Some positive thinking philosophies tell you to avoid charitable works and those who are poverty stricken. The theory is that you might get sucked into their consciousness, and lose your empowered viewpoint. That you could become sympathetic and then part of the problem. Or that you wouldn’t hold the “needy” as powerful enough to heal their wounds or overcome their problems. Somehow, leaving them to their own devices is supposed to empower them to “pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.”

However, I’ve observed people who follow this idea tend to become judgmental and contemptuous about those who are less fortunate. This doesn’t fulfill the spirit of the ideal. Instead, it creates a callousness that negatively impacts their character and undermines the positive attitude that they mean to cultivate. It tends to breed a sense of arrogance and superiority.

Insulating yourself from others’ suffering may mean that you don’t get the opportunity to develop compassion. In a recent study, those who are in the lower socio-economic classes are more responsive to suffering and more compassionate than those in the more affluent class.

The UC Berkeley researchers conjecture that the upper classes aren’t “coldhearted,” it’s just that they haven’t had to deal with the challenges the lower classes have. Therefore, their theory is that the upper classes don’t recognize the distress expressed by people.

Becoming aware of when others are experiencing distress, suffering and anxiety is the first step to becoming more compassionate. With compassion, you can be aware of others’ emotions without getting drawn into the problem. You can then choose a response that can best support and empower the sufferer.

Emotional Intelligence, which has been called more important than I.Q., is the ability to perceive and label yours and others’ emotions. It’s said that this skill is necessary for you to fulfill your full potential in your personal and professional life. So it’s even good for your success in life to be more aware of how other people are feeling.

Compassion opens the heart, reduces stress, promotes success and encourages happiness. Being concerned about the well being of others improves your own.

Inspired by the article: Lower Classes Quicker to Show Compassion in the Face of Suffering

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

attitude · compassion · empowerment · personal growth · success

Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act;
Sow an Act, and you reap a Habit;
Sow a Habit, and you reap a Character;
Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny.

attitude · beliefs · habit · inspiration · personal development

Question: With all the self-development and personal growth methods available, are they all teaching something different?

Answer: Whether it’s yoga, est, reiki, hypnotherapy, EFT, affirmations or whatever, all spiritual development techniques have a similar goal in mind. That goal is to help you open yourself up to a greater flow of Spirit.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical, mental or emotional method, it’s designed to change your conception of yourself, your body or your world. That change helps to release resistance to allowing more of Universal good into your life.

They may go about it differently, and state it differently, but when you change your perspective, and have an intention to spiritually evolve, the result is more joy, peace and harmony.

Copyright 2003, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

affirmation · beliefs · change · empowerment · intention · peace of mind · personal development · personal growth · self-help · self-hypnosis · self-improvement · spiritual

by Linda-Ann Stewart

It’s time to reclaim the power you’ve given away. Don’t let a past situation govern your life or choices any longer. You can’t control others or what they do.They have their own opinions and perceptions that may not agree with yours. And you don’t want the thought of them to continue to affect you and your emotions.

Realize that anyone who upset you probably didn’t target you personally. They may not have hurt you deliberately. Even if they attacked you, they might have just randomly picked you as a the target of their hostility. Maybe you accidentally triggered a sensitive area for them. Who knows?

When you get angry, mentally step back and reassess. You can then make rational choices instead of reactionary ones. You can decide what’s best for you in the long run. Lashing out and making snide remarks won’t resolve the situation and will probably make it worse. When you’re able to stay cool, you’re in control of yourself and the situation. You can stand up for yourself, and for your rights, calmly.

Decide what you need to learn from the circumstance. Should you trust them less, not let them so close, or were you expecting them to be different from who they are? Whatever the lesson, as long as you remember it, you can fulfill the purpose of why you got upset. Establish boundaries and decide how much contact you want with this person.

Hallie was a very unhappy woman. Only when you’re willing to let go of your anger do you have the space to allow happiness in. Peace of mind, empowerment, health and harmony reward you when you learn the lesson from anger and resolve it. Your mind is then able to expand to a greater level of its potential.

Affirmation:

I recognize that anger is counterproductive if I hold onto it. It also hands my power over to those I’m angry at. When I reclaim my power, I seek rational methods to deal with the situation. As I do, I access more of my potential. It also allows me to channel my energy to the successful fulfillment of my goals.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

beliefs · empowerment · peace of mind · personal development · personal growth · problem solving · self-help · self-improvement · stress management

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Hallie prided herself on holding grudges. She never forgave anyone for any real or imagined slight. Once someone had offended her, she’d cut them out of her life. This attitude caused her to be exhausted, and negatively affected her health and her relationships.

