Tools For Your Mind, Soul and Spirit

I’m beginning my last series of classes for the county’s Tobacco-Cessation program. Our state has cut all funding for county tobacco cessation, prevention and education programs. Not only do I regret that I won’t be facilitating these classes anymore, but I’m upset that people who want to quit smoking now will only have a toll free number to call for coaching. Although phone coaching is certainly helpful, face-to-face contact and discussing the situation with people who are going through the same thing is incredibly important.

It’s interesting that this has resulted during a period when I’ve been focused on things being easy. And many of the situations in my life have unfolded without any effort whatsoever. I choose to conclude that something better is in the wings, and the stage is being cleared for it.

self help

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Have you been wanting a change in your life, but keep getting blocked or falling back into an old pattern? That’s where your conscious and subconscious intentions are in conflict. The goal of the subconscious is to keep you safe. It will continue to act on the old imprint until a stronger decision is made, one that assures it that you will be okay going in the new direction.

Frequently, a smoker visits a hypnotherapist as a last resort to quit smoking. Or so they think. Actually, their true intention may be to continue the habit. By claiming that this is their last chance, when they fail to achieve their goal, they’re able to rationalize continuing to smoke by telling themselves that, “I’ve tried everything.”

Unfortunately, a person’s conscious choice isn’t always their true intention. You can see if it is by the actions they take, the words they use about it, and how much energy they put into their goal. If they’re not truly committed to it, they’ll want someone else to do most of the work, hold back on how much they’ll put towards it, or be negative about it.

This happens when the subconscious has its own intention or agenda. Sometime in the past, the subconscious was instructed to start a pattern or limit an expression or talent. Depending on the force of the decision, whether it was created by a sudden belief in a difficult situation or helped the person cope, it could mean that the subconscious will undermine any efforts to change the original choice.

For instance, a person might have the conscious intention to reduce weight, but the subconscious will sabotage it to continue following its original orders to use food to suppress feelings, create protection in the form of fat, or be like a loving parent or grandparent.

To convince the subconscious, the conscious mind must make a choice and follow through on that path to show that all is well and that it really means business. The conscious also has to communicate that this new idea is sound and appropriate in the present and that the old conditions no longer apply.

Identify Your Subconscious Intention

To identify the old messages about your new choice, become aware of the beliefs you have around it, the things you tell yourself about it, the resistance you may have towards changing. Spend a few days just writing them down. Then review them and see what seems to be the most common issue. Write it on one side of a piece of paper, and answer it with a more realistic statement. Such as, “I’ve always been a failure.” Respond with something like, “I haven’t achieved all that I have attempted, but I have succeeded in many areas.” You can then translate these positive statements into an affirmation.

Ways To Give The Subconscious A New Direction

1. Affirmations are one of the best ways to reprogram the subconscious mind. You’re using the conscious mind to tell the inner mind the direction you want to go. Make sure you feel the reality of the statement. Emotions power affirmations and make them manifest quickly.
2. Take some actions to ground the statements. This impresses the subconscious with the knowledge that you’re serious and that it’s safe to make the change.
3. Use your affirmation in meditation or self-hypnosis. This directly contacts the subconscious to give it new information.
4. Visualize the end result of your goal, as if it’s already accomplished.
5. Create a treasure map, prayer wheel, or wheel of fortune by cutting out pictures of what you want and looking at them several times a day. For instructions, read Creating A Treasure Map To Achieve Your Goals.
6. Use classes to help motivate you toward your goal. Your commitment to healing is more important than any technique you use.

These tools will help to bring the subconscious in line with your conscious intention. Use them whenever you hear the old messages. At the beginning, you’ll have to be hyper aware of what you’re thinking and immediately substitute your new belief. Soon your subconscious and conscious mind’s goals will be in agreement and you’ll discover improvements manifesting in your life.

Affirmation

I am now aware of outdated goals from my inner mind that conflict with my present day desire. I release any old limitations or restrictions because they don’t serve me anymore. The Universe completely supports my current intention to improve my life. I am guided as to what I need to do to manifest my conscious intention. My thoughts, beliefs and attitudes are now aligned with my conscious aim.

