Check Your Preconceptions at the Door
So often, we get upset over the way a stranger behaves towards us. We let the situation disturb our equilibrium and ruin our day. Why waste your time on what’s probably a momentary event? Instead, try this mindset shift so these kinds of encounters don’t affect you so much. Watch Check Your Preconceptions at the Door.
Have you ever walked up to a frowning, grumpy grocery checker, and thought they’re upset with you? Or maybe, you got offended, thinking they should be more pleasant. If so, you’re not alone. But you don’t know what’s going on with them or why they’re unhappy. Their feet could be hurting, their child may be sick or they’re angry about the fight they had with the boss.
None of it has anything to do with you. They’re concerned with what’s going on with their life, and doing the best they can to deal with it. But, because we all filter life through our own thoughts and perspectives, what we perceive may not have any relation to what’s really going on. But your thoughts about the situation disturb you, and they don’t have to.
Why waste your energy on a situation that’s momentary? For instance, the guy who cut you off in traffic may be late for an important medical appointment. Why let him ruin your morning?
I’m Linda-Ann Stewart, and I’m a focus coach and hypnotherapist. I’d like to share a tip help you shift your viewpoint in distressing situations you encounter so they don’t affect you so much.
To break that pattern of negative perceptions, one of the things you can do is to make it a habit to question them. Feelings aren’t facts. They’re signals that something may be off or different, but that’s all. What you’re feeling about a situation may not reflect what’s really going on. Feelings are how you’re judging the situation, through your beliefs and past experiences. But those beliefs and experiences may not relate to the current conditions.
So dispute your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about a person’s behavior. Ask yourself if your feelings are actually real or true, or if there could be another reason for the way the person is acting. Consider how there might be another explanation for what’s happening, one that has nothing to do with you.
It really doesn’t matter if you find the actual reason for the other person’s behavior. The point is to not take it personally and realize that other things may be going on that you have no way of knowing. And there’s no reason why you should feel upset about something that’s transitory.
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Read the complementary article, What Are You Expecting?
~ Linda-Ann Stewart