Do you try to get everything done perfectly? That can lead to procrastination and undermine the outcome you’re seeking. Instead of trying to be perfect, use this mindset tip to complete your project and move to your next accomplishment. Watch Avoid the Paralysis of Perfection.
Transcript:
Welcome. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart and I empower people to focus and achieve their goals and vision. Today, I’d like to talk about perfectionism and how it holds you back.
I once knew an artist who was a perfectionist about her paintings. She worked on one for years. It was of dried leaves and a tree stump. You wouldn’t think that subject would be interesting, but her depiction of it was beautiful.
For one thing, the leaves that she’d completed were amazing. You’d have sworn they were real. But she spent so much time on each leaf, meticulously trying to get it perfect, that she never finished the painting. Eventually, she moved on to work on other pieces.
Although that painting wouldn’t have been as detailed, it would have been better for her to have completed it without agonizing over every vein in every leaf. No one would have noticed them missing, and the picture still would have been phenomenal. Unfortunately, that partially completed masterpiece sat in the closet and few people ever had the joy of seeing it.
Do you avoid finishing a project, because you don’t think it’s perfect enough? Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, which can create paralysis. You dread dealing with the project, and that resistance takes energy away from it and other things. The dread hangs over your head, taking up valuable mental real estate.
My coaching tip is a mindset shift. There are motivational statements like, “Done is better than perfect,” and “Progress, not perfection.” They may be trite, but they’re true, and important to remember if you get bogged down in trying to be perfect. No one but you is going to know your project is not up to your standard of perfection. It will be perfectly acceptable to them and appreciated.
Like my friend’s painting, it really is better to just complete what you’re working on. You’ll get so much more done. Even if the result isn’t as great as you’d like, you can then move on to your next accomplishment. Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my channel so you’re notified when I post future ones. Stay focused.
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”Michael J. Fox
Do you ever avoid going out of the house with a hair out of place or in wrinkled clothes? Are you afraid to turn in a project, because of you feel it’s not good enough? I knew an artist who started an oil painting of dried leaves and a decomposing stump. She spent days painting every leaf in great detail, so detailed that a person looking at it thought they were real. But she spent so much time on the details that she eventually moved on to another project and never finished the painting.
I’ve never met a happy perfectionist. Most of them are anxious, unhappy people, who have low self-esteem, and are trying to meet some impossible, ideal standard. Generally, the syndrome comes from a childhood with parents, caregivers or teachers who never approved of anything these folk did.
Wanting Acknowledgement
In elementary school, when I would make a perfect grade on a test, my father would ask “Why didn’t you make a 200%?” In fifth grade, we had a pop quiz, on which I made a 100%, and then the teacher had us take a similar one, on which I also made a perfect grade. When my father came home, I was waiting for him.
“I made a 100% today,” I said.
“Why didn’t you make a 200%?” he asked, as usual.
I laughed and said, “I did,” and showed him the papers. He never asked me that particular question again.
Fortunately for me, my father did give me approval and acceptance. But for many people who are perfectionists, they’ve never received that from their parents. As children, they tried to do everything right to gain some acknowledgement and never did. What they didn’t realize was that it wouldn’t have mattered how perfect they were, their parents couldn’t approve of their achievements because of the parents’ emotional baggage. When the child grew up into adulthood, they continued the attempt to be perfect to avoid rejection. It didn’t work in childhood, even though to the childish mind it appeared to give them some control over the situation. As an adult, it only causes misery.
The Basis of Perfectionism
There is a difference between being a perfectionist and being precise. A perfectionist isn’t motivated by trying to be accurate or to do their best. They’re actually living out of fear, trying to avoid making a mistake so that they aren’t rejected or criticized. Being precise is important in many careers, and in many aspects of our lives. Accuracy is valuable in mixing chemicals, recipes, statistics, etc., because an error in any of these could cost dearly. But the difference between being a perfectionist and being precise is that the former takes over a person’s whole being, while the latter is specific as to time and place.