Copyright 2008 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development

I’ve been seeing anti-drug ads and programs on the television that state how kids get high from drugs in their parents medicine cabinets. The ad writers, news commentators, and dramatic programs are acting like they’ve just discovered this new teen misbehavior. This puzzles and surprises me, because when I was a teenager, my classmates were stealing Valium, painkillers, and more from their parents’ medicine bottles. Just as they were dipping into their folks’ booze. Why is this activity just coming into the collective consciousness of the public? Everyone knew about it (harrumph) years ago. Did it just get forgotten or swept under the rug with the “Just say no” campaign which focused on illegal drugs?

I’m seeing more and more of this type of recycling of material. Fashions are reflecting the 1960’s, television and movies are remaking programs from that era, some of the attitudes about sex education in schools have returned to the 1950’s. No sex education in schools (or abstinence only) didn’t prevent girls from getting pregnant. Actually, since there was no information on how to prevent it, the incidence of pregnancy was higher than it was when sex education was taught in schools.

Even in families, I hear the same complaints from children that I heard from their parents, or vice versa. As a kid, a friend of mine complained that her folks cared more about how other people thought about them than they did about her well-being. When she became a parent, and had a troubled teen, she said that she was concerned about how it was going to affect her standing in the community.

They say that, “Unless we learn from history, we’re doomed to repeat it.” I guess we haven’t really learned much, from our mistakes or successes. Each generation has to try to re-create the wheel, as if it’s the very first time it’s been discovered. And in doing so, they travel the same roads and hit the same bumps. This seems to be true on a cultural, societal, generational, and even individual level. But to learn from our history, we have to be willing to examine it, and to take a new road.

self improvement, self help, personal growth, personal development, inspiration

In a study published September 2007 in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, women who underwent hypnosis before their surgery for breast cancer experienced less pain, fatigue and nausea afterwards. A hypnosis session of only fifteen minutes long resulted in these improvements. Not only that, but the cost of the surgery was less because these women spent less time in the operating room.

From my experience with clients, hypnosis can also significantly decrease healing time. Some clients I’ve worked with have healed much, much faster than expected. Not to mention the reduction of discomfort, pain, anxiety, and fear they feel. Because of all this, I would recommend hypnosis for anyone who plans to undergo surgery.

self-improvement

by Linda-Ann Stewart

Sandy always prayed, “God’s will be done. Not my will but thine.” She felt she shouldn’t dictate what she wanted, but accept whatever God gave her as that would be what God decided that she needed. Unfortunately, she encountered all sorts of difficulties in her life. Her teenager got into trouble, she had financial reversals, loss of investments and her business failed.

Each time, she believed that it was what God wanted for her and she was supposed to learn from these calamities. She didn’t consider that when she prayed for God’s will that it filtered through her current beliefs, attitudes and expectations. And instead of changing them, and raising her consciousness to accept more, she passively resigned herself to whatever the Universe dumped into her life.

Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” When we try to solve a current problem without changing the thinking that created it, we simply compound it. Even when we hand our troubles over to the Universe, if we don’t change our beliefs about them, then we’ll experience more of the same.

There’s another old saying, “God can only do for you what It can do through you.” The subconscious creates a mold of our thoughts and acts on our dominant thought. The subconscious is the interface between our conscious mind, our lives, and the Universe. So whatever good the Infinite wants for us has to be filtered through our current beliefs and attitudes. If we’re having a feeling of lack, and pray for God’s will, then all the Universe can give us is more of what we expect.

In this context, “will” means choice, desire, decision, intention, purpose, determination, or decree. Since the Universe is love and all good, then God’s choice, desire, or intention for us is truly to have abundance, health, joy, harmony, and all the good things that we can envision. When we will, decree or affirm a specific desire, God wants us to have something even greater than our wish, but we receive only what we can expect and accept.

