by Linda-Ann Stewart
Hallie prided herself on holding grudges. She never forgave anyone for any real or imagined slight. Once someone had offended her, she’d cut them out of her life. This attitude caused her to be exhausted, and negatively affected her health and her relationships.
Anger is a survival instinct that lets you know that some right has been violated. When you get angry with someone, it provides protection so that the other person will think twice about acting like that again. Once the situation has been dealt with, it has fulfilled its purpose and anger fades away.
However, if you continue to hold onto your anger, like Hallie, you’re trying to protect yourself against a threat that no longer exists. Anger then twists into hostility, a bubbling cauldron of antagonism. Studies have shown that hostility depresses the immune system and harms cardiovascular function.
Antagonism ties up energy that could be used for something productive. This affects you physically with increased stress, tense muscles, an upset stomach, and shallow breathing. It also ruins relationships and contributes to the self-destructive habits of smoking, drinking, overeating, and others.
Anger is energy. As long as it’s moving and released, it can actually help make constructive changes. But if it gets stuck, it turns to hostility and becomes a black hole that sucks in more energy. “Energy flows where attention goes.” When you’re focused on holding onto anger, it diverts energy from manifesting good. The Law of Attraction causes it to draw more disharmony and frustration to you.
When you’re angry, your mind functions at much less than your normal potential. Chronic anger greatly reduces your ability to think, make decisions and tap into creativity.
If you hold a grudge, like Hallie, you’re trying to control a situation that’s in the past. It’s a reaction against feeling helpless, but it keeps you in a victim cycle. You’re letting the past rule how you feel and act. You might think it makes you stronger and more powerful than the other person. Instead, you’ve just handed control of your emotions over to them.
They may no longer even think of you, but they’re still very much a part of your thoughts. Maybe you’re trying to punish them. But you’re not hurting them at all. The only person it’s harming is you. You may think that you’re protecting yourself, but you’re actually keeping yourself immobile, unable to learn from a situation and move forward.
As long as you continue to be angry, you’re holding that person and situation to you like glue. The relationship or situation isn’t over for you. Every time you think of it, your subconscious thinks it’s happening all over again and it revs up your anger all over again.
Copyright 2012 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved