by Linda-Ann Stewart
When I was young, I was given the message that I had to sacrifice those parts of me that made others uncomfortable. If I was talented, and it made another envious, I was supposed to hide my talent, otherwise I was accused of being “selfish.” At one point, I felt bad for making good grades because I somehow thought I was taking a good grade away from someone else. Many people are like me and have been told they were being selfish, when they were only being true to themselves.
In many cases, the definition of “selfish” has been perverted. If you say “no” to participating in an activity that would overextend you, you might be called “selfish” because it inconveniences the person who asks you. You can always consider your needs against what other people want from you, then decide the most appropriate action to take.
True selfishness is when you disregard the welfare of others. It doesn’t mean that you must ignore your own welfare to please someone else. But the term may have been twisted to become a club to manipulate you.
There is such a thing as healthy selfishness. That’s when you concern yourself with your well being. You’re not taking anything from anyone else, you’re just attending to your needs. Remember that everyone else has the same Universal power that you do to manifest what they want. They don’t need to take what is yours, whether it’s time or resources, to achieve their goal. Nor do you need anything of anyone else’s.
This isn’t a carte blanche to ignore the needs of others. But be aware that some people will have their own agenda when they put their desires ahead of your basic needs. You have a right to your needs and to express the Spirit within you. One of life’s lessons is to learn to honor yourself first.
I honor myself. I recognize when someone tries to manipulate me, and take appropriate actions to take care of my well being. Everyone has the same connection to Universal power that I do, and can take care of their own needs. I have a right to be here. My welfare is as important as anyone else’s.