Recently, I had a close friend in the hospital in CCU. For a while, it was one step forward and two back. Finally, she’s been released from the hospital and improving. It was a scary time for all of us who care for her. I know that, selfishly, I’m not ready for her to leave. I value her insight and humor, and don’t want to lose that.

When we mourn, we grieve for ourselves, and for what is no longer present for us. It’s like when a friend moves across the country for great new opportunity, a new job, or to get married. We can be happy for them, but sad that they’re not going to be as present in our lives. Sure, we can email, visit, or have phone conversations, but still, the relationship has completely changed.

It was brought home to me, again, to spend time with loved ones, enjoy them, and make sure you let them know what they mean to you. For once they’re gone, either across the country or on the final grand adventure, your opportunity is gone, too.

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Question: Can I use affirmations for different issues in the same day?

Answer: I’d suggest that unless the affirmations are for the same issue you not use them the same day. It’s not so much that it would confuse your subconscious as it would overload it if they’re on different issues. Imagine you’re having to work on several different projects at the same time. You’d feel overwhelmed and wouldn’t get any of them done quickly. It would take much more time to get them all done, taking more time than if you’d done each separately.

inspiration

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Earlier this month, Jeff and I attended a luncheon in Phoenix for the Arizona Chapter of the National Speaker’s Association. It was great fun to catch up with some of my friends there, so soon after the national convention. We discussed some of what we’d learned, how we were using that knowledge and projects we were working on. In the photo with me are Gilat Ben-Dor of RenaissanceWineAcademy.com and Richard Victor of 401kSeminar.com.

Jeff and I had an exciting experience as we started that day. After we left home, and before we reached the freeway, the car driving in front of us was weaving all over the two-lane road. It would swerve halfway into the opposite lane, with traffic approaching, and would barely have time to return to our lane before there was an accident. Then it would veer onto the shoulder for awhile. After several miles of this, we called 911 to report the danger. We don’t know the ending, because when we merged onto the freeway, we left the drama behind and took a deep breath of relief.

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by Robert Middleton

I’ve spoken about shifting paradigms in this eZine before. These days this is the main thing I’m thinking about – both as it relates to my life and to my marketing and business.

We’re seeing a lot of change these days, but a paradigm shift isn’t just about change. Change is the end result of a paradigm shift. A real paradigm shift is about transformation.

Change is about doing things differently; transformation is about thinking and perceiving differently. Change results in different methods and different technology. Transformation results in different attitudes and different mindsets.

Change rarely leads to transformation, but transformation always leads to change. That is, all real paradigm shifts start with the way we think, what we believe, and our underlying assumptions.

And so it is with marketing our businesses. We think that a paradigm shift in marketing would mean things like the Internet, smart phones, blogging and social media.

And if these changes, these new tools help us grow our business, that’s fine, but it’s no big deal. There will always be new tools that change the way the game is played.

“The more things change, the more they remain the same.”

But transformation happens in the mind and in the heart.

That’s the paradigm shift that really counts. And if you don’t have a paradigm shift or transformation in your marketing, you’ll be caught in the same old struggles as before. Your business will be stagnant and your efforts will yield meager results.

What would this transformation look like?

Something I used to say at the beginning of talks was, “Does anybody here wake up in the morning, excited and enthusiastic about connecting with total strangers about what you have to offer in your business?”

I didn’t get a lot of hands!

But THAT is what transformation would look like.

You’d have no fear, you’d be excited about getting the word out.  You’d find the time and you’d take the risks. You wouldn’t be obsessively concerned about being rejected or making mistakes; you’d be fascinated about how to communicate your value in ways that got your prospects’ attention.

This would be a paradigm shift from “dreaded activity” to  “exciting adventure.”  It would feel like a fun and challenging game, not a distasteful chore.

And with that transformed mindset, you’d find all kinds of ways to do things differently. You’d embrace change, adopt technology, and apply new strategies and techniques. And your marketing would take off in unexpected, exciting directions.

You’d actually apply all those marketing techniques and strategies I’ve been talking about for the past 25 years! There’s nothing really hard about these techniques and strategies. But your mindsets MAKE them hard.

It’s not just one mindset you want to transform. In working with clients over the past few years I’ve identified these FIVE that give us the most trouble:

Fear – perfectionism – scarcity – overwhelm – impatience

And they manifest in these ways and more:

Fear – “I’ll be rejected, I’ll do it wrong, I’ll be ridiculed.”

Perfectionism – “I can’t start until I know exactly what to do.”

Scarcity – “I don’t have enough time or money or skills or…”

Overwhelm – “There’s so much to do, I don’t know where to start.”

Impatience – “I want it now, and I want things to be different.”

Transforming these isn’t that hard. In fact, like everything else, it’s easy if you know how. What would your business, your marketing, your life be like on the other side of these five mindsets?

Copyright 2009 Robert Middleton
All Rights Reserved

By Robert Middleton of Action Plan Marketing. Please visit Robert’s web site at www.actionplan.com for additional marketing articles and resources on marketing for professional service businesses.

personal development, motivation, productivity

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Question: Why is it so difficult to forgive oneself? I feel that I have forgiven my parents, friends, lovers,  everyone, and I still don’t allow myself off the hook?