Anger is a survival instinct that lets you know that some right has been violated. When you get angry with someone, it provides protection so that the other person will think twice about acting like that again. Once the situation has been dealt with, it has fulfilled its purpose and anger fades away.

However, if you continue to hold onto your anger, like Hallie, you’re trying to protect yourself against a threat that no longer exists. Anger then twists into hostility, a bubbling cauldron of antagonism. Studies have shown that hostility depresses the immune system and harms cardiovascular function.

Antagonism ties up energy that could be used for something productive. This affects you physically with increased stress, tense muscles, an upset stomach, and shallow breathing. It also ruins relationships and contributes to the self-destructive habits of smoking, drinking, overeating, and others.

Anger is energy. As long as it’s moving and released, it can actually help make constructive changes. But if it gets stuck, it turns to hostility and becomes a black hole that sucks in more energy. “Energy flows where attention goes.” When you’re focused on holding onto anger, it diverts energy from manifesting good. The Law of Attraction causes it to draw more disharmony and frustration to you.

When you’re angry, your mind functions at much less than your normal potential. Chronic anger greatly reduces your ability to think, make decisions and tap into creativity.

If you hold a grudge, like Hallie, you’re trying to control a situation that’s in the past. It’s a reaction against feeling helpless, but it keeps you in a victim cycle. You’re letting the past rule how you feel and act. You might think it makes you stronger and more powerful than the other person. Instead, you’ve just handed control of your emotions over to them.

They may no longer even think of you, but they’re still very much a part of your thoughts. Maybe you’re trying to punish them. But you’re not hurting them at all. The only person it’s harming is you. You may think that you’re protecting yourself, but you’re actually keeping yourself immobile, unable to learn from a situation and move forward.

As long as you continue to be angry, you’re holding that person and situation to you like glue. The relationship or situation isn’t over for you. Every time you think of it, your subconscious thinks it’s happening all over again and it revs up your anger all over again.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

beliefs · empowerment · Law of Attraction · peace of mind · personal development · personal growth · problem solving · self-help · self-improvement · stress management

Television, ipods, and Internet all take up our attention. Texting, email, and cell phones keep us connected to each other all the time. All the noise, contacts and distractions fill up our consciousness to make a never ending din that prevents us from having any privacy or quiet time.

It takes time and energy to stay current with all our social networks. Unfortunately, it also  keeps us from turning inward and listening to our inner selves. With this much social interaction, there’s little mental space left to be introspective, creative or productive.

Businesses and schools encourage group interaction to learn and create. But creativity blooms in solitude and quiet. “An artist requires the upkeep of creative solitude,” says Julia Cameron, author of “The Artist’s Way.”

In “The Artist’s Way,” a 12 week course for blocked creatives, there is one week where the reader cannot read anything or watch television. This assignment allows the mind to fill the well of creativity. If the mind is drunk on others’ creativity, it gets lazy or overwhelmed. Details drug the mind and it won’t have enough resources to hear the still small voice of the inner self.

Many companies are now insisting their workers have time away from email, phones and other interuptions. They’re more efficient and able to get more done in less time, because they’re more productive.

Social interaction, teams and groups have a place and a role to play. But if individuals are to be more productive, they need to have some privacy. They need to be alone with their thoughts and their projects to let their mental processes simmer. Once they’ve had time to work, they can surface to bounce ideas off of friends and coworkers.

Too much solitude encourages stagnation. Too much collaberation discourages individual ideas. We need to balance both. And if we want to be able to listen to our inner selves, we need to turn off all the devices that constantly scream for our attention. Instead of our focus being outwardly directed to our social networks, we need to turn it inward and allow the well of our inner life to be filled.

Inspired by:
The Rise Of The New Groupthink
Tame The Email Beast

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

creativity · mindfulness · peace of mind · productivity · success

“Strategic Self-Hypnosis: To Overcome Stress, Improve Performance, and Live to Your Fullest Potential”
by Roger A. Straus, Ph.D.

Many years ago, when I was just getting involved in hypnosis, I found this book in the library. Soon after, I bought my own copy. This book is a bit different from other self-hypnosis books. Although it includes information about hypnosis and the minds other books do, this one approaches the explanation a bit differently and it has different techniques than most of the other literature.

The holistic approach of this book is designed to help the reader become more aware of themselves, to work with latent potentials, and program a more positive conduct. The strategies are more indirect than the straight line direct suggestions of other authors. Though direct suggestion works well, there are times when a more indirect approach is more helpful, such as when a person is blocking or sabotaging an improvement.

