Question: How do I balance my natural desire to help someone with my aversion to tolerating discourteous behavior from them?

Answer: I understand the conflict between wanting to help, and having that help rejected and stomped on. You can’t force someone to accept help. You can only offer it, and if it’s rejected, move on. There is no reason why you should put up with unacceptable behavior from other people.

That behavior shows their disrespect of you, others and themselves. We tend to train others how to treat us, so if you set boundaries and stick to them, people will learn what you’ll accept and what you won’t.

Sometimes the best way you can help others is not to help them, and to let them get bumped around. It’s really hard for those of us with natural inclinations to help, but that’s part of our lesson, too. To learn what kind of help others truly need.

Copyright 2004, 2013 Linda Ann Stewart
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