Jeff and visited the Grand Canyon again recently. The day was unpromising when we got there, overcast with a brisk, biting wind. Not a great forecast for photos or comfort. But within an hour, the clouds broke up, the sun came out and the wind dropped to a mild breeze. It became a perfect day for hiking and taking pictures.

We wandered around the rim trail for awhile. Then we took the shuttle to S. Kaibab trailhead, and later to Yaki Point for the sunset.

There is something so peaceful and serene about the Grand Canyon. I know this is over-used, but it’s awe-inspiring. Every moment, the light on the rocks changes, shadows lengthen, colors deepen, and you have a completely different view. It is truly magical.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

inspiration · peace of mind

Prescott, AZ is a delightful mountain community that looks more mid-west than western. It has beautiful Victorian homes, museums, outdoor art shows, galleries, scenery and hiking trails. Jeff and I frequently drive the hour or so to enjoy all of that and the cooler climate.

A few months ago, I went to a meeting and won a door prize of a one-night stay in a hotel in Prescott. Woo-hoo! The certificate was due to expire soon, so we decided to take advantage of it during the cool days of April. I thought we’d have great weather and made plans accordingly. Boy, was I wrong.

Our first day, we hiked alongside one of their lakes in chilly temperatures and a whistling wind. A cold front decided that was the day to begin moving through the state. Fortunately, the sky was clear and Jeff was able to photograph a turtle sunning on a log, ducks and a heron.

The next day, the sky was overcast and it was blustery and cold again. We decided to do some exploring, and drove around to places we hadn’t seen before. Because of the weather, we ate our picnic lunch in the car. Then we did some shopping and came home.

The visit didn’t go as I’d planned. I’d hoped we’d be able to hike both days, but the climate had other ideas. As a result, we were able to see and do things we wouldn’t have if the weather had been nice. Sometimes, when life throws a curve, it works out just fine if you’re willing to let go of your preconceived ideas and go with the flow.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart

attitude

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Have you ever felt yourself being pulled in two different directions? Many years ago, I really wanted to move to Sedona. But when the time came to pack, I was reluctant to leave Houston, where I’d grown up. Even though I didn’t like my old home, it was a familiar place. I knew where things were, and what the environment was like. Sedona would be a complete change, from city to small town, from suburbs to the country. It was a change I desperately desired, but still it was scary.

Take a look at your life. Is it everything you want it to be? Are you as happy as you’d like? Do you have the prosperity you want, the relationships, the health? If you’re not experiencing all that you want in life, then you’re keeping yourself from it. Life wants to give you all the good you can hold. If you’re not constantly accepting more good in your life, you’ve settled into a rut. This is called a comfort zone. Everyone does this, in some way or other.

I’ve heard of prisoners who are freed, who have waited years to be released. But once they have their freedom, they can’t handle it. They’ve spent so many years having someone telling them when to eat, when to sleep, when to exercise, that they can’t function without anyone telling them what to do. Therefore, some former prisoners deliberately commit another crime simply to be caught and put back in prison. They have been forced out of their comfort zone, and want back in.

Most of us don’t have quite this extreme situation. But have you ever had an opportunity that you turned down out of fear? Some people will work hard to succeed, and just as it’s about to happen, they will sabotage it. They’ll forget a vital appointment, they’ll get sick, they’ll begin to drink, or insult the boss. Their comfort zone may not be comfortable, but it is familiar.

Copyright 2000, 2011 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

attitude · change · personal growth · success

Jeff and I visited Grand Canyon National Park again recently. We started at the eastern end this time, which is much more open than the western section. You can clearly see the Colorado River just below you.

Before we got to the Park, we stopped at the Little Colorado River Gorge. This is an amazing canyon carved by a small tributary that flows into the Colorado River at the floor of the Grand Canyon.

While there, a German visitor started asking me questions about the Little Colorado River and the Grand Canyon. I was pleased to be able to answer her questions, such as why the water was so muddy and how it could be much bigger after a rain. She translated what I said to two older gentlemen with her. When they left, one of the gentlemen grinned and bowed to me.

Every time we visit the Canyon, we hear so many foreign languages. According to statistics, visitors from 41 foreign countries travel to it. And a recent study indicates that the number of foreign visitors has risen from 17 percent in 2005 to as high as 35 percent now.

