Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out: On Relationship and
Recovery
by Patricia Evans

This book is the sequel to the book I reviewed last month. As much as I learned from the first book, I learned even more from this one. Not only does it contain letters from people that have experienced verbal abuse, but the author goes into much greater detail analyzing the problem and ways to deal with it.

In one letter, a woman writes that she attended a support group for abused women. The women would discuss their bruises, broken bones, etc. She’s ask each woman, “Which was worse in your relationship, the physical or verbal abuse?” Each woman asserted the verbal abuse was worse.

Verbal abuse isn’t something that can be pointed to and a person can say “I have a bruise, therefore I was hurt.” It’s much more diffuse and dangerous than that.

The author covers the different games and “traps” an abuser uses to convince the survivor that it’s their fault. Just like a physical batterer will convince his/her victim that they deserved the battering. Near the end of the book, there are affirmations for self-esteem and instructions on how a person can begin to build their self-worth.

Verbal abuse kills the spirit. But with time and help, and self-recognition, a person can heal. This book is a great resource in the direction.

Copyright 2003, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

affirmation · beliefs · believe · empowerment · inspiration · self-help · self-improvement · self-worth

The Verbally Abusive Relationship:  How To Recognize It And How To Respond
by Patricia Evans

Years ago, this book leaped off of the library shelf at me. It was at a time in which I was just recognizing that some people in my life were belittling and demeaning me, and that type of behavior wasn’t beneficial. It seems so simple now, but at the time this was a new concept for me. The information in this book was an eye-opener to me. The author explains how a person becomes a verbal abuser and why they do it.

I thought that if I could just explain myself better, the person would understand and not be so angry and mean. I learned that they didn’t want to understand. A verbal abuser feels so bad about themselves that they put others down to make themselves feel better, more powerful. And nothing I said or did was going to change their behavior.

This book details the different types of verbal abuse, how to recognize if you’re being abused, and what to do about it. The author describes the signals you might physically and mentally experience when you’re being verbally abused.

As children, we’re told that “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt me.” But words do hurt, deeper and longer sometimes than physical abuse. My hurt feelings were always invalidated, and I went along with that, until I read this book. This book is so valuable to me that I don’t let it out of my possession.

Copyright 2003, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

change · empowerment · intuition · self-esteem · self-worth

“Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning Self-Criticism into a Creative Asset”
by Hal Stone and Sidra Stone

Review by Lorna Stewart

I found this book to be eye opening. The authors urge us to become aware of that inner voice that constantly criticizes us for everything we do — or do not do. This voice will even bring up things from the distant past, for instance, “Why didn’t you write and thank Aunt Bertha for the birthday card?” Never mind that the card was sent 63 years ago and that it — and Aunt Bertha– have been dust for fifty-five of them. Once we become aware of the voice and its messages we can begin to take
steps to change the messages.

The key to doing this is to recognize that the frantic criticism is, in reality, a frantic call for help! Help in handling a situation that has gotten out of hand. The Inner Critic is frightened! By finding out what is threatening it and offering support in dealing with the situation you can enlist its help on finding out just what issues need to be addressed — and then addressing them. The big difference is that now you must take responsibility for solving the problems. In other words you must move from the passive to the active role.

It is an excellent book…not an easy read because it is jam packed with new concepts. But stick with it. I think you will be well rewarded.

attitude · change · empowerment · personal development · personal growth · self-help · self-improvement · self-talk

These are books I’ve found helpful in learning how to deal with difficult people. You can use them as a place to start finding resources that will help you cope and care for your well being.

1. Tongue Fu!: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn
2. Take the Bully by the Horns: Stop Unethical, Uncooperative, or Unpleasant People from Running and Ruining Your Life by Sam Horn
3. The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans
4. Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out; On relationship and recovery by Patricia Evans
5. Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans
6. The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work by Suzette Haden Elgin
7. Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons Or Duct Tape by Marsha Petrie Sue
8. The Reactor Factor: How to Handle Difficult Work Situations Without Going Nuclear by Marsha Petrie Sue
9. Coping with Difficult People: The Proven-Effective Battle Plan That Has Helped Millions Deal with the Troublemakers in Their Lives at Home and at Work by Robert M. Branson

change · personal development · personal growth · self-help · self-improvement · self-worth · stress management

“The Dynamic Laws Of Prosperity”
by Catherine Ponder

This book is a classic in metaphysical literature. The author has written many books on abundance, but this is a primer on prosperity techniques. She covers many aspects of prosperity, from affirmations to imaging to attitudes to forgiveness.

The first chapter attacks old negative bias’ towards wealth. She continues with basic laws of prosperity, and addresses many of the issues that prevent manifesting it.

Even if you don’t desire more prosperity, but a fuller, more satisfying life, this book will help you achieve it. It’s filled with affirmations that direct your mind to expand to accept more good. For more success, abundance, and a more harmonious life, this book is a necessary read.

abundance · affirmation · empowerment · prosperity · success

“Higher Creativity: Liberating the Unconscious for Breakthrough Insight”
by Willis Harman, Ph.D. and Howard Rheingold

This book describes the process of creativity. It gives an understanding of the different stages that a person’s mind goes through from the start of working through a problem to the end result of a solution.

