authentic – Empowering Your Mind

Reclaim Your Power from Your Inner Critic

May 15, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

Do you ever hear yourself say you “should” do something? Most people hear this term in an attempt to motivate them to take a particular action. That nagging inner voice comes from the past, and is usually counterproductive. Learn why it harasses you, and what you can do to quiet it down.

Watch Reclaim Your Power from Your Inner Critic.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. Do you ever “should” on yourself, as in “I should [fill in the blank]?” Most of us do to some extent. And most of us resent that inner voice and resist what it’s trying to guilt us to do. But do you ever wonder where that critical voice came from?

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, and I’m a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve worked with many people who were dealing with inner critical voices that were making their lives miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way.

When you hear “you must,” “you ought to,” or “you should,” that voice is generally an echo from earlier in your life. It’s repeating what your mom, dad, relative, teacher, or some other authority expected you to do.

Think about it. Aren’t those dictates familiar? That voice is simply trying to make sure you do what it thinks is necessary for you to gain the approval of the past authority figure. But it’s no longer necessary.

You’re all grown up now, right? You don’t need the approval of people who no longer have any control over your life. You can make your own decisions about what’s best for you. Sometimes, what you decide may align with what that voice wants, and sometimes it won’t. But you no longer have to live up to those expectations.

That voice is trying to help you by keeping you out of trouble with people who may no longer be in your life. It’s an outdated response, isn’t it? So when you hear that order, respond by saying something like, “Thank you, but I can take care of myself now,” or “Thank you, but I can make the decision now.”.

By thanking it, you’re acknowledging that part’s purpose to help. By letting it know you are responsible for your life now, and take care of your responsibilities, it relieves it of further effort. You can then decide what you want to do about whatever it’s concerned about.

It may take some time to re-educate that part of you, so don’t give up. This type of response to it will be much more successful than resisting or avoiding the dictate. By taking back your power and responsibility over your life, you’ll be more effective, successful and authentic.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my YouTube channel so you’re notified when I post future ones.

Please read the accompanying article, Are You Shoulding on Yourself?

Live Authentically

March 15, 2023 Linda-Ann Stewart

If you’re not living authentically, then you probably feel out of tune with yourself. Being true to yourself is important for you to feel whole. To discover what living authentically means to you, ask yourself these 4 questions. They’ll open the door to self-discovery and a greater sense of well being. Watch Live Authentically.

Transcript:

Do you ever feel like you’re out of phase with your true self? Like you’re trying to squeeze into a suit that doesn’t fit? If so, you’re probably doing something that’s not genuine for you. When people act in ways that aren’t natural for them, they feel like they’re betraying themselves. Being authentic isn’t just a self-improvement catch-phrase, it’s an instinctive imperative.

I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, a focus coach and hypnotherapist. For over 30 years, I’ve helped people achieve their goals in life and business. I learned that self-worth and authenticity was important for a greater sense of well being.

When you’re living authentically, you feel in tune with yourself, with greater self-acceptance and self-worth. The challenge is to discover how you can be more authentic in your life. To do so, you’ll have to become aware of what makes you feel aligned with your inner self.

You can ask yourself some questions, like:

* When do I feel out of tune with myself?

* What can I do in those situations to improve my well being?

* When do I feel the most whole and at ease with myself?

* What actions do I need to take to feel the most authentic?

By pausing to think over these questions, you’ll open a new door. You’ll begin to figure out what you need to do to be in alignment with your deepest self. As Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

As you take small, daily steps to being more authentic, and accepting yourself, you’ll learn how important it is to be true to yourself.

Thank you for watching. If you liked this video and would like to be notified of future videos in which I’ll give you tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please like my channel. Stay focused.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Guided Meditation for Self-Acceptance

February 15, 2022 Linda-Ann Stewart

Would you like higher self-esteem and self-worth? Accept yourself more. Self-acceptance is important for a sense of well being and for you to be able to live up to your potential and achieve your goals. Accepting yourself is easier said than done. Use this short, guided meditation to embrace yourself, so you treat yourself better and are happier.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart. Wouldn’t you like to accept yourself more? Self-acceptance is one of the components to self-esteem and self-worth. These are important for you to feel comfortable in your own skin, have a sense of well being, and live up to your potential.

Accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t want to improve or make changes. You can recognize your failings and still accept yourself. Self-acceptance just means that you’re acknowledging yourself and that you’re ok in the moment.

The opposite of self-acceptance is self-rejection. This resistance to parts of you generally manifests as self-criticism and self-judgement. Neither of those feel good, do they? And they don’t help they way we think they should. They just make things worse. There’s an old saying, “What you resist, persists,” and it’s true about aspects of yourself you don’t like. The more you resist them, the more they persist.

Learning how to accept yourself is easier said than done. When you’ve criticized yourself for years, it’s hard to turn it around and not judge or reject yourself. I’d like to lead you through a short meditation that will help you begin to embrace yourself.

If you so choose, close your eyes.

Think of some things you like about yourself. These may be characteristics, talents, skills, traits, how you express yourself and other things. They are things that you appreciate about yourself. They make you a unique individual.

Consider your strengths. You’re better at some things than at others. Recognize what it is that you do well.

You’re not perfect. No one is. Everyone has things they do well, and things that they don’t do as well. Everyone has pieces of themselves that they would rather weren’t there. But the totality of you creates the person you are right now.

You’re a constantly growing, learning individual. You will always become a better person, if you so desire. By accepting yourself, as you are now, with all your flaws, means that you have an easier time becoming that better person. When you accept yourself, you can accept others.

So think of one thing you don’t like about yourself, and say to yourself, “I recognize that it’s a part of me.” “I acknowledge that it’s a part of me.” “I accept that it’s a part of me.” If it’s something that can be changed, and you want to, then you set an intention to do so. If it cannot be changed, accept it.

You are a unique and whole individual. The things you like about yourself, your strengths and your flaws make you into the person you are. Accept yourself as you are, right now. Repeat to yourself, “I accept myself.”

Change the things you want to and can. And recognize that if you can’t change them, it’s better for you to accept them. When you do, you’re happier and have a greater sense of well being. You treat yourself and others with more compassion. How can you show yourself more compassion?

Open your eyes.

When you accept yourself, with compassion, you’re embracing your whole self. It allows you to be more authentic. Self-acceptance gives you the motivation, inner resources and empowerment to change habits and achieve your goals.

For more articles and tips on mindset, motivation and empowerment, please visit my blog, EmpoweringYourMind.com

Thank you for watching. How can you accept more of yourself today?

Read the accompanying article The Importance of Self-Acceptance.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How to Detect an Inauthentic Person

February 11, 2020 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Recently, I was watching a video podcast interview of a business coach. I was inclined to like him, as his promotional materials indicated that we shared values of being heart-centered, spiritual, and purpose-driven. However, as I watched the podcast, my inner alarms were clanging. I felt something was off between what he claimed to believe and teach, and what I was actually seeing on the podcast.

There was a definite conflict between what he was saying, and how he was acting. He said all the right things, but his unconscious reactions to the discussion and questions were contradictory. They showed that his values were quite different from those he espoused. Because of that, he lost all credibility with me and my interest in pursuing any kind of business relationship with him.

Be Wary of Inauthentic People

Haven’t you ever encountered someone like that? Someone who seems to be in alignment with your values, but it’s just a mask? This can happen in your personal and professional life. You’re drawn to an acquaintance, but they’re always late to coffee or never show up. A business colleague collaborates with you, but you do all the work and they get all the credit.

If you’re not prepared, the inauthentic person can take advantage of you and leave you the poorer for it. They can undermine your self-esteem, self-confidence, self-respect and sabotage your progress in every area of your life. They can also make you doubt yourself and your perceptions.

It’s sometimes difficult to detect the inauthentic person, especially when their reputation sings their praises. Other people have been taken in by their charm. Don’t let them sway your emotions. They’re probably very good at manipulating your feelings for their purposes. Listen to your intuition and don’t get drawn into their self-promotion.

Recognizing an Inauthentic Person

Everyone hides pieces of themselves to be able to deal with their society and culture. For instance, if you’re an artist, you wouldn’t wear bohemian clothes to your job at the bank. Or when your mother-in-law visits and claims her son loves her goulash, but you know he doesn’t. It wouldn’t be good for family harmony for you to tell her the truth.

The difference is a person’s intention. A truly inauthentic person is deliberately insincere and wants to project an entirely different personality to fulfill their agenda. They may need approval, acceptance, control, status, money or power and the only way they think they can gain it is through playing a role.

Here are some behaviors that people have when they are inauthentic and untrustworthy.

They don’t walk their talk. They say one thing and act contrary to what they say. For instance, in the podcast, the coach said he wasn’t trying to sell anything and just wanted to share information. But he constantly pushed his services hard and disparaged anyone who didn’t use them.