Several times during the day, Jeff or I were asked to take someone’s photograph. We ended the day at sunset in Grand Canyon Village, talking with a family from Australia and answering some of their questions about the area.

We’re always delighted to act as local ambassadors to national and international visitors. It’s a side benefit to enjoying our local natural wonder.

happiness · inspiration · stress management

I know that many books on success and mindset suggest you avoid negative people. It’s true that it’s so much easier to maintain a positive attitude when you’re around people who are also positive. Unfortunately, some people interpret that idea to mean that they should only associate with people who agree with them.

I recently had an experience that illustrated how limiting that could be. I had a short exchange with a businessman who believed that everyone wanted to improve themselves and be better at their jobs. His business was based on that assumption and he worked to improve employees’ skills.

From my experience with clients, I felt that although people might want to be better, they didn’t always want to do what was needed to get there. As soon as I expressed that concept to the gentleman, he ended the discussion. By turning away from a contradictory opinion, he refused to open his mind to different viewpoints. If he had, he might have been able to use them to improve his business.

When you avoid opinions that conflict with yours, it indicates that you’re not really confident of your position. If others’ ideas can affect you that easily, you’re not grounded in your own. Listening to what others think, and why, broadens your understanding so you can modify your ideas and help them grow stronger roots. It can also open the door to inspiration, which will allow you to reach greater heights.

So when you encounter someone with an opposing opinion, listen with an open mind. This is true in business, politics, relationships, and life. Avoid “hardening of the attitudes” and consider what they’re saying. It may change your ideas or strengthen your position. Only by associating with people who have varying opinions and experiences can you have a broader and deeper perspective.

attitude · beliefs · believe · inspiration · mindset · motivation · personal growth · problem solving · productivity · success

Recently, Jeff and I visited Phoenix, 120 miles away. I had a meeting and we planned to do some shopping. The afternoon was forecasted to be stormy, but I hoped the rain would hold off until we were on our way home in the early evening.

We were pretty lucky. The rain held off all afternoon. As Jeff shut the car door after our next-to-last stop, it started to rain. By the time we pulled out of the parking place, it was pouring.

We still had one stop to make, to get gas, which would have been interesting with the continuous lightning. But we drove out of that storm cell, and were able to stay dry while we got gas.

Our route remained dry most of the way home. Lightning lit the clouds all around us on our trip. About 30 minutes from home, we noticed a bunch of brake lights up ahead on the freeway. We slowed down, and as we got closer we noticed lots of cars pulled off to the side of the road.

As we got to the area, we realized that the ground and road were covered with hail. There were a few hailstones still falling, but nothing like what had created this hazard. We must have missed that storm by just a minute or so. A couple of miles further, we drove out of the precipitation.

Just a few miles from home, we drove through some rain and a few hailstones. But it was dry when we got home. We unloaded the car, and not fifteen minutes later, it started to pour. We were very fortunate to have ducked most of the storms that day and evening.

When I heard the weather report for our trip, I’d set my intention to stay dry while in and out of the car in Phoenix. For the most part, it happened. Do I believe I changed the weather? No. Especially since so many thousands of people in our drought ridden state wanted it to rain.

However, I believe my intention affected our timing. If we’d been in that last shop for 10 seconds more, we would have been drenched. We missed the hailstorm by seconds, and got home minutes before the storm hit. We weren’t able to avoid all of the storms, but we dodged most of them and the most damaging ones.

When you set an intention, you bring all the force and direction of your creative mind to bear on a situation. It can make you aware of opportunities, or inspire you to make a contact. Or it can affect your timing so that you return home safely during a day of storms.

empowerment · intention · intuition · subconscious

I love weaving and embroidery, but have been so focused on work that I haven’t had time for either for a very long time. Also, my loom is in storage because it’s too big for our condo. So I’ve spent my free time hiking and doing other enjoyable things. But it hasn’t been the same or given me the same fulfillment.

Recently, I took a class that included doing a little bit of simple embroidery on some felt. I didn’t finish it in class but worked on it a few days later. Unfortunately, I found out that the embroidery floss supplied by the class was about 6 inches too short to finish the project.