The authors describe the conditions that are necessary to access creativity, as well as how the mind works through a challenge. They state that the subconscious is just waiting for you to tell it what to do, and it will follow your instructions.

In this book, there are many examples of people who have been able to foster creativity in their lives. The only thing preventing you from experiencing what the author’s call “breakthrough insight” is a disbelief in your own abilities in this area.

I believe this is true, not only for creativity, but for any area of life in which you need some direction or innovative idea. Doubt will short-circuit the connection to listen to and understand the inspiration you get.

This book helps to dispel those concerns, and gives a “toolkit” of ways to go about cultivating creativity in your life. If you have challenges in your business, personal, or creative life, the information contained in this book could give you the breakthrough you need.

believe · creativity · empowerment · personal development · self-improvement

Getting Well Again
by O. Carl Simonton, M.D., Stephanie Matthews-Simonton, James Creighton

This is a must for anyone with cancer, or a chronic illness, who wishes to participate in their healing. Dr. Simonton is the pioneer who used imagery with cancer patients and discovered just how powerful it can be.

This book is a step by step workbook of what to do if you have cancer. It explains how the immune system works, and why cancer might ave developed. It also discusses how to participate in your healing, the benefits of illness (also called “secondary gains”), dealing with resentment, the importance of setting goals, and much more.

There are specific exercises to follow to help you. I believe that anyone that’s ever experienced a chronic illness, or even been close to someone who has, should read this book.

Copyright 2002, 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

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Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth
by Robert A. Johnson

The author is a Jungian psychologist and writes about how to use your personal images in dreams and active imagination to break through old barriers.

It’s one of the few books I’ve read that encourages a person to make their rituals or activities to ground the insights that they’ve gained. And it explains why that part is so necessary. Taking some action acknowledges to the subconscious that the person values the information.

This book has three sections. The first is an introduction to the subconscious (which he calls the unconscious) and its language.

The second part is devoted to dreams and dreamworking. This part gives some instructions on how to interpret your own dreams, then what to integrate the dream into your waking life. This is where the rituals come into play.

The third section addresses active imagination and how to do this on your own. Since imagery is the language of the subconscious, you allow the subconscious to dialogue with you in its own language.

I’ve used many of the processes from this book in my own life with great success. This is a wonderful book, and I wouldn’t let my copy out of my possession.

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The Abundance Book
by John Randolph Price

This little book is worth its weight in gold. I used my original one so much that it’s fallen apart, and I keep it in a plastic zip top bag. I now own three copies, just in case.

Quoting from various teachers and books about prosperity, it condenses all the wisdom about prosperity, money and abundance into this tiny volume.

The author writes about the profound idea that you are your own money, and that it’s your energy that circulates. He includes some prosperity “secrets” to help manifest quicker and easier.

Included in this book is a 40 day prosperity plan, which are 10 affirmations you meditate on. Taking one of these affirmations each day, you circulate through them 4 times.

By the end of the 40 days, you’ll have begun to change your consciousness about money, prosperity and abundance. And it works! Money will begin to flow more easily into your coffers.

This book will change your perspective on money and yourself. Whenever I get into fear about finances, I pull this book out and read it again. And when I do, money begins to appear. If you have an issue with money, run, don’t walk, and buy this book!

Copyright 2001, 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

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The Wisdom Of Florence Scovel Shinn
by Florence Scovel Shinn

Many years ago, when I was in the middle of a personal crisis, it was hard for me to read and comprehend classic spiritual and personal development books that had been my anchor. I decided to go back to the basics, to get me grounded again. These were the first books that I read then, and they were exactly what I needed. They helped me get my mindset straightened out and gave me direction.

This is actually a compilation of her four books, “The Game of Life, and How To Play It,” “The Power of the Spoken Word,” “Your Word Is Your Wand,” and “The Secret Door To Success.” I have the four separate books, and would have loved to have them in a single volume. The author was well known for her teachings about affirmations.

“The Game of Life..” is a primer on Universal Laws. It covers such topics as affirmations, prosperity, karma, nonresistance, forgiveness, intuition, the divine design, and more. “The Secret Door To Success” is a sequel to “The Game of Life…” The title, “The Power of the Spoken Word,” speaks for itself. “Your Word Is Your Wand” is filled with affirmations on various topics.

All of these books, which are compiled into “The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn,” utilize affirmations as the way to transform. In this volume, you’ll find hundreds of affirmations for any number of problems. These affirmations have been quoted and reprinted in other spiritual and self-improvement books, mainly because they are simple and they work.

In the midst of my crisis, these four books helped me find my spiritual path and center again. I would have been lost without them and can’t imagine where I would be now if I hadn’t had them to hold onto.

Today, years later, I continue to refer to them, and recommend them to my friends and clients. And I still use some of her affirmations. This is a classic in spiritual  literature, and every spiritual seeker should have it in their library.

Copyright 2001, 2010 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

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