Perfectionism can keep a person immobilized. An individual can be so afraid of making a move that they won’t do anything, for fear that their decision could be the wrong one. A project may be finished, but they revise it over and over, trying to get it just right. The point they miss is that there are any number of right ways to complete the project. And continuing to work on it may mean they turn it in late.
Perfection and Procrastination
Another side effect of perfectionism can be procrastination. As in the example just given, if a person keeps re-working a project until it’s late, they may not be faulted for it “not being their best work.” In other cases, an individual may postpone making decisions or taking action so they won’t be condemned. Then they’re criticized for never doing anything.
All of this comes from trying to live up to some artificial, unrealistic standard that was imposed on them in childhood. And instead of a positive principle they aspire to, they actually live in fear of not measuring up to it. So much energy is wasted in fear that they can never actually live up to their potential. And very likely, due to the fear of condemnation, a person won’t risk suggesting new ideas or new methods in their careers or personal life, preferring to stick with what has been accepted in the past.
Update Your Beliefs
If you’re a perfectionist, realize that it’s a response to an environment that no longer exists. With your current knowledge, review the dynamics of your childhood relationships with your caregivers. Would you ever have gotten their approval, or were they imposing unrealistic expectations on you? For instance, expecting a four-year-old to act like an adult is irrational.
Experiment with not doing things perfectly; like leaving dishes in the sink for a few hours, don’t straighten pictures, and go for a walk without dressing specifically for it. Whenever you feel anxious that you may not be doing something perfectly, remind yourself that nothing is ever perfect. Do your best, be accurate, be precise, but don’t try to be perfect. Then move on. In so doing, you’ll begin to reclaim your life, your power and your peace of mind.
Affirmation:
I give myself permission not to be perfect. Assessing my past, I recognize that perfection wouldn’t have brought me the acknowledgement that I craved. Perfection won’t bring me any greater acceptance or approval in the present. I am, and have always been, a valuable person. I do my best, I aspire to be accurate and precise, but I let go of any false belief that I have to be perfect to be accepted. The Universe accepts and approves of me, as I am, therefore I do the same.
Question: Will I see results within a week if I look in the mirror and loudly say affirmations about confidence?
Answer: Looking in the mirror and loudly stating an affirmation about confidence will begin to reprogram your subconscious mind. Using your voice, with a lot of emotion behind it, is very effective to impress your subconscious. The more you can say it, just like when you learned to read, the more it re-conditions the subconscious. To make your subconscious accept it quicker, you’ll need to use the affirmation any time during the day that you feel your confidence sagging.
I don’t know if you would see a significant result within a week, but I imagine that you’d notice a subtle improvement in that time. This is an issue you’ve had for a while, and it won’t change overnight. You’ll have to keep at it for permanent progress.
To determine what affirmation to use, you’d need to discover where and under what circumstances you feel a lack of confidence. Is it in social situations, at work, or with specific people? And then you’d need to create an affirmation that would address that issue. To develop them, you could read books or go to websites devoted to confidence building.
Do you ever hear yourself say you “should” do something? Most people hear this term in an attempt to motivate them to take a particular action. That nagging inner voice comes from the past, and is usually counterproductive. Learn why it harasses you, and what you can do to quiet it down.
Thank you for joining me. Do you ever “should” on yourself, as in “I should [fill in the blank]?” Most of us do to some extent. And most of us resent that inner voice and resist what it’s trying to guilt us to do. But do you ever wonder where that critical voice came from?
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, and I’m a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve worked with many people who were dealing with inner critical voices that were making their lives miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way.
When you hear “you must,” “you ought to,” or “you should,” that voice is generally an echo from earlier in your life. It’s repeating what your mom, dad, relative, teacher, or some other authority expected you to do.
Think about it. Aren’t those dictates familiar? That voice is simply trying to make sure you do what it thinks is necessary for you to gain the approval of the past authority figure. But it’s no longer necessary.