However, as long as we’re holding onto an old thought pattern, which is the cause of our troubles, there can’t be a healing or transformation. We can’t experience abundance when we’re thinking of lack. Praying for God’s will doesn’t mean that we resign ourselves to whatever happens, but is an affirmation of knowing that God is willing us to have much more than we can even imagine.

The point of praying for God’s will is to surrender to something greater than we are. Surrendering to a better possibility is important for a more abundant outcome. We have to release control of how we think it should work out and release the fear that we’re going to be given something undesirable. That’s why the prayer says, “Not my will, but thine.” The whole idea is to trust that a Power and Presence that wants the best for us knows what will heal the problem better than we ever could.

We may not receive what we want, because what we want isn’t going to be best for us. For instance, a friend of mine was convinced that a particular job would be her heart’s desire. Instead of affirming that “Divine right action takes place for my Highest Good,” which is another way of accepting God’s will, she focused on that single position as her goal. She got it, and within three months was miserable. It wasn’t what she’d been led to believe it was going to be and it was considerably more stressful than she’d expected.

When you’ve reached your wits end about a situation, imagine what could be the best possible outcome in your mind. Realize that the Universe has something even better for you. Raise your consciousness above the problem and think of it as completely resolved. Consider what thought, belief or attitude you need to change to heal the situation. Then let go of the issue and let God’s will be done for you, knowing that it will exceed your expectations. And if you don’t get what it is that you wanted (from your limited perspective) then know that, for some reason, what you did receive was better for you than what you originally asked for. The Universe has a greater point of view than you do and knows what will best fulfill your needs.

Affirmation

I now recognize the idea that brought about the less desirable situation I’m experiencing. As I change that belief, raising my thoughts to something greater, I now affirm that the best possible outcome is being found. I may not know what that might be, but it’s not my responsibility to figure that out. I let the Universe handle the details in resolving it for my Highest Good. God’s will is done, for the best good of all concerned.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement

In a new study by researchers from North Shore Medical Center and Massachusetts General Hospital, hypnosis was found to be effective in about 50% of the patients who used it. They took patients with a cardiopulmonary diagnosis and who wanted to quit and divided them into four groups. The control group quit smoking cold turkey, without any assistance, a second group chose hypnotherapy, a third group used Nicotine Replacement Therapy (patch, gum, or lozenges), and a fourth group chose hypnotherapy and Nicotine Replacement Therapy.

After six months, 50% of the groups who chose hypnotherapy alone and hypnotherapy with Nicotine Replacement Therapy remained tobacco-free. Using the Nicotine Replacement Therapy didn’t improve the success of the hypnotherapy. 25% of the control group and 15.7% of the Nicotine Replacement Therapy group were still quit.

The study was presented at Chest 2007, October 22, 2007, at the 73rd annual international scientific assembly of the American College of Chest Physicians. For more information on this study, visit Science Daily

As a hypnotherapist, I have many people call and say, “I want hypnosis to make me stop smoking.” I tell them, “Hypnosis won’t make you quit, but it will make the quitting process much easier.” A person has to be motivated to quit smoking, and use hypnosis as a process to reduce stress, change the way they think about smoking, and reduce the cravings. It won’t make the urges go completely away, or make the desire to smoke disappear, but it will make the process much easier. It can also help develop new coping strategies.

In my practice, I’ve seen near-miracles occur when someone is determined to quit. And I’ve seen a client quit easily, just to begin again in a few months because they thought they could smoke just one puff or because they hoped that the lure of smoking would be gone forever. It’s a process of learning new skills and dedication to one’s health and well being. But, in my experience, hypnosis is incredibly effective for someone who is committed to quitting smoking.

by Linda-Ann Stewart

One of my early spiritual teachers told me not to “should” on myself so much. If I wasn’t as polite to someone who was rude to me like I “should” be, I felt guilty. Or when I loaned out my comic books like I “should” and they returned to me in tatters, I felt resentful. I’d heard so much about what I should and shouldn’t do, from family, society, friends, and teachers. Their priorities became my priorities, even though we were completely different and had different lifestyles.