I had to wait for several weeks until we went to a nearby city to get the needed embroidery thread. During that time, the project sat on the table, as a reminder that it needed to be completed. Every time I went by and glanced at it, I got a thrill of joy, excitement and satisfaction. The same feelings I had when I actually worked on it.

I realized that I needed to make the time to do some of the fiber handiwork that feeds my soul. Eventually, I need to find a smaller loom. Until then, I’m designing an embroidery project that will satisfy my need to create.

And I wasn’t the only one in my life to come to this conclusion. A friend of mine loves music and hasn’t been able to play her piano for quite some time. A few days ago, she went to play it, and once again discovered how it makes her heart sing. She’s committed herself to practicing again because it’s so important to her emotional health.

Creativity helps keep a person young and their brains active. It’s when we block our creativity that we begin to shrivel up inside.

What creative pursuit have you abandoned to focus on family, work, or other pastimes? How can you begin to include that activity in your life again? When you do, it will enhance your relationships, reduce stress, and give you more energy because you’re being authentic and attending to your soul’s needs.

creativity · happiness · inspiration · intention · stress management

Jeff and I took a short vacation in Las Vegas. Over the years, we’ve puzzled about why we are drawn to this glitzy, showy town. When I visited it in the early 1990′s, I couldn’t wait to leave. Jeff and I first visited in 2000 to enjoy the Star Trek ride (yes, I love Star Trek), and we expected that one extra day would be all we could stand.

Instead, we were enthralled with the themed casinos: Luxor, Excalibur, New York/New York, Treasure Island, and the Venetian. The waste of electricity and water violated our green sensibilities, and yet we loved the lights and Bellagio Dancing Waters.

After mulling over it, we finally realized that we love the creativity and sense of design. The details in some of the themed casinos are beautiful. Unfortunately, the new business attitude in Vegas wants to erase the themes. This is unfortunate, because most of the crowds were in the casinos and shopping areas that still looked different.

We found enough in Vegas to again want to return. This year, we went to Shark Reef in Mandalay Bay. I touched Stingrays, Horseshoe Crabs, and baby Zebra or Leopard Sharks. Our feet hurt from the miles we walked each day and we’re nursing blisters, but we’re elated from our adventure.

creativity · happiness · stress management

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit

You’re in the best of moods and the day feels just great. Suddenly you feel sapped of energy and your spirits have been dampened. The source of the deflation? You’ve just encountered someone else’s bad attitude and it has cast a pall over your own mood. While it’s a personal choice to seek to deflect the negative moods of others, it’s not always that easy – emotions are contagious and we’re programmed to empathize with others around us and to tune into their emotions.

The negative moods and thinking of a toxic person are pervasive – nervous energy, anger, sadness, complaints, clinginess, a view of the world constantly tinged with negativity. And if you happen to be caught up with toxic people daily in your life, by letting their negativity get to you, it can erode your own sense of self and deflate even the most optimistic outlook. Constantly negative emotions can lead to illness and a shortened lifespan – toxic personalities are not healthy for themselves or for you. And since misery loves company, miserable people will try to drag you into their fold; however, take charge of defending yourself and learn how to break free from toxic attitudes around you, to sustain your healthy, fulfilling, and optimistic outlook.

Steps

1. Discover your current attitudes towards life in general. There is no point in striving to be progressive and successful, when you yourself possess the negative energy that holds you back. Take stock of your actions and words. If your own behaviors head in the direction of self-pity and pessimism (a self-perceived victim status), it’s time to re-track and start over by making a choice to adopt more optimistic beliefs and attitudes. Life will give you what you expect, so that your expectations need to be balanced with realistic measures and a more positive framework. This starts with you as a person before looking to blame others for your failures and miseries.
2. Learn to pick up on the energy (or vibes) around you. Besides knowing yourself well, you need to know how you feel when toxic people are around you. You probably already know how to do this but learn to make it a conscious act, not just an unconscious reaction. For example, think about how you feel when you walk into a business where everyone is friendly and cannot do enough to engage you in casual conversation. Then, think about walking into a business where the mood is sour, the assistants are barely able to mumble a hello to you and appear to have other things to do than to engage with you, their faces filled with resentment and a desire to be anywhere than where they are. The energy in both cases is enormously different and you pick up on it immediately. It is the same with individuals; you will grow to consciously notice when you feel immediately uplifted or plunged downward by the people in your presence and you can take steps to make choices about how to react once you recognize these feelings.
3. Recognize the toxic personality types. We all have our down days, and each of us is prone to the blues now and then. However, when it comes to toxic people, the blues appear to be a permanent state of being and feeling down, glum, angry, etc., becomes a primary personality trait rather than a temporary state of mind. The following toxic personality types are ones to be on the watch for:
   
