Do you ever hear yourself say you “should” do something? Most people hear this term in an attempt to motivate them to take a particular action. That nagging inner voice comes from the past, and is usually counterproductive. Learn why it harasses you, and what you can do to quiet it down.
Thank you for joining me. Do you ever “should” on yourself, as in “I should [fill in the blank]?” Most of us do to some extent. And most of us resent that inner voice and resist what it’s trying to guilt us to do. But do you ever wonder where that critical voice came from?
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, and I’m a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’ve worked with many people who were dealing with inner critical voices that were making their lives miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way.
When you hear “you must,” “you ought to,” or “you should,” that voice is generally an echo from earlier in your life. It’s repeating what your mom, dad, relative, teacher, or some other authority expected you to do.
Think about it. Aren’t those dictates familiar? That voice is simply trying to make sure you do what it thinks is necessary for you to gain the approval of the past authority figure. But it’s no longer necessary.
You’re all grown up now, right? You don’t need the approval of people who no longer have any control over your life. You can make your own decisions about what’s best for you. Sometimes, what you decide may align with what that voice wants, and sometimes it won’t. But you no longer have to live up to those expectations.
That voice is trying to help you by keeping you out of trouble with people who may no longer be in your life. It’s an outdated response, isn’t it? So when you hear that order, respond by saying something like, “Thank you, but I can take care of myself now,” or “Thank you, but I can make the decision now.”.
By thanking it, you’re acknowledging that part’s purpose to help. By letting it know you are responsible for your life now, and take care of your responsibilities, it relieves it of further effort. You can then decide what you want to do about whatever it’s concerned about.
It may take some time to re-educate that part of you, so don’t give up. This type of response to it will be much more successful than resisting or avoiding the dictate. By taking back your power and responsibility over your life, you’ll be more effective, successful and authentic.
Thank you for watching. If you liked this video, please like my YouTube channel so you’re notified when I post future ones.
Please read the accompanying article, Are You Shoulding on Yourself?