In each chapter, there are exercises and each one includes a script to use or questions to answer. They include everything from exploring your potential and bringing it into the real world to assessing any problems or blockages. The author gives step-by-step instructions on how to do self-hypnosis and how to deepen the readers practice.

There is also an interesting section on remembering your future, to help program what it is that you want. There are techniques to deal with various problems, such as being able to clear your mind in a stressful situation, stopping negative thinking, letting go of unwanted feelings, and more.

If you already have some knowledge of self-hypnosis (or even if you don’t), this book will further your practice and help you go deeper in self-understanding. It draws upon the wisdom of your subconscious to help find solutions to problems that may have resisted resolution.

~ Linda-Ann

beliefs · change · empowerment · goals · imagery · personal development · self-hypnosis · visualize

Forgiveness is a powerful process that brings you freedom and peace of mind. But sometimes it’s hard to know where to begin. When you’re able to understand what prompted the person to hurt you, this can begin to heal your wound. Discover some different ways of looking at the situation that can give you valuable information and guidance to heal.

Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

intention · personal development · personal growth · positive thinking · self-improvement

Question: Do you have any inspiration on how to deal with fears I’ve been encountering that have been around for a long time?

Answer: This may sound surface, but I love what the letters of FEAR spell out – “False Evidence/Education Appearing Real.” Because fear really is a false concept. Fear is simply the opposite side of faith. Fear means you’re confident that what you fear will happen.

But to deal with the old ones means you need to access them. Recognize that they served you in the past, but you’ve outgrown the need for them. It can be scary, because they’ve limited you for so long that they’ve gotten to be a comfortable, ratty old blanket. And they can give you the excuse not to move forward and risk.

What I’ve discovered is that when you face your fears, step out and begin to do what you fear, many times the fear evaporates because it realizes that you don’t need it anymore.

Sometimes, when I do begin to confront and go beyond the fear, it begins to fight back, because it thinks I still need it. In that case, I find out what the core issue is. Once, it was a belief that I had to struggle in life to avoid others’ criticisms.

What is it that you’re truly afraid of? Meditate on that, and see what might come up. You may find that it’s simply a hollow habititual way of thinking.

Also, you might meditate to find out how the fear is serving you now, in present day. For instance, my need to struggle kept me from fully expressing myself, and kept me safe. I may have been criticized, but as long as I was struggling, no one could complain I wasn’t working. And my results, which never happened, couldn’t be criticized.

Once I decided that it was safe to move on, and who cares if someone doesn’t like what I’m doing, the struggle issue let go.

Copyright 2003, 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

empowerment · meditation · personal development · personal growth · self-help · self-improvement

Someone asked, “How do I deal with a negative loved one?” at one of my recent presentations.  Their loved one would focus on the negative and endlessly complain about it.

This is a difficult situation, because you care about this person. But it’s not your place to be their wailing wall. They get to vent their frustration, but if they don’t do anything to change the situation, it’s not helping them, and it’s certainly not helping you.

Being around a negative person is bound to drag down your positive mood. So whether the loved one is a friend, sibling, parent or spouse, you need to protect your emotional balance. Here is a strategy I suggest to those with this problem. It works with spouses, parents, friends and others.

1. Let them vent for a few minutes. You could even acknowledge that they feel upset, resentful, helpless or whatever the case may be. Don’t try to change their point of view. Not only will it not help, but also you’re not responsible for making them feel better.

2. After a few minutes, excuse yourself and go do something else. Make sure they can’t follow you to continue to spout their grievances. Separate yourself from them and stay away for at least half an hour.

3. If it’s appropriate return to their presence. They may have calmed down by now, and changed the course of their discourse. If they’ve improved their mood and you feel more comfortable being with them, stick around. However, if they start complaining again, repeat the above steps.

If you’re on a phone call with them, listen for a few minutes as in step 1. After a short time, say you have to go and hang up. Don’t call them back for at least an hour and follow the remaining steps.

This may seem difficult, especially if you’re visiting someone for a short time. It may not seem fair to leave them so quickly. But it’s not fair of them to dump their complaints on you.

The purpose of this exercise is to let their subconscious know that you won’t tolerate very much of their negativity. When they’re more neutral or positive, you’ll be more likely to keep them company. Don’t tell them what you’re doing. It’s much more effective to let their subconscious figure it out for itself.

You train people how to treat you. They’ve learned that you’ll give them attention when they’re negative. You may spend time trying to make them feel better. If you take that attention away, and give them attention when they’re nicer to be around, they’ll eventually figure it out.

At the very least, you’ll have reduced the time you have to be around a negative person. And you’ll find your positive outlook easier to maintain.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

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