   • Angry at life: A person who is always angry, blowing up, shouting, and reacting to everyone in a volatile manner is a toxic person. They need a lot of help but you don’t need to be their battering board. Staying around a person like this will cause you to become angry too, to see slights where there are none, to react instead of reflecting, and to fear things.
   • Everything in the world is rotten: A person with this worldview is always down and always finds the dark side in everything. And they love miserable company; the more dark thinkers agreeing with their conspiracies and frightening theories, the better. Oddly enough, this person will often be competitive about their misery, trying to outdo any other person’s misery. Prone to seeing other people’s mistakes as enormous transgressions (and therefore cannot forgive) and to fearing that people are going to let them down/let them go any moment, they live in constant state of fate-determining negativity and lack hope. Since they don’t feel capable of changing their trajectory, they’ll try to drag you in with them.
   • Attention seekers: Insecure, unable to create their own sense of self-worth, and emotionally immature, this person is a “clinger”. They want your attention, they want it when they want it (now!) and they need to be at the center of everything. This person’s constant need to be heard and rescued will wear you down eventually and their inability to settle down and take a good, long hard look at themselves means that they try to suck the energy and life from elsewhere, namely from you.
   • Gossips: When all else in your own life fails, spill the beans on other people’s misfortunes is the motto of this difficult character. Instead of keeping confidences and being supportive, this person allows envious feelings to get the better of them instead of getting the better of their envious feelings. Unfortunately, gossip feels exciting to those receiving it initially but it’s like a sugar high; it soon crashes and the nasty after-effects harm everyone. If you have found yourself caught up with a gossip and you’ve enabled them or benefited from them, don’t get hung up on worrying about your complicity; forgive yourself, make a choice to only speak well of others from this point on, and remove yourself form their sphere.
   • Fearful frighteners: Worry, anxiety, “what ifs”, and fear push this personality. Everything in life, from relationships to crossing the road, holds some potential for fear and terror, and this person’s anxiety is unfortunately very contagious.
4. Take a look at the company you keep (or attract). Looking at the list in the previous step, analyze friendships, family relationships, working colleagues and decide objectively just how healthy these people are in terms of your overall well-being and composure. Do they bring out the best in you or do you serve as a sponge for all their problems and miseries? If the latter is the case, for your own sanity and well-being, let them go. This might be really hard initially because of the expectations and sense of obligation that builds up in relationships but staying with people who lead you into constant misery isn’t going to be rewarded, so don’t subject yourself to it. Disengage yourself from their company politely by minimizing contact until a healthy distance can be maintained. You need this time to ponder and reflect on saving and preserving yourself, drawing on the optimism, hope and positive energy you have within.
• There is a primal instinct in each of us to mirror others we’re with. It’s a survival and a social technique. And if that mirror is murky, negative, and lacking in self-esteem, it’s a mirror you need to throw a drape over for the sake of self-protection and moving forward. Remember that you can’t change another person, only yourself, so don’t bog yourself down with excuses about being responsible for them or feeling pity for them. You can only truly help a negative person when you’re no longer influenced by them.
5. Listen selectively when engaging in any conversation. Seek to hold onto the positive and constructive aspects of any conversation. Train your mind to consciously throw out the bad essence of the conversation. It becomes a matter of choosing what it is you wish to dwell on; allow the good side to hold stronger for you and to serve as the thoughts you focus and ponder on. When negative Ned starts getting really trying, return positive energy through positive words or suggestions that are supportive. Doing this creates a space between you; while the other person may be internally struggling to refute to your positive insistence, it is clear to them that you aren’t going to be won over to the dark side!
   • Create a personal signal to remind yourself to keep deflecting the negative conversation and signals beamed at you from a toxic personality. It might be pulling a piece of your hair, digging your thumbnail into your palm, flicking your wrist, tapping your knee, etc. This minor action is a protective mechanism to remind you to consciously note that negativity is being sent your way and to make a conscious effort to refuse it entry into or lodgings in your own thoughts.
   • When dealing with blamers, shift the perspective. While the toxic personality wants another person to take the blame for a situation, stay calm and keep insisting that the problem be solved instead of discussing whose fault it is. Seeking to blame someone keeps things static, and stuck in time, and a solution won’t be found because it has been lost from sight and the blamer doesn’t want to take responsibility for improving their own situation anyway. Stick to the facts and point out what needs to be done to fix a problem. If they become hot-headed or violent, remove yourself from them and allow them the space to calm down.