You’re all grown up now, right? You don’t need the approval of people who no longer have any control over your life. You can make your own decisions about what’s best for you. Sometimes, what you decide may align with what that voice wants, and sometimes it won’t. But you no longer have to live up to those expectations.
That voice is trying to help you by keeping you out of trouble with people who may no longer be in your life. It’s an outdated response, isn’t it? So when you hear that order, respond by saying something like, “Thank you, but I can take care of myself now,” or “Thank you, but I can make the decision now.”.
By thanking it, you’re acknowledging that part’s purpose to help. By letting it know you are responsible for your life now, and take care of your responsibilities, it relieves it of further effort. You can then decide what you want to do about whatever it’s concerned about.
It may take some time to re-educate that part of you, so don’t give up. This type of response to it will be much more successful than resisting or avoiding the dictate. By taking back your power and responsibility over your life, you’ll be more effective, successful and authentic.
Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my YouTube channel so you’re notified when I post future ones.
Are you constantly putting yourself down? Do you ever tell yourself demeaning statements like: “You can’t do that,” “What’s the point,” “You don’t deserve anything,” “You’re so stupid.” Do you feel guilty when you do something as innocuous as spill a glass of water or drop a cookie on the floor? If so, you have an active inner critic.
Your inner critic or judge is an aspect of your personality that echoes what the authorities in your life said to you when you were younger. My fourth grade teacher berated the class with “You’re so stupid,” until many of us believed the lie. A friend’s father convinced her that she was worthless. One of my clients was told that she was responsible for the happiness of her entire family.
Old Messages
These are all false ideas that are accepted by the person because of the authority of those who stated them. As we grow up, we internalize the concepts as our inner critic. It takes over the role of the critical people from our youth and it repeats their messages over and over. In adulthood, those we’re close to and respect can trigger the critic’s voice and add to the messages.
The inner critic holds you back, makes you doubt yourself, lowers your self-worth, and undermines your self-confidence. It judges your behavior by someone else’s standards and reaffirms that you don’t measure up to their unreasonable expectations, and makes you feel guilty for failing. My clients have said that they don’t feel like they’re “enough.” That nothing they do will be good enough, or that they can’t fulfill what they believe is expected of them.
What Your Inner Critic Is Trying to Do
Believe it or not, this aspect of your personality is actually trying to help you. It accepted the attitude from the people you were dependent on to try to protect you from their disapproval. If a child spills his milk, and cries from fear of punishment, then his mom generally will reassure him and just wipe it up. He’s accepted his responsibility, since he’s showed his remorse, so mom figures she doesn’t have to chastise him. By feeling guilty, he’s protected himself from being sent to the corner.
A child will emulate the attitudes of the caregivers around him to try to fit in. Because if he doesn’t get accepted by the clan, then he’s shunned, abandoned either physically or emotionally, and that means death to a child. Even if the child rejects the attitudes of the caregivers as unreasonable, he will still have soaked them in before he was old enough to recognize their unfairness.
So your inner critic is still trying to keep you safe. However, it’s trying to protect you from an environment that you left long ago. You no longer need the approval of your caregivers in order to survive. You have the ability to say “no” and have it stick. If you’re in an unfriendly situation, you can now leave. Even if it’s difficult, you can still leave and you will survive. You inner critic is responding to conditions that you’ve outgrown, but this part of you doesn’t realize it.
How to Work with Your Inner Critic
Instead of fighting against your inner critic, or knuckling under it, you can begin to re-educate it. Its true role is to help you, protect you, to encourage and nurture you. If it realizes that you’re a big person who’s living in a different environment, with the ability to take responsibility for yourself, it will generally begin to reduce its nagging. You can let it know that it needs to update its responses so that it actually helps you in your present day conditions.
Once it begins to understand its true role, and uses its energy to help you in the now, you’ll notice a tremendous improvement. You’ll have more self-confidence, feel better about yourself and be more productive because you won’t be second-guessing every little thing you do. You won’t be fighting against yourself anymore, and your whole inner being will be on your side.
