Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Bitter Legacy of Intimate Wounds by Beverly Flanigan, M.S.S.W.

If you’ve ever been hurt by someone close to you, past or present, and need some help in dealing with it and getting to forgiveness, this book is for you. Not only does the author walk you through the journey of recognizing and acknowledging the injury, assigning responsibility, and describing the steps a person goes through along the way, but she also includes many exercises and tools to handle all of these phases.

When we’re wounded by someone close to us in a way that betrays the foundation of the relationship, then we feel like our world has been turned upside down. It forces us to re-evaluate our beliefs, and who we are. Our sense of stability and safety has been violated. To be able to heal from this, we have to examine the injury and its consequences.

As spiritual people, many of us believe that we have to take responsibility for everything that happens to us. That’s true to a certain extent. But we can’t control another person’s feelings and actions. So we need to assign responsibility to who actually, consciously and with intent, harmed us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pardoning the other person. It’s letting go of the anger, empowering ourselves to move on, and recognizing that the wound has changed who we are. We set them free and ourselves free.

Forgiveness is a process of healing, not an eraser of hurt. This comprehensive book explains how to move through that process successfully and grow from it.

~ Linda-Ann Stewart