “Boundaries are like limits you would set with a child,” I’d say, “telling them not to touch the stove, for their own safety. Or not to hit their sibling.” Most of my clients could relate to that.
However, the idea of telling an adult how to treat them could be a foreign concept. “But they should know how to treat me,” my client might say. This is true, but people have different ideas of how to treat each other. And everyone has their own agenda to make them feel more comfortable. Unless you are direct and clear about what you’ll accept and what you won’t accept, the other person won’t know.
What Are Your Current Boundaries?
Boundaries are an important part of life. Think of the boundaries you have now. You wouldn’t allow someone to reach into your pocket or purse and steal your money without complaining. You’ve drawn the line there. Where are some of your other boundaries? In personal relationships and friendships, what kind of limits have you set? Do you allow friends or loved ones to put you down, beat you, take advantage of you? If so, this is an area in which you need to strengthen your boundaries.
When I was little, my parents taught me that having boundaries was a good thing. But as I got into school and made friends, having boundaries meant that I wouldn’t be liked. When a friend hit me and I complained to her mother, the mom told me that I had to forgive her daughter and continue playing with her. The mom encouraged my feelings of compassion for her daughter so that I wouldn’t reject her. From that, I learned to let people walk all over me.
Why Boundaries Are Necessary
Without boundaries, we allow the world to treat us as they want to. Not as we expect to be treated, but in ways that are convenient for them. Boundaries are necessary for our safety, and to teach others how we expect to be treated. If we don’t teach people to value us, then we have only ourselves to blame when they take advantage of us. A boundary is the communication of how we choose to be treated, and what the consequences are if we’re not treated that way. Sometimes, you don’t even have to state it as long as you have it firmly planted in your consciousness. Your attitude will communicate it clearly.
When I began setting boundaries and standing up for them, it was scary. The people who didn’t value me began to leave my life. In any relationship, when one person changes, then the relationship itself changes. My “friends” weren’t willing to change with the relationship. But then I started attracting people to me who treated me the way I wanted to be treated. And I didn’t have to tell them how. Since I’d gotten it clear in my mind that I wouldn’t be browbeaten anymore (boundary), and if I was I’d end the relationship no matter how much I cared about the person (consequence), that commitment to my well-being communicated itself.
Boundaries Are Your Right and Responsibility
You have a right to establish the standards by which you choose to be treated. The Universe gave you that right by your having been born. You don’t have to accept treatment that devalues you as a person or as an expression of the Universe. You also have a responsibility to yourself, to the Universe, and to the other person to decide on your boundaries. If you don’t, then you’re allowing other people to choose how you will be treated and you’re at their mercy. By setting and maintaining boundaries, you’re accepting the responsibility for your well being. Boundaries demonstrate that you value yourself and that you value the relationship enough to create a secure environment in which it can grow.
Affirmation:
I have a right and responsibility to myself and the Universe to establish meaningful boundaries. I deserve to be treated well, with respect. If my boundaries are violated, I have the right to act on the consequences that I’ve decided on to keep myself safe and secure. I do this with compassion for the other person, but also with compassion for myself because my well being is more important than someone else’s convenience.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity. To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
You have an inner GPS that guides you to your goal or vision, just as an external GPS will tell you the route to take to a destination. You program your inner GPS either deliberately or inadvertently, and it will keep you on course or take you off it. But you can correct its course by staying aware of your direction. Learn the 3 things to stay aware of as you progress towards your vision, and how they program your inner GPS.
Transcript:
I’m sure you know what a GPS or Global Positioning System is, right? It’s a device that you use, usually in a car, to direct you to your destination. You decide where you want to end up, program that into the GPS, and it calculates the best route to get you there. Then, step by step, the GPS tells you the route to take.
You also have an inner GPS that you program to guide you to a goal you select. Your inner GPS operates on the vision of what you want, and then your GPS figures out how to get you there. Very similar process to the GPS you use in your vehicle.
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach. I’d like to share the 3 things, after your vision that you use to program your inner GPS.
What if you’re not keeping your attention on your vision? Maybe you’re afraid you won’t be able to achieve it, or you get distracted by something else along the way. Your GPS operates on where you aim your attention.
There’s a saying, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If your attention strays from your vision, you have effectively reprogrammed your inner GPS to wherever you’re redirecting your focus. It may or may not be where you’ve consciously chosen to go.
You can determine whether or not you’re on course to your vision. You’ll have landmarks, or goals, along the way that you know you should be passing or achieving. If you find you’re off course, check if you’ve unknowingly changed your GPS’s programming.
1. Where has your attention been? Has it been on your desired destination or on something else? Have you not been keeping your attention on where you want to go, or have you been distracted?
2. What’s your attitude about your vision? Do you want it badly enough to work towards it? Or are you afraid of the changes it would bring?