   • Use empathy and compassion with those who seek to spread fear. Limit your exposure to their fear talk by turning their negative talk back on itself. For example, if they insist that your business venture is going to fail, ask them “Well, what if it doesn’t?”. Help them to see the possibilities rather than endless negatives. And when they really get to you, see their fear as a form of being upset and tell yourself over and over again that this is their reaction, not yours, and that you have the choice to remain grounded and true to your goals.
   • Always remind yourself that negative emotions have a time limit; they do not last, they will soon pass. You do not need to carry the ball of negativity with you beyond the encounter.
6. Develop a beautiful mind. This can be achieved by accepting the reality of things that cannot be changed. Let bygones be where they belong – in the historical archives of repressed memory. If these emotions become too difficult to attain closure, seek help to close this chapter fully and finally. In this way, you won’t allow the negative thoughts to fester and control your present and future self; understanding and learning to accept what has been as a lesson in growth rather than a crystallization of who you in time for all time is the way to break free from negativity. Acceptance forms a great part of this beautiful mind, bringing closure and leaving the mind and body free to achieve a more fruitful and higher quality lifestyle.
• Take up practices that help to ground you. Some things that might help you include meditation, yoga, reflection in nature, martial arts, endurance sports, a hobby that fulfills a passion, etc. Find something that calms and centers you and to which you can retreat when you need to re-energize yourself.
7. Know what your needs and desires are. Take time to decipher what is important to you. Know what your likes and dislikes are and develop some idea of where you would like to see yourself in the future. Write down your plans on paper. Paste it on a wall where you can constantly remind yourself and stay focused. This will also help you when times get tough and you feel the gripping desire to fall back into older negative habits. More importantly, knowing what you want in life acts as a shield to prevent you from taking on board other people’s expectations for you and treating those as your own instead. By all means remain open to hearing what others have to say but don’t be swayed by what doesn’t fit with your needs and desires, or by what stops you from being true to yourself.
8. Stick to your own beliefs and be comfortable with yourself. The doubts, regrets, and misgivings that others feel should be of no consequence to you and the paths you follow in life. It is commonplace to hear such comments as “My parents wanted me to do X, so I did”, or “My spouse wanted to go to X city, so we did” and then to see the speaker behave as if their life were determined by someone else’s choices. Or, there is the perennial “If only I had done things differently, I’d be famous/rich/important by now, but X held me back.” None of these thoughts about the past are helpful to the person you are now; don’t allow other people or their preferences to serve as your excuse for a lack of an internal moral compass and set of beliefs. Your faith and confidence in your own beliefs will get you to where you want to be. Once again, listen if you have to, but do it selectively. Keeping away from people who confuse you is the next very best choice to make – make excuses to stay away.
   • At times, you will need to make compromises with the people close to you or who impact your professional life but do so knowingly and confidently, and not because you feel bludgeoned into making choices by a toxic personality.
9. Find like minded people. As we all know, no person is an island – we humans are social creatures. As time progresses, your entire being will become accustomed to happy and wholesome interactions. What you will discover when you focus on sustaining an optimistic mindset and refusing to dwell on the negativity is that you will attract people with a similar mindset to you. Mingle with company that helps you to develop a healthy body and mind – be with optimistic, upbeat, and happy people. The more time spent with people of this nature, the happier and brighter you will feel. Their nourishing, healthy, and positive attitudes are contagious in a good way and will help you to stay on an even keel. Equally, once you reach the point whereby anything or anyone who disrupts your sense of balance and inner peace starts to irritate you, you know how to politely deflect them, and this confirms that you’re well on your way to a greater and more contented life.
   • Pass it on. Use the inspirational example of the more positive people in your life to guide yourself away from the toxic thought dwellers. In turn, become more like the optimistic people by seeing the best in others and complimenting the good you see in people. Be the source of a “healthy chain of emotions” by remaining upbeat when interacting with others; accept and give compliments with thankfulness, maintain eye contact with them, and smile.
10. Strive to become one with yourself, the environment and your needs. This may be difficult at the onset but given time, the routine of seeing everything as a wonder and finding the good and positive in everyday interactions will eventually fall into place. A calm and collected mind is ingenious and complements productive and sensible thinking.