They try to impress or intimidate you. There’s a difference between benign self-promotion and boasting that they’re better than anyone else. A person can show how their talents, skills and decisions set them apart without being a braggart. When they keep telling you how great they are, be wary.

They need flattery and attention. Wanting appreciation is normal. Needing constant praise and approval shows a lack of self-confidence. They need external reassurance that they’re accepted.

They treat people like commodities. They consider that people exist only to fulfill their wants and needs. Even though they act like they’re kind and giving, it’s very calculated. There’s always a major payoff for them.

They get defensive and aggressive. When they don’t get what they want, they attack the person who has withheld it. The coach belittled a caller who questioned his process. The coach took it as a personal attack, when the caller just wanted clarification.

Keep your distance when you meet an inauthentic person. If it’s someone in your inner circle, like a relative or coworker, minimize contact as much as possible. Unfortunately, they cannot be trusted with your confidences. When they don’t get what they want from you, they’ll lose interest and find someone else who will fulfill their need.

Trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy about someone, pay attention. You’ll notice when something is out of alignment. Let them go, and move on. Because of your new awareness, you’ll start noticing people who are genuine and sincere. These folks are the ones you can trust.

Affirmation:

The One Life within me guides and directs me into safe and appropriate relationships. I listen to the still, small voice from within that whispers to me, letting me know who is an authentic person and who is not. I bless all people, no matter who they are. But I choose to spend time and energy with those who are trustworthy, genuine and sincere.

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Be Kind to Yourself for More Success

September 5, 2019 Linda-Ann Stewart

by Linda-Ann Stewart

What is your relationship with yourself? Is it adversarial or hostile? For instance, when you make a mistake or fail, are you your own worst critic? You may think that putting yourself down, berating or criticizing yourself will help you do better the next time. But it doesn’t.

Instead, because you’re focusing on what you did wrong, you’re simply setting yourself up to repeat the behavior. And rather than taking care of yourself, you become stressed and frustrated with yourself. This may lead to indulging in self-destructive habits like procrastination, overeating, excessive drinking and more.

Your relationship with yourself is reflected in your relationships with others. If you judge yourself severely, you’re going to attract others who do the same to you. How you treat yourself determines the kind of treatment you’re willing to tolerate from others. You’ll allow people to disrespect, insult and take advantage of you, because you think that’s normal. This can negatively affect your personal and professional relationships, holding you back from achieving your goals and being successful.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

Just because you’ve done something wrong doesn’t mean that you are bad. Rather than being so hard on yourself, what if you were kinder to yourself? Research shows that when you’re nicer to yourself, you’ll experience less stress and anxiety. It also improves your sense of well-being, self-esteem, self-worth and your relationships with others.

People who are kinder to themselves have greater motivation to pick themselves up and try again. When you’re compassionate towards yourself, you’re able to accept yourself for who you are. This gives you additional energy and resilience to improve on your weaknesses and make better decisions in the future.

Shifting your viewpoint makes all the difference. By taking a more realistic view when something upsetting happens, you can put it into perspective and realize that you’re not perfect. You’re simply a human being doing the best you can with the knowledge and resources you had at that time.

When you’re kinder to yourself, you support yourself and your endeavors which allows you to reach your goals. You become more patient with yourself and become more confident. You can cultivate self-compassion by making some easy changes in the way you treat yourself.

Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

1. Use positive self-talk. Give yourself uplifting messages, especially when you realize you didn’t live up to your potential. Tell yourself something like, “It’s okay. I’ll do better next time.” Or, “I am capable and have what it takes to succeed.”

2. When you make a mistake, encourage yourself. Treat yourself as if you were a good friend. Be understanding of what happened and why. Mistakes are the way you learn. You can say, “Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn from this and move on.”

3. Write 3 things you appreciate about yourself every day. It shifts your focus to what you’ve done right in your world. This builds self-acceptance and shows you that you support yourself. You inspire and motivate yourself when you pay attention to what’s good about you.

Self-compassion can improve your relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. You’re the only person you’re with every hour of every day. Why not treat yourself well, which is what you deserve?

Affirmation:
The Universe loves and approves of me, just the way I am right now. I realize I’m a spiritual being having a human experience, and as such, I’m not perfect. I do the best I can with the knowledge I have at the time. But I have the capability to grow, learn and be better. I’m kind to myself, and view myself with the same compassion that the Universe does.

Watch the accompanying video, Self-Compassion Can Help Tame Your Inner Critic.