Trying to live up to all the “should’s” and “ought to’s” was impossible, especially since many times the advice was contradictory. When I was focusing on the “should’s,” it meant that my subconscious was attracting more “should’s,” which created more anxiety, guilt and resentment. It became a vicious cycle.

When we “should” on ourselves, we’re imposing someone else’s values on our own. We think that if we tell ourselves what we should do, this will whip us into shape and we’ll act right. But it doesn’t work. The internal pressure generally causes us to continue the undesired behavior. Like when we’re on a diet, eat a cookie, feel guilty, and decide since we’ve already fallen off the diet, we’ll just eat the whole package. When other people force too many “should’s” on us, rebellion usually develops. We may feel in control when we act counter to what someone tells us, but many times we actually sabotage ourselves.

How can you tell if you’re operating on outdated values or standards that don’t fit you? First, identify when you feel guilty or resentful, and what’s causing the feeling. Are you following a rule that you accepted long ago and have continued to act on unconsciously, such as spending all your free time on the weekend cleaning your house from top to bottom? Ask yourself what you would really like to do in that situation. What directive would better fit you and your lifestyle? Maybe you would feel better if you decided to scrub the inside of your refrigerator once a month, rather than each week.

Is someone demanding time and energy from you that’s just too draining? If you’re having to sacrifice your well being or peace of mind for others, then your boundaries are being violated or you’re being taken advantage of. Remember that consideration for others needs to be balanced with a consideration for yourself and learning to say “no” is important. Your needs and desires are every bit as important as anyone else’s.

Become aware of when you tell yourself “I should” or “I ought to.” Write down what you have said to yourself, and why you need to follow that rule. Put down everything that comes to mind about the issue and what would happen if you didn’t follow through. If the reasons to do it make sense to you, or are important, then it’s probably appropriate. For example: “I should wash the dishes.” If you don’t, “I won’t have clean dishes.” Is this important to you? To clarify how you feel about something, ask yourself, “What do I think about this?” This will help to define how a standard can reflect what works for you versus what’s actually working for others.

Notice whenever you use the words, “always” or “never.” For instance, “I should always give to the less fortunate.” This a great value to have, but only if you’re taking care of yourself. If you give so much that you don’t have enough to pay your rent or groceries, then you’re going too far. Make sure you don’t make yourself one of the “less fortunate.” Whenever there’s a word that blankets every possible experience, then it’s probably a standard that’s impossible to live up to. And trying to live up to it will simply create frustration, guilt and resentment.

When you begin to create your own standards and establish them, some people may object. You’ve been catering to them for a long time, and they’re not going to like that you’re not doing what they want you to do. Be courteous, but firm. If someone becomes verbally abusive by berating you, putting you down or discounting you, then be civil and break off that contact. No amount of explanation or dialogue is going to make them accept your new direction at that time.

Many times, the “should’s” we repeat to ourselves are standards that someone else has decided are important. But they may be as outdated as a Model-T Ford. Maybe they were appropriate to give us guidelines when we were children, but are no longer necessary now that we’re grown up. As adults, we have a right to develop values that support our self-respect, well being, and reflect who we are.

Affirmation

Because I’m an individualized expression of the Universe, with wisdom, understanding, and principles of my own, I have everything I need to be able to identify and release old, outdated rules that don’t serve me any longer. I have a right to develop standards and values that give me a sense of peace and well being. When I feel guilty, resentful, or anxious, these are signals to let me know that I’m violating my own inner being by trying to fit myself into someone else’s mold or am being taken advantage of. I give myself permission to change my standards and stand firm in my new ones. The Universe completely supports me in this.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement

I’ve lived in the New Age Mecca, Sedona, Arizona for twenty-five years. I’ve seen and experienced all sorts of interesting, fantastic and downright odd things. However, today on my walk, I saw something that I haven’t seen before and was a bit bizarre. Jeff and I walked down to Red Rock Crossing / Crescent Moon Ranch Park and continued up Oak Creek to a flat slab of red rock where many people go to take photos of Cathedral Rock. At the far end of the slab, we saw several people, in their birthday suits (nude), facing and honoring the setting sun. There they were, in all their glory, under one of the most photographed sentinels in this area, exposing themselves to the sun and any visitors who meandered down there. Welcome to Sedona.