3. What actions have you been taking? Are they ones that propel you towards your vision or to some other destination?
Constantly monitor your attention, attitudes and actions, which all combine to program your inner GPS with your vision. When you assess them and they’re all aligned, then your inner GPS will keep you on course to your destination.
To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, watch my FREE training video, Set Your Course to Success. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at www.SetYourCourseGuide.com
You’ve probably used a GPS (Global Positioning System) in your car to find your way to a destination. You input your current location, then input your destination, and let the GPS decide the best way to get you there. The GPS tells you the best route to your location.
But the GPS isn’t always accurate. For instance, when repair people use their external GPS to find our house, they usually end up on the other side of town and have to call us for directions. A vehicle’s GPS often is wrong, based on old or incomplete information, and eventually will have to recalculate when new data becomes available.
How Your Internal GPS Functions
Some people say that we have an internal GPS that guides us to reach a goal, and that all we have to do is follow its directions. It’s true we have an internal guidance system, but it isn’t always accurate, any more than an external GPS is always accurate. This inner GPS motivates your decisions and actions. And you may have incorrect or outdated information in your subconscious mind that influences your internal GPS.
Your subconscious mind is the interface between the Universe and your conscious mind. Even though you’re always getting accurate guidance from the Universe, your subconscious filters it through its programming. The message you receive from the Universe may be garbled due to old programming and you don’t understand it clearly.
You can’t follow a GPS’ (internal or external) directions blindly. Without monitoring, old data may detour you, take you down a dead end, or guide you off a cliff. Literally. For example, my husband used to work in a mountain town nearby. Many times, a customer would come into his place of business and would tell him that their GPS had directed them incorrectly. The GPS had said to go left, which would have driven them off a cliff, instead of right, up the road to his business.
Using Your Internal GPS
Instead of mindlessly following directions, with either an internal or external GPS, stay present as to where you’re going and what you’re doing. Be mindful of what turns or steps you’re being guided to take. Engage your rational mind to check and confirm you’re still going in the right direction. There’s an old saying, “Trust, but verify.” You have chosen a destination, and you also have the responsibility to check if the next step is moving you in the right direction. .
If your inner GPS is prompting you to avoid a path, like taking a long detour, this may be old programming based on fear. That’s not intuition or guidance from your internal GPS. Avoidance can be an old idea that is trying to keep you safe in a situation that you’ve outgrown. Only you can determine if it’s warning you of a current danger or if it’s from the past.
Maybe you’re attracted by something new that may sidetrack or delay you from your vision. This could be for your wellbeing or your subconscious is using the detour to sabotage you. You may need more resources or knowledge before you can reach your vision. Or it could be that your subconscious considers your route threatening. Again, it’s up to you to figure out whether the delay helps or hinders you.
Updating Your GPS
It’s always important to assess your mindset about your goal or vision. Your mindset isn’t just about positive thinking, but about how you feel about yourself, your life, and your vision. Do you believe your vision is possible? Are you procrastinating taking action? If so, why? Do you have any resistance to achieving your goal? Are there any old beliefs that are holding you back? Updating your mindset so that it aligns with your vision will ensure your GPS can calculate the best route for you.
As you address each of these areas, your GPS may gain new information and need to course correct to get you to your vision. Keep your thoughts positive, take action and stay focused on your vision and you’ll stay on course. Your internal GPS will recalculate as needed to update its directions to find you the clearest path to your destination.
Affirmation:
I am being guided at all times by the still, small voice of Infinite Mind. I open my mind and heart to clearly hear that guidance. The Universe supports me to accomplish my goal or vision. Any old idea that restricts my path is outdated and now dissolves in the light of day. I keep my mind inspired and uplifted, make wise decisions and take effective action to achieve my dream.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
Question: Would you please define the differences between the subconscious and unconscious minds?
Answer: The difference between the terms “subconscious” and “unconscious” is simply a difference of terminology. It’s essentially the same name for a part of our consciousness. It’s been called the unconscious, subconscious and subjective mind, but a rose is still a rose, whatever you call it.
I just prefer the term subconscious (or even subjective), because that part of the mind is beneath or subject to the conscious, rational mind. In other words, it takes direction from the conscious and must do so.
Even though the conscious mind is only about 10% of our consciousness, it is the authority or driver. Think of an iceberg, 10% is above the surface, and 90% is below the surface.
I don’t like the term “unconscious” referring to our consciousness, because it insinuates that that part of our consciousness isn’t aware. It’s always aware and processing information.
The only time I usually use “unconscious,” is when I’m referring to an action, because our subconscious often prompts us to act out without awareness of our actions. That’s where habits come from. We unconsciously follow our programming, whether it’s a physical, mental or emotional habit.