Affirmation:
The critic within me no longer needs to protect me the way it did when I was a child. I now have the knowledge to protect myself. My inner critic now recognizes this and updates its protection so that it serves me in my current life. It now fulfills its true role to help me, encourage me, and nurture me.
My mom was an awesome life and spiritual coach. One of her main recommendations was to eliminate what she called the “must, ought, shoulds” in your life. When you use any of these three words against yourself, you increase your sense of shame, anxiety, pressure, and guilt.
Statements such as, “I should lose weight,” “I ought to be more productive,” or “I must exercise,” don’t inspire you to comply. These phrases are an attempt to force yourself to do what some inner part of you thinks is important. But coercion of that sort backfires because it’s human nature to rebel against that type of control.
Why You Resist
Often, to escape the negative feelings, you do exactly the opposite, or do something that gives you pleasure. But then, you feel even more guilt, which causes you to further avoid what your inner bully is trying to make you do. This just makes you feel worse. And around and around it goes.
The part of you that’s pushing you this way is doing it to try to help you. It doesn’t feel like support, but that inner voice is trying to get you to do something it thinks will be beneficial for you. That part just isn’t going about it very effectively. Instead of encouraging, it’s trying to pressure you.
How to Take Back Your Power
When you notice that automatic voice in your head, ask yourself these questions:
Why should I do what it wants me to do?
What would change if I acted on what it wants?
What would the result or benefit be for me?
Is this something I want?
If the outcome is one you want, you can shift your response from resistance to making a deliberate choice to act. You can reframe “must,” “ought,” and “should” to “I choose to” or “I choose not to.” If you decide to take the action, that inner voice isn’t winning. Instead, by changing your attitude, you’re taking your power back.
Think about how you’ll feel afterwards by following through. For one thing, you’ll free yourself from that oppressive voice. And second, you’ll you receive the benefits of the action. And lastly, you’ll feel better about yourself and have more energy to do the things you love.
Affirmation:
I now let go of the “must, ought, shoulds” in my life. They aren’t serving a purpose for me anymore. I accept authority over my life. I’m guided by Divine Mind into my right thoughts and actions. The Universe supports, encourages and inspires me to make the choices that bring me the life I desire and deserve.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
As a hypnotherapist, people come to see me professionally because they want some sort of change in their lives. Whether it’s to feel better about themselves, stop smoking, reduce weight, increase their self-confidence, improve their health, or have some other positive adjustment, they have made a choice that has brought them to my office. Together we figure out what they need to change within themselves, and what actions they need to take, to bring about the improvement in their lives.
Every so often, someone comes in who wants me to wave a magic wand over their head and make all their problems disappear, without them having to participate. They don’t want to have to alter a belief, attitude or behavior, but have the problem somehow erased. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. For any change to occur, they have to make a corresponding internal and external commitment to that change.
Change from the Inside Out
For instance, a smoker who says they want to quit must truly decide which they want more, to smoke or not to smoke. Once they’ve chosen to stop smoking, they have to learn new ways to cope with life’s challenges, and dedicate themselves to this new lifestyle. Not only do they have to refrain from smoking, but they have to make the inner changes (and they are many) that are necessary to achieve the eventual goal of becoming a nonsmoker. If they try to quit, without these inner changes, then at the first sign of stress they’ll start up again.
All change starts from within. Initially, a person may just know that something has to improve, and may not even know how to go about it. In this case, they need to figure out what’s wrong and what they need to transform that will make it better. Many times, people want the outer world to be different without doing any inner work. But in every instance, progress begins with changing a thought, belief, attitude, and then a behavior before improvement can be seen in the physical world.
Improving Self-Esteem
For example, someone with low self-esteem, who feels like they’re not good enough, or not worth anything, may not realize that they need a greater sense of self-worth and not know what to do to reach it. All that they recognize is that they feel like they don’t deserve anything nice, and that people take advantage of them.
