Empathy Overlooks Behavioral Consequences?

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Nov 152021
 
Question about affirmations

Question: How can empathy make people overlook the consequences of the actions of another person?

Answer: When we’re empathetic, we feel another’s pain. Because it hurts us, we want to fix it (their pain) and make it go away so it stops hurting us. Many times, this means that we excuse an offender, let them get away with inappropriate behavior, so that they feel better/feel better about themselves (so we think), and our pain eases. The problem with that is that they don’t learn from their mistake. We take away the motivation for them to learn from it, by excusing them. In so doing, we make ourselves part of the problem.

It’s not easy to let someone take the consequences of their actions, when we’re sensing their inner pain. But the only way many people learn is to be in enough pain to finally decide to change. In 12-Step programs, this is called “hitting bottom.” Sometimes, an intervention can help to make the alcohol/drug abuser uncomfortable enough to accept help. But during an intervention, the consequences of not accepting help have to be severe enough, and decided enough, to make them realize that they’re not going to be allowed to continue taking advantage of others.

When do we nurture and when do we let them fall flat on their face? If it’s a pattern of behavior, I think it would be time to allow them to experience some consequences. Unfortunately, most people only learn to treat others well by experiencing some discomfort for their behavior.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Why do I attract negative people?

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Aug 302021
 
Question about affirmations

Question: Why do I attract negative people?

Answer: Are you an upbeat or downbeat personality? If you tend to be more negative, then you’re attracting people who are similar to you. You’ve heard of like attracts like? Where people who are similar tend to drift together? You could be drawing people to you who are reflecting that aspect back to you.

On the other hand, if you’re more optimistic, there’s also a principle of opposites attracting. Negative, as well as positive people, are attracted to those with a positive personality. The upbeat person is stronger, more optimistic, inspirational, and tends to uplift those around them. People like to bathe in the warmth and radiance. A negative person may want to be more positive, and therefore be attracted to the characteristic they want.

But there are also those people who want to tear down those whom they see as more gifted, optimistic, and happy. It’s not personal. Remember, “Misery loves company.” If they’re dismal, they want everyone to join them there. It’s not so much that you’ve attracted them, as that they’ve been attracted to you and your warmth. If you’re beginning to feel depleted by the negative people, gently send them on their way. You aren’t obligated to heal them.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Will hypnosis be dangerous if I misuse it?

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Jun 152021
 
Question about affirmations

Question: Will hypnosis be dangerous if I misuse it?

Answer: I get this question a lot. It’s based on a misunderstanding and misconception about hypnosis. If misused, anything in life is dangerous. Electricity powers our computers, lights, appliances, but if you put your finger in the electric socket, you run the danger of being killed.

In the case of hypnosis, it’s a normal state of mind that you’re in and out of everyday. Whenever you focus on anything, you’re in a state of hypnosis. The only way to misuse hypnosis is to give yourself negative suggestions that would decrease the quality of your life. But you do that whenever you make any kind of negative statement about yourself, put yourself down or say “I can’t.”

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Deal with thoughts during meditation?

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Mar 032021
 
Question about affirmations

Question: How do I deal with overwhelming thoughts when I’m trying to meditate?

Answer: It’s normal to have problems with thoughts distracting you during meditation. It happens to those first starting meditation as well as seasoned meditators. It’s one reason why there are so many meditation techniques that use some sort of focus, like a mantra or staring at a candle.

When I use self-hypnosis at the beginning of a meditation, I go deeper than with any other technique. And because you’re focusing on relaxing your body, counting down and then imagining a special place, it helps to calm down the errant thoughts. However, it is a constant practice to keep them calm and not let them distract you.

Whenever you have a thought try to get your attention, bring your focus back to your special place, affirmation or any visualization you’re using. You’re in the process of training your mind. Letting it know that you’re going to take charge. Once you’ve practiced enough to get the thoughts quieter, the next step is to be able to simply observe them and let them go.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Sep 012020
 
Question about affirmations

Question: Can I use affirmations for different issues in the same day?

Answer: I’d suggest that unless the affirmations are for the same issue you not use them the same day. It’s not so much that it would confuse your subconscious as it would overload it if they’re on different issues.

Imagine you’re having to work on several different projects at the same time. You’d feel overwhelmed and wouldn’t get any of them done quickly. It would take much more time to get them all done, taking more time than if you’d done each separately.

I suggest you focus on one issue at a time. If you do want to add another affirmation, making it one for general improvement would be helpful.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

How can I concentrate better?

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Mar 032020
 

Question: How can I learn to concentrate better, so that my mind doesn’t wander?

Question about affirmations

Answer: Do you have a lot of pressure on you? Have you had a lot of stress? These would cause your mind to wander as a way of escaping and having a mental vacation. Have you been doing any meditation, exercise, or any sort of stress reduction techniques? That would be my first recommendation to you.

Secondly, sometimes, the mind gets tired of focusing, and needs some time away from it. Concentrating on one thing for a long period is exhausting, so if you’ve been doing that, start breaking the periods up.

This sounds odd, but simply doing meditation or self-hypnosis each day will give your mind a rest, while at the same time, they help to train your mind to concentrate better.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

Will saying an affirmation occasionally make changes?

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Sep 042019
 

Question about affirmationsQuestion: If I say an affirmation a few times a week, will it turn my life around?

Answer: Saying an affirmation a few times a week won’t undo decades of programming. Change won’t happen overnight. It takes about 30-40 days (and sometimes a few months depending on the difficulty of the issue) of CONCENTRATED focus and affirmations to turn things around.

By concentrated, I mean you can’t do the affirmations, then during the day, counteract them with old, negative beliefs. This gives the subconscious mixed messages. You have to catch those automatic, negative thoughts and turn them around to be consistent with the goal of your affirmation.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision Worksheet.

Self-hypnosis and distractions

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Jul 022019
 

Question about affirmationsQuestion: How is the best way to do self-hypnosis when I’m concerned about distractions, both internal and external?

Answer: It’s best to do self-hypnosis in a quiet room, with the phone, television, etc. turned off. If you have distracting thoughts, simply recognize that and bring your attention back to the goal of your session. Self-hypnosis is a normal state of mind that you’re in several times during the day, as when you’re daydreaming. It’s simply focusing the mind, and it takes training. As you continue to practice, you’ll get better at being able to focus on the goal of your self-hypnosis. As with anything else, practice makes perfect.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

As a vision strategist, speaker, coach, and hypnotherapist, Linda-Ann Stewart helps women entrepreneurs and businesswomen who feel stuck to get a clear vision, focus on strategies, and gain control so they’re able to accelerate to the next level of their business. Sign up for her FREE guide, Take Control of Your Day.

Can I Affirm for Others?

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Apr 152019
 

Question about affirmationsQuestion: Can I affirm that I and my loved ones prosper and are happy, healthy, positive, loving and kind?

Answer: You can’t change another person with an affirmation, you can only change yourself. You can affirm for another person, or people, but it’s recommended that you only do it when they are in alignment with what the affirmation concerns. If you go against what they believe for themselves, or what they want, then you’re imposing your desires on them and infringing on their freedom of choice.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

State of mind for effective affirmation?

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Jan 242019
 

Question about affirmationsQuestion: Do I need to be in a relaxed and restful state of mind for affirmations to be effective?

Answer: You don’t necessarily need to be in a restful, calm state of mind for an affirmation to be successful, although it does help. I say affirmations as I’m driving or taking a walk. Nor do you need to look into a mirror for them to work. That is simply one of the techniques to use for affirmations to impress the mind. The most successful way I’ve used affirmations is to say them out loud.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart