Be Kind to Yourself for More Success

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Sep 052019
 

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Hanging Hearts

What is your relationship with yourself? Is it adversarial or hostile? For instance, when you make a mistake or fail, are you your own worst critic? You may think that putting yourself down, berating or criticizing yourself will help you do better the next time. But it doesn’t.

Instead, because you’re focusing on what you did wrong, you’re simply setting yourself up to repeat the behavior. And rather than taking care of yourself, you become stressed and frustrated with yourself. This may lead to indulging in self-destructive habits like procrastination, overeating, excessive drinking and more.

Your relationship with yourself is reflected in your relationships with others. If you judge yourself severely, you’re going to attract others who do the same to you. How you treat yourself determines the kind of treatment you’re willing to tolerate from others. You’ll allow people to disrespect, insult and take advantage of you, because you think that’s normal. This can negatively affect your personal and professional relationships, holding you back from achieving your goals and being successful.

Cultivating Self-Compassion

Just because you’ve done something wrong doesn’t mean that you are bad. Rather than being so hard on yourself, what if you were kinder to yourself? Research shows that when you’re nicer to yourself, you’ll experience less stress and anxiety. It also improves your sense of well-being, self-esteem, self-worth and your relationships with others.

People who are kinder to themselves have greater motivation to pick themselves up and try again. When you’re compassionate towards yourself, you’re able to accept yourself for who you are. This gives you additional energy and resilience to improve on your weaknesses and make better decisions in the future.

Shifting your viewpoint makes all the difference. By taking a more realistic view when something upsetting happens, you can put it into perspective and realize that you’re not perfect. You’re simply a human being doing the best you can with the knowledge and resources you had at that time.

When you’re kinder to yourself, you support yourself and your endeavors which allows you to reach your goals. You become more patient with yourself and become more confident. You can cultivate self-compassion by making some easy changes in the way you treat yourself.

Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

1. Use positive self-talk. Give yourself uplifting messages, especially when you realize you didn’t live up to your potential. Tell yourself something like, “It’s okay. I’ll do better next time.” Or, “I am capable and have what it takes to succeed.”

2. When you make a mistake, encourage yourself. Treat yourself as if you were a good friend. Be understanding of what happened and why. Mistakes are the way you learn. You can say, “Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn from this and move on.”

3. Write 3 things you appreciate about yourself every day. It shifts your focus to what you’ve done right in your world. This builds self-acceptance and shows you that you support yourself. You inspire and motivate yourself when you pay attention to what’s good about you.

Self-compassion can improve your relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. You’re the only person you’re with every hour of every day. Why not treat yourself well, which is what you deserve?

Affirmation:

The Universe loves and approves of me, just the way I am right now. I realize I’m a spiritual being having a human experience, and as such, I’m not perfect. I do the best I can with the knowledge I have at the time. But I have the capability to grow, learn and be better. I’m kind to myself, and view myself with the same compassion that the Universe does.

Watch the accompanying video, Self-Compassion Can Help Tame Your Inner Critic.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

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3 Reasons to Acknowledge and Appreciate Yourself

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“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” William James, pioneer in psychology

Most of us tend to be hard on ourselves. We’re highly self-critical, paying more attention to what we haven’t done than what we have. Although we think this helps push us to be better, to achieve our goals, it actually does the opposite. Criticizing yourself is demoralizing and discouraging, and it undermines your motivation and productivity. It makes you feel unworthy and like you’re never good enough. Being self-critical can paralyze you rather than boost you to get more done. It also disconnects you from your inner self and the Universe, making it harder to access your intuition or activate the Law of Attraction.

We’re also taught not to blow our own horn or shamelessly shout our own praise to the world. That’s considered to be prideful and self-centered. So we tend to hide our accomplishments and brush aside compliments. At the same time, we secretly crave acknowledgement and appreciation. These are normal and appropriate desires. It’s only when we abandon ourselves to seek approval from others that these natural impulses can become toxic.

What It Means to Acknowledge Yourself

But how can you find the appreciation you crave, when seeking it from others is disempowering? And how can you drive yourself without making yourself feel insignificant for not doing enough? The way you find this satisfaction is by acknowledging yourself and your accomplishments. When you do, you’re not being conceited or vain, but being honest about your efforts. Acknowledging yourself has nothing to do with building up your ego to feel better than someone else. It has nothing to do with anyone but you and what’s right about you. This is the way the Universe has always seen you.

By acknowledging yourself, you are simply recognizing your authenticity and accomplishments. You give yourself credit for what you do and who you are. This connects you with your center and the Universe, which has always believed in you. You also have more clarity to direct the Law of Attraction. As you support yourself with this kindness and honesty, you validate yourself and accept that you have value.

The Reasons to Acknowledge Yourself

One of the things I do with clients is to have them acknowledge themselves and celebrate their accomplishments. Most of the time, they don’t realize how much they’ve done or how things have changed until we do this exercise. The following are tangible benefits of acknowledging yourself.

1. Raises your self-esteem. Your self-esteem derives from your sense of how much you respect yourself. When you begin to notice what’s good about you and what you have attained, your self-worth rises and you self-image improves. You believe more in yourself and your abilities, which mean you are willing to expand out of your comfort zone.

2. Increases your motivation. Don’t you want to do more when you feel like you’re making progress? For instance, you start to go through a pile of papers, filing things, and once you see how much you’ve whittled it down, you want to do more. The same is true when you pay attention to even the small wins in a day. It energizes and inspires you. You feel encouraged and to reach for more.

3. Improves your mood. Don’t you feel good when you check off tasks that you’ve completed? It activates the reward circuit in the brain and triggers the release of pleasure chemicals. The same is true when you celebrate your efforts. You feel better about yourself and life, and have more resources to deal with challenges.

Give yourself permission to celebrate who you are and your accomplishments. Consider your good qualities, your efforts, and your progress. By making this a daily practice, your life will be richer and happier. You’ll be meeting one of your deepest needs and empower yourself to fulfill more of your potential. The Universe would approve. What can you do today to acknowledge yourself?

Affirmation:

The Universe appreciates me just as I am. It believes in me and knows that I can achieve whatever I desire. I now give myself permission to acknowledge what’s good about me and the good that I do. I know that the Universe approves of and supports me in this activity.

Watch the accompanying video, How to Raise Your Self-Esteem by Acknowledging Yourself.

As a vision strategist, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and small business owners who feel stuck, immobilized and overwhelmed to to get clear, focused and on the fast track to the next level of their business. To achieve a 90-day goal more easily, sign up for her FREE comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.

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