The first step in healing this is to stop putting themselves down and talk to themselves in a more compassionate and supportive manner. But they must also change some of their behaviors to mirror this new inner dialogue. No matter how difficult it is, they must make sure that they begin to stand up for themselves.
Deal with Inner Attitudes
This doesn’t mean that they should indulge themselves in unhealthy behaviors. For instance, I’ve known people who have decided that they deserve to go out and spend $100 on a meal, even if it means they can’t pay their rent, phone bill, or buy groceries. They think that’s the way to improve their self-image and feel better. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. A person with a healthy self-worth will deny themselves immediate, and transitory, gratification to be able to enjoy a sense of security in the long term.
The same is true for anyone who wants to reduce weight. Rewarding themselves with food, or using it to mask emotions, isn’t going to bring any lasting improvement. They must learn healthy eating behaviors, and listen to what their body (not their emotions) wants to eat, along with reducing portion size, and starting to exercise. They also have to learn to deal with their feelings without using food as a crutch. If the inner attitudes aren’t dealt with and adjusted, no diet in the world is going to permanently keep off the weight.
What Do You Need to Change?
Edwene Gaines, prosperity teacher, recommended meditating on this question, “What do I need to change within myself in order to…?” Sometimes it may mean being willing to let go of a relationship, move, or change jobs. It always indicates changing some attitude or belief on the inner plane, while making changes on the physical plane that show your commitment to the shift in your consciousness.
Permanent improvement in any area of life demands our making a choice for something different, begin to align our beliefs and attitudes so that the new idea is possible and desirable, and then take action to embody the new concept. All of these steps are necessary for there to be change. And when we begin to entertain the idea of change, the Universe will bring us opportunities to help it along. New people will show up in our lives, information will drop onto our desk, or some event may nudge it along. We just have to have the courage and commitment to take the leap into a brighter future.
Affirmation:
I now identify the areas of my life that I want to change and recognize what needs to happen for them to improve. I’m guided to understand what I need to change within myself to create the transformation in my life. The answer is clear. With my whole being, I’m willing to do what is necessary to improve. As I make the decision to change, the Universe supports me and brings whatever I need to help me.
Reframing is a powerful way to change your thoughts and belief about yourself or a situation. However, there are situations that reframing will just make worse. Learn the 3 types of situations in which reframing doesn’t work, and what to do about them.
Thank you for joining me for a mindset tip. This one is about reframing. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist.
Reframing is a powerful way to change your thoughts about yourself or a situation. You take a different perspective, which can change your thoughts about it. When you change your thoughts, then you have more options, and can make better decisions and take different actions. This will affect the situation, and generally benefit you in the long run.
However, there are situations that reframing will just make worse. Therefore, reframing shouldn’t be used as a way to improve your outlook or excuse behavior. When a situation has become unacceptable and won’t change, it’s not helpful for you to try to reframe it to adjust to it.
I know. I’ve experienced each of these issues and tried to change my thinking about it to make it better. It didn’t work out well in any of them. Instead, it’s better take action to deal with the situation, even if it’s painful. The types of situations I’m talking about are:
1. Relationships. I’m especially talking about friends or romantic relationships, but it could be any relationship you might have. When two people are incompatible or have grown apart, no amount of thinking differently about what’s going on is going to make it better. Trying to adjust and just live with it will just prolong the pain. Instead, it’s time to face reality and free yourself and the other person to find someone who truly suits you.
2. Abuse. This would be a more intense version of what I just mentioned. Again, this could be in a romantic relationship, family, friend or work relationship. If someone is constantly harassing you, changing your thinking about it or them isn’t going to make them stop. Excusing their behavior will just encourage them to continue. Your responsibility is to your well being and to find someplace healthier for you.
3. Avoid Accountability. When you’ve made an agreement with someone, yourself or others, reframing doesn’t give you the excuse to avoid fulfilling that agreement. You’ll lose respect for yourself and so will the other person. The situation isn’t going to go away. Instead, accept the responsibility, and decide how you need to address it. It’s better for you in the long-run.