Tips

• Strive to see the best in everything you do. Once the voices on the inside echo louder than the voices on the outside, then you have achieved a higher level of thinking within yourself.
• It matters not if people think of you as antisocial or arrogant; such terminology is all too easily applied to a person who assertively strikes forth to make a mark in the world and to better themselves. You need to become the most important person in your own life. If their presence brings you undue grief, then you are better off without them or their presence and this is not disloyal or snobbish; remember that toxic people will attempt to make you see it that way so as to drag you back into their toxic worldview but even their judgment of you is wrongheaded and in reality an excuse for their own behavior rather than a level-headed summation of who you are.
• Find one thing a day to be grateful for. Force yourself to do this until it becomes a daily habit you cannot live without. You will discover that it causes negative encounters to move away from your thoughts and will replace these with more harmonious, happy, and productive thoughts.
• By remembering the above steps, your mind and psyche stands on guard against those to knowingly or unknowingly put you down or create misgivings about your own potential and capabilities.

Whenever tempted to complaint or feelings of ‘not enough-ness’, try belly breathing in a resounding “Yes”, followed by a gentle “Thank you” exhale. We always have the very basic ‘gift of the given’ and our job is to make space to find it. Breathing, yoga, meditation, music, sport and intimate communication are exquisite activities to deepen this appreciation. In the end, our real security, our spiritual security, revolves around the simple two word practice, deepened throughout the day.

Related wikiHows

• How to Eliminate Toxic Arguments from Your Relationship
• How to End a Toxic Friendship
• How to Recognize a Toxic Friend
• How to Be Less Clingy
• How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship
• How to Deal With a Manipulative Person

Sources and Citations

• Bo Forbes, Protect your mood, pp. 78-81, in Body+Soul, August 2007 – research source

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Save Yourself from Toxic People. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

empowerment · personal development · personal growth · self-esteem · self-help · self-improvement · self-worth

Jeff and I visited the Grand Canyon again, recently. On this trip, we hiked the last three-mile section of the rim trail that we hadn’t done before. It took us four trips to complete the thirteen miles of trail. This accomplished a goal I set over twenty years ago.

Even though I’d wanted to hike that trail, until a little over a year ago, I hadn’t made any plans or taken any action. You can have a desire or a goal, but unless you decide to do it, nothing will happen. Your inner mind won’t consider that you really want it unless you start taking some steps in that direction.

Whenever we had an opportunity to visit the National Park, we arranged to go. It’s a day trip for us, including about six hours of driving, hours of walking and Jeff taking photographs. Because of that, we set aside two days. One day to spend on the trip and one to recover at home.

I could have just enjoyed the scenery on our first visit and not returned, but I had a goal. So we decided to take advantage of every chance we had to visit the Canyon. Because of this, I was able to achieve my goal in just over a year.

Before each trip, we planned which part of the trail we’d hike next. We also checked the weather, and made sure we carried enough water, snacks, and the right kinds of clothes (jackets and gloves for winter, neck coolers and hats for summer).

A goal is only as good as its plan. Then you have to work the plan. The opportunity for me to fulfill my goal came up unexpectedly. But once it did, I took advantage of it. I planned for it and worked the plan. You can accomplish your desires in the same way.

believe · goals · inspiration · intention · motivation