Photograph Copyright 2007 Jeff Colburn

by Linda-Ann Stewart

I had a friend who learned Transcendental Meditation and practiced almost every day. She felt happier, more relaxed, even blissful as long as she meditated. If she missed a few days, she found that she didn’t feel much different than before she began to meditate. Although she felt better when she meditated, it wasn’t solving her underlying problems.

I’ve known many people who’ve used spirituality and meditation as a way of avoiding dealing with their issues. Since they feel good when they’re pursuing a spiritual path, guru, or new technique, they think that will make all the uncomfortable stuff dissolve and go away. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Spirituality is no more a magic bullet than anything else.

According to Lawrence LeShan, a psychotherapist, meditation teacher and author of “How To Meditate,” meditation can help strengthen the structure of our personality, making us better able to deal with our challenges. And it may give us more insight into our issues, but meditation doesn’t do away with them. It may reduce overall anxiety, make us feel safe, therefore better able to face ourselves, but we still need to do the internal work needed to bring about change.

Anything that allows us to feel bliss and euphoria, whether it’s drugs, lust, romatic love, alcohol, achievement, spirituality or meditation, can become addicting. We become enthralled to the feeling and want to repeat it as often as possible. It makes the bad feelings fade away. Spirituality is a healthier escape than any of the others, but it still can be an escape. We need to ask ourselves, “What am I trying to escape from or avoid?”

There needs to be a balance and a grounding at the same time. Getting carried away with bliss can mean not attending to day to day affairs, such as paying the bills, eating right, and having healthy relationships. I knew a woman like this. She was so wrapped up in her pursuit of peace that when she received a chunk of money in a settlement, she didn’t want to be bothered by trying to invest it. Instead, she gave the money to a friend to invest it for her. Unfortunately, the friend put it in a high risk investment, which failed, and she lost all of her money. The euphoria from spirituality and meditation doesn’t erase our personal responsiblities.

We seek to recognize our wholeness through spirituality and meditation. Instead of feeling like we have a “hole in our soul,” spirituality helps us to understand that we are truly whole and complete as we are. It allows us to be more fully present in our world and expand our awareness of who we are. But as long as it’s being used to avoid our feelings and deep issues, we can’t move forward. We’re either resisting discomfort or moving toward wholeness. We can’t do both.

We have to be able to balance our spiritual practices with our everyday and emotional lives. Spirituality and meditation gives us a sense of connection that we can then take into the rest of our experience. When we are able to acknowledge our issues, work through them, and accept all of ourselves, we’re honoring our spiritual essence.

Affirmation:

I recognize that I am whole and complete just as I am. Spirituality and meditation are important to help me remember that fact. However, when a recurring issue arises in my life, I face it, acknowledge it and address it. I balance my spiritual practices and ground myself to take care of my responsibilities. As I do, I experience more harmony, joy and self-acceptance.

Copyright 2007 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

self-improvement

This past month has been incredibly busy, with my preparing for and delivering my first Teleprogram. The topic was Self-Esteem, and it went very well. I’m planning on offering a four class Teleseminar in January on Spiritual Self-Esteem. For more information, visit “Self-Esteem: The Key To Unlock Your True Potential.”

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine sat in on a lecture by a Zen Master. He said that meditation didn’t heal traumas. After sitting doing meditation for fifteen years, he recognized that he still had a lot of emotional baggage and entered into some emotional healing therapies. He warned the listeners not to attempt to use Zen meditation to fix their lives.

This touched on a subject that I’ve often talked about to my friends and clients. In thirty plus years of being a spiritual seeker, I’ve seen so many people expect that their spiritual practices would wipe away their emotional issues. It does help strengthen them and allow them to face them better, but it doesn’t make them go away. So I wrote my article for my monthly newsletter, “Can Spirituality Be An Escape?”

self-improvement