All of these confuse reframing with making excuses, for yourself or for others, in an attempt to avoid taking action. Reframing shouldn’t be used to maintain the status quo or stay in an unhealthy situation. Once you’ve decided on the best course of action for you, you can then reframe the situation as a learning experience. That’s what I’ve done in each of these cases.
Thank you for watching. If this video was helpful, and you’d like to be notified of others I release, please subscribe to my channel.
The way you think about a situation affects your emotions, actions and your ability to find solutions. When you look at a situation from a single perspective, you get stuck in however it’s making you feel at that moment. The situation doesn’t impact you as much as your opinion about it.
If you’re optimistic about being able to triumph over circumstances, then you’re empowered and have the ability to respond in a positive way. However, if you feel helpless, angry, or stressed, this closes down your creativity. Negative thoughts about a situation freeze your resourcefulness. Your negative emotions will keep you from being able to take actions that will benefit you. In that case, all you can do is to react in ways you’ve done before and get similar results. You’ll also limit the Universe from being able to create something good from it.
Shift Your Perspective
However, you have the power to change the way you think about any occurrence. When you look at the situation from a different angle, you open yourself up to new options and interpretations. You can do this by finding a way to reframe the incident.
Imagine you’re looking out of a window. You see the landscape from a single perspective. Anything else outside of your view doesn’t exist. You might even judge it to be boring or threatening. Once you’ve decided your attitude towards it, then your choices, and the Universe’s, are limited.
But if you shift your position or your viewpoint in relationship to the window, suddenly you have a different angle on the scene. You notice things you didn’t before, such as beauty or support. You’ve put a different frame around the landscape. Now you have a greater appreciation for what’s there and change your conclusions.
Reframing a situation changes where you place your attention, and helps you to think differently about the conditions. When you think differently, you’re empowered to make different decisions. Suddenly, a wider world of possibilities is available to you, and the Universe can bring you greater good.
How to Reframe a Situation
Reframing also opens the door for the subconscious to seek solutions. Your subconscious can discover new options and opportunities for you. Learning how to reframe takes a willingness to let go of your preconceived notions and entrenched attitudes. But it can pay off by not only making you feel better, but improving your approach to the circumstances.
1. Notice what’s upsetting you. The way you think about something causes you to feel an emotion. When you recognize you’re distressed, track it back to what you were originally thinking. You may become aware of an outdated idea, attitude or judgment.
2. How else can you look at the situation? Mentally, take a step back from your emotions. Challenge your thoughts and beliefs about the situation. Could there be some other interpretation? Consider a benefit that could come from the situation or what you could learn from it.
3. What’s something more positive you can tell yourself about the situation? You choose what you tell yourself about the circumstances. By taking a different inner position on the incident, you cultivate greater resources to make better decisions. If you can’t think of anything specific about the situation, use a generalized affirmation. “This, too, shall pass” or “Something wonderful comes from this” are ones I’ve used with great success.
Make Reframing a Habit
Your old ways of reacting to situations is a habit, but you can create new habits. When a circumstance arises that makes you uncomfortable, practice disputing your thoughts, beliefs and emotions about it. This breaks up old thought patterns to allow you to build new mental pathways that support your empowerment. Eventually, this process will become automatic.
Wayne Dyer said, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” When you shift your position towards an event, you become aware of other options and actions you can take. As your actions change, so will the dynamics in the situation, and generally for your benefit. The Universe will have a channel to extract the good and present it to you in a way you may not expect.
Affirmation:
Whenever I experience a challenging situation, I immediately seek to find the good in it. I transform any upsetting thoughts about the circumstances into neutral or positive ideas. As I do, I allow the power of the Universe to flow through and create good from the situation. Something wonderful comes to me as a result.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
When Sandy was a small child, she and her younger brother were playing in the same room. She was playing quietly with a doll, and he was pounding his truck with a rock. Her mother yelled at them to stop it, saying that they were “bad” and “destructive.” She went on to rant that they’d never receive anything good because they wouldn’t take care of it. Because of this episode, Sandy grew up believing that she didn’t deserve anything of value.