Answer: I think it’s so hard to forgive oneself because we’ve accepted the critical judgements of others about ourselves. Someone in childhood, or the past, might have said “shame on you” and we believed them. Also, if we continue to punish ourselves with unforgiveness, it may prevent someone else from criticizing us or abandoning us.

Many people who have a hard time forgiving themselves have also been made to feel responsible for other people’s happiness. They’ve learned to take the blame for whatever happened, to anyone. A client of mine felt responsible if there was an accident outside her building. She felt that somehow she should have been able to prevent it.

I think that the reason a person can forgive others and not themselves is that some part of them knows that the standards they judge themselves by are impossible to live up to. Therefore they can release anger at others who haven’t been able to fulfill that unrealistic code of conduct. But they can’t grant themselves the same compassion.

All unforgiveness is a continual self-punishment because we didn’t live up to someone’s expectations, generally someone else’s. Somehow, a part of us feels that if we don’t forgive ourselves, then we won’t do the “bad” thing again. It’s an unhealthy guilt/shame, and it’s there because we have felt less than worthy most of our lives.

self help, personal growth, personal development

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by Linda-Ann Stewart

“There is nothing permanent except change,” said Heraclitus, the Greek philosoper. Nothing ever stays the same. If it did, you’d stagnate spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Relationships would become boring, business would never grow, spiritual evolution would halt. Without some drive to progress, you’d still be getting around by horse and buggy.

When things are stable, you tend to get in a groove. It’s natural to want things to stay the same. However, if you don’t try new things, it’s the nature of Life to shake things up to get your to expand. You’d experience a difficult business climate (like now), economic upheaval, bumps in your relationships, challenges in your personal life. This is to make sure you don’t get into a rut, hoping you can just hang on to what you have.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten. The Universe is like a river, with a strong current flowing, propelling you to advance. When you ride the current, cooperating with it, you can steer around the rocks and choose your destination. But, if you try to stay in one place, hanging onto a branch, eventually you’ll lose your grip and be dragged by the current. With no control, you’ll get banged up on the rocks and have to go wherever the river takes you.

I’ve heard many people say that, “I’m not going to participate in the recession,” which is a noble and optimistic attitude. However, economic transformations, as well as any other crisis, requires that you pay attention to their message. You need to recognize and acknowledge that your economy is changing, and decide how you’re going to adjust.

If you don’t, and keep on doing business the way you’ve always done, then you’re trying to stay in the same place while the rest of the world changes to meet the new needs. You have to discover fresh, new ways to stay ahead of the wave. Shakeups make you more creative. “Necessity is the mother of invention,” and when it’s necessary to make changes, you dig deep within and engage more resources.

To take advantage of the opportunity that lies in any difficult time:

1. Be willing to let go of your old patterns, beliefs, attitudes and ways of being. They no longer serve you. Start asking yourself, “What do I need to change to triumph over this?”

2. Be willing to think positively about the challenge. Not resisting the change will give you more energy, creativity and resources to create something better from it. Ask yourself, “What is the message or lesson in this for me?”

3. Be open to the idea that this change will somehow be beneficial. This engages the resourcefulness of your subconscious mind to manifest something wonderful. Affirm “Something good is going to come out of this for me, even though I don’t know right now what it could be.”

When you willingly participate with the Universe when It forces change upon you, you  receive a bounty of good from it. Many people look back and state, “It was the best thing that could have happened to me.” It may not be easy, comfortable or even gentle, but change is the nature of the Universe. Embrace change to find the blessing that it brings.

Affirmation

The Universe is change and I am willing to embrace it when it comes into my life. Even though I may not be able to see the benefit or advantage in changing, I know that the Universe has my best interests at heart. Everything takes place in Divine Order for my Highest Good. Only good can come from it for me, and I am guided in my decisions, and the best direction to go.

Copyright 2009 Linda-Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

If you’d like to use this article in your ezine, blog, forum or website, please include this information with it:

“A nationally known hypnotherapist, writer, speaker and life coach, Linda-Ann Stewart helps people rediscover their power and sense of self-worth. For a copy of her free book, “Secrets To The Law Of Attraction,” visit www.Cedarfire.com/secretstoloa.shtml ”

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development, motivation, inspiration

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The Science Of Mind: A Philosophy, A Faith, A Way Of Life
by Ernest Holmes

If I were going to be marooned on a desert island, and was given the choice of taking only one book, this is the one I’d choose. It’s a classic in metaphysical literature, and is for those who are ready to take responsibility for the co-creation of their lives. This book teaches you who you are, and your relationship to the Universe. A comprehensive text, it’s packed full of techniques to “change your mind and change your life.”

The writing is simple and clear, but very deep. When I first read it thirty plus years ago, I had to get used to the way Dr. Holmes wrote. There was so much to think about in every paragraph, that I’d have to read a few sentences, put it down to digest them, then pick it up and read on. As a result, it permeated my mind, and changed the way I responded to life.

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