Within a few moments, you assess whether someone is authentic or not. But the first impression you get of someone could be misleading, and it’s hard to overcome. It’s human nature to want your assessment to be proved right. But not paying attention to signals that contradict your impression can lead to heartache.

Transcript:

Thank you for joining me. I’m Linda-Ann Stewart and I’d like to share a tip about first impressions and how they can be misleading.

Recently, I listened to a podcast interview of a business coach. From his description and promotional materials, I was already inclined to like him. But as he spoke, I felt there was something off. His actions didn’t line up with what he said his values were. As a result, I didn’t trust him.

Have you ever felt that way about someone? That they weren’t really authentic? You’re able to tell when someone is authentic or inauthentic within a few seconds. Your subconscious mind assesses body language, tonality, verbiage, etc. and decides whether a person is trustworthy or not. It’s good to trust your intuition about people.

But sometimes, your intuition can lead you astray. If you decide you like someone, your mind creates a filter and only recognizes the statements, actions and ideas that confirm your assessment. That’s how first impressions can be misleading, and they can be difficult to change.

Even if that person does things that are in direct opposition to your impression of them, your mind will discard the things that contradict your feelings. This is how you get fooled by people who then take advantage of you. It’s hard to accept, isn’t it? It was for me.

It’s human nature to not want your assessment to be proved wrong. For instance, if that person frequently tells you that they have your back, despite evidence to the contrary, you’ll believe what they say. For awhile. But eventually, the truth will out. You’ll begin to compare their words to their deeds. You’ll recognize that their words and deeds aren’t consistent. It’s challenging your first impression, and you’ll eventually change it.

Emerson said, “What you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” The tip today is after your first impression of someone, watch to see if their actions are in alignment with what they say. Don’t just accept your intuition. Look to confirm or contradict it. Doing this helps to fine tune your instincts and your intuition. It will help it be more reliable.

Now, it takes some effort to pay attention, certainly more than just going with your first impression. But the effort is worth it, because it will save you from being taken advantage of at some point. It will save you heartache. I know this from personal experience.

I learned to do this from many, many bad experiences where I was fooled by what a person said. Despite their behaviors that denied what they said, I believed their words. Eventually, I figured out that I needed to evaluate their actions and compare them to what they said. It was a hard lesson.

If I’d gone by first impressions with this business coach, I would have been fooled by him. But because of what I’d learned, I was able to recognize that he wasn’t the person he wanted people to believe he was. How can you start doing this for yourself?

If you’d to achieve a 90-day goal more easily, download my free comprehensive Strategic Vision blueprint at www. Linda-AnnStewart.com/setyourcourse.html. You’ll receive the blueprint, as well as tips and directions to support you in accomplishing your goal. Thank you for watching. My wish for you is to listen to your intuition, while you also pay  attention to what a person does. Take care.