This belief had created a filter in Sandy’s life. Whenever she had an opportunity to improve her life or have something of importance, she sabotaged it. One time, she lost a precious necklace soon after she received it. Another time, after getting a promotion, she forgot a vital deadline and was demoted as a result. Her subconscious made her belief that she couldn’t be trusted into a reality.
Break with the Old Belief
One day, as she was relating the memory to a friend, she realized that her mother hadn’t been speaking to her. Suddenly, she recognized that her mother had been addressing her brother. Reassessing the situation from an adult perspective, Sandy understood her mother had been frustrated that her brother had destroyed every toy he’d gotten. Sandy’s entire belief system shifted, and she felt a surge of self-worth.
Although Sandy didn’t consciously choose the belief that she wasn’t worthy of anything good, it was one that she’d accepted before she was old enough to know better? Some of your beliefs are from single experiences that deeply impressed you, like Sandy’s. Others are hand-me-downs from your family or friends when you were too young to decide whether they were valid or not.
Your Beliefs Filter the World
For instance, you may have been a graceful dancer, but a jealous sibling or classmate told you that you were a klutz. If you accepted the judgment, from that point on you had a hard time walking without tripping over a blade of grass.
Or maybe you had a label pinned to you. Were you a strong minded child that refused to blindly follow instructions? If so, you may have been labeled a “troublemaker” by teachers and parents. And from that point on, you put on that persona and causing trouble became your hobby.
You filter your world through your beliefs. They affect your decisions, behaviors, reactions, and actions. They also influence how you respond to people and situations and how others respond to you. Not only that, your subconscious mind makes sure that you confirm your beliefs. This is why Sandy lost the necklace, the dancer became clumsy, and the stubborn child became a troublemaker.
Assess Your Beliefs
But a belief isn’t set in stone. For instance, the incident with Sandy’s brother didn’t affect him at all. He became a truck driver with an impeccable record. A situation doesn’t create a belief. Your belief is simply an interpretation of events and your comprehension could be incorrect, as Sandy’s was. You may not have all the facts or information, just as Sandy didn’t. Your judgment is also affected by other beliefs and perceptions you have. Two different people would interpret the situation in very different ways, depending on their own experiences, perceptions and beliefs.
You can choose what to believe. If a belief isn’t working for you, then you can change it. Beliefs are created by what you focus on and accept as a reality. If you focus on a feeling of worthlessness, then that’s what you’ll believe. However, if you consciously recognize your true worth, and focus on that, you’ll start to feel deserving.
When you focus on the idea that life is a struggle, then you’ll only notice conditions that verify your belief. Choosing to believe that life can be easy and harmonious will switch your filter, and instruct your subconscious to find ways for life to flow smoother.
Are Your Beliefs Serving You?
Are your beliefs giving you the life you want or taking you where you want to go? If not, what do you need to believe to take you there? When the old belief surfaces, substitute the new one. It may feel threatening at first because you’re changing a long standing habit. But the sky won’t fall if you do.
After the old belief filter disappeared from Sandy’s mind, she got a promotion and this time she remembered her deadlines. Because she realized her value, she was able to accept value into her world. What beliefs do you choose to change so you can claim a better life?
Affirmation:
I reassess old, outdated beliefs and recognize which ones have been limiting filters for me. By identifying them and that they’re no longer useful, I take the first step to changing them. The Universe completely supports me in this endeavor. I give myself permission to change my belief to something more positive and that opens the door to success, health, harmony and abundance.
As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women entrepreneurs and small business owners to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, wellbeing and prosperity.To achieve your goals with confidence and ease in 4 powerful steps, register for her FREE training video and accompanying action planning